Today is the last day before the crew is disbanded.
Xie Qingcheng packed his things in the room.
Halfway through packing, a greeting card suddenly fell out of the sundries.
He picked it up and looked at it. There was a blessing written on the card. He remembered that it was given to him by the promotional girl on the first day he joined the group.
The little girl is about the same age as Xie Xue, and she is very innocent and kind. Xie Qingcheng came to the crew with the black history of the radio and television tower, and she did not treat him differently.
But now her whereabouts are unknown, and her life and death are unknown.
There is another missing little girl. Although she has little contact with Xie Qingcheng, she can feel her sincerity when dealing with people.
Xie Qingcheng sat down with the greeting card and looked at the snow outside the window—
Jiang Lanpei, Lu Yuzhu, these two innocently implicated girls... Although it is not certain whether the mastermind behind the scenes is the same criminal gang, but this year, he has experienced too much life and death.
Xie Qingcheng is a very cold-hearted person. In order to overcome mental illness, he almost cut off all his emotional ups and downs. He cherishes life, but he has lost the right to mourn for the loss of life, and even loss is too heavy for him.
But now, perhaps because of the secret that only he has kept alone for a long time, he was finally resorted to another person at the juncture of life and death. Although Xie Qingcheng didn't want to admit it so much, his mood at the moment seemed to be slightly different from before. Again.
There seemed to be thick ink in his heart, and when one person knew the truth, it was like pouring another glass of water into the pool of ink.
The darkness is still not over.
The density seems to be diluted a bit.
Let him finally regain a little breathing ability.
Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes and asked himself these days, he did feel his emotional loosening, which made him vaguely regret it.
Yes, what He Yu said was cruel, but everything was true - after he shared this secret with He Yu, he and that kid, they really couldn't go back to the previous relationship logically, they only Afraid to be completely entangled.
Xie Qingcheng sighed and found it difficult to calm down. At this time, things were almost packed, and the clock pointed to more than ten o'clock in the evening, but unfortunately he couldn't sleep.
So he opened a bottle of red wine for himself, which was a gift from others when he joined the group. He originally planned to bring it back, but now that he thinks about it, it would be better to drink a little reassuring.
The wine is good wine, the mouth is sweet, and I drink it myself, but I gradually drink too much.
Although Xie Qingcheng is not bad at drinking, he is intolerant to alcohol, and he loses his strength quickly after drinking a little. Although his brain is still sober, his physical laziness is unavoidable.
The warmth began to melt in his blood. Holding a goblet in one hand, he leaned wearily on the hotel reclining chair. His mood was calm, but there was a bit of depression in that calm.
The more he drank, the warmer his body became. He lowered his slightly red eyes, raised his hand and rubbed his forehead, but when he was about to get up to wash up, he heard the sound of the key card opening the door.
Because he has to cooperate with the police investigation too much in the past two days, he has returned to the crew hotel again.
And the person who has this authority to ask the front desk to open the door with the room card, he is soaked in alcohol and knows who it is.
Xie Qingcheng was impatient after being entangled too much, resentment after telling the truth, and irritability after he couldn't think of a solution for days. He glanced at the person who entered the room with such an emotion, but he probably drank too much red wine, and his eyes were not so sharp, so whether he was impatient or resentful, He Yu didn't even look at it. clear.
He Yu came to ask him when he planned to leave tomorrow, but as soon as he entered the room, he saw a slightly drunk Xie Qingcheng.
Xie Qingcheng was quiet and straightened up, his reddish eyes still clear.
The waist and legs are also very straight.
He looked at him from the hallway.
Then say-
"Please go out."
He Yu was stunned for a moment and understood why Xie Qingcheng was drinking alone in the room.
He looked at him with a complicated expression, then closed the door behind his back.
"Xie Qingcheng, you..."
"I invite you out."
"... Brother Xie, I don't think you need to be so polite to me."
Xie Qingcheng looked at him indifferently, it was not polite, but cold-in fact, he was upset from the very beginning when they escaped from the gate of hell.
But at that time, he hadn't fully recovered, and he didn't know how much he regretted telling He Yu the truth.
After so many days of precipitation, he finally knew exactly what his attitude was. His regret was deeper than that.
- He clarified his heart, and he made sure that he wanted He Yu to understand that whether he was the "first emperor" of a mental Ebola patient or not, whether he told He Yu his secrets or not, it was all death Things that only happen online.
And the Xie Qingcheng who survived must be the Xie Qingcheng who had a clear boundary with He Yu.
He would not change his attitude towards He Yu.
He also had to let He Yu understand this.
"What's wrong with you drinking so much tonight?" Unfortunately, the young man ignored his point and didn't care about his condescending expulsion order.
He Yu approached him, still carrying the cold air from the cold night, with a plastic bag in his hand: "Sit down and talk. I brought you hot cocoa tea."
"..." He was really a child.
Who wants hot cocoa tea
It makes my throat feel tired after drinking it.
Xie Qingcheng walked over with a cold face, put his hand against the wall behind He Yu, with wet eyes under his messy hair: "Go out."
He Yu suddenly reached out and hugged him.
Because the air-conditioning in the house was fully turned on, Xie Qingcheng only wore a thin shirt, the home style, which was still made of silk and satin, through which he could clearly feel the youthful breath.
Xie Qingcheng woke up most of the time, fearing that he would wake up the people in the room left and right, he lowered his voice, his breath was hot due to the alcohol, and his tone was cold: "Are you finished?"
But this time, He Yu didn't do anything to him. To Xie Qingcheng's surprise, He Yu just pushed him to the wall of the entrance, hugged him, lowered his head deeply into his neck and breathed. .
It's not the same as the venting of rushing desires in the past.
Even in the ward, the fiery demands after returning from the critical moment of life and death are different.
After thinking about it for the past few days, he saw Xie Qingcheng privately for the first time, and when he hugged him, it was as if he was hugging a life like himself.
The last person in the world who could empathize with him.
"Tomorrow the crew will disband."
"… "
"Don't worry, I've thought about it. No matter what, I won't tell the second person what you told me."
Although He Yu is young, when he really wants to talk to you seriously, he is actually very reliable. Very stable.
The boy said while hugging the man in his arms.
He felt that Xie Qingcheng's body was very strange. He clearly had the blood of a man, his muscles were thin and uniform, and his physique could not be said to be bad.
But when I touch it through the clothes, I feel that the clothes are too thick and too thin, as thin as smoke, like a soul, and I can't hold it.
It seems that it will disappear anytime, anywhere.
He hugged Xie Qingcheng like this and shook it a few times on the spot, but he had the illusion of tenderness, afraid of losing something—
He Yu closed his eyes, he had already thought a lot before he came. But at this moment, he was thinking about all kinds of things in the past, thinking about the scar on Xie Qingcheng's hand, the secret in his heart, thinking about everything that happened with Xie Qingcheng before, and thinking about the last, he remembered that when the day was over, They are about to leave here and return to Shanghai.
Then Xie Qingcheng would definitely not want to see him again.
His heart suddenly felt a strange tug, as if it was strangled by something, and it was very uncomfortable.
"I will definitely keep the secret for you. But let's talk first. After you go back, don't be alone with Chen slow." He finally whispered in Xie Qingcheng's ear, actually being very good, like a pleading.
Xie Qingcheng pushed him: "Don't go crazy."
"Yeah." He Yu smiled, he was really crazy, because he just said something similar to begging, but now his eyes were dark again, he held Xie Qingcheng's wrist, stroked it down, revealing a Cut light blue tattoo.
here we go again.
Xie Qingcheng felt that he might need a molar stick, otherwise why would he always like to bite himself.
He Yu really bit Xie Qingcheng's tattoo, but this time it was not heavy and there was no bleeding.
He said: "Then you can be alone with him, don't let me meet. You are my kind, don't get too close to others."
"After thinking about it for the past few days, you came up with this way of getting along?"
He Yu: "This is my bottom line."
Xie Qingcheng jerked his hand away, took out a disinfectant wipe, wiped his wrist in front of He Yu, and then threw the wipe directly on He Yu's face.
"roll."
He Yu hugged him even harder.
He buried his face in Xie Qingcheng's neck and rubbed the tip of his nose lightly.
The man who has been drunk with red wine is very hot, and the temperature is not usually there. He Yu knows that if he and Xie Qingcheng are entangled at this time, it must be unprecedented.
But he didn't do it.
In the blank time of the past few days, he has indeed carefully thought through his thoughts, and he also has new ideas.
His feelings were not even the same as those in the ward at the time.
He had just recovered his life at the time, and the joy of surviving made him eager to obtain warmth and softness from Xie Qingcheng.
The eagerness at that time was born of an impulse, more like an inertia of previous behavior.
It's different now.
Although his mouth is still as fierce as before, when he thinks about how Xie Qingcheng has walked all these years alone, when he thinks of the tattoo on Xie Qingcheng's wrist, he was cut in the same hardship and helplessness as him. The scar that fell, he felt that his cold heart seemed to have some kind of sour and soft emotion.
That emotion became the knot that barely tied him.
He really doesn't like Xie Qingcheng, but Xie Qingcheng is the only one for him.
He felt uncomfortable that Xie Qingcheng never chose him.
But looking at him as a mentally ill person, he can somewhat understand his past suffering.
-He Yu thinks that there is not much pity in his new feelings for Xie Qingcheng.
But at least, he didn't want to hurt this person endlessly anymore.
Because of this, he didn't do anything out of the ordinary, he just hugged Xie Qingcheng for a long, long time - although Xie Qingcheng still didn't want to hug him back.
So this time, it was finally the first time they had a peaceful farewell after their relationship.
When He Yu left, the look in his eyes was deep, but he was restrained: "I've thought about it, Xie Qingcheng, I won't force you to do things you don't want to do in the future, Quan when you told me the truth. Thank you later... I won't torture you anymore, I won't force you to do those things again, don't be afraid."
Xie Qingcheng had a taste of wine on his body, but his eyes were as clear as thin ice.
just ice
Xie Qing said indifferently: "You are too proud of yourself. I have never been afraid of you. I just feel that those experiences are disgusting."
"… "
He said again: "Since you don't plan to do it again, what are you doing in my room?"
He Yu thought about it, as if he really couldn't remember why he came here.
He said, "Nothing. I'm leaving now."
"Ok."
"Xie Qingcheng."
"Ok?"
"... Before leaving, can you hug me too?"
Xie Qingcheng closed Xingyue's eyes and said indifferently: "I said, here with me, our relationship will not change in any way because you know my secret. My thoughts have not changed."
"… "
"You go."
If it was the former He Yu, it would be impossible to leave like this.
But this time he stared at Xie Qingcheng for a while, and finally said nothing, as if he had already said everything he should have said.
He originally had a lot of hostility, which could be turned into his driving force, allowing him to brazenly entangle in front of Xie Qingcheng.
But after thinking about it for the past few days, it seems that most of the hostility has been taken out of my chest.
He knew that Xie Qingcheng had abandoned him and left him, and he knew that Xie Qingcheng had never made a choice - but knowing some of the truth, it was difficult for him to feel that Xie Qingcheng had let him down.
Betrayal is the behavior of a normal person. Xie Qingcheng has long abandoned his identity as a normal person in the whirlpool of the whole incident.
Xie Qingcheng didn't even want him anymore.
And why stop for yourself
Although He Yu was still uncomfortable, it was not incomprehensible.
So after Xie Qingcheng asked him to leave again, he really left.
On the table was the hot cocoa tea brought by He Yu. Xie Qing lay on the bed as if he had lost his strength, raised his hand, and covered his forehead with his arms.
He Yu still had the warmth of He Yu, but it was not what he wanted. He has lived in hell for too long, he has never been able to get out of the death of his parents, and he can't let go of Lao Qin's death. He has lived among the dead for too long, and he is no longer used to the feeling of being close to the living.
Better to be alone...
Xie Qingcheng slept alone in exhaustion and confusion until dawn.
After Xie Qingcheng returned to Shanghai, it was naturally a toss up.
Zheng Jingfeng, Chen Wan, Aunt Li, Xie Xue... They would come to ask him about the whole thing out of concern. Although Xie Qingcheng was not very patient, he explained everything clearly.
Of course, what they knew was just the tip of the iceberg. He and He Yu were the only ones who knew what happened in the studio at that time.
He Yu did not ask Xie Qingcheng to do that kind of thing with him again.
Although the youth's desire is very prosperous, and the melting flow in his eyes can't be hidden, He Yu has always had more protection and sympathy for the mentally ill than ordinary people. He regarded them as his own kind, and naturally he would not bully more.
Xie Qingcheng originally thought that He Yu was just talking casually, but later found that He Yu was true to his word, and he was indeed a gentleman who kept his promises in this regard.
In the blink of an eye, New Year's Eve arrived.
Xie Qingcheng received a message from He Yu on New Year's Day—
"My parents have an emergency and are going back to Yanzhou again, but this time they let me go with me."
"But I didn't want to go, I refused."
"… "
After a long pause, He Yu seemed to be waiting for Xie Qingcheng's reply.
But Xie Qingcheng didn't reply, so he sent one last message.
"I don't want to be alone. Can I come to your house for the holidays?"