Han Yu was with me all the time in those few days. He looked even more haggard and thin than me. Looking at his face, I would think of him saying "I love you" to me, but in that case, I no longer dared to Believe it easily.
He Hao never came to look for me, I made excuses for myself, I said it must be because I lost my phone and he couldn't find me, I've always been good at deceiving myself like this.
During that time, apart from Han Yu, Zhou Miao and her younger sister Zhou Ting were also there. Zhou Miao didn't mention anything about that night, but most of the time, she looked at me with calm sadness on her face.
At first I thought of death, it would be over once and for all, but I was not reconciled, my life had just begun.
I think of my grandma telling me to live a good life before she died, and I think of sister Weiwei who took all the charges and wanted me to live a good life. I worked so hard at Emgrand, I suffered so much, I suffered so much, The purpose is to live a good life and live like a human being.
I can't die, the more fate wants to crush me, the more I have to resist.
Even if, with life as a bet.
After staying at Han Yu's house for a few days, my body has almost recovered. I know that there are some things that I cannot escape after all.
I told Han Yu that I was going back to He's house, Han Yu didn't say anything, just sent me outside the gate of He's villa, I didn't dare to see him, and ran away like a thief.
After entering the door, I saw him leaning on an electric pole, full of decadence, smoking one cigarette after another.
I don't know why, but my heart suddenly felt wet.
As soon as I walked into the living room, I saw He Yuan sitting on the sofa in the living room. When he saw me, he stared at me like a cat seeing a mouse, and then asked me in a fierce tone: "Where have you been these few days?" Why didn't you come back or go to school?"
I don't know how to explain to He Yuan, what happened that night, every time I think about it, it's a lingering time, He Yuan suddenly rushed over to hug me, and those bad memories came back to my mind at once, I instinctively Dodging, he rushed to nothing.
My reaction completely annoyed him, he rushed over again, grabbed my hand vigorously, threw me down on the sofa, his eyes were bloodshot, bursting out with overwhelming anger.
He gritted his teeth, "I treat you so well, why do you want to be with other men? Bean sprouts, why are you disobedient?"
He Yuan asked me in pain, I forgot to push him away, he suddenly lowered his head to kiss me, biting my lip with his teeth, I felt my lip was broken, and a bloody smell came out of my mouth, It was so disgusting that I felt like throwing up.
I wanted to push him away, but his strength was too great. At this moment, I suddenly saw He Hao. He drank alcohol and walked in, smelling of alcohol. Beside him was a woman dressed in a very enchanting and beautiful way. .
The woman's figure was slender, revealing the white flowers standing proudly on her chest. He held He Hao's hand in both hands, looking up at me like a winner, his eyes full of disdain.
At that moment, I felt like I was struck by lightning, and my whole body was so numb that I lost any sense of consciousness.
I wanted to say something, but my lips moved a few times, my throat seemed to be blocked by a large piece of cotton, and I couldn't say anything.
He Hao walked past me with that woman as if he didn't see me. I smelled the familiar and clear smell of tobacco, and the obsession hidden in my heart fell apart at this moment.
I didn't even have the courage to ask him what is between us. After thinking about it carefully, he never said he liked me, let alone said he would be responsible for me. At that time, I only relied on my love for him. Willingly fall into the cage he has woven.
I suddenly understood that there was no difference between me and Sister Ying. In his heart, I was the same lowly woman. As long as he gave me money, he could get rid of me. After he knew that I was raped, he didn't even want to look at me again, and abandoned me like a piece of paper. shoe.
It was only later that I realized that He Hao had never liked me. To him, I was just a sex hunt. What he wanted was never a woman's heart, but a woman's body.
I will not be his beginning, let alone his end.
Love is so ridiculous and stupid.
It turns out that the so-called love is just my own wishful thinking.
One day, when I stood on top of the peak and took everything from him, he knelt down and begged me for mercy, greedy for life and afraid of death like an ant, the man I once loved like the marrow of my bones was so unbearable.
I heard the sound of high-heeled shoes stepping on the ground, as if someone was holding a big hammer, beating my heart one after another.
I heard He Yuan calling me in a trembling voice, "bean sprouts" over and over again, and a woman's ambiguous and numb moans came from upstairs, but I lost all consciousness.
The biggest turmoil in personal experience is nothing but disillusionment.
I don't know how I left He's house. When I came out, He Yuan chased me. When I got outside the gate, Han Yu ran over and took my hand and asked me what was wrong. He Yuan chased after me. Afterwards, the two wrestled together, and snowflakes rolled all over their bodies in the snow.
I was walking numbly, physically and mentally exhausted, the world was so big, but I didn't know where to go, it seemed that this life was over.
I have been walking in the snow, and Han Yu is walking behind me, neither far nor near, he understands me.
When I was exhausted, I looked up, and there was a desolation in front of me, and there was a river not far from my feet. Even in winter, it was undercurrent and turbulent.
The cold wind blew over, and I couldn't help shivering. I found a big rock and sat down, just looking at the river in front of me calmly.
My heart has never been as peaceful as it is now, as if nothing can ever enter my eyes again.
I didn't cry, as early as in that icy cold night, my tears had already been shed dry.
Sitting on the cold stone, I think of many people and things, I think of my humbleness and cowardice, I think of my cautiousness, I want to get a chance to survive in the cracks of this city, however, the cruel reality is always time and time again beat me.
I suddenly remembered what Sister Feng said to me. She said that if you want not to be bullied, you must become a master. If you become more powerful than them, no one will dare to bully you.
I don't know how Sister Feng got to where she is today, but that road is destined to be full of mud and blood, and everyone's road is very difficult. Now that things have happened, what right do I have to blame others
Each of us has a difficult life.
I don't want to be bullied anymore, I don't want to be at the mercy of others like a dead dog anymore, my life and destiny should be in my own hands, I want to become a master, I want those who used to belittle me to be punished I stepped on it!