After Lin Yao pointed at Guan Ze and shouted, he didn't know what to do. It was as if a dozen high-speed trains had passed through his mind, and he didn't know what was going on, but it was a mess.
I could no longer hear anything except rumbling and banging. My vision was almost blurry and I could feel my temples bouncing in unsteady rhythm with my heart.
Even his stiff body swayed back and forth with his heartbeat, forcing him to take half a shoe length forward with his legs stiff in order to stand steadily.
“What’s wrong with you!” Zhang Xing was the first person to react after Lin Yao yelled. When he turned around and saw Lin Yao standing behind him, he almost dug his eyes out and raised his hands to look over, “How did you get here!”
"It's not easy for me to follow you all the way," Lin Yao grinned at him, then fixed his eyes on Guan Ze's somewhat stunned face, his voice still trembling as he said, "Guan Ze, you're really amazing!"
"Lin Yao you..." Guan Ze never expected that Lin Yao would follow Zhang Xing and appear in front of him without any warning. This was probably the first time in the past ten years that he was speechless because of shock.
"Me what?" Lin Yao finally came back to his senses from the confusion and excitement. He walked in front of Guan Ze, three steps. It only took three steps from the door to Guan Ze, but all the emotions he had experienced before these three steps surged up at this moment, "Me what? How did I come here? Why did I come here?"
Guan Ze didn't say anything. Lin Yao's voice was loud, but he looked very haggard, his complexion was not very good, and there were bloodshot in his eyes, which made him feel very distressed.
"Why are you running away? Do you think that if you run away and leave me alone to grieve for two days, all will be fine? Do you think I was three years old and cried when I lost my toy, wiped my tears and turned around to grab the next toy?" Lin Yao glared at Guan Ze, from his bald head to his forehead and then to his nose, "I'm telling you! I played with a broken car until it lost three wheels, but I still treated it as a treasure. When my dad threw it away, I was depressed for almost a year. My heart aches whenever I think of my one-wheeled car, let alone a person!"
Guan Ze still didn't say anything.
Zhang Xing, who was standing aside, was probably not used to the way Lin Yao spoke. He was a little confused. He wanted to say something but seemed to not understand the situation. After a moment of silence, he turned around and walked out of the ward and closed the door.
"I said I didn't think so much about what to do in the future at the beginning, but that doesn't mean I will never think about it!" Lin Yao gritted his teeth, "Guan Ze, you underestimate me too much. Don't hypnotize yourself all the time. Do you really think I'm a child?"
"You know I said good night to you the night before and you disappeared the next day when I went to the company. I couldn't find you at your house and couldn't get through to you on the phone. How do you feel? You know best what it feels like to be pushed aside and thrown away!" Lin Yao's eyes began to ache as he spoke. He rubbed his eyes randomly. He didn't want to cry while cursing. "Tell me! Have you ever thought about how I felt when you pushed me away and left me alone like this!"
Lin Yao grabbed Guan Ze by the collar and yelled, "Speak, you bald bastard!"
Guan Ze pulled away Lin Yao's hand that was grabbing his collar and hugged him tightly.
The moment Guan Ze's strong arms hugged him, Lin Yao couldn't control his tears anymore. He couldn't stand the aura of Guan Ze that was so familiar to him and seemed like he hadn't felt it for hundreds of years. He put his chin on Guan Ze's shoulder and said, "I really want to beat you up..."
"I'm sorry," Guan Ze's lips touched his ears gently, his voice was very low, "I'm really sorry."
"I'm sorry, it's useless," Lin Yao's voice was shaking. He raised his hands and hugged Guan Ze's waist, his arms shaking as well. "Fuck, you've lost a lot of weight. Don't hospitals give you food?"
"It's not tasty, too bland and boring to eat." Guan Ze lowered his head into Lin Yao's shoulder, rubbing his nose against his neck. "I say, how did you find me here?"
"Don't ask. It's been a hassle anyway." Lin Yao closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face and into his mouth. He licked his lips.
"Have you eaten?" Guan Ze patted him on the back, then let go of his hand and looked at him. He took a few tissues from the small table next to him and pressed them on his face. "You're crying like a dam has broken."
"I didn't have time to eat this morning because I had to rush to the airport. Your buddy is awesome. He booked a flight before 10 o'clock. I left at 6 o'clock because I was afraid of traffic jams." Lin Yao took the tissue and lowered his head to wipe his tears. He couldn't tell how he felt now. He just felt dazed and dreamy. "But I'm not hungry."
"I'll change my clothes and go out to eat something," Guan Ze ruffled his hair, "I guess Zhang Xing hasn't eaten either."
"Well," Lin Yao turned his head and looked out through the glass on the door. He didn't see Zhang Xingren. He turned back to look at Guan Ze and couldn't hold back his tears. He quickly pressed his eyes with a tissue. "What's wrong with you?"
"It's a benign tumor," Guan Ze smiled and put on his coat, "I'll have surgery tomorrow morning..."
“What! Surgery tomorrow?” Lin Yao shouted in shock, almost spitting out his tongue, “You’re really… Bald Donkey, you’re really good at this…”
Guan Ze walked up to him, pinched his chin and kissed him on the lips: "Master, please calm down."
"Stop... stop, sir." Lin Yao felt a little dizzy from the gentle kiss. "The Taoist wants to slap you with his whisk."
Zhang Xing was standing by the window in the corridor outside. When he saw the two of them come out, he glanced at Guan Ze's face with an inquiring look.
"It's okay," Guan Ze smiled at him, "Let me formally introduce myself, this is me..."
Lin Yao stared at Guan Ze vigilantly. He didn't want Zhang Xing to know the true relationship between him and Guan Ze. If he added this layer of relationship to his previous behavior of following Zhang Xing every day like a lunatic, he would immediately be unable to face Zhang Xing again.
"My little brother," Guan Ze glanced at him and patted Zhang Xing on the shoulder, "Zhang Xing, Angel Zhang, my buddy. He helped me with my illness this time."
"Brother Zhang," Lin Yao hesitated and held out his hand to Zhang Xing, "I have something urgent to discuss with Guan Ze. I'm really sorry for what happened before, please don't mind."
"It's okay, it's okay." Zhang Xing stretched out his hand and shook his hand, then looked at Guan Ze, "Guan Ze, you..."
"I'm very stable now," Guan Ze turned and walked towards the elevator, "I'm in a good mood, let's go to the door and eat something."
During the meal, Zhang Xing did not mention the fact that Lin Yao had been pestering him like gum stuck to his hair. He just talked to Guan Ze about the surgery and called the old man to ask for help in keeping an eye on it.
Lin Yao didn't say much the whole time. His heart was still in turmoil. He glanced at Guan Ze's face after every bite. If Zhang Xing hadn't been sitting opposite him, he probably wouldn't have bothered to pretend to eat and would have just stared at Guan Ze and done nothing else.
"I just took some time to go to the nurse station next door and ask them to recommend an experienced person to accompany you," Zhang Xing took a bite of food, "You will not be able to move for a while after the operation, and you need someone to help you. I asked them to contact a careful young man. I am afraid that a woman cannot move you..."
"Yeah." Guan Ze nodded and looked at Lin Yao, as if waiting for his opinion.
Lin Yao's mind was a mess. He only listened to the content of Zhang Xing's conversation with Guan Ze that was related to his illness, and didn't think too much about the rest. Guan Ze looked at him, and he was stunned for a long time before saying, "Isn't your head cold?"
Guan Ze was amused and touched his head: "You are just having a hard time with my head, right?"
"No, actually you look better with a bald head than I thought," Lin Yao was a little embarrassed. He took out his ski cap from his bag and threw it to him: "Put it on. It's too conspicuous and I can't help looking up."
After dinner, Zhang Xing wanted to go to the old man's house and did not go back to the hospital with them. At the hospital gate, he called Guan Ze aside and said, "I won't ask you what happened. Anyway, I see that you are in a good mood. But I have to remind you, don't get too excited, okay? You need to get enough rest. You will have surgery tomorrow morning, and nothing can go wrong."
"I know." Guan Ze smiled and patted Zhang Xing on the arm twice. "You have been worrying about my affairs for a long time. I guess that kid didn't let you live in peace. I will thank you later."
"Let's not talk about this," Zhang Xing sighed, then turned to look at Lin Yao, his face full of helplessness, "Luckily you don't owe him money, otherwise if you ran to the moon he would probably be able to build a spaceship and chase you."
Back in the ward, Guan Ze changed back into his hospital gown. The nurse brought him some medicine and took his blood pressure and temperature. After a while, she saw Lin Yao standing next to him: "Are you a family member of the patient?"
"Yes," Lin Yao nodded as if he was on drugs when he heard the word "family member", "Yes, yes, yes..."
"It's good to have a family member here. Let me tell you, tomorrow's surgery will be performed under general anesthesia. When you come out, you will have a urinary catheter inserted and monitoring equipment. You will have to work hard to take care of it."
"Don't worry, I'll stay wherever he is and I won't leave his side for a single step."
"You don't have to be so exaggerated. We've hired someone to accompany him, so you just need to watch him. Be a little tired and sleep less at night." The nurse didn't know why he was so excited. She glanced at him and walked out. "Have a good rest. Don't let him run around anymore, okay?"
"I know!" Lin Yao almost stood at attention and saluted.
"How many days of leave did you take?" Guan Ze asked while leaning on the bed after the nurse closed the door and left.
"Three days," Lin Yao took a chair and sat beside the bed, leaning on the edge of the bed and holding Guan Ze's hand, "This is not the point. I will definitely not go back within three days. At worst, I will resign."
Guan Ze sighed softly and squeezed his hand: "You've been through a lot these past few days, haven't you? You look really bad."
"You also know how to mess around?" Lin Yao's nose felt sore when he mentioned this. "I really can't say anything to you. I had some great news to tell you on the day we video chatted. I kept thinking about talking to you the next day just to make it more formal, but you disappeared. I really..."
"What great news?" Guan Ze touched his face and pressed his frowning brows.
"My brother agreed to talk to mom for me. He originally disagreed and said he wouldn't stand on my side, but..." Lin Yao glanced at Guan Ze, lowered his head and lowered his voice, "I said we've already done it, there's definitely no hope for me and the girl, this is it for the rest of our lives."
Guan Ze raised his eyebrows in surprise, and instantly felt a little amused and helpless: "Did you tell your brother about this?"
"I just said it when I was talking. I didn't mean to say it," Lin Yao rubbed his nose. "Anyway, my brother was at a loss when he heard it and said he would help me."
"And then?" Guan Ze recalled Lin Zong's imposing and tough attitude in his office, "Your brother really loves you."
"Not bad. It's not in vain that he has been struggling since he was a child." Lin Yao suddenly laughed, his eyes narrowed with laughter, "My mother also knows about it, and she has no objection! Got it!"
“Really…” This surprised Guan Ze and he sat up straight.
"Well, although she was very uncomfortable," Lin Yao bit his lip and sighed, then couldn't help but smile, "but she still accepted it."
Guan Ze didn't say anything, just looked at Lin Yao, the feeling in his heart was indescribable.
Grounded, satisfied, and a little excited.
He suddenly found that some things were beyond his expectations because he had never experienced such a warm and solid family life.
What strong family ties can accommodate is beyond his imagination.
"So, do you know how I felt when I went to the company to look for you with such great news, but suddenly I couldn't find you?" Lin Yao looked at him and grabbed his arm hard. "Desperate, it's already dark, you know!"
"I'm sorry," Guan Ze hugged him and patted him gently, "I'm sorry."
"We'll settle this later," Lin Yao waved his hand. "I'm too nervous right now to care about this."
"What are you nervous about?"
"You need surgery, do it tomorrow morning," Lin Yao frowned, "If I hadn't come with you today, would you have gone to the operating table alone? You are so cruel to yourself, hero, what on earth are you thinking!"
"I'm afraid you'll worry," Guan Ze pressed his forehead again, "This isn't an incurable disease, I don't want you to get nervous if you know about it, and..."
"And you're planning to take this opportunity to say goodbye to me, right?" Lin Yao squinted at him. "You left without even taking a change of clothes. Are you playing a trick? Are you planning to sneak back in a year or two when my strength has worn off?"
Guan Ze didn't say anything and looked at him seriously.
"Guan Ze," Lin Yao moved closer to him, "Can we make a deal?"
"Um, what?"
"Let's not do this anymore, okay? No matter what happens, we can handle it together. I know you're used to handling everything by yourself, but that was in the past." Lin Yao looked at Guan Ze's face, then glanced at his head, and couldn't help but reach out and touch it, "It's so smooth."
"Don't get off topic." Guan Ze flicked his wrist with his finger.
"Now that I'm here, I admit that I'm not as mature as you and I'm always crying, but I'm also a man, not a girl. I don't need anyone to protect me like a girl," Lin Yao grabbed Guan Ze's hand and kissed him. "I call you my wife... well, I don't really consider you my wife, and I don't plan to treat you like a wife, do you understand me? Things between two people should be shared by both of us. If my dad can't get over it, I won't shoulder it alone. You have to help me shoulder it, understand? Baldy?"
"I understand." Guan Ze nodded. Lin Yao's words and the temperature of his hands made him feel very warm.
"That's fine. There's one more thing," Lin Yao pointed to his bag, "I have a big gift for you. Do you want to see it?"
"want."
Lin Yao stood up and opened his bag, then took out a bag: "It was originally packaged, but my bag wasn't big enough, so I left it out."
"This..." Guan Ze looked at the bag in Lin Yao's hand. He couldn't figure out what was inside for a long time. "And the packaging?"
"Nonsense, how can you sell breakfast without packaging?" Lin Yao handed the bag to him. "Look, this is what I prepared for you to celebrate with after I told you the good news."
"Breakfast?" Guan Ze took the bag inexplicably, opened it and took a look inside. His voice suddenly became louder, "Dumplings?"
"Yes, steamed dumplings. I couldn't find a place to buy celebratory gifts that morning, so I bought a steamer for steamed dumplings on the way. I bought the steamer together with it, but it took up too much space, so I didn't bring it with me."
"It's been a week, right?" Guan Ze smelled it, but didn't smell anything. It should have been frozen before, but it looked really shocking.
"Well," Lin Yao came over and pinched the dumplings, "I didn't find you that day, so I froze the dumplings. I wanted to eat them anyway because you weren't here so I could celebrate by myself, but I couldn't bear to do it. I thought I would definitely find you, so I'll keep these. If that doesn't work, I'll find a place to vacuum pack them or something..."
Guan Ze didn't say a word, but suddenly lay down on the hospital bed and raised his arms to cover his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Lin Yao was so nervous that his voice was a little distorted. He raised his hand to press the pager, "Are you feeling unwell? I'll call the nurse!"
"Don't move." Guan Ze said, still covering his face with his arms.
Lin Yao's hand stopped when it touched the pager button. He could hear a nasal tone in Guan Ze's voice. If he wasn't hallucinating, Guan Ze... was crying
"Wife!" Lin Yao rushed to the bed and hugged Guan Ze, pressing his face against his chest and looking desperately at his eyes under his arm, "Are you crying?"
"Yeah." Guan Ze responded.
Lin Yao saw the tears falling from his eyes and opened his mouth but couldn't say anything. He had never thought that Guan Ze, who was always calm and steady, would cry. This man with a past that he could not imagine would cry in front of him.
"What's wrong?" Lin Yao's hands were shaking, and he didn't dare to pull Guan Ze's arm directly, so he could only touch his arm, "What did I say to make you cry? I haven't cried yet, so don't cry. Can't you be excited? What do you think if you cry every time I cry in the future, how can we live..."
Guan Ze didn't know why he suddenly wanted to cry, and he just cried.
Lin Yao always looked silly in front of him, and even when he said something serious he sounded silly, but every time he did so he could feel a sense of security and warmth he had never felt before.
He didn't mind crying in front of Lin Yao. He was the only person he could face honestly without any disguise.
But he was not like Lin Yao who couldn't stop crying once he started, especially when Lin Yao got anxious and started nagging, he couldn't help laughing, put down his arms and looked at Lin Yao and laughed for a long time.
"What a joke! How can you be like this..." Lin Yao frowned and wiped his eyes with a tissue, "I haven't found the words to comfort you yet."
"Hey," Guan Ze sat up and flicked his forehead helplessly, "You are really good at ruining the atmosphere."
"Why are you crying?" Lin Yao was a little confused. "What did I say to make you cry?"
"Come here," Guan Ze hooked his finger, "I'll tell you in secret."
"Here it comes." Lin Yao leaned on the edge of the bed and moved closer to Guan Ze's face.
Guan Ze put his arms around his neck and hugged him close to him, kissed his earlobe, and whispered in his ear: "I love you."
Guan Ze's deep voice penetrated Lin Yao's body.
Lin Yao had never heard Guan Ze speak to him in such a serious tone, and the content was such.
He suddenly felt that his arms could no longer support the bed, and his whole body began to tremble as if he had the hiccups. After holding on for two seconds, his legs went limp and he knelt down beside the bed.
"Lin Yao?" Guan Ze quickly grabbed him.
"I..." Lin Yao gritted his teeth, suddenly jumped up, and shook off Guan Ze's hand, "I'm going to the bathroom."
The toilet in the inpatient department was not big, but there was basically no one there. Lin Yao rushed into a cubicle, closed the door, squatted down, hugged his head and started crying.
He no longer cared about the fact that he had made up his mind not to cry again but had not been able to hold back his tears even once. Just cry, as my mother said, holding it in is not good for your health.
For so many days, he had been gritting his teeth and holding on. He wanted to pester Zhang Xing and find out Guan Ze's whereabouts. He had no time and no mood to cry. Even when he met Guan Ze before, he didn't dare to be too presumptuous because Zhang Xing was still outside.
Now he was like a puppy that had been tied to a cage for several months and was finally thrown onto the grass. He just wanted to run around and have a good cry.
After so many years of repression, so much caution, worrying about all the uncertainties, and a future that I never thought about or dared to think about...
Lin Yao was crying so hard that his whole body felt relaxed and all his pores were open when he heard someone enter the bathroom. He quickly held his breath and pressed the mute button to mute his own crying.
The person who came in went directly into the cubicle next to him. Lin Yao was a little depressed. He was crying happily when someone came in to take a shit!
The man closed the door and there was no sound. Lin Yao pricked up his ears but didn't hear any sound of pants being taken off. He was just wondering why someone came to the toilet to stand in the corner as a punishment when the man suddenly spoke.
"Are you done crying?"
It was Guan Ze's voice. Lin Yao jumped up and said, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I'm afraid you'll be too excited and fall into the pit." Guan Ze's voice was filled with laughter.
"Get lost," Lin Yao also wanted to laugh. He raised his hand and wiped his face randomly, then closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "Guan Ze, can you please say what you just said again?"
"Can we not talk about these things in a place like this?" Guan Ze sighed and knocked on the partition.
"No, I want to hear it now. What's wrong with the toilet? You still have a tray of steamed dumplings waiting there, and I don't know if it's rotten or not."
"I love you."