The next day, Xie Qing presented himself to the hospital and returned to the dormitory.
Although Chen Shan was with him, he didn't talk much all the time, and it seemed that something was wrong.
When they parted, Chen Slow stood downstairs in Xie Qingcheng's dormitory and called out hesitantly, "Brother Xie..."
Xie Qingcheng: "…"
But meeting Xie Qingcheng's sharp eyes, Chen Slow finally murmured: "You...you have a good rest. If you have anything, you can come to me at any time."
Xie Qingcheng felt that Chen Wan's emotions were strange, but he did not think in the direction of Chen Wan's horror that he might have a crush on him. He felt that Chen Wan probably couldn't accept his one-night stand. This reason was really lame, but Xie Qingcheng couldn't think of any more reasonable explanation besides using it to kill Chen Wan.
He was a dignified seven-foot man, and it was impossible to admit that he was slept by a boy thirteen years younger than him.
For Xie Qingcheng, this matter is that a dumb person eats Coptis chinensis, and he can't tell the bitterness.
Xie Qing was quiet for a moment and said, "Let's go, thank you."
He is going upstairs.
Chen Slow stood in the rain holding an umbrella, and said again, "Brother Xie."
"… "
"No, it's fine, you need to rest."
"… what do you want to say in the end."
Chen slow bit his lip and held it for a while, before he asked, "Are you still in touch with that girl?"
Xie Qingcheng paused: "Will you have contact with the one-night stand partner?"
"I...I don't do this kind of thing..."
But when he said the words, he felt as if he was condemning Xie Qingcheng for not keeping his morality, so he quickly waved his hand: "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant either."
"You really shouldn't do this kind of thing." Xie Qingcheng said indifferently, "I am also regretting it on the spur of the moment."
Chen slowly looked at him.
Xie Qingcheng: "I won't in the future. I feel sick."
After he finished speaking, he went upstairs. Chen Slow's face was pale until he heard Xie Qingcheng's last two sentences, and finally turned bloody.
After a whole week, Xie Qing was in a state of ill health and finally passed away, but the hickeys on his body have not completely disappeared. When he was lecturing and writing on the blackboard in school, he should pay more attention to whether the cuffs were pulled tightly, because there is still a faint light on his wrist. Le print.
That was evidence of wanton intrusion with bound hands.
Xie Qingcheng did not contact He Yu anymore. He Yu dragged him down, and he directly deleted He Yu. Both Medical University and Shanghai University are century-old schools that take a long time to drive around the campus. If you really want to be right It's actually easier than ever to avoid someone.
It was a nightmare, he thought.
Don't look back.
There are many helpless and hateful things in this world. In the end, there is often no satisfactory explanation. No matter how disgusting it is, sometimes as long as you can get rid of the whole body, it is already the most commendable result.
Xie Qingcheng has experienced a lot, and it is not that he does not understand this truth.
But in the middle of the night, I still wake up often. The illness was cured, the fever subsided, and even those wounds were slowly healing, but Xie Qingcheng's heart that was originally resistant to lust became more morbid.
He repeatedly dreamed uncontrollably about He Yu's face shrouded in hatred and desire, dreaming of what they had done, and then abruptly sat up from the bed, where no one could see, Xie Qingcheng finally His face showed panic and fragility, he was breathing heavily, buried his face in his palms, and his shirt was wet with sweat.
He lit cigarette after cigarette and even took sleeping pills to fall asleep.
When he was taking a bath one day, he saw that the traces of tossing had finally disappeared, as if nothing had happened, but he did not have any relaxed expression—
He knew that he was branded with gangrene, and the fear and disgust of the bed was growing stronger and stronger. His memory kept stabbing him, reminding him that he had lost his temper in front of He Yu, and in that way he had vented his suppressed desires that he didn't even have.
He had screamed, trembled, lost his temper, and these memories, like welts, stung him, humiliated him, tortured him.
He had to turn on the computer, click on the video of the sea moon jellyfish, and watch the floating ancient life, trying to divert his attention elsewhere.
He thought, he couldn't just go down like this.
.
a few days later.
He house.
"you're back."
"…Ok."
The He family was rarely brightly lit, and the warm light made He Yu frown when he walked into the hall, like a vampire who was accustomed to being deserted. The quietness and darkness of the ancient castle was what he was familiar with.
Lu Zhishu and He Jiwei were both there.
After He Yu and Xie Qingcheng had done it, they went back to the villa once, and that day they followed Xie Qingcheng to the hospital, but found that they had nothing to do.
At that time, he felt uncomfortable and very empty. He had just been soaked by the extreme stimulation at that time, and suddenly he was alone again. He couldn't help feeling empty, and he returned to the main house in a state of dismay.
But he left the next day, and he never came back. until today.
Although He Yu knew that his parents would return to Shanghai in the near future, he originally thought that they would not stay for a long time.
Unexpectedly, when he returned home again, Lu Zhishu and He Jiwei were still there. He was not used to this kind of reception, so looking at the scene in front of him, his first reaction turned out to be, "This may also be fake, he imagined it."
But he immediately realized that he had never imagined that his parents would come back and have a good dinner with him.
None of them had appeared in his delusions.
"Is it cold outside? Mom made soup for you, morels, abalone, and four things soup..."
"Mom." He Yujing paused for a while, the words that humans first learned seemed a bit jerky to him, "I'm allergic to this seafood."
The hall suddenly became quiet.
Lu Zhishu was a little embarrassed and glanced at He Jiwei.
He Jiwei coughed: "It's alright, eat something else, I have someone make you boiled cabbage, the soup that has been hanging for a long time, you used to like it the most."
Although He Jiwei doesn't get along with He Yu very much, he is at least more reliable than Lu Zhishu. He knows what He Yu likes.
He Yu couldn't say anything else, and the three of them sat down at the table together.
The atmosphere became more rigid for a while.
He Yu couldn't remember the last time their family of three sat like this, it's been too long. He looked at the faces of He Jiwei and Lu Zhishu, and they were even strangers.
To him, parents seem more like those two avatars in WeChat contacts, those flat voices.
"When are you going to return to Yanzhou?" He Yu asked.
"No hurry." Lu Zhishu said immediately, with a sweet smile on his fat face, because the pile was too full, and even a little shaky, "Your brother is also living on campus now, we don't need to watch. Not to mention He Yu. , you're scaring your mother to death, don't do such dangerous things again, in case you have troubles, then we—"
She didn't say anything, she seemed to be choked up.
He Yu watched with cold eyes. After the TV Tower incident, his heart was no longer the same as before, it became very cold and hard.
But he was too lazy to talk nonsense with them, and finally smiled lightly: "It's okay. I'm fine now."
There was a chat at the dining table, and the picture seemed warm, but in fact it was dark and turbulent.
"I'm done eating, can I go upstairs first?"
"Ah, good. Go, go." Although Lu Zhishu was made uncomfortable by He Yu, she was a businessman through and through, and she could even treat her son as Pili Yangqiu, "Have a good rest, Mom tomorrow. Can I make chicken soup for you?"
"... Whatever." He Yu said indifferently, leaving the table and going upstairs.
Lu Zhishu watched his back disappear into the depths of the upstairs corridor with complicated eyes.
He Jiwei: "Why are you being so nice to him all of a sudden. Don't talk about him, even I'm not used to it."
Lu Zhishu: "What's wrong with my son? That's not a matter of course, I'm his mother..."
He Jiwei hesitated to speak, but finally got up: "I have something to do with my company. I have to go to Qingdao tomorrow."
"Then when are you coming back? I told you, I've thought about it, I owe him too much before, I have to compensate him well, and you don't go out for too long. It's work, where is it important to have children... "
He Jiwei sighed: "...It's very memorable to say this from your mouth."
"… "
"Like you told me when you were pregnant with him." He Jiwei smiled, his eyes were deep, and he seemed a little sad, "I haven't heard it for a long time."
Lu Zhishu: "Lao He..."
He Jiwei had already turned away.
He Yu was lying on the bed in the bedroom, and his eyes were a little scattered after he didn't have to talk to Lu Zhi about He Jiwei's hypocrisy.
He looked at the ceiling, just like in the past week, when he was alone in a daze, he would take care of the previous things.
"Boom-boom-boom-"
Unexpectedly, the grand clock of the old house rang again.
One after another, a dull and deep percussion struck his heart, just like every lonely night, like the thirteenth birthday night where he stood for a long time and couldn't wait for even a single person to accompany him.
Thinking of that birthday night, he couldn't help thinking of Xie Xue again.
Not only had his parents never cared much about him, but even Xie Xue was only a part of his imagination in extreme loneliness and extreme morbidity. She was real, but not completely real, and learned the truth. , his feelings for Xie Xue became very complicated.
In fact, everything has been expected, is not it
He always felt that Xie Xue had a bad memory before, and he still remembered some things clearly, but she said that he had no impression.
He also told her at that time, I really don't know how your memory was admitted to the university.
He never doubted that those things might be the flowers in the mirror, the moon in the water, it was a fantasy in his mind.
That "she" doesn't exist, it's not entirely real.
Even his subconscious knew that he was carrying out self-protection and self-deception.
He used to write homework for a class, about a boy with seven souls. After the boy's death, the soul knocked on the teacher's door. He sat down to eat snacks and drink ginger tea... However, when the teacher woke up the next day, there were not a few biscuits on the table, and the heart-warming ginger tea was frozen into ice.
The boy never came, it was fake, a ghost that didn't exist.
His brain can make up such a story, isn't it projecting his own imagination of Xie Xue
A cookie that has never been touched in the story, a birthday cake that has never existed outside the story.
In the story, there is a heart-warming ginger tea that has been frozen into ice, but outside the story is a heart that is so cold that it is too hard to beat.
His subconscious is not ignorant.
Even, looking back carefully now, from the perspective of a dreamer, he can distinguish between dreams and reality.
When he was in a dream, he could wake up without distinction, but once he opened his eyes, he could know which ones were real and which ones were fake.
Just like what Xie Qingcheng said, Xie Xue is really kind to him, but that kind of goodness is not unique or borderless. She regards him as a close friend, but she has many friends, not just He Yu.
He was never special.
This is the truth that excites Xie Xue even more than he likes others - his emotional support is actually just a phantom.
Even liking this kind of feeling that is normal for ordinary people has become a luxury when it comes to him.
He Yu thought randomly, but he hadn't had a good rest for a long time, Xie Qingcheng had a painful week, and he wasn't feeling any better. Human flesh/body simply cannot accept such high-intensity continuous stimulation, and despite being in a chaotic mood, he took a few pills, slowly closed his eyes, and fell into his first deep sleep after the night in the clubhouse.
That night, He Yu had a dream.
He dreamed of a pair of fallen peach blossom eyes, because these eyes had lured him into the peach blossom garden countless times before, he thought it was Xie Xue at first.
He thought he was fantasizing again, and those weak hopes in his heart turned into Xie Xue's appearance to comfort me.
But the dream gradually became clear, and he suddenly realized that those eyes were not a pair of smiling eyes.
But cold, sharp, hateful, resolute.
With some embarrassment and helplessness.
He suddenly realized that it was the eyes of Xie Qingcheng, who had been poured 59 degrees of plum in the box.
Dreams are born of consciousness, and after understanding, everything in his dreams begins to materialize.
Once again, he saw Xie Qingcheng's body sinking deep into the black top-layer soft leather sofa, with pale skin, like a spar placed on the cushion of a black velvet treasure box, almost transparent.
The placket of the shirt, which was originally clean, was soaked with red wine, and the fabric was close to the skin, outlining the firm chest muscles, and the chest undulating.
Xie Qingcheng was tortured very embarrassedly by him, and his whole body seemed to be salvaged from the water, covered in sweat. That tight line, pure yang, fierce, fire-like body... struggling in the wet water.
The medicinal properties continued to entangle him for a moment, Xie Qingcheng couldn't take it anymore, he raised his neck unbearably, leaned his hands on the sofa, trying to grab something, his wrists were exposed, and there was a line of slender words on his left wrist—
Hereliesonewhosenawaswrittenwater
He Yu saw that line of words from the real to the blurry, and in the end, he couldn't see anything clearly. He only felt that the words were like a spell, and they were taken out of the body, so he went forward in a fascination...
Xie Qingcheng grabbed his hand.
The peach blossom eye has become a peach blossom miasma.
That emotional, hoarse cry, which He Yu had never heard before, sounded again in his dream.
Then he gasped for breath, his brows and eyes were blurred, the blue veins on his neck were trembling like a snake, almost turning into a demon.
Nightmare to the point that there is not even bone blood left.
When He Yu woke up, he was still panting violently.
The watch on his wrist was dormant coldly, quelling his sweaty arm. He Yu was lying on the big walnut bed in the villa, and the smell of grass and trees unique to the mat was rushing into his breath.
The sky outside the window slightly burst into a line of crab blue, not even the buds of light. It was still early, after four o'clock in the morning, the servants in the villa were sleeping soundly. The sweat on the back is cold, and the person is cold.
With a thin autumn blanket around his waist, he stared at the ceiling inlaid with brass linings like bronze mirrors that he could see himself while lying on the bed.
He Yu's Adam's apple rolled, and his eyes did not blink, as if a body had just been spit out by a nightmare.
But the body will not have desire to boil, and the young man knows that under the thin blanket covers his unresolved scorching debts, which is overdue from Lu Liguang's strange dream to reality.
Desperate for some squishy, warm comfort.
The tips of his fingers moved slightly on the bed, thinking he was crazy.
How could you dream of Xie Qingcheng that night
He slept with Xie Qingcheng at that time, and thought he had no passion or desire, he just knew that this method would make Xie Qingcheng lose face the most, but he was crazy at that time, he had no reason to speak, he would rather follow When he fell into the quagmire, he had to wrap Xie Qing in mud and see him in a daze.
He originally planned to use the crazy revenge caused by alcohol to put a stop to the relationship between the two.
He even blackmailed Xie Qingcheng's Wechat like a scumbag after that night, and he didn't plan to contact him again.
But why did he dream of Xie Qingcheng again, the hoarse cry that made his waist numb? He's not gay, how could he get into it
He Yu closed his eyes and raised his hand to cover his forehead. The more he was reluctant to get close to which memory, which memory came up reluctantly, the desire hidden under the thin blanket was stimulated, and he began to tell him what the original nature was.
He endured.
Sweat leaked out little by little, and his breathing became cloudy and heavy. He tried his best to avoid this male instinct that he hated, but he was still slaughtered to the ground.
He was originally bloodthirsty, but that night he was addicted to male/lust.
Before that, he had never kissed anyone, never hugged anyone, and never went deep into Wenrou Township or sipped the burning love water.
It is very dangerous for a virgin in his twenties to open meat. At this time, the boys are at their peak physical strength, curious and heavy, and have a lot of free time. There are so many hotels near the university town that can explain the problem. Although He Yu was special in many places, he was indeed only a nineteen-year-old boy. He couldn't resist this human desire to be seduced by poisonous snakes from the Garden of Eden.
The boys have eaten, eaten, and-
It is inevitable to think.
Inevitably want.
In the end, he couldn't stand this kind of stimulation, and abruptly lifted the thin blanket and grabbed the phone roughly.
There is a small click when the screen is unlocked.
Through the ears, but like a drum.
He Yu stiffened for a long time before moving his fingers stiffly, and in the midst of fierce self-struggle, he clicked on the album.
The album saves a few photos of Xie Qingcheng's sleeping bed that he took. He looked at the screen, and his dream instantly overlapped with reality.
The details of the photo are clear, even the light hickey on Xie Qingcheng's collarbone can be seen. He Yu instantly remembered the fiery heat when the two of them were lingering, and the sticky voice of the lips and tongues seemed to ring in his ears.
These photos He Yu never opened and browsed after he left the club that day.
He didn't want to still have some desire for Xie Qingcheng after ending the relationship, so he didn't look at it again.
However, at this time, he didn't know what kind of weird thoughts he had. He had opened the encrypted file that was heavily protected. On the big bed of the villa with blackout curtains, He Yu held up his mobile phone, as if he was suddenly thrown down by something heavy, and he was so crushed. Breathless in his chest, the hot and humid image pressed him to the table, tearing apart his masculine nature.
In the picture, Xie Qingcheng is not wearing an inch, his forehead is messy, and there are bruises on the corners of his mouth, which were bitten by He Yu when they kissed...
With just one glance, He Yu closed his eyes abruptly and turned off his cell phone.
The hot sweat of the young man instantly dripped all over...
He's crazy
…
Heart pounding.
The dance was getting more and more ridiculous, and he was getting sicker.
Crazy...he's not gay!
Yes, he must have not slept well, was sick again, and was crazy.
He Yu lost his phone, got out of bed with a sullen face, and walked into the bathroom with his bare feet full of heat. The sound of cold water kept ringing, and it took him half an hour to come out.
After he came out, he logged out of his phone from the photo page, lay on the bed with wet forehead and swiped on social networking sites for a while, trying to distract himself as soon as possible.
The Internet at night is not lonely, and the sleepless people are still releasing the fireworks of their souls on it.
He Yu swiped for a while, and found that he subconsciously searched for the word "Xie Qingcheng" in the search bar at some point.
"… "
People sometimes do this when they are empty. They will subconsciously scribble the names that echo in their minds in their notebooks, and the same is true of typing.
But for He Yu to enter Xie Qingcheng's name unconsciously, it was still unacceptable, and he felt that it was really evil.
He Yu came back to his senses and wanted to quit, but before quitting, he suddenly noticed a message.