Before coming to Hong Kong, Lin Yingtao originally planned to ask Jiang Qiaoxi some questions in person when she met him.
During these three years, or rather, from childhood to adulthood, the same question always lingered in her mind.
From when I was ten: "Why didn't you write to me when you went to the provincial capital?"
Turned into a twenty-year-old: "Why did you pick up your luggage and leave without saying goodbye that day, without giving me any news?"
Lin Yingtao is a junior in education. The more cases she learns, the more she understands the importance of a family. She often thinks back to the people she knew since childhood, Duchamp, Yu Qiao, Cai Fangyuan, Qin Yeyun, Geng Xiaoqing, Xin Tingting... Of course, she also thinks of Jiang Qiaoxi, and every part of Jiang Qiaoxi's experience. Jiang Qiaoxi can resist fate through his mathematical talent and hard work day after day, but he cannot resist the "instinct" and "character" he developed in his family since childhood. To a large extent, this is Jiang Qiaoxi himself. This is the real "fate" that people cannot resist.
Lin Yingtao wanted to ask him, Jiang Qiaoxi, what happened to your family? Why didn't you tell me? Didn't you always want to go to the United States, to the University of California, Berkeley? Didn't you have a lot of scholarships? You could go without your cousin's support. Why didn't you go? Why did you stay in Hong Kong? You didn't contact anyone. Why did you start working as a tutor? The risk was so great. You needed money. Why didn't you tell us? I can work in Beijing. My parents can lend you money. What kind of life do you live
Before you left, you told me not to forget you. What does that mean? You want me to wait for you? Or you don't have to wait, as long as Lin Yingtao doesn't forget Jiang Qiaoxi. What do you want
These questions, whether they were anger, confusion, or grievance, had been held in Lin Yingtao's heart for too long. She had wanted to ask Jiang Qiaoxi when she met him and get them all clear.
But I had a fever and was held by him, so I couldn’t ask him anything. I slept in his bed and saw him spend the night on the floor, so I didn’t know what to ask. He took care of me while I ate, and I looked into his eyes, but I didn’t know what to say. I sat in the hospital and watched him running back and forth. He was obviously a quiet person, but he kept asking the doctor about his fever and cold...
They took the city bus back to the cheap apartment they rented, and had to transfer to the subway. Lin Yingtao stood beside him wrapped in his coat. Jiang Qiaoxi first leaned on the handrail and looked down at the instructions on the medicine box, then reached out and hugged Lin Yingtao, as if he wanted to block the cold air from her.
When they returned to the apartment, they found that the elevator was still under maintenance. Lin Yingtao was held by Jiang Qiaoxi's hand and climbed the stairs together. She couldn't climb to the ninth floor anymore. She walked too much yesterday after getting off the plane and had a fever. Jiang Qiaoxi asked her to stand on the ninth floor stairs, and he turned around and went down, saying, "Come on."
Lin Yingtao put her arms around Jiang Qiaoxi's shoulders, and Jiang Qiaoxi held her knees, carrying her upstairs. The cherry necklace in Lin Yingtao's collar fell off and rubbed against Jiang Qiaoxi's neck, as if it sensed the person who put it on.
"Jiang Qiaoxi." Lin Yingtao lay on his back, her heart was full, she didn't know what it was.
"What's wrong?" Jiang Qiaoxi asked. He was a little out of breath and tired, but he carried her upstairs without saying a word.
Lin Yingtao turned her face away, put her cheek against the back of his neck, and stopped talking.
Today is only the 2nd day, Lin Yingtao thought. She has a holiday to ask Jiang Qiaoxi these questions bit by bit. She has found him, which is more important than anything else.
And I have 100,000 yuan given by my cousin. Lin Yingtao thought again.
The rented house was so shabby that there wasn't even a stool. Lin Yingtao could almost imagine Jiang Qiaoxi working outside until late at night, coming back to wash up and fall asleep. She sat down on the bed, her back to the dark blue curtains that didn't let in light. She watched Jiang Qiaoxi put the medicine bag in his hand on the table. Jiang Qiaoxi bent down, opened his schoolbag, took out two apples, and he opened the door to wash them.
After a while, he came back. Lin Yingtao took one of them from him and ate it herself.
Jiang Qiaoxi put the other one on the extension table. He took out Lin Yingtao's medical record card and some documents such as the Hong Kong and Macau Pass from his pocket.
"What time did you arrive in Hong Kong yesterday?" Jiang Qiaoxi asked her, lowering his head.
Lin Yingtao swallowed the apple and said, "Ten o'clock in the morning."
Jiang Qiaoxi sorted out Lin Yingtao's documents and put them all into the medicine bag, as if he was afraid that Lin Yingtao would lose them carelessly.
He picked up the water cup and went out, and came back after a while with a full cup of hot water. He picked up the disposable paper cup for Lin Yingtao, bent down to pour water into it, and let Lin Yingtao hold it herself.
"Then how did you get here?" he asked, standing up straight.
Lin Yingtao said: "I went to HKU first, hoping to find you, but HKU was on holiday. I walked around a lot and asked many students on the street, but none of them knew you..."
Jiang Qiaoxi said nothing. He stood in the small room and looked down at Lin Yingtao's innocent face.
"Then Cai Fangyuan called me and said that someone in his studio knew a senior from HKU, and the owner of a rental group knew you," Lin Yingtao said, smiling at Jiang Qiaoxi. "By the way, did you know that Cai Fangyuan opened his own studio in Shanghai, an online studio, and it seems to be making a lot of money."
Jiang Qiaoxi listened, his eyes drooped, and he nodded and smiled.
Lin Yingtao continued to recall: "Then, he gave me a few addresses, and I found the first apartment, which was in Sham Shui Po. At first, the old man just watched the horse racing and didn't talk to me—"
She talked a lot and when she talked about calling the landlord, she ate an apple and imitated the landlord's tone, which made Jiang Qiaoxi laugh so hard that his shoulders shook.
"This apple is so delicious." Lin Yingtao said to Jiang Qiaoxi while biting the apple.
Jiang Qiaoxi bent down and put the remaining washed sugar-core apple into the bag.
Lin Yingtao had finished eating all the fruit, leaving only the core. Jiang Qiaoxi sat down beside her, took the four bottles of medicine prescribed by the hospital, unscrewed them and asked her to take the medicine.
Lin Yingtao went to throw away the fruit core and came back to sit next to Jiang Qiaoxi. She took off her white sports coat because Jiang Qiaoxi was afraid she would catch a cold. The air conditioner in the room was not turned on very low, and she felt a little hot, so she tied her hair up.
Jiang Qiaoxi unscrewed each bottle of medicine and told her how to take it. It was now four o'clock in the afternoon. After taking it once, she had to wait six hours and take it again before going to bed at night. "Don't forget." He looked down at her.
Lin Yingtao listened and met Jiang Qiaoxi's eyes. Somehow, she suddenly had a bad feeling.
Jiang Qiaoxi watched Lin Yingtao raise her head to drink water and swallow the medicine. Her neck was slender and close to his eyes. Her skin was white and tender. Only when the light from the gap in the curtains shone on it could he see the very fine hair and a few strands of hair on the back of her head. Lin Yingtao pursed her wet lips and raised her eyes to look at Jiang Qiaoxi. The two of them were so close that no one spoke. Jiang Qiaoxi saw that the back of Lin Yingtao's ears suddenly turned red.
Jiang Qiaoxi stood up suddenly and put the bottles of medicine in his hand, along with the medicine bag containing the documents and apples, into the box that Lin Yingtao had spread out on the floor. He said, "Yingtao, where is your hotel?"
"Ah?" Lin Yingtao was still sitting by the bed, stunned.
Jiang Qiaoxi looked at her calmly.
"I'll take you there," he said, minding his own business. "What do you want for dinner? I'll have dinner with you."
Lin Yingtao held the empty paper cup in her hand and said, "I forgot to book a hotel."
Jiang Qiaoxi looked down at her.
Lin Yingtao didn't know whether she felt guilty or what.
She lowered her head and crushed the paper cup.
Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly put his hands in his pockets. His trouser pockets were already empty.
"It's the Golden Week recently, so there are a lot of tourists. It might be hard to book a hotel," Jiang Qiaoxi said as he stretched out his hand and pulled the door handle. "I'll go ask."
He said that and went out.
Lin Yingtao sat on the bed, holding a paper cup in her hand.
After a while, Jiang Qiaoxi came back and said, "Cherry, put on your coat. I'll go to the hotel with you." He then asked, "What date is your return ticket?"
Lin Yingtao stood up and saw Jiang Qiaoxi bending down to help her close the box.
Jiang Qiaoxi seemed to be worried that if Lin Yingtao stayed for another second, she would be unable to control herself and something would happen.
Lin Yingtao asked: "What are you going to do?"
Jiang Qiaoxi pulled up her suitcase and stood it up. Jiang Qiaoxi said, "I don't know how many days I should order it for."
Seeing how quickly he moved, Lin Yingtao said, "I have my own money, I can book a hotel myself."
Jiang Qiaoxi lowered his head and said, "It's okay. There are many informal hotels here. I'll book one for you."
Lin Yingtao looked at him.
Jiang Qiaoxi didn't avoid her gaze either: "Where do you want to go in Hong Kong, what do you want to eat, you can call me in the next few days."
Lin Yingtao's eyes were red: "I don't want to go anywhere..."
Jiang Qiaoxi heard Lin Yingtao say, "I came to Hong Kong just to find you, Jiang Qiaoxi... I'm not going anywhere."
The suitcase covered with colorful stickers stood in this simple and shabby rental house, just like Lin Yingtao suddenly broke into Jiang Qiaoxi's current life.
"And... and what do you mean I can call you these days?" Lin Yingtao looked up at him, crying all of a sudden, "I still can't call you after I go back..."
It was past two in the morning and Jiang Qiaoxi was still sitting in the hospital ward.
He wanted to read a book, but he couldn't finish a single word. He had been accompanying Lin Yingtao in the hospital since he sent her to the hotel.
I don’t know if Cherry is asleep.
Jiang Qiaoxi reached out and shook his cousin's soft hand. He turned his head and looked at the various vital signs on the instruments beside the bed.
My cousin's wife came. She took care of the two old people and the children at home, and came before my cousin turned over and tapped his back again. The nurse I hired was on leave today, so there was no one at the bedside. My cousin's wife brought the suit and shirt that she had ironed for Jiang Qiaoxi. She rarely smiled: "You look energetic today. Did you go out to play with Xiaolin sister?"
Jiang Qiaoxi also laughed.
"Little Lin Sister", this is probably the only "happy event" in their family recently.
Even before his cousin went to bed, he was looking at him with an excited and gratified look, as if he was happy for his little cousin.
Jiang Qiaoxi took the suit to the bathroom in the ward and put it on and tried it on. This was made for him by his cousin who asked a tailor to make it for him when he was studying for TOEFL in Hong Kong. It was originally intended for him to use when he went to study in the United States. When he came out, his cousin's wife was wiping his face. She came over and looked him over.
"It's a pretty good fit," said the cousin's wife, smiling and looking up at Jiang Qiaoxi, "How handsome... If you grow taller, you really can't change it!"
Jiang Qiaoxi took the overnight bus back to his rented apartment. He held the suit in his hand. In a few months, he would wear this suit to knock on the door of an internship at a foreign investment bank.
And then, and then…
Jiang Qiaoxi didn't dare to think about what his future would be like.
He walked downstairs to the rental house and saw a suitcase covered with stickers standing there from afar.
A girl, wearing Jiang Qiaoxi's white sports jacket and a short skirt, was squatting on the side of the road, staring at the headlights of a taxi across the road, wondering what she was thinking.
Suddenly, Lin Yingtao turned her head.
She saw Jiang Qiaoxi coming back from the hospital late at night, her hair blown behind her ears by the wind, and she stood up.
"cherry?"
Jiang Qiaoxi asked her unexpectedly.
The hotel he booked for Lin Yingtao was near Victoria Harbour, which was not very close to here and took an hour by bus.
The taxi was waiting across the road. Lin Yingtao pulled her suitcase, picked up her schoolbag, and walked in front of Jiang Qiaoxi.
"Jiang Qiaoxi, I changed my flight ticket." She choked.
Jiang Qiaoxi looked down at her.
Lin Yingtao looked at him. Her eyes were still tearful as she had just cried in the afternoon.
"I have...something I want to tell you," Lin Yingtao said, mustering up her courage, "I'm afraid you'll go to school or work tomorrow morning and I won't be able to find you...If I tell you...then I'll leave."