Jiang Qiaoxi walked into his study and slammed the door open. He picked up a thick stack of lecture notes and test papers on the desk and came out.
These pale pages, stacked together and filled with densely written answers, looked like a pile of painstaking funeral offerings.
Jiang Qiaoxi loosened his grip, and with a loud bang, the books and papers were scattered all over the living room floor.
"Tear it up," Jiang Qiaoxi said, looking at Liang Hongfei coldly. "Tear it up."
Liang Hongfei was wearing a black tight cashmere sweater. Her lips were slightly open and her face was a strange purple-red due to excessive excitement.
She looked up, standing in the ruins, staring at her son's face.
When he was seven or eight years old, he didn’t work hard enough and was always playing around, so he couldn’t finish the homework assigned by his mother. Every time Liang Hongfei tore up his Olympiad math book, he would stand by the wall and cry and beg, “Mom… don’t tear up my Olympiad math book…”
Jiang Qiaoxi is over 1.8 meters tall. He has grown up. Over the years, he has become much quieter and has never cried again. He suddenly smiled at Liang Hongfei, although that smile was full of sadness.
"You think I'm going to beg you?" he said.
"Qiao Xi," Liang Hongfei shook her head and walked forward, "You can't, you can't treat your mother like this."
Jiang Qiaoxi looked down at her, and looked down at Liang Hongfei. He stretched out his hands and walked towards him. She wanted to hold his arms.
"You can't give up," she shook her head. Even though she was crying, Liang Hongfei spoke in an imperative tone, "You can't not go to the national training team, you can't not go to Tsinghua University, you have worked hard for so long, you should win the world championship, Qiaoxi, that's your brother—"
Jiang Qiaoxi was held by her arm and shook slightly. Jiang Qiaoxi's voice sounded emotionless: "That's not what I want."
Liang Hongfei asked: "What do you want?"
Jiang Qiaoxi lowered his eyes and looked at her.
"You want to fall in love early, right?" Liang Hongfei asked suddenly, her eyes widened.
No matter how hard Jiang Qiaoxi tried to hide his expression, he couldn't conceal the disappointment he felt at that moment.
Or maybe it was the desperation that made him want to laugh.
"You were so well-behaved when you were little, and you listened to your teachers, your parents," Liang Hongfei said seriously, "but since you went to the mountains... Qiaoxi, you are not that kind of child. You should have aspirations for your own future."
"I have someone I'm pursuing," Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly interrupted her, "so just let me pursue her."
"What are you pursuing?" Liang Hongfei asked, as if he was surprised to hear that Jiang Qiaoxi actually had something to pursue. "What exactly are you pursuing? Huh?"
Jiang Zheng came back from the balcony after smoking. He was upset and stood at the balcony door and shouted, "Liang Hongfei! Can you please stop yelling?"
"I yelled..." Liang Hongfei turned away, took a deep breath, and said to Jiang Zheng in a hoarse voice, "You don't care! Did you say a word about what happened to your son?!"
Jiang Zheng blushed and said, "If he doesn't want to go, what's the use of me saying it?"
Jiang Qiaoxi stood among the volumes scattered on the floor. These numbers, symbols, graphs, functions... almost accompanied him day and night for sixteen years, but what did they give him
People say that Jiang Qiaoxi was born because of the huge flaw caused by "Jiang Mengchu". He seemed to be born with a responsibility, an expectation, and a sin. He needs to follow this path and go to the end.
"Qiaoxi," Jiang Zheng came over. He was already fifty-five years old, with gray hair. He tried to calm himself down. "Why don't you want to join the national training team at this time?"
"Because I don't like math." Jiang Qiaoxi said calmly.
Before he finished speaking, Liang Hongfei came from behind and said angrily: "What nonsense are you talking about!"
Jiang Qiaoxi stepped back because Liang Hongfei slapped him in the face and he lowered his head.
Jiang Zheng pushed Liang Hongfei back and said, "You bitch, are you crazy?!"
Liang Hongfei's hair was scattered, losing its carefully maintained shape, and looked depressed and miserable. It turned out that she also had a lot of gray hair, but it had always been hidden in this daily perfect majesty.
"Jiang Qiaoxi," Liang Hongfei said in a trembling voice, "this is how you repay the kindness your parents have shown you."
Jiang Qiaoxi raised his head behind Jiang Zheng.
"My parents wanted me to take the exam," he said softly, "and I have passed."
The implication is that it is time to repay the great kindness. His tone sounded as if his parents were someone else and were not talking to him in front of him at all.
"You passed the exam for your own sake!" Liang Hongfei shouted at the top of his lungs.
Jiang Qiaoxi heard it.
"It's not for myself." Jiang Qiaoxi's voice was without any emotion, and he clearly denied her, "You have never thought about what I want—"
Liang Hongfei cried, "So you are going to destroy our whole family just for yourself!"
Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly pursed his lips.
"You are so selfish, huh? You don't value your talent, and you don't know how to cherish your opportunities!" Liang Hongfei cried out. She was on the verge of collapse because of Jiang Qiaoxi's hard-heartedness. "From the time you were born until now, how much have we paid to cultivate you! How much!!!"
Jiang Zheng couldn't stand Liang Hongfei's hysterical shouting any more, so he walked away and went to the sofa. He also wanted to escape from this suffocating situation. Jiang Qiaoxi was recommended to Tsinghua University, which was obviously a great joy. How could it turn out like this
He opened his cigarette box, but since he couldn't get any cigarettes out, he simply poured out all the cigarettes and scattered them under the table.
"Mom gave up the opportunity to further her studies. For you, she picked me up and dropped me off every day, and stayed with me until late on weekends. For you! Your dad is a big boss in a group, but for you, he couldn't even see his own driver," Liang Hongfei suddenly opened her mouth and exhaled. She seemed tired of crying, and she was weak. "Mengchu always said that he liked riding in dad's car the most, and he liked mom to accompany him to Olympiad classes the most. Mengchu liked math the most. He was only four years old, but he said he wanted to go to Tsinghua University—"
Jiang Qiaoxi stood there with his head lowered.
He was silent, as if he could never redeem himself.
Jiang Qiaoxi had a cabinet next to him, on which was a landline phone and a tray of sundries. Jiang Qiaoxi looked down but couldn't find it. He had knocked his subway card and keys to the ground. Jiang Qiaoxi turned around and saw a fruit knife next to a plate of apples on the dining table. He walked over.
Liang Hongfei said, Jiang Qiaoxi, what are you going to do, Jiang Qiaoxi!
Jiang Zheng was sitting on the sofa smoking a cigarette. He had just made a phone call. When he turned around and saw it, he stood up instantly.
"Mr. Lin, Mr. Lin!" he said into the phone, "What a coincidence... We haven't eaten yet, Qiaoxi and I are at home, Qiaoxi and I are the only ones at home!"
He suddenly walked in front of Jiang Qiaoxi and Liang Hongfei and grabbed Jiang Qiaoxi's wrist that was holding the fruit knife. Jiang Qiaoxi was sixteen years old, over 1.8 meters tall, so tall that Jiang Zheng had to look up to him. He was no longer the child who was pushed around by the couple with a schoolbag on his back.
There was no emotion in Jiang Qiaoxi's eyes. It seemed that this child had always been like this, with no expression at all.
Jiang Zheng raised his head and stared at Jiang Qiaoxi's face while talking on the phone.
"Engineer Lin," he said fearfully, "I'll take Qiaoxi there right now."
Electrician Lin and his family were eating hot pot. Electrician Lin and Team Leader Yu went to the market to buy the ingredients. The weather was cold, so eating hot pot was a very comfortable thing. Washing and cutting vegetables, making meatballs, and mixing seasonings at home was also very enjoyable.
Mother Lin opened the door and saw Jiang Zheng appearing outside, followed by Jiang Qiaoxi.
Jiang Qiaoxi's face was pale, just like when he first came to the Lin family many years ago, and he remained silent.
Electrician Lin had already put the mutton slices in the pot in advance: "Qiaoxi is here!"
Mother Lin felt that the atmosphere between the father and son was a little strange, so she smiled: "Come on, come in!" She said: "Yingtao, bring a small bowl of condiments for your Uncle Jiang and Qiaoxi! Does Qiaoxi like cilantro and chili? Put it in yourself later."
Lin Yingtao came out of the kitchen, holding two small bowls filled with sesame paste. When she raised her eyes, she saw Jiang Qiaoxi first, and she smiled at Uncle Jiang Zheng.
Jiang Zheng seemed to have just been through a battle, exhausted. He lowered his head and put on a pair of slippers given to him by Lin the Electrician. Jiang Qiaoxi was still standing beside him, motionless. Lin the Electrician put the slippers at his feet and smiled softly at him, "Qiaoxi, change your shoes, let's eat first."
Jiang Qiaoxi said: "Thank you, uncle."
Mother Lin said: "Qiaoxi hasn't come to my house for many years. After moving away from the mountains, I rarely see him."
Jiang Zheng sat on the sofa next to Lin the Electrician. He said with a smile, "Hey, I'm in math Olympiad class all day long, so I don't have time."
Lin Yingtao sat on a small stool next to the coffee table. She had grown taller and was not used to sitting on a stool. Jiang Qiaoxi, who was so tall, felt even more uncomfortable sitting next to her.
Lin Yingtao placed the small bowl of condiments in front of him and placed the chopsticks on the bowl.
Jiang Qiaoxi didn't touch it, as if he had no appetite at all, even though the heat and aroma of the hot pot were steaming towards him.
Mother Lin said, "I heard from Yingtao that Qiao Xi won the first prize in the national mathematics Olympiad."
Jiang Zheng smiled, like an ordinary father who is proud of his son: "Yes."
Lin Yingtao then noticed that there was blood red on the cuffs of Jiang Qiaoxi's wrists.
"What...what happened to your hand?" she asked.
Mother Lin stood up from the side, she said "Ouch" and put down the bowl: "Qiaoxi, what's on your sleeve?"
Jiang Zheng was sitting opposite, his expression a little embarrassed.
Mother Lin walked over to Jiang Qiaoxi and noticed that there were some reflective debris on the back of the boy's coat, as if he had been hit by something.
"Qiaoxi, come here, take off your coat and let me wash it for you." She said softly.
Jiang Qiaoxi was still sitting there, and Jiang Zheng said from the opposite side: "Take it off and let your Aunt Juanzi help you wash it."
Electrician Lin also said, "What did you get stuck on? Wash it now so it can be washed off."
Jiang Qiaoxi stood up from the table, unzipped his jacket and took it off. He was only wearing a short-sleeved white T-shirt. "Thank you, Auntie." Jiang Qiaoxi raised his eyes and watched Auntie Lin take his clothes. This seemed to be the first time Jiang Qiaoxi saw a person today.
Electrician Lin and his wife looked at each other.
"Cherry," he said suddenly, "if you are full, you and Qiaoxi can go inside and play."
"Ah?" Lin Yingtao was stunned. She hadn't eaten yet. Jiang Qiaoxi hadn't eaten a single bite either.
Mother Lin took a plate and took out the mutton slices, potatoes, fish balls and mushrooms from the pot. She also took the two children's bowls and chopsticks to Lin Yingtao's small bedroom.
"Your father and the others are smoking outside, it's stinking. You guys should eat inside." Mom said, and then closed the door from the outside.
Lin Yingtao and Jiang Qiaoxi were standing at the door, and she was a little at a loss.
There was only one chair in her little room, next to the desk. Jiang Qiaoxi sat down. This was his first time to come to Lin Yingtao's home in the provincial capital and to Lin Yingtao's bedroom.
His right hand was spread out on his knee, with a wound on the palm of his hand. Jiang Qiaoxi looked down at Lin Yingtao sitting on the bedside, sitting in front of him, using iodine cotton balls to disinfect him. Lin Yingtao raised her head from time to time, frowning and asking, "Does it hurt?"
Because the wound was long and deep, Band-Aids were useless. Lin Yingtao went out to find some gauze and wrapped it around Jiang Qiaoxi's hand in circles until Jiang Qiaoxi seemed to want to take his hand back. Then she found a pair of scissors to cut it open and then tried hard to tie a knot.
"You look so unhappy." Lin Yingtao raised her head and looked at his face.
Jiang Qiaoxi also looked at her.
He hadn't seen her since they parted at the station.
Lin Yingtao didn't wear her school uniform at home, but a light yellow pajamas with soft fabric and wavy edges. Lin Yingtao didn't tie her hair up, and let it flow down behind her ears, forming a natural curve and hanging on her shoulders.
Lin Yingtao turned around and looked at the bed behind her. "Mimi!" she whispered.
A kitten suddenly jumped onto the bed sheet and was picked up by Lin Yingtao. Lin Yingtao closed her eyes and kissed it behind its erect pointed ears.
"Let me hold it for you." Lin Yingtao smiled at Jiang Qiaoxi.
Jiang Qiaoxi's hands were still stiff. He was like a walking corpse, helpless and not worthy of her smiling at him like that.
The furry kitten was soft and warm, with two big eyes wide open. Jiang Qiaoxi's fingers were cold, but when his hands touched the softness, it opened its eyes involuntarily.
Jiang Qiaoxi's eyes suddenly became warm. He lowered his head and rubbed the kitten, then raised his head and met Lin Yingtao's distressed eyes.