Confession (Ying Cheng)

Chapter 41: The key to the confession is that I am quite useful

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It was too hot in the room, Zhou Jingze sucked her pair of ears with his head tilted, just as his cold and slender fingertips hooked the thin shoulder straps, Xu Sui's heart trembled, his eyes glanced at the painting on the opposite wall through his shoulders. At that time, he inadvertently lowered his head, startled.

Master Kui and 1017, one big and one small, were sitting on the ground looking at them, their eyes wide open.

Xu Sui blushed all of a sudden, she pushed Zhou Jingze's shoulder away and motioned to him. When Zhou Jingze turned his head, Demu and Jumao were staring at him intently, with upright faces, as if he shouldn't do such a reckless, day-to-day prostitution thing at home.

"Tsk," Zhou Jingze walked over to pick up the fat cat, and held the collar of the German Shepherd with the other hand, "You don't have to be so jealous of me, a single dog and a single cat."

Unexpectedly, 1017 was greatly stimulated by hearing this, jumped out of Zhou Jingze's arms, and went straight to Xu Sui who was sitting on the sofa. When Zhou Jingze looked back to find the target, he found that Fat Cat was sitting firmly in his girlfriend's arms, with his chin raised, looking like a villain.

"Don't be caught by me." Zhou Jingze pointed at it.

"Meow~" 1017 snapped at him, and immediately hid in Xu Sui's arms.

Xu Sui was overjoyed to see 1017, he kept holding it and playing with it. After the end of the last semester, Xu changed the dormitory auntie with their girls' dormitory, and the cat has been fostered by Zhou Jingze.

The two didn't confirm their relationship before, and Xu Sui didn't want to disturb him often.

Well now, it's their cat.

The light in the room is too dark, giving people a gloomy feeling. Xu Sui got up with the cat in his arms, turned on the light, and opened the brown curtains. The light flooded in, and his eyes suddenly became clear.

Xu Suizheng was walking towards the sofa, and when he passed by Zhou Jingze, his stomach growled inappropriately. Just as Zhou Jingze opened the refrigerator door, he gave a hand holding ice water, and gently grabbed Xu Sui who was running away with his other hand, and brought him back.

"Didn't eat?" Zhou Jingze raised his eyebrows, closed the refrigerator door instead, and swiped on it with his mobile phone, "What do you want to eat?"

The takeaway was delivered quickly, and what Zhou Jingze ordered was a private kitchen. The dishes were exquisite and delicious. He got up and took out a carton of milk from the refrigerator, paused in his footsteps, and heated it in the kitchen again.

Zhou Jingze sat back on the sofa again, handed the milk to Xu Sui, and took the disposable tableware in her hand, opened it and gave it to her. Xu Sui took it over, ate a few mouthfuls, and found that Zhou Jingze was lying on the sofa as if he had no bones, and he was looking down at his phone with a look of lack of interest.

Xu Sui looked up at him: "Aren't you going to eat?"

Zhou Jingze didn't lift his head, and said in a tired voice, "I don't really want to eat."

Knowing that he was in a bad mood, Xu Sui wanted him to eat some too, so he took out a new pair of chopsticks and handed them over, saying softly, "But I want you to eat some with me."

The air was still, and the wall clock on the wall was making a ticking sound. Zhou Jingze was holding the phone, and his eyes were finally parted. He threw the phone aside, bent his waist slightly, raised his hand and pinched her face, with a smile:

"Xu Sui, I found that you are quite good at acting like a baby."

Xu Sui's heart burned, she lowered her head quickly, and stuffed a bean into her mouth. A hand with clear knuckles pulled off the chopstick in her left hand, and a lazy voice rang in her ears:

"The key point is that I am quite useful."

After they finished eating, Zhou Jingze put the lunch box and garbage into the trash can. The two sat on the thick gray carpet and played games together.

Xu Sui played games with him in the living room all afternoon, and didn't say a word about his absence from the exam.

After the game was over, Zhou Jingze threw away the Switch handle, raised his hand and rubbed his neck, and said, "Don't ask me about my lack of exams?"

Xu Sui shook his head and looked up at him: "When you want to talk, you will tell me."

"Changing my choice and choosing a major was entirely a whim." Zhou Jingze propped his elbows on the floor and hooked his lips in a self-deprecating manner. "But when I really flew above the sky, I fell in love with it again."

"Once you are serious, you will not be able to accept your failure." Zhou Jingze opened a can of carbonated drink, raised his head and took a sip, his Adam's apple rolled slowly.

Xu Sui nodded thoughtfully: "Give me some time, this obstacle of yours can be overcome."

This disease has been with him for many years since he was a child, and he will have an attack whenever he encounters a dark and claustrophobic space. Zhou Jingze only regarded her as a little girl with a kind heart, and patted her head: "Okay."

Coming out of Zhou Jingze, Xu Sui took the bus to catch up with school. After returning to the dormitory and washing up, the first thing she did was check the information on the computer. She also sat there when the dormitory lights were turned off.

Hu Qianxi turned over in the warm blanket, looked down, looked at Xu Sui in front of the desk and yawned: "Baby, you are not sleeping yet, go to bed quickly, it's cold down here."

"It's okay, it will be fine in a while." Xu Suiwen replied.

Xu Sui checked a lot of information and some periodicals and magazines in front of the computer. It said that claustrophobia has biological causes, genetic factors, etc., one of which is the growth environment and family education.

Zhou Jingze's family... Xu Sui thought about his irreconcilable relationship with his father, and what he said about the confession.

Before going to bed, Xu Sui held the phone, hesitated, and asked: [Your illness is related to your childhood?]

Ten minutes later, zjz replied: [Yes.]

The next day, Xu Sui and Liang Shuang went to class together. After they found their seats, the teacher hadn't come yet. Xu Sui sat in the third row, turned around with a pen, pushed his companion's arm, and asked: "Shuangshuang, a very good senior who came back to school to give a lecture last time, do you have his contact?" way

Facing Liang Shuang's puzzled look, Xu Sui added, "It's the one who opened a psychological counseling clinic after graduation."

"Oh, Guan Xiangfeng, the homepage of the campus website has his contact information," Liang Shuang put down his pencil case, and smiled mysteriously at her, "But you asked the right person, a senior sister I like has his private WeChat, Push it to you later."

"Thank you, Shuangshuang."

"You're welcome."

After returning to the dormitory after class, Liang Shuang actually got Guan Xiangfeng's WeChat and pushed it to her. Xu Sui clicked to add it, and the verification message was very polite: Brother, Xu Sui, a 2011 clinical medicine student, has a personal question Ask you.

At exactly one o'clock in the noon, Guan Xiangfeng approved her WeChat request. Xu Sui made a long story short and cut directly to the topic: [Brother, hello. I'm Sui Xu, I would like to ask a friend of mine who suffers from claustrophobia, what treatment is available.]

After a while, Guan Xiangfeng sent a location and replied: [Interview is more effective. What time in the afternoon, I will ask the nurse to make an appointment for you.]

Xu Suihui: [It's three o'clock in the afternoon.]

Guan Xiangfeng: [Okay, I'll wait for you to come here.]

In the afternoon, Xu Sui took the bus all the way to the urban area according to the address given by Guan Xiangfeng, and found his hospital 800 meters away from Mixc City.

After going up, Xu Sui told her appointment time at the front desk, and when she made an appointment for a cup of tea, a nurse walked through the corridor and led her to Guan Xiangfeng's office.

Xu Sui raised his hand and knocked on the door, making a "duk duk" sound, and a warm and windy voice sounded: "Come in."

Xu Sui opened the door and entered. There was a doctor in a white coat sitting on the desk on the right, with a pen pinned to his chest, and a pile of messy folders on his right. He was wearing a pair of silver-rimmed glasses and looked handsome.

"Junior Sister Xu, right?" Guan Xiangfeng smiled and pressed the intercom phone, "What do you want to drink?"

"Plain water is fine, thank you." Xu Sui replied.

When the water was served, Xu Sui briefly explained Zhou Jingze's situation, Guan Xiangfeng nodded, and took out the pen on his chest: "I understand the situation, can you let your friend come over directly? Face-to-face treatment is better."

Xu Sui shook his head: "I'm afraid not, he probably won't come."

Zhou Jingze is such a proud person, if she hadn't accidentally bumped into the elevator incident, he probably wouldn't have let her know his fragile side.

"He said that claustrophobia is not so much, it's just mild, and fear of the dark will exacerbate his symptoms." Xu Sui added.

Guan Xiangfeng took a pen and wrote it down on paper, then pondered for a while: "In fact, the influence of mental shadow is greater."

"Most of them need psychological treatment in the early stage and drug intervention in the later stage. You said he didn't even try? He just gave up the exam?" Guan Xiangfeng asked.

"yes."

"Escape, maybe the illness is not so serious. Why don't you try systematic desensitization therapy." Guan Xiangfeng stretched out his index finger and pushed his glasses, suggesting.

After hearing what the doctor said, Xu Sui breathed a sigh of relief, but she thought of something else: "I checked the information, and the desensitization effect of the system seems to be relatively slow. He is a pilot, so he must not delay too much. Can you try the full irrigation method? .”

Full irrigation therapy is to let the patient enter a terrifying situation, restore the scene at that time, and repeat the details tirelessly when the patient tries to resist or cover his ears or eyes with his hands, and prevent the patient from escaping.

This treatment works quickly, but if the patient does not adapt, it will cause a stress response and may faint midway.

A flash of surprise flashed in Guan Xiangfeng's eyes. He didn't expect that she had done so much homework in advance. He pondered for a while: "Okay, I will give him two sets of test questions first, and teach you how to do it."

"The most important point is that I have to watch the whole treatment process remotely and keep talking with you."

Xu Sui hesitated for a moment, and finally nodded: "Okay."

Before leaving, Xu Suichong bowed to express his gratitude to the senior brother. When she was holding the doorknob and was about to leave, Guan Xiangfeng suddenly called her: "May I ask, that friend is very important to you. person?"

Xu Sui smiled: "Yes."

Very important.

When Xu Sui went to Zhou Jingze's house with a bunch of test questions, he expressed his thoughts cautiously, but Zhou Jingze nodded without thinking.

"So... simple?" Xu Sui's tone was unbelievable.

She thought that according to Zhou Jingze's haughty character, it would be very difficult for him to receive treatment and face her past misery.

Zhou Jingze leaned his back on the sofa and played with his mobile phone. Hearing this, his eyes shifted to her, and he raised his hand to rub her hair. His tone was casual and full of unreserved trust:

"Isn't there you?"

Zhou Jingze quickly completed two sets of psychological test questions in his notebook, spread his hands, and nestled back on the sofa. Xu Sui sat on the carpet, moved back to the computer, compressed the test questions he answered into a file package and sent it to Guan Xiangfeng's mailbox.

Not long after, Guan Xiangfeng sent an email to reply: Yes, his physical and psychological are stable, above the acceptable range. You can give it a try.

Xu Sui moved the computer aside, put his hand on Zhou Jingze's knee, and asked, "When did you... the first shadow happen?"

"Ten years old," Zhou Jingze put the phone aside, and said in a casual tone, "it's in the basement of this house."

"It's right here?" Xu Sui couldn't help opening his eyes wide, and his eyelashes fluttered.

To have experienced this at such a young age, and he has lived here alone for so long.

Zhou Jingze drooped his black eyelashes, and curled his lips: "Remembering, I'm not sure if I can bear it."

Xu Sui couldn't help holding his hand, and said in a soft voice, "It's okay, you still have me."

Zhou Jingze took Xu entourage down the staircase on the right side of his study. The staircase was very narrow, requiring two people to go down sideways one after the other.

Zhou Jingze held her tightly all the time. From the moment he went downstairs, Xu Sui noticed that his nerves were very tense, his back was like a bow, and it collapsed very tightly.

The sight in front of him gradually narrowed and darkened. After stepping down the last flight of stairs, Zhou Jingze stood there, closed his eyes, and reached for the switch on the wall.

Xu Sui felt a layer of sweat on his palm.

With a "bang", the lighting was turned on, and the dark space was instantly bright as day, with countless fine dust floating under the lights. Xu Sui looked over.

The basement is about 30 square meters, and it has now become an abandoned grocery room. There are a basketball and an abandoned bicycle lying on the ground, and a layer of shelf boards is piled up next to it, and a thick layer of dust has accumulated.

Zhou Jingze let go of her hand and walked towards the wooden shelf, reaching out to grab the items on it. Xu Sui walked forward and saw that it was a black leather belt with the patent leather peeled off, but the metal buckle was still glowing coldly.

"Tsk, that's what my dad used to hit me." Zhou Jingze's tone was careless, like a bystander.

"Because of what?" Xu Sui asked him.

"because-"

Just as Zhou Jingze was thinking about it, the light went out with a "snap", and his vision was plunged into darkness, only the small window on the opposite wall emitted a faint light.

Zhou Jingze swallowed hard, and the feeling of palpitations began to appear. He stepped back subconsciously and wanted to touch the switch on the wall. He held his hand with both hands, which was very warm.

"It's okay," Xu Suiwen said, "Speak slowly."

"I remember that Zhou Zhengyan was starting a business at that time, and his career was not going well. When I married my mother, I was strongly opposed by my family, especially my uncles, who often looked down on him. But he never dared to speak to my mother. Temper, because my mother's income from playing the cello is invested in him, and he can only please my mother."

"He failed many times in investment and lived a worthless life. He only came to me to vent. Usually he scolded me sharply, and when it was serious, he took a book and hit me on the shoulder."

Until one day, Zhou's mother, Yan Ning, went abroad to visit a friend. Because of the cold weather, Zhou Jingze caught a cold and coughed non-stop. The doctor came and drank two bottles of water, but it didn't get better. The nanny said this when talking to Yan Ning thing.

Yan Ning immediately called Zhou Zhengyan and repeatedly told him to take the child to see it in person. Zhou Zhengyan responded with a good voice, turned around and plunged into the study to call someone to solicit investment.

Zhou Jingze coughed for a whole day, coughed until his ears rang in the middle of the night, and coughed until his lungs came out. Because he was afraid of waking his father, he lay down on the bed, covered his mouth, coughed until his shoulders trembled, and his voice was intermittent.

In the end, Zhou Jingze couldn't take it anymore, he had difficulty breathing, and his stomach hurt on both sides from time to time. He struggled to get up from the bed, and knocked on his father's door while clutching his chest and coughing.

I don't know if it's because the memories are too embarrassing, or because I feel uncomfortable in the dark and claustrophobic environment, Zhou Jingze's forehead is covered with sweat, and his face is pale.

"And then?" Xu Suiyou couldn't help but squeeze Zhou Jingze's hand tightly.

Zhou Jingze leaned his back against the wall, his eyes were cold, but the corners of his lips curled up habitually: "He's up."

And then the nightmare begins.

With a bang, Zhou Zhengyan opened the door, and Zhou Jingze was taken aback. Before he could react, Zhou Zhengyan had a gloomy face, and suddenly picked up his collar and dragged him into the room.

Zhou Jingze couldn't break free at all, Zhou Zhengyan slammed his head against the wall, cursing as he slammed: "I've put up with you all night, cough, cough, and fucking keep people from sleeping."

"Fuck! Why did I give birth to such an unlucky thing like you?"

Father Zhou's dirty insults sounded in his ears, and Zhou Jingze's whole body was slammed into a hard wall. His head hurt for a while, so painful that he cried, and finally lost consciousness from the pain, only feeling warm blood gushing out from his forehead , One drop after another fell to the ground, shocking.

In the end, he cried and grabbed Zhou Zhengyan's hand and begged for mercy: "Dad, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Only then did Zhou Zhengyan stop. He still felt that his anger was still there, so Zhou Jingze locked himself in the basement in a distraught state, and even locked it despite his son's crying.

Zhou Jingze cried until six o'clock in the morning, wanting to go out, the surrounding was dirty and damp, and it was pitch black again. He was cold and hungry in the basement, but naively wanted to go on a hunger strike.

The nanny told Zhou Zhengyan about this. He had been seeking help for financing and failed in the past two days. He was so annoyed that he kicked through the basement door and beat him severely with his belt.

Zhou Jingze recalled, as if caught in the scene at that time, covering his heart and gasping for breath, a trembling voice came from the voice-over:

"What did he say when he hit you?"

Zhou Jingze's face turned pale, his limbs felt cold, his head was leaning against the wall, and his tone was weak: "You bastard, you've been embarrassing me all day long."

The water-soaked leather belt lashed his body one after another, Zhou Jingze felt his clothes being worn away, and his flesh felt like being scraped by a knife blade. The pain made him almost pass out.

He still had a high fever and his head was dizzy, as if his nerve perception was not his own.

A pair of shiny leather shoes appeared in front of him, Zhou Zhengyan grabbed his hair and stared at him: "Do you know where I am wrong?"

"I shouldn't have bothered you."

At this moment, Zhou Jing was dying, leaning his back against the wall, subconsciously embracing himself, taking a self-safe posture, and subconsciously repeating this sentence.

"I'm sorry, Senior Brother Guan." Xu Sui couldn't bear it anymore, tears fell down, he covered the camera hidden in the corner, and threw away the communicator beside his ear.

Xu Sui couldn't take it anymore, the embarrassed side of her most proud and wanton teenager was seen by others.

What he needs should be flowers and applause.

Sounds kept coming out, and black spiders crawled over one after another. Zhou Jingze raised his hand to cover his ears, but in a trance, someone stopped him. He unconsciously repeated some messy words, unable to tell who said it.

"You can't get out." A male voice said viciously.

"Okay, the exit is there." A soft female voice remembered.

"You are a frustrated person, you might as well die." Someone reminded him repeatedly.

Zhou Jingze felt that he had difficulty breathing, was strangled by a strong hand, was entangled by poisonous snakes, fell into the abyss, and could not move.

"You are not." The female voice sounded again, and a hot tear dripped on the back of his hand.

Zhou Jingze was imprisoned for two days and two nights. In the end, he developed a high fever and opened his eyes in a daze. Spiders crawled around his feet. He backed away in fear. The surroundings were bottomless, like a huge black box. It was immobilizing, and it seemed like he would never be able to get out.

"I can't get out." Zhou Jingze's lips were pale.

Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead, Zhou Jingze's eyelashes drooped, his lips were pale, he was panting, his whole body was confused, and a gentle voice tried to call him:

"Zhou Jingze, look, there is light."

Xu Sui squatted in front of him, finding a lighter somewhere, Zhou Jingze raised his eyes belatedly, their eyes collided, a cluster of orange flames shot up, illuminating a face with red lips and white teeth, a pair of The clear and dark eyes only focused on him.

The surrounding tinnitus dissipated, the heartbeat gradually calmed down, and the crumbling flame in front of him was like a dim star with light.

"God said let there be light, so there was light."

Zhou Jingze's eyes darkened, and he couldn't hold on any longer, and he plunged into a warm embrace.