Not all the smoke scars on my legs were made by Duan Jinjiang. At that time, my brother was at the age of a little boy. I was just four years old, and he was the size that people hate dogs. At that time, we often had blood feuds.
He has a small bedroom himself. I sleep with my parents. I have been curious about his bedroom since I was a child. I wanted to touch everything in his room, but he didn’t allow me to touch it, so he put all the drawers up. After the lock, he yelled to get me out as soon as I entered his bedroom.
Of course I couldn't listen to him. While he was going out to play with his peers in the yard, I sneaked into his bedroom and played with his things on the desk.
His homework is still on the table, and my brother's handwriting is very beautiful, although I don't know a few. He had a stack of comic books stacked on his desk. I tried to get a book on tiptoe. I just put a pen on the side of my homework, so I picked it up and wrote on the book. My writing was crooked and I didn’t know how to write. As good-looking as my brother.
I stayed in his room for a long time, and he came back suddenly, yelled without warning, dragged me off the chair and shook me out of the door.
I sat on the ground at a loss, crying, and he gritted his teeth with the comic book that I painted dirty. My parents thought it was too annoying for me to cry, so they told my brother, isn't it just a book? He was about to go to junior high school and read cartoons and confiscated them.
My brother's eyes were red with tears, and when he stared at me, I cried harder, and we both wished to kill each other.
The next day my brother led me out to play, threw me to a group of punks, and smiled and said to me, "I'm going to school, Duan Yan, let's play with them."
As soon as he left, my nightmare came. It is said that my memory before the age of six was completely vague, but I have a deep memory of this period. The group of punks pressed me to the ground, put out the cigarette butts on my thigh, and kicked my stomach and legs hard. I only felt pain and fear. , Screaming for my brother to save me.
He did come to rescue me, it was only half an hour late, but I still regarded him as a hero, and I didn't understand why he was crying. Later, even if he told me the truth, the only clear memory in my mind was the scene where he hugged me and left.
From then on, my brother gave me everything, and I tried my best not to make him angry, but I couldn’t help being close to him, even if he annoyed me and hated me, and didn’t want me to go into his bedroom on his bed, I couldn’t help it. , I like the smell in his bedroom, the bed smells of my brother's shampoo.
In fact, my parents don't like me. They like my elder brother better. My brother is very competitive. No matter what grade he is promoted, he only takes first place in school. I am very skinny and a little hooligan who is crazy about playing everywhere.
My dad patronizes drinking and playing mahjong. He always doesn't care about family affairs. He comes back every night to pick me up and beat me up.
I heard from my mother that they didn’t plan to give birth to me, but after my mother gave birth to my brother, the doctor didn’t put her on a ring. It's a drag on me.
I thought to myself that it would be fine if my mother had let me go. Don't delay my reincarnation. Of course I don't care.
My brother and I completely eased the relationship when I was six years old, when my aunt came to live temporarily, my family layout temporarily became my dad sleeping on the sofa, my mother and my aunt slept in their bedroom, and I came over to my brother's cot.
The next day I was shocked to find that my brother wets the bed. I also touched a few pieces on the sheets, which were sticky. I didn’t understand spermatorrhea at the time. I thought that after studying too much, I would pee this sticky urine. It's because my brother is too good.
With a dark face, he wiped the sheets and underwear with paper, took off his underwear, and asked me to carry it away and don't look at it. I was anxious for him, grabbed some toilet paper to help him wipe the dick, his face became even darker.
My mother asked us what we were arguing in the morning, and I rushed to say that I was wetting the bed, and my brother was helping me clean up the sheets.
Not surprisingly, my dad came over with a feather duster and beat me up. My mother scolded me and washed the sheets while my aunt laughed at me all day. My brother gave me all his snacks. When my aunt left, I was allowed to sleep with him.
My brother went to boarding school in middle and high school, and I was the only family at home. At this time, the relationship at home was very cold. Mom often went to and out of the club when she was gone. My dad was obsessed with gambling. One more business, hit me.
There are four people in my family, and I can live like a left-behind child.
Every weekend, my brother comes back to see me on vacation, so I look forward to the weekend like most office workers. When he comes, I will pretend that I don’t need him.
Two years later, my mother ran away with someone, and took my brother away by the way. My dad's face was dull and he sprinkled fire on me. I don't like to go home. Going home is no different from the big punishment.
I look forward to my brother every day, hoping that he will come to save me again, he has not come, he definitely does not want me.
"Little Yan."
"baby."
I felt something rubbing against my face, and my brother was kissing me, stroking my back with his big hands.
I was expressionless and asked him to help me clean the tears and nose from my face.
My brother wiped and said, "I'm just going to the balcony to smoke for a while. What will you do when you go to college?"
As long as my brother leaves me in the middle of the night, I will have nightmares. I will go crazy if I can't smell him. I haven't left him for a long time. I can't live without him. I might get sick early in the morning.