"Hello? Can you hear me?"
The moment the voice call was connected, Xiang Gu didn't know what to say.
He sat there in a daze, with the hot phone beside his ear.
And in the receiver, the voice of his male god was coming out.
"Hey, guess, what happened?" Wang Qingyun's voice was low and sweet, even after reprocessing the radio waves, it couldn't hide his tenderness. "Is it a matter of study, a family matter, or something else?"
"..." The boy's small Adam's apple moved, "all of them." He whispered, "My life is a mess."
"Don't worry," the man reassured him, "Even if it is messy, you can find the thread, as long as you find the 'thread', a little bit, straighten it out step by step, it will be much clearer."
thread...
Xiang Gu's eyelashes drooped, and his eyes fell on his feet.
He has always known where the "thread end" is, but this thread end is a dead knot, an unsolved problem that can never be solved. It's there forever and can't be ignored by all.
Xiang Gu sometimes wondered, why didn't he just take him away in the car accident? It's better to take his life than to take his feet.
At least take his life, no one will be sad for him. His gambler's parents didn't know where they fled; and his teachers and classmates only needed to be sad for a short while to get out of the shadows; as for his life debt, he could be handed over to the police uncle to detect.
Unlike now - everyone offered him carefully, as if he were a china vase that would shatter when the wind blows.
He moved his ankle.
As a dancer, he is familiar with every muscle and every inch of bone in his body. He knew what he used to be, with flexible ankles and beautiful insteps that could support his body.
But now, his ankle not only has limited range of motion, but even hurts every cloudy and rainy day.
He is like the little mermaid. A little mermaid who doesn't have a prince waiting for him to wake up with a kiss, but still walks on the tip of a knife and broken glass.
Xiang Guess didn't say a word, just quietly, quietly examining his feet.
He didn't speak, and Tan Yiming on the other side of the ocean didn't speak either.
The boy's shallow breathing came from the receiver, as if it would disappear at any moment.
For some reason, Tan Yiming was a little worried about him.
Although he and Guess chatted many times, they didn't talk deeply and rarely involved real life. Tan Yiming has always wanted to distinguish between the two and three-dimensional identities. He hides himself very tightly and is not interested in the real lives of others.
But he regrets it a little now - if he knew a little more about Guess, he could help him at this time.
"Are you still there?" Tan Yiming asked.
a long time.
"Yes." The boy's voice was clear and vague, "It's still there."
Tan Yiming said, "If you want to talk about your troubles, I happen to be free now and can help you analyze it." He pretended to be mature and said, "Anyway, I'm a few years older than you, as long as you don't dislike me. Mind your own business, look to Qingyun Psychological Office, always open the door for Guess.”
"… Guess."
On the other end of the radio wave, a strange word suddenly came.
"What?" Tan Yiming didn't react, "Guess?"
"Well," the boy said softly, "don't call me guess, call me guess."
Guess.
A quirky, funny, name.
The extremely simple words rolled in Tan Yiming's throat. The tip of the tongue spreads the two rows of teeth, and the plosive sound follows. Two identical Chinese characters are repeated twice - Guess, "Guess".
Tan Yiming suddenly laughed: "Guess, is this your real name? It's funny."
The man shouted again: "Guess."
"Well, I'm here."
"Guess."
"it's me."
"Guess..." Tan Yiming whispered softly, as if singing a lullaby to a lamb, "I told you to guess, will you be happy?"
"Yes," said the boy on the other end of the phone. "I haven't been this happy in a long time."
This nickname only existed when he was very young. Before he was five years old, he briefly had a harmonious family. Even if there is not much money in the family, but the love of the father and mother, life has a direction to move forward.
But I don't know when it started, endless quarrels appeared between the two parents. Mom hugged him and cried, saying, Guess, if it wasn't for you, my mother would have left this poor home long ago; Dad touched his head and sighed, saying, Guess, you are the pride of the old Xiangjia, Absolutely can not relax, to stand out.
Later, Guess I saw a word from the book, called Pepsi grief for poor and humble couples.
He thought, as long as he dances well, gets famous and makes money, then his parents won't quarrel, right
Therefore, he was admitted to Huawu with the first grade in the whole department, and he never let up. Even his classmates laughed at him, saying that he was either in the game or on the way to the game. He didn't know how many certificates or stacks of bonuses he took back, and finally got his parents' smiles back, but at that time they would never hug him again and ask him to guess.
… Then, his parents both became addicted to gambling, and his life went to hell again.
later. He didn't feel "happy" when he overcame the difficulties, recovered successfully, and was finally able to stand up without the crutches.
later. When the police informed him that according to the clues he provided, the city formed a special task force to finally wipe out the gang of underworld forces and send the murderer to prison, he was not happy either.
But now... When Xiang Gu heard the voice in the receiver that made him fascinated and uttered the sentence "Guess", he suddenly burst into tears.
He's only seventeen, he hasn't walked out of school yet, he's still a teenager.
He didn't want to go through this at all, and he also wanted to be born in the most ordinary family, to be able to take the stage with the support and blessing of his family, laugh, dance, and sing.
Xiang Guai cried quietly, not hysterically, but holding the phone, silently, silently weeping.
However, the slight changes in his breathing and the sound of his nose twitching from time to time still caught Tan Yiming's attention.
"Are you crying?" Tan Yiming asked with concern.
"No." Xiang Guai said stubbornly, "I am, my nose is a little uncomfortable." But his cry had already revealed everything.
Tan Yiming kindly did not expose his lies. Because even he experienced unthinkable times when he was young, and tears were the only outlet.
Tan Yiming reassured him softly: "Guess, I don't know what happened to you. If you don't want to say it, you can leave it alone, and I won't ask."
He paused and continued: "But I want to say that Gu Gu, who I know, is a man who keeps moving forward and works hard. No matter what kind of predicament is in front of you, I believe that you will definitely be able to overcome it. it."
"Do not!"
Unexpectedly, Xiang Gu interrupted him.
- "You believe me, why do you believe me?!"
Xiang guessed that he was crazy, why would he say such a thing
- "My teacher, my doctor, my classmates, all don't believe me, why do you believe me?"
Xiang Guess, shut up, let me shut up quickly.
- "Even I don't believe in myself, why do you believe in me?"
Xiang Guess, why did he express such negative emotions to Wang Qingyun? These negative emotions were like a sharp knife, stabbing them both at the same time.
—Xiang Gu heard his own voice echoing in the small space, the voice was so small that it was like a hallucination in his mind: "... When a swan loses its wings, do you really believe that it Can you continue to fly?"
The next second, Xiang Guai, who had been crying to the point of collapse, hung up the phone, curled up and slipped to the ground.
What did he do... what did he do
The beloved idol kindly comforted him, even sacrificing his rest time to make transoceanic phone calls with him. He should clearly thank Wang Qingyun from the bottom of his heart, instead of pouring out his pain on the other party like he is crazy like now.
Who is Wang Qingyun? It's his idol, it's his goal! … Not his relatives, not his friends, not his lover, not someone he can spoil.
He's really... he's really a piece of shit. When the proud outer shell was shattered, Xiang Gu, who was hiding in the shell, was actually sensitive and fragile.
The burden on him was too heavy. He cares too much about other people's opinions, and at any time and on any occasion, he always pretends to be at ease.
And just now, just a few minutes ago, he actually used those irrational words to refute the person he cared about the most!
The phone in his pocket kept vibrating, and Xiang Gu didn't dare to look at it.
He was afraid that Wang Qingyun would send a private chat and scold him for not knowing what to do, but he was even more afraid that Wang Qingyun would block him without saying a word.
He walked out of the men's bathroom blankly and walked back to the classroom blankly.
The teacher on the podium asked him where he went and why he disappeared for most of the class.
Xiang Guai didn't answer, but his face was very bad, so the teacher thought he was not feeling well and told him to go back to the dormitory to rest.
Say hello to Guess softly.
Some classmates said they wanted to send him back, but he politely said no, he could do it alone.
Then, this extremely proud and extremely inferior boy, under the gaze of the whole class, straightened his back and slowly walked out of the classroom.
…
On the way back to the dormitory, Xiang Chai passed the vocal music classroom on the first floor.
Huawu High School actually covers a very small area. There are six grades, six majors and six classes in each grade. One class has thirty people, plus the teaching staff. It only needs one teaching building.
Huawu High School is famous for its dance, so there are many dance classrooms in the teaching building, but only one vocal music classroom.
The windows of the vocal music classroom were not closed, and faintly, the sound of the piano came out.
Xiang Guai paused, he had already heard the melody of the song.
It's Electricity.
It is the most brilliant, exciting, and most tear-jerking theme song in the entire "Out of My World" musical.
According to the plot, the male protagonist, Little Billy, is led by his father to take the ballet school selection test. However, due to insufficient preparation, he failed to meet the requirements and lost the election.
Just as he walked out of the classroom, the interview teacher stopped him and asked him a question.
- "Billy, how do you feel when you dance? 』
Xiang Guess stopped unknowingly.
This question is asking Billy, why is it not asking him
What was he thinking when he danced? …
In the vocal music classroom, the few good seedlings who have been screened and left behind are facing the final assessment.
On the chairs in front of them are the directors, producers, and screenwriters of "Leap Out of My World". Their expressions are serious, because tomorrow they will leave the Huawu High School, and today is the last round of assessment, and they will learn from these children. , choose Billy Elliott in your mind.
They were so serious that several students standing by the piano were also very nervous.
They were the top students of the ballet department, and they took vocal music lessons for a month. No one knew which one of them would end up on the stage.
Everyone wants to be the protagonist.
The accompaniment of "Electricity" drifted in the room.
The director picked up the script book, read the line aloud, and set up a scene for them: "Billy, how do you feel when you dance?"
The first student took a step, took a nervous breath, and sang the first sentence tremblingly.
No one noticed, just on the lawn outside the window sill, there was a boy standing there stupidly, humming this song softly to the accompanying music—
"I can't explain it,
I can't control it either,
That feeling is called forgetting.
I forgot my existence,
But at the same time harvested the complete self. "
Xiang Gu had asked himself countless times.
What exactly is ballet to him? Is it a prop to earn awards, a medium for honoring his parents, or... or something he loves from the heart
Others call ballet art, but Xiang guesses that it's not art, it's his life.
"It's kind of like being angry,
Kind of like fear.
Confused, tangled, crazy,
like a hysterical cry,
Satisfied and empty"
For outsiders, many people think that men who dance ballet are a bit naive. But so what? Ballet is not danced for outsiders, but for people who understand him.
Some people dance for joy.
And he, because dancing, is happy.
"Listen to that music ringing in my ears,
I disappeared from the sky and the earth.
The change was earth-shattering,
That fire is buried deep in my heart,
That power broke through my body,
Rush to the sky"
Xiang Chai switched to singing and dancing because he didn't want to forget his dream.
He wanted to be on stage and show his love to everyone in the world.
... But, he has no chance.
Xiang Gu's singing gradually subsided, and he wanted to leave before the curtain call was over.
What's the point of continuing to sing, to keep dancing
He can't, he can't at all. He was humiliating himself by standing on that stage, what if he fell in front of all the audience
In the classroom, the candidate is getting better. At first his vocal cords were a little tight, but he gradually loosened up as he sang.
Xiang Chai knew him—that boy was a very spiritual boy in the next ballet department. Many people said that the role of "A" had already been assumed by him.
Xiang Chai stood on tiptoe for one last look, and then forced himself to turn around and leave. He thought that giving up now was the most dignified decision.
The music was still lingering behind him, but Xiang Gu had no energy to sing.
step.
two steps.
Three steps.
The phone in my pocket suddenly vibrated again.
Xiang Guai was stunned there, and a hunch made him take out his phone.
The screen lit up, and a string of unexpected words appeared in the dialog box—
Yiming Qingyun: Sorry, I'm not very good at comforting people, it seems to make you more sad.
Bright Cloud: Everyone has negative emotions, it doesn't matter if you vent to me.
Bright Cloud: You don't have to be embarrassed.
Yi Ming Qing Yun: I haven't answered your last question yet.
A bright cloud: You ask me, if a swan loses its wings, can it still fly
A bright cloud: I thought about it, if a swan loses its wings, it will fall from the sky into a pond and become an ugly duckling.
A bright cloud: And the ugly duckling is destined to become a white swan.
Xiang Chai couldn't hold it any longer and burst into tears.
He turned sharply and ran towards the vocal classroom.
Closer, closer, the piano accompaniment floating out became clearer and clearer, and an uncontrollable impulse erupted from his chest.
He's going to sing, he's going to dance, he's going to be on that stage!
No one can decide for him!
"I can't explain it,
I can't control it either,
Like silent music ringing in my ears
The fire burns, it shakes my heart"
He completely forgot himself, singing loudly, no longer suppressing himself. He rushed into the school building, letting his singing echo through the corridor.
He knew that it was still class time, and he blatantly violated the school rules to make "noise", and maybe he would be punished tomorrow.
But he was not afraid, not afraid of anything.
He is still singing.
"Suddenly I flew,
Like a bird flying in the sky
like lightning splitting clouds
i am free—
i am free! ! ! "
Xiang Chai finally ran to the door of the vocal music classroom, and his singing loudly just now interrupted the selection in the classroom and called everyone's attention.
When the vocal teacher hurriedly opened the door, the boy who was panting was standing outside the door, his eyes like stars in the sky.
He looked beyond the teacher to the vocal classroom, the ballet boys waiting for the final assessment, and the producer, director and screenwriter sitting opposite them.
His chest heaved violently, the running and singing just now brought a great burden to his body, and sweat slipped from his forehead, but he did not show any signs of fatigue.
"Report!" he said loudly, "Xiang Guai, a seventh-grade student majoring in singing and dancing, apply for the male lead selection!!"
The author has something to say: The lyrics of the song "Electricity" appearing in this chapter are my free translation based on the English lyrics!
There are some discrepancies with the original lyrics, and the order of paragraphs has been adjusted! !
It was adapted for the sake of Chinese rhyme and to set off the plot.
I recommend everyone to listen to the original version!
Original music: NetEase Cloud and Tencent Music have both.
If you can spare five minutes, I would recommend you to go to station B to search for videos. Little Billy is really dazzling on the stage!
(I really beg you to watch this video, I really listened to this video to finish writing this chapter, it can especially set off the atmosphere!!)
The full name of the play is "billy eliot/Billy Elliot/Jump out of my world/Boy in ballet shoes", the whole play can be found on station b! !