"En." Xu Man nodded seriously.
"What happened next?" I continued.
Xu Man looked at the people standing aside, as if he was not willing to continue talking about his privacy in front of these people. Although Brother Feng likes to pretend, he is quite clever. He knew that it was impossible for Xu Man to tell his own story when he was here, so he cupped his hands and said to me: "Brother, then you talk about it in detail, and I and other brothers will not bother you, I welcome you to come and play often. "
With that said, Brother Feng withdrew with a group of people.
I nodded, looked at Xu Man, and signaled Xu Man to continue talking.
Xu Man did not find Hu Pei that night, nor did he find Lu Zhiqiu. Xu Man's heart died at this moment, she turned her head and walked back. But at that time, the vicinity of the construction site was not very prosperous, and there was no one on the road, nor a car. The dim streetlights stretched Xu Man's shadow for a long time, and Xu Man walked aimlessly towards his rental house step by step.
Along the way, Xu Man was in a daze. She had been pregnant for a long time, her belly was big, and she was out of breath after walking a long distance. She stopped and walked, and sat on the side of the road in a daze when she was tired, and walked forward when she felt that she could continue to move forward. She walked forward with tears in her eyes, and laughed when she thought of the happy time with Hu Pei.
Just like that, crying and laughing while walking forward, Xu Man thought of committing suicide three times on the way.
Once, when she had walked too much and her stomach hurt unbearably, she wished she could jump off the bridge and leave along the undercurrent of the river. Once at dawn, she saw a lot of cars on the road, she didn't want to take a car, she wanted to just rush into the traffic and settle it. The last time was when she opened the door of her rental house and inserted the key backwards, she thought she could just roll down the stairs and forget it.
But every time she has made up her mind to seek death, she always thinks, what if Hu Pei calls in a moment? What if my parents forgive me the next moment? Every time she thinks of this, she silently suppresses her thoughts of wanting to die, and does whatever she has to do.
Seven years ago, Xu Man always felt that she didn't die because of the child in her stomach, but Xu Man finally realized that she didn't dare to die because she didn't dare to die. Death is a matter of courage, and not all people have such courage. For Xu Man, the child in her womb just gave her a more magnificent reason.
After Xu Man fell asleep, she never wanted to die.
In the next few days, Xu Man had nothing, no one to take care of her, and no money to hire others to take care of her. When Xu Man was desperate, he met a "kind-hearted" elder sister. At that time, Xu Man urgently needed someone to take care of him, and that elder sister appeared.
After experiencing the warmth and coldness of the world, there is someone who is willing to take care of her and someone who is willing to accompany her. Xu Man thinks that this eldest sister is the best person in the world. Not more than a month later, Xu Man gave birth to a child. It takes money to take care of children, but Xu Man has no money, and Xu Man has already been expelled from school because of too long absenteeism.
Xu Man, who is in her twenties, wants to raise a child, and she needs a job.
The enthusiastic elder sister introduced a good job to Xu Man, who could earn hundreds or even a thousand yuan a night. Xu Man's heart was moved, and she agreed to go and see it with her elder sister. So that night, under the influence of her eldest sister's verbal offensive and alcohol, Xu Man stumbled onto a road of no return.
Everything is difficult at the beginning, and so is this business. Xu Man regretted it unceasingly, and finally understood why the elder sister took care of herself at the critical moment. She finally understood that there is no free lunch in the world, and people who treat you well for no reason are because you have the space and value to be used.
The elder sister understood it with reason and moved her with emotion, and under the attack of "experts", Xu Man finally entered this industry. The eldest sister is responsible for introducing customers to Xu Man, and takes 30% of the money. Xu Man has a job, a job without dignity. Xu Man later understood that when a person doesn't even want dignity, he is actually making money. She knew that even the fake beggars on the street have an income of more than 10,000 yuan a month.
When Hu Pei thought of contacting Xu Man, their child was already three months old.
Xu Man has no feelings for Hu Pei at this moment, she lives like a walking dead every day, and the child has gradually become her only bond that can keep her mind clear for a moment.
Hu Pei didn't expect that Xu Man gave birth to his own child. Hu Pei proposed to take away his child and raise it by himself. Of course Xu Man is unwilling, the child is her only support and hope.
Hu Pei only used two points to convince Xu Man. Hu Pei said that you were admitted to Dongxing University anyway, knowing that if there was a fight over this matter, the child would definitely be sentenced to a father with a formal job.
Xu Man had no way to refute this.
Hu Pei said another sentence, making Xu Man completely give up the custody of the child: You don't want your children to ask you what you do in the future
It was because of this sentence that Xu Man's heart died. She can't do this, the child is innocent. Xu Man actually thought of the most reasonable point, that is, two people get married. How could Hu Pei marry him despite his present appearance
At that moment Xu Man felt very strange, she was very puzzled, Hu Pei aggressively came to the door, and she was speechless when she said aggressively, as if she had done something wrong. It was as if Hu Pei was not the one who ran away when he needed company the most, or Hu Pei was not the one who hid when the child needed care the most.
Now, it seems that I have done everything wrong, that I am too dirty.
But what will my daughter do when she grows up? Will she listen to her own explanation? Still prefer to trust a sanctimonious father.
Xu Man was heartbroken.
Hu Pei got a daughter. Later, Xu Man heard that Hu Pei and Jiang Xiaochun were married. Xu Man's heart was also relieved, if it was Jiang Xiaochun, she would be able to accept it. Later, she never saw her daughter again. In her words, her daughter lived a very happy life, so why did she insist on bothering her
I shook my head and said, "Since you are afraid that your daughter will think of you, why don't you leave this industry?"
Xu Man lit a women's cigarette, and the smoke circle was hazy in the dim environment of KTV.
After a long time, Xu Man said: "I have been in this industry for seven years. At the beginning, I was very popular, with young skin and good skin, but later on, it became more difficult to find business."
She flicked the cigarette ash and said: "When I was young, I always told myself that I would leave this industry when I made enough money, and just make enough money to support myself. Now I often hear the same words from young girls who enter the industry. But in reality As for the industry, once you enter this industry, you can’t help yourself, and you want to quit, how can it be so simple?"
She wiped her tears with her hands, and said, "Think about it, what can we do if we leave here? It's been so long, I'm used to feasting and feasting, you let me go to work, it's too hard, I don't know how to do business. No, what else do you think I can do?"
Her tone was sad: "If you have ten thousand, you want one hundred thousand, and if you have one hundred thousand, you want one million. There is never too much money, and we will never be able to get it back. The oldest of us is forty years old. You can imagine why you are still in this industry.”
"Fate."
Xu Man sighed heavily, as if he wanted to expel the resentment in his heart through cigarettes.
I shook my head slightly.
Xu Man said that this incident seems to be unstoppable: "Habits are terrible. Once formed, they cannot be changed. We have a person here who has no father and no mother. Now he has a car and a house, and he has already saved money. She has saved millions of dollars. But she still cannot do without this industry, she is used to it. Her biggest hobby is driving around the street and spilling handfuls of banknotes out of the car window , looking at the bills flying all over the sky and the people scrambling to pick up the money."
Xu Man laughed loudly, and she said: "Then you will find that those people are actually nowhere more noble than us. This is the way this world is. Who can be more noble than anyone else? People are not all Selfishness, all hypocrisy? Maybe the money you counted with your saliva today is stained with our sweat?"
I waved my hand and asked, "Leave this matter aside, why do you think that if Hu Pei and Jiang Xiaochun get married, you can accept and let go? Did you know Jiang Xiaochun before?"
Xu Man nodded and said, "That's right, I have no objection if it's Jiang Xiaochun. I'm just afraid that if Hu Pei and his wife have a child, it will be bad for my child."
I frowned and said, "Then what do you mean, it's impossible for Jiang Xiaochun and Hu Pei to have a child?"
Xu Man nodded heavily, and said: "Jiang Xiaochun is also from our school, and Hu Pei is a professional, and we often meet. It is impossible for Jiang Xiaochun and Hu Pei to have children. In fact, the union of two people should be a physical marriage. Bar."
"Physical marriage?" I widened my eyes.
Xu Man said: "Because Jiang Xiaochun likes women!"