They spent the night in the car.
He Yu's fever is really slowly subsided, and his mood is gradually stabilizing, but before that, Xie Qingcheng can't take the risk and continue to drive. It was a construction road before. If there is any accident in He Yu, the situation will change. It's hard to handle.
Xie Qingcheng took care of him straight, until He Yu's body temperature and emotions approached normal.
The second episode was undoubtedly quite serious, and the long-term abuse of "drugs" had already been revealed. He Yu even had symptoms of complete loss of control, and after he finished venting, the whole person became very tired, and during the recovery process He gradually fell into a semi-conscious "slumber".
Xie Qingcheng waited for him to fall asleep before he fastened his seat belt and drove again. At that time, the sky was already full of white fish, and the darkest hour had passed.
He still planned to send He Yu back to the main villa.
He Yu's current situation is really bad, he needs to know what He Yu is hiding—
Thinking of this, Xie Qingcheng felt a little ironic.
As before, it was He Yuqi about what he was hiding, but now he actually has to try to figure out what unknown changes happened to He Yu.
Xie Qingcheng took off his jacket and threw it on the sleeping He Yu, and Lu drove the car to He Yu's door steadily and quickly.
He rang the bell, and it was the housekeeper who came to open the door.
Although Xie Qingcheng was already seen in the video bell, the housekeeper was a little surprised when he opened the door and actually met a man.
What's more, Xie Qingcheng was still holding He Yu, who was half asleep and half dizzy.
"Thank you, thank you doctor..."
"Is Mr. He there?"
"Mr. He and Lv have something to do temporarily, and they are not in Huzhou..."
Xie Qingcheng sighed, almost as expected.
He said, "please help me get him in first, it's heavy."
Xie Qingcheng's housekeeper helped him to the bed.
Because He Yu never liked others to enter his room, the housekeeper did not dare to stay any longer, so he quickly bowed and left.
Xie Qingcheng settled the people, got up and looked carefully at a place he hadn't been to for a long time.
The furnishings in the house were the same five years ago, and there were no major changes.
It's just that the whole room looked cold. After Xie Qingcheng came in, he didn't feel like a usual bedroom, but like a star-rated hotel room, which meant that although the room was very comfortable, there was nothing distinctive about him.
The homeowner doesn't love a room and seems to leave at any time.
Because of the minimalist furnishings in the house, some things are particularly distinctive. Xie Qingcheng suddenly found the book "Rare Diseases in the World" on He Yu's desk. It was a thought he left to He Yu when he left five years ago. The purpose was to encourage He Yu to walk out slowly on his own. The shadow of illness, don't forget the pair of ossification cases he said.
"Little devil, you're not alone." In fact, it was the comfort he couldn't say at the time.
In the end, it all turned into a handsome handwriting on the title page—
To congratulations.
Xie Qingcheng walked to the desk and opened the old book, which was obviously turned over. The words he wrote five years ago came into view. The traces of the pen have been eroded and faded by the years. He stared silently with his long eyelashes. for a long time.
Crash.
Before Xu Shi He Yu left, he forgot to close the window, and forgot to draw the curtains as usual. A gust of morning wind blew in, blowing the pages of the book.
suddenly.
Seems like it was meant to be.
The tissue paper with the pages in the book fell out like a flower and fell on the table.
And the ray of morning light just penetrated the clouds and shone on the paper.
Xie Qingcheng was stunned.
It turned out to be an inspection sheet.
He picked up the document and wanted to put it back into the book, and he looked at it while he was doing it.
The result was something he had never imagined.
He thought it was He Yuji's list, such as a commemoration of his mental Ebola disease turning around, but it was just an ordinary blood test list.
The name of the examinee is also printed on the form:
Xie Qingcheng.
"..." There's nothing more outrageous than seeing your own lab report in someone else's home.
Xie Qingcheng was stunned for a while, then took the tissue paper and looked at it carefully.
It's really his blood test list.
But how could He Yu have something
Looking at the printing time of the report, Xie Qingcheng frowned and recalled for a while, and suddenly realized something, and his face slowly turned ugly.
It was like... After they finished the first time... they had a fever and were taken to the hospital by Chen Man.
Yes, he remembered, Chen Gan said at the time that he had lost a blood test sheet, so he had to draw a new tube of blood.
Xie Qingcheng thought about it before and after, and probably understood.
He Yu must have gone to the hospital that day, but He Yu didn't "dew" from beginning to end—
But what does he do with the list
Xie Qingcheng gritted his teeth slightly, and then looked closely, the back of the list vaguely revealed some words.
He turned the list over and saw it.
On the white paper, He Yu wrote a whole page of "Xie Qingcheng, I'm sorry"...
The color "color" of the pen is different, and the degree of scribbles is different.
It seems that they did not stay at the same time, but sentences He Yu wrote from time to time.
"… "
Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes.
Forget it, since you have already said that the past will not be pursued when you flooded the photography library, why are you still spending your emotions on it
He threw the blood test sheet into the trash can, so as not to let He Yu look at it and feel guilty again, he took the excuses every day to practice calligraphy, and he also closed the window so that the wind would not continue to blow.
Just then, he suddenly heard He Yu calling him in a low voice: "Xie Qingcheng."
"… "
"Xie Qingcheng..."
Xie Qingcheng walked to his bedside and found that the boy hadn't woken up, just muttering in his dreams.
Xie Qingcheng stood beside him and looked at him for a while: "...what are you calling, I'm not your father."
But at the end of the day, other people still have their own roots, and he can't watch the patient suffer in front of him and ignore it.
So Xie Qingcheng stayed with He Yu for a while, until he was sure that he was asleep, then got up again and went downstairs to find the housekeeper.
He wanted to ask about He Yu's recent use of "drugs".
Butler: "Eldest young master, because his mood is very unstable, he always takes the "medicine" down the ground. We are also worried when we look at it."
"Since when?"
"It's been a long time, always a few months."
"You don't persuade him at all."
The housekeeper sighed: "Hey, how do you persuade him? He Shao takes 'medicine', although we know it's not good for his health, but it's a god. It's not like before, the young master fell from the building when he fell sick... "
"!!" Xie Qingcheng asked, "Falling from the building?"
"Yes, yes." The housekeeper was stunned, "Don't you know?"
"… When is it?"
"During the winter vacation, before the young master went to the "Judgment" crew. His reaction in those days was quite strange. First, he was very excited. We also talked about it. Asked him if there was a guest coming, he said yes, but no one came after that..."
The butler's lips opened and closed, and he was still talking about trivial things, but Xie Qingcheng's face had turned pale, and he did not listen to the content after that.
Of course he knew who the room was for.
He also knew very well who the guest who did not appear in the end was.
In the end, he slowly remembered that he had actually received news from He Yu at that time.
He Yu sent him a message and sent several messages in succession.
He said, "Dr. Xie, I'm sick."
"Xie Qingcheng, I'm sick."
But Xie Qingcheng hated him so much at the time, he only felt that He Yu was playing the game of "wolf is coming" again, and he didn't think the content of the text message was real.
Now that he has learned the truth, Xie Qingcheng can't tell what the time is—
Ru He Yu threatened him, saying that if you didn't come to be my doctor, I would destroy it for you. Then Xie Qingcheng would find him disgusting, thinking that he was kidnapping himself in another sense.
But He Yu didn't.
He Yu didn't want morality to kidnap him later, and he even sincerely hoped that Xie Qingcheng would not know anything anymore.
He Yuqiang held on for a long time.
Until now, he couldn't hold it anymore.
Xie Qingcheng thanked the housekeeper and returned to He Yu's bedroom.
His time is very "chaotic".
In fact, even now, he did not understand what He Yu had done. But human love is not black or white, hate or love. When he knew that He Yu had endured the pain alone for a long time later - that kind of pain was even caused by his refusal, Xie Qingcheng said The mood suddenly became very complicated.
It is his instinct as a doctor that he does not want to see the patient and I hurt.
Not wanting to see He Yume hurt is his instinct as the first case of mental Ebola.
Now He Yu's various behaviors make him very depressed. He doesn't understand why He Yu is doing everything - is it because they are the so-called "same kind"
Agitatedly, he wanted to knock out a cigarette to smoke, but when he saw the miserable condition of the young man on the bed, he wondered if it was too much to smoke second-hand smoke in front of the patient.
So he bit his lower lip and put the cigarette case back.
After staying up until around 1:00 pm, He Yu finally woke up from his coma.
The teenager lay on the bed, raised his hand to prop his forehead, and after a while, he remembered what happened yesterday coherently.
- Violent scuffle in the car.
Xie Qingcheng kept holding him down, and he was finally strangled by his neck.
He became ill and almost strangled Xie Qingcheng to death...
After He Yu was completely awake, the cold sweat broke down. He shouted in panic, "Xie Qingcheng...!!"
"I'm here."
Not expecting a response, He Yu turned his head abruptly and found that Xie Qingcheng hadn't left yet.
The man was sitting by the window reading, and when he heard him wake up, he raised his eyes and closed the book.
"Xie Qingcheng, you..."
"Lie down, don't sit up."
He Yu was not so obedient, he still sat up with his body up. During the process, he saw that his arm had been wrapped and put on new gauze. The very careful and perfect dressing method belonged to Xie Qingcheng.
"..." He Yu lowered his eyelashes.
What happened last night...
For the first time, he completely lost his mind when he fell ill, and even nearly ended the life of Xie Qingcheng, who was by his side.
Slowly, tremblingly, he raised his hand, staring at the palm of his own.
The later symptoms of psychiatric Ebola... just as scary, aren't they
When you wake up, you may find the body of your loved one lying beside you...
He Yumen asked in his heart that he had hardly ever been afraid of anything in his life.
At the moment, he trembled inwardly.
Xie Qingcheng came over: "He Yu, you—"
"Don't come near me!!" He Yu said sharply.
A chaotic light flickered in him, and after a moment, he tried to calm himself down.
But he really didn't want to let Xie Qingcheng get close to him again.
"Don't come near me..." He Yu raised his hand, buried his face in his palm, and murmured softly.
Xie Qingcheng stared at him for a moment and said, "He Yu, calm down. I didn't think about what to do with you."
"… "
"Just one thing I want you to talk about."
"… talk about… what?"
"Your condition."
"..." He Yu was unwilling to let Xie Qingcheng see a doctor for him. After what happened last night, he could only wish that Xie Qingcheng disappeared immediately.
He said: "You don't have to worry about it... My illness is nothing, it's just a severe attack for a few days, I-"
Before he could finish speaking, he was interrupted by Xie Qingcheng: "He Yu, I heard that you once fell from a building because of your illness."
silence.
"You don't need me to hide anything, I already know."
Another long silence.
After a long time, He Yu finally asked hoarsely, "Did... the housekeeper told you?"
"Yes." Xie Qingcheng said, "If I hadn't sent you back today, I wouldn't have known about it."
But this "discovery" was too late for He Yu.
He Yu had also thought about it, if Xie Qingcheng could see his sincerity and treat him a little bit, that would be great.
Now he is afraid.
The chaos in the car last night seemed to be ahead. Who is not afraid of killing the person he loves the most with his own hands unconsciously
So in the long silence, He Yu decided.
He had to try his best to distance himself from Xie Qingcheng.
"... You... know what to do." He finally opened his mouth and murmured, with some insincere coldness in his voice.
"Xie Qingcheng, have you ever thought about it, what can you do if you know it?"
He Yu said, his brows gradually got a bit of ridicule: "...you didn't even want to look at me at that time. I sent you a message, and you never got back to me. Now I want to mention something. What? It's been so long. It's pointless."
Xie Qingcheng: "...I thought at that time that what you said was not the truth."
"It doesn't matter." He Yu's forehead drooped, "I'm used to it. I'm a liar among you."
Xie Qingcheng paused for a while: "... I'm sorry."
"… "
"I misunderstood you."
"..." He Yushang did not waver, but his heart trembled silently.
Xie Qing presented him to say sorry.
He had... almost never heard Xie Qingcheng say three words to him before. If the three words could come sooner... Maybe he wouldn't be crazy.
"He Yu, you can't go any further." Xie Qingcheng said to He Yu after being silent for a long time, "Your spirit is already very difficult to be relieved by 'drugs', and the abuse of special 'drugs' will make you Your "drug resistance" has become more and more resistant - although I have not met your current attending physician, but in this case, he should have warned you, and I hope you can listen to his words."
"… "
He Yu endured the throbbing in his heart, and after a long silence, he whispered: "Doctor Xie, you see, you know, I have a new attending physician now."
"So you should understand that some things, you have no relationship."
"… "
"I used to... I really hope you can come back. I begged you so humbly, I cried out to you over and over, but you said..." He Yu sneered, her voice a little hoarse, "You think I'm lying to you."
"If that's the case, why are you coming back to take care of me now? Do you think I'm pitiful? It's really not necessary. I have a doctor. His medical skills are no worse than yours."
"I don't think that doctor has poor medical skills, but there are few people who have done more research on mental Ebola than me." Xie Qingcheng said, "He Yu, do you know how serious your situation is now? I don't know anything about it. It’s okay to see it, I saw it, you want me to ignore it completely, do you think I can do it?”
He Yu was quiet for a while, his figure reflected on the white wall behind him: "With what I know about you. I don't think there is anything you can't do."
"… "
"Xie Qingcheng, you have also said that you are a person who has many tasks to complete, and I am just a small accident of yours. For example, in the Qin Ciyan incident, I was the first to be abandoned by you. burden."
"Can you stop changing my words?" Xie Qingcheng anxiously wanted to "touch" the cigarette again, "I never said you were a burden."
"But that's what you did. Your actions have shown that you are treating me as a burden."
Xie Qingcheng endured not to smoke, but he couldn't help pressing the lighter to make a snapping sound. Finally, he threw the lighter and looked up at him: "...Do you want me to discuss it?"
"Then I'll tell you frankly today. Please listen to He Yu. On your eighth birthday, I came to your house and promised to be your doctor. At that time, I didn't treat you as a burden. No doctor would Treat the patient as a burden. But in me at that time, although you were not a burden, you were just a slightly special patient, and I really did not have a passionate connection with you."
"Later something happened to Lao Qin, you were the first thing I gave up... But I once said it very clearly, you should know that it was a last resort, not that I felt relieved after letting go and felt that it was difficult to get rid of something. A tangled baggage."
When Xie Qingcheng said that, he seemed to think of those things at that time again, thinking of the difficult and desperate situation, and his eyes were slightly reddened.
"He Yu, like what you said in the reservoir, I still can't make you understand why I put you down at that time. If you still can't understand, it's not worthy of my own interest for me to choose to leave. You still think I let go of it with joy and relief—"
Xie Qingcheng paused, then closed his eyes.
"Then maybe the truth I told you was all in vain. There's nothing I can do to relieve you. I'm sorry."
He Yu's heart ached, he knew that he had said the wrong thing under deliberate refusal.
Xie Qingcheng is a very strong man, but Xie Qingcheng's weakness is his compassion and his compassion for the patients. His words are undoubtedly slashing a knife in his heart and smearing salt on his scar.
He Yu was very uncomfortable. Didn't he understand that Xie Qingcheng was someone who cared about his patients
No, he actually understood at the time. He knew that Xie Qingcheng left him with some guilt and regret, otherwise He Yu would not change his views on Xie Qingcheng after being trapped in the reservoir.
It's just that if he doesn't hurt Xie Qingcheng verbally, he might hurt him physically.
So he thought, let's go.
Xie Qingcheng.
move.
That kind of out of control came up again, and he was afraid that he would not be able to control it.
Now he just wants to end the dialogue as soon as possible and drive Xie Qingcheng away.
He Yu was full of bloodshots, so he had no choice but to keep stabbing Xie Qingcheng in Xie Qingcheng's heart as well as in his own. He said, "...even if I wasn't a burden to you before, I am now."
"… "
"I know that after the incident in the clubhouse, you always resisted and rejected me. Otherwise, if I asked you for help at the time, you wouldn't say a word to me."
Xie Qing was silent.
"Go back, Xie Qingcheng."
"We are both victims of rn-13. I will accompany you to investigate the things that should be investigated. Even if you don't ask me at all, I will not change my actions. You don't have to worry."
"… "
"Go back." He Yu said. "I want to sleep a little longer."
Xie Qingcheng lifted it up, but did not go, but took a few steps forward and came to He Yu's bed.
"I don't want to deny it, I have really resisted you."
Xie Qingcheng finally opened his mouth, his tone was firm and frank, and because his emotions were so clean, he also had some calming power, "I clearly remember what you did in the Kongye Club. ."
"but-"
After a pause, the conversation changed.
"He Yu, I haven't forgotten what you did in the archives."
"I haven't forgotten what choices you made in the reservoir when the water came up."
"I also remember that you were the last surviving mental Ebola sufferer in the country. You are suffering from something I have suffered, and I can't see as I can't."
"He Yu, I haven't forgotten that you were my patient."
"I haven't forgotten that you are the one I haven't healed and can't accompany anymore."
"… "
He Yu listened to some words, and the discomfort in his heart reached the extreme.
Xie Qing presented the reasons for his renewed heart, but it was still not out of personal affection.
For the current He Yu, it is actually more hurtful than "I don't want to worry about you".
He Yu really couldn't control it, he felt that the madness that had not been completely suppressed was rising again, and his longing for Xie Qingcheng was so eager that he wanted to be turned into powder for the death of the same family. .
He turned his face away abruptly, his hands trembled slightly, and his eyes flushed.
He was a precursor to a second illness, a particularly dangerous situation, and he wanted to hide it, but he couldn't hide it.
He gritted his teeth and said in a low voice, "Go away... Go away!!"
All his anomalies fell into Xie Qing's submission.
Of course Xie Qingcheng couldn't let him go out of control, but instead he stared at him and asked him, "He Yu, can't you tell me what's on your mind? You already know how serious your situation is. Now, why are you still suppressing yourself?!"
"I have nothing on my mind! Don't you "force" me to succeed!"
He Yu's situation was getting out of control, he didn't know it, but Xie Qingcheng looked inside and could see that his eyes were getting redder and redder, as if even his pupils had become the "color" of blood.
"You don't understand me at all, Xie Qingcheng, you don't understand at all... If I get sick in the future, you will show me in front of me without seeing it, understand? I don't want to see you! Seeing you will only make me upset! Go back! Go back to me! Get out of here!!"
"... I don't care about you, you fell from a building. I care about you, but you think I'm upset." Xie Qingcheng stared at his face, "I just want to know the reason, why are you so wrong?" Can't do it?!"
"No." He Yu said with a pale face, "There is no reason."
It couldn't have been more obvious.
"..." Xie Qingcheng was silent for a long time, and even the people of his character felt a little fire in his heart.
"He Yu, I have the matter. I have your fall, your illness, and your out-of-control emotions."
"I wonder why, because it's not just about you personally."
"… "
The giant beast in He Yu's heart was slamming against the door, and it was full of tremors and buzzing in his ears.
Xie Qingcheng was "forcing" him.
He couldn't find any reason to prevaricate him, he just wanted him to leave immediately.
He was about to collapse, and he said to Xie Qing again: "I don't want to say... you go. I beg you, don't ask any more."
"Did you let me go, Xie Qingcheng? Did you let me go... "
you go.
Don't confuse me to shed my skin and meet you with a terrifying truth.
you go.
Don't ask for another answer, then scold me after knowing the answer, think I'm crazy.
you go.
you... go...
In the entanglement and entanglement, He Yu's condition is getting worse and worse.
Xie Qingcheng looked at his trembling fingers, looked at his loose hair, and looked at him in a mess.
Xie Qingcheng suddenly felt as if his heart had been stabbed by a needle. The needle swam to the place in his heart that belonged to He Yu, and began to pierce him, making him blame, suffocate him, and make him bleed.
Let him see his cruelty and his failure.
The party was bleak, and the film was silent.
Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes and finally said hoarsely: "..."
"If you really don't want to say it, then I won't ask."
"I'm not forcing you. No more 'forcing' you."
"But, He Yu... I'm going out the door today. I think we won't have to see each other again in the future, okay?"
He Yu suddenly froze.
When Xie Qingcheng opened his eyes, his eyes were also red: "It's not that I blame you, or that I hate you. It's that both as a doctor and as a person, I feel that the relationship between me and you is handled. , it's really a mess."
"The two of us have come this far. The wrong person is actually me, because I am thirteen years older than you. I am in the department, and I am an elder and a leader. I have to take the biggest part of your responsibility. Responsibility, unfortunately, I have not been able to lead you on the path I originally hoped for."
Xie Qingcheng paused: "I once said that I spent seven years on you, and you finally became what you are now, which makes me feel like I have fed the dog for seven years. I said at that time, I was very disappointed in you. ."
"But today I want to tell you... that my disappointment is not just for you, it's for me."
"He Yu, I think I have failed very much."
He Yu: "… "
"Also a mental Ebola patient, Qin Ciyan saved me, but I can't save you. I still don't know what went wrong."
"Maybe I shouldn't see you again after you return to China. Maybe I misjudged your condition and shouldn't let you go by yourself. Maybe I didn't make the right judgment from the beginning, and I shouldn't have promised you. At the request of your parents, stay at your house to take care of you."
When he spoke, everyone was silent for a while. All seem to be reminiscing about those old days.
Xie Qingcheng: "I really want to know where I am wrong. I think you know the answer in your heart."
"But you don't want to tell me."
"Even if you're so sick. You don't want to talk to me again, you don't want to complain to me anymore. I made it impossible for a patient to tell the truth." He looked at him quietly, "and I Your presence, my presence, will even aggravate your condition."
"He Yu... I used to be a doctor, I used to be your doctor, I think I screwed everything up. I couldn't be Qin Ciyan's "medicine" that could save people, but in the end it became a patient's injury."
When Xie Qingcheng said something, he was sitting beside He Yu's bed.
His eyelashes were hanging like ink, his expression was cold and calm, and he calmly said some thoughts that He Yu had never said before.
"I did fail."
"… "
"I'm sorry, He Yu, you met me, not Lao Qin's doctor."
"I've never been able to be like him."
"…I can't change anything. I can't save you either."
He said, stopped, and looked at He Yu's face, but it seemed that through He Yu, he saw the young dragon he met for the first time twelve years ago.
Xie Qingcheng's voice was low and tired, with a sigh that could not be hidden.
"When I met you that year, you were just a child... Thinking about it carefully, it was actually me who kept you from meeting you. It's because I didn't become a qualified elder."
"Little devil, I'm sorry for these years."
In the bedroom, there was a long silence.
It's over...
Since there is no way to solve the problems between them, continue, but every step is wrong.
Time to end.
Xie Qingcheng finished saying everything he wanted to say, got up, closed the blushing, and finally left as He Yu wished.
snapping sound.
The hand was suddenly held.
The young man was holding his wrist, his fingers were trembling slightly, after a while, a drop of warm water fell on the back of Xie Qingcheng's hand, which was held tightly by the young man.
Xie Qingcheng was stunned, turned around, and set his eyes on He Yu.
The young man lowered his head, his scattered forehead hair hanging down in front, making it difficult to see his eyebrows, but Xie Qingcheng knew that He Yu was crying.
Then, before he recovered, he was dragged by He Yu and sat down again, and then the young man's hand was raised and suddenly wrapped around his head, while weeping, he leaned heavily toward it—
He kissed his cool lips.
He Yu's lips were trembling slightly, crying sadly, and wanted to hold on, but couldn't hold it any longer.
His heart seemed to be pierced through a hole by Xie Qingcheng's heartfelt words just now, and the embankment of a thousand miles collapsed due to a little bit of broken marks.
He hugged him, kissed him, stroked Xie Qingcheng's hair, and then pressed his forehead against him, against the man's forehead.
The man who did everything he could, was "forced" into a corner and told his true heart - he said, I'm sorry, kid, I feel like I've failed quite a bit.
"Xie Qingcheng... You don't have to... You don't have to go to yourself..." He Yu choked and said, he tried his best to suppress the trembling in his voice, trying his best to prevent Xie Qingcheng from reaching his broken heart.
He leaned against his forehead and whispered, "You don't have to fail yourself, Doctor Xie. You did nothing wrong. You never did anything wrong."
"You don't want me to say sorry... I'm hiding it from you... I don't tell you anything, not because you're a failed doctor... but... "
"But..."
Tears fell, and He Yu's voice was broken. He paused for a while, and then seemed to have used up all his strength, his words quivered, his words trembled, and the sincere words were finally forced out—
"It's because I love you!"
"…!!"
"Yes. Xie Qingcheng..." He Yu's shoulders trembled, tears pouring down, "I love you... It's all because I love you... I'm fucking in love with you, I'm fucking in love with you, you Do you understand? Do you understand?!"
It was painful, so I dug out the rubble of my broken heart for the sake of comforting the person in front of me if I knew it was impossible to get a response, and held it up naked.
Even if you know that what you have been met is categorical rejection, disgust, or even ridicule.
But he finally gave some words of the boy's blood and the boy's tears, and only hoped to warm the cold lips and palms of a man.
He Yu hugged him, and after all burst into tears: "Because I like you, Xie Qingcheng, I like you, I really fell in love with you, I miss you, I want to kiss you, hug you, want you, I want to do everything to you that you can't accept... Private isn't it? But I can't control it. I can't control it no matter what."
"I can't help thinking about you..."
"Xie Qingcheng, Doctor Xie."
"Don't think I'm sick. Don't think I lie, I really love you. I'm also really trying not to love you, so I see you get irritable, crazy, out of control. Don't blame you You... don't be sad... you have never done anything wrong, it was me... it was me who didn't... it was me who was going to bleed and moth to the light..."
As the boy spoke, his voice gradually fell out of tune, and his hands clung to the man in his arms, who had stiffened from extreme astonishment.
He cried red and said hoarsely: "I know... I know you don't like me... I also feel very humiliated, I also feel very disrespectful, and I also feel wrong, but I still love you."
"I wanted to quit it, but I didn't."
"I still can't do it now - you and me. Xie Qingcheng, you can talk to me."
"Because I'm really crazy. I fucking know the ending, and I still want to go to the end. So embarrassed and bruised, I still want to hug you."
"I... I don't have any good points... but I still dare to like you."
"But I just can't help liking you. Xie Qingcheng."
"I have no "medicine" to like you..."
"I'm in the dust, but I still like the snow in the sky... I did it wrong, not you..."
"I'm sorry... I'm not good enough, but I still love you... "
"Loving you hurts... Xie Qingcheng... Loving you hurts... I can't get it... I know I have to let go... but I'm still... still loving you every day... "
He Yu hugged him, every word said so genuinely, yet trembled so violently.
He cried and dug out his riddled love, and finally held it in front of him, humble, arrogant, embarrassed, firm - held it to him.
Look at the red/"naked" "naked", the heart belongs to the young man.
Look at the deeply ill, heart that belongs to He Yu.
He Yu choked and said:
"Xie Qingcheng, what should I do. Help me...you help me...I can't change anymore...I can't get out anymore...Xie Qingcheng...I'm sorry..."
"I'm really...really...really..." The eloquent man stammered.
A person who is skillful, but clumsy enough to not know what to say.
He burst into tears, dug out his heart, cut open his soul, and gave the precious things he had to his brother Xie, Dr. Xie, and Xie Qingcheng.
He whimpered, "Brother..."
"I really... really love you!"
Knowing that, hugging him is like hugging snow, kissing him is like kissing frost, loving him is like drinking poison, and you can't ask for heartbroken.
But still clinging to "fascinated", want to continue to love.
…
Xie Qingcheng, loving you hurts.
I know, I know it all.
But... But my whole person, my whole heart...
But still for a moment non-stop, prefer to-
love you.