Confession (Ying Cheng)

Chapter 79: Confess that my whole youth is you

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The high school reunion was scheduled for Friday, and after work, Xu Sui returned home and put on her makeup. When she carefully traced her lips in front of the mirror, she was a little dazed looking at the charming face in the mirror.

Who would have thought that what she hated most in the past was looking in the mirror, with a dull, acne-prone face, and often buried it in the large school uniform.

He hurried past the laughing and chatting boys in the corridor with his head down. Out of his corner of the eye was the figure who was cheering for him on the court.

I often hope that no one can notice her, and hope that he can notice her.

Xu Sui regained consciousness and found that the lipstick was a little off. She took out a tissue and went to the mirror to wipe off the excess lipstick.

At a quarter past eight in the evening, Xu Sui appeared at Waiting Qiulai Hotel. When she opened the door and went in, there were already a dozen people inside.

When Xu Sui went in, she was actually a little nervous. In high school, she had a quiet and introverted personality, and followed the principle of "studying hard". She spent most of her time dealing with papers, so she basically had no friends.

As soon as she entered, the people in the venue were stunned for a moment, and the squad leader was the first to react and said: "Xu Sui, you have changed so much, you are so beautiful, I almost didn't recognize it."

"I heard that you are working in Puren now, so I can see you when I see a doctor." Someone interjected.

Xu Sui smiled, and was about to answer when he leaned his head forward with a smile on his face: "Beautiful sister, don't you remember me, sports committee member Wang Jian, when you asked for the 3,000-meter sports meeting, no one reported it. Fortunately, you are kind. Saved me for this project, come in and sit."

"Remember, after all, my leg was disabled for a week." Xu Sui joked.

Xu Sui walked in, stretched out a hand from the group of girls, and said, "At the same table, come here quickly, I have reserved a seat for you."

She glanced over and saw that it was her old high school deskmate. Not long after Xu Sui sat there, people came in one after another.

In the three years of high school, and nearly ten years later, everyone has changed.

The topic changed from ambiguity between boys and girls when they were students, who wore a shorter skirt, to scolding the boss for being an idiot, and who got married.

Zhou Jingze, Cong Yurong and others arrived late. As soon as they came in, the place heated up, and someone joked: "Master Zhou and Banhua came together."

Cong Yurong was about to answer the conversation with a smile, when a tired voice came in, Zhou Jingze kicked the nearest boy, and laughed softly: "Go to your mother, I met you at the door."

After finishing speaking, he raised his eyes and looked at Xu Sui who was not far away. His gaze was domineering and straightforward. Xu Sui also looked back at him, and the two of them stared at each other for a while.

She looked away first.

Xu Sui was sitting there chatting with her deskmate. Suddenly, a woman in a beige coat, thin-rimmed glasses, fair skin, and light-colored boots walked in.

It's Zhong Ling.

Zhong Ling walked up to Xu Sui, said hello, and asked, "Is there anyone beside you?"

Xu Sui froze for a moment, shook his head, and said, "No."

Zhong Ling sat down beside her, and Xu Sui could smell the faint scent of perfume on her body. She didn't expect Zhong Ling to come, and they lost contact after the college entrance examination. To be precise, it was Zhong Ling who unilaterally blocked her QQ account, and also canceled her campus network account.

Becoming friends with Zhong Ling is a coincidence.

In the third year of high school, the art students came back to study, the seats of the whole class were changed, and a one-on-one-help system was implemented. As a music student, Zhong Ling needed to make up for cultural lessons, so Xu Sui became her deskmate.

After some contact, Xu Sui found that Zhong Ling and her personality were very similar, they were both mild-tempered, sensitive and slow-warming. Frame, often sleeps and fugues, I don't know what I'm thinking.

Until one time they had a power outage in this building.

As soon as the lights went out, the whole building cheered for joy. The floor was almost broken by them. Someone took the opportunity to run to the window and yelled. Some even threw the test paper on the ground and stomped a few times to vent their anger.

The English teacher in the class tapped the table with a ruler amidst the wild cheers, and announced: "Twenty minutes of self-study, and school will be dismissed before the electricity comes.

As soon as the voice fell, there were even more cheers and screams, and the decibels were so loud that the roof was about to be blown off.

When the English teacher went to the toilet, the boys in the back row of the class were already restless and in a mess. The group of boys headed by Zhou Jingze picked up the football under their feet, kicked open the crumbling door behind them, and strode away go out.

Xu Sui was cleaning up the messy desk by the brightness of the moonlight, and the back desk poked her back with a pen, asking for a water-based pen. Xu follower took out a black pen from his pen bag and turned around, but from the corner of his eye, he glanced at the broad-shouldered, tall and thin boy who was walking casually and wearing a black T-shirt.

He was chewing gum indiscriminately, holding a silver lighter in his right hand, and from time to time orange flames burst out, illuminating the tattoo on the back of his hand.

Z & Heliotrope

Arrogant and extraordinarily attractive.

Class 4 next door was the homeroom teacher, so well-behaved, they spontaneously sang Jay Chou's "Qi Li Xiang", just when they sang "It rains all night, my love overflows like rain", Zhou Jingze came to the back door of Class 4 slowly with his pocket in his pocket , knocked on the glass window, and said with a carefree smile:

"Stop singing, go play football."

The black figure had already disappeared around the corner. Xu Sui lowered his eyelids and looked away. After a while, Zhong Ling came over and asked, "Skipping class to go to the playground?"

Oddly enough, the good student nodded his head in such a casual manner.

The two held hands and sneaked to the school playground. They found a piece of clean green grass and sat down, watching the boys opposite them play football on the field.

The summer night was still a bit stuffy, and there were unknown insects chirping around, Xu Sui used the test paper to slap his hot cheeks.

Zhong Ling suddenly said in a daze: "Do you know why I changed my career to study art?"

"Why?" Xu Sui answered.

"Because of one person." Zhong Ling looked over.

Xu Sui was sitting on the green grass, hugging his knees and following her gaze. Zhou Jingze changed his clothes at some point. He was wearing a fiery red jersey, black pants, and Nike sports stockings. His calf muscles were firm, and his lines were smooth and pretty.

With a ball under his feet, Zhou Jingze kept running forward, like a vigorous leopard, with sweat dripping from his forehead, he directly lifted a corner of his collar to wipe the sweat casually, exuding a carefree and generous atmosphere.

Xu Sui rested his chin on his knees, his heart tightened, and he asked tentatively, "Zhou Jingze?"

Zhong Ling nodded and said, "Yes."

Xu Sui smiled, yes, nothing surprising, everyone loves Zhou Jingze.

Later, Zhong Ling didn't know whether it was out of trust or lack of someone to confide in, she told Xu Sui about her secret girlish thoughts.

Zhong Ling said that she had been secretly in love with Zhou Jingze since junior high school, and she knew that under that cynical face that always showed others with a smile, it was actually just a mask, hiding kindness and sincerity inside.

Zhong Ling and her father had a big fight when she changed to study music in the middle of high school. Because this is a very risky thing. First of all, she is slower than other art students, and her talent is not enough.

Others have already reached the middle, and she has just reached the beginning.

But she doesn't regret it at all.

During the art class, Zhong Ling could listen to him playing the cello openly, secretly recorded his "Serenade" with his mobile phone and listened to it secretly repeatedly at home at night.

When Zhou Jingze was in class, he would occasionally call her "Hey, class is over." Although he didn't even remember her name, Zhong Ling's heartbeat was still racing, and she frantically stuffed the test papers into the drawer and followed him out of the classroom.

"But he should never see me." Zhong Ling chased the running figure on the court with his eyes, and smiled wryly.

Xu Sui held her hand, lowered his eyes and said softly, "I understand."

Zhong Ling gave her a strange look.

After the college entrance examination, Zhong Ling did not confess his love to Zhou Jingze. Not long after, she deleted Xu Sui's contact information. Xu Sui guessed that Zhong Ling didn't just delete her alone, he probably wanted to get rid of the past.

Sure enough, Zhong Ling later canceled the social account of the campus network, and the homepage was blank.

Suddenly, a voice pulled Xu Sui back from his thoughts. Holding a glass of sparkling wine, she opened her eyelashes slightly: "What?"

Zhong Ling asked her, "I ask where you work now?"

"Puren," Xu Sui raised his hand and took a sip of sparkling wine, feeling the taste of carbonic acid between his lips and teeth, "What about you?"

Zhong Ling gave a rare smile, and she said, "I'm in the Rainbow Choir, and I'm the violinist."

"Very good." Xu Sui responded.

Besides, she didn't know what to say.

People arrived one after another, and between meals, it was inevitable to exchange cups and compete secretly. When she was seated, Xu Sui deliberately kept a distance from Zhou Jingze. It happened that Zhong Ling was on her right and Wang Jian, the sports committee member, was on her left.

As Zhou Jingze is a man of the school, everyone's topic centered around him at the beginning. Someone asked him: "Master Zhou, I heard that you are still young, with four stripes on your shoulders, and you are already a captain."

"Young and promising, I admire, admire." The squad leader cupped his fists at him.

Zhou Jingze held the square wine glass, swirled the wine in it, and twitched the corner of his mouth:

"Unemployed now."

Everyone in the venue, except Xu Sui, laughed and clinked glasses with him, with envious eyes: "What's the matter, go back and inherit the family property, right?"

"That's right, Boss Zhou, is there any security guard position in your group, I will take it."

These flattery were more or less mixed with envy, Zhou Jingze still looked loose, he didn't intend to explain, and there was no need to, the corners of his lips pulled a slight arc to pass the topic.

Sitting next to Xu Sui, Wang Jian, the Sports Commissioner on the left, was very enthusiastic. He asked her if she wanted some water, and then took the initiative to add vegetables to her bowl.

Xu Sui was a little overwhelmed by the enthusiasm.

This scene happened to be seen by the class monitor, and a group of loud voices began to boo; "Jianjian, I'm so thirsty, please pour me a glass of water."

"Jianjian, you are eccentric, why do you only take care of classmate Xu." A male classmate shouted while pinching his throat.

Wang Jian subdued the booing crowd, and laughed and scolded: "Go away, don't you have no hands or feet?"

The atmosphere was noisy, and suddenly a colder and lower voice, braving stubble, shouted, "Wang Jian."

"Here!" Wang Jian was talking with others, and replied reflexively when he heard the words.

As soon as Wang Jian said this, the laughter grew louder, and some people even knocked on the bowl with chopsticks. The squad leader spat: "Did you fucking think that you are still in Master Zhou's team and you are used to being under his command?"

"That's right." Wang Jian rubbed his head in embarrassment.

Zhou Jingze took a bottle of beer and knocked it against the corner of the table. The bottle cap fell to the ground with a bang. He handed it to Wang Jian, staring at him with piercing black eyes, with a smile still on the corner of his mouth:

"Come on, let's respect those years in the stadium."

Wang Jian took it, and drank half a bottle of beer in a fog. For the next time, Zhou Jingze seemed to only target him, and poured him in different ways.

As a result, Wang Jian went to the toilet several times and vomited three times in a row.

Xu Suizheng was talking to Wang Jian, and the screen of the mobile phone on the side lit up. She picked it up and saw that it was a message from Zhou Jingze:

[Try to talk to him again.]

Xu Suixin trembled, looked up, and met a pair of long, dark eyes from a short distance away.

Zhou Jingze's eyes were unscrupulous and aggressive, looking straight over.

It wasn't until someone called him nearby that Zhou Jingze let her go temporarily.

Serving dessert after dinner, the autonomy is naturally in the hands of girls. Cong Yurong happened to be sitting next to Zhou Jingze. When she looked down at the menu, she brushed her hair casually. Seeing that her hair was about to brush Zhou Jingze's arm, the man turned sideways calmly.

I missed it.

Disappointment flashed through Yurong's beautiful eyes.

Turning his eyes from Yurong to the menu, Koudan's fingernails pointed to the large fruit platter on it, and said, "Why don't you order a large portion of mango, I like this flavor the most."

When Banhua spoke, everyone said they had no objection. Who doesn't like to accommodate beautiful women? When Cong Yurong was about to ask the waiter to order this, Zhou Jingze leaned back on the chair and suddenly spoke in a deep voice:

"I'm allergic to mangoes."

Xu Sui's eyelids trembled.

Exclaimed from the language, the red lips opened and closed: "Ah, you are allergic, then I will order something else."

A small episode ended here, and the group planned to move to the box on the top floor. The squad leader stood up, tapped the cup with his chopsticks, and said, "Comrades and lesbians, you can go and change into our Tianzhong school uniform now, and the nameplate of the third class. After opening the time machine mailbox in a while, we have to take a group photo." Woolen cloth."

"Damn, don't talk about it, I deliberately found out the school uniform at the bottom of the box at home. Guess what, the zipper can't be closed."

"Time is like a butcher's knife, it is aimed at my face."

"Today we also miss our youth, so let's call it Seventeen."

Seventeen, what a beautiful and fleeting word, it is the age of "both looking forward to and fearing" in SHE's song.

Xu Sui and Zhong Ling were relatively slow, and when they came out, there was no one in the locker room. Zhong Ling turned on the faucet, and the water poured down.

The school uniforms in Tianzhong are very typical Chinese-style school uniforms, neither the blue and white ones in idol dramas, nor the uniforms and skirts in Japanese dramas. Their school uniforms are loose and old-fashioned, and even have a kind of vulgarity.

But now that I put it on, I think it looks good again.

Xu Sui looked at himself in the mirror while tying his hair. He had a pair of black eyes, fair skin, light red lips, fine fluff on his forehead, a high ponytail, and a cyan school uniform. Pen.

Zhong Ling looked at Xu Sui in the mirror, and suddenly asked, "Are you with Zhou Jingze?"

Xu Sui paused for a moment with the hand holding the hair, put it down, and said softly: "Forget it, but how do you know?"

"The eyes, the way he looks at you," Zhong Ling smiled, and then said sharply, "Also, I remember that you are the one who is allergic to mangoes."

Xu Sui nodded, and Zhong Ling was pricked in the bottom of her heart. Seeing a boy whom she had a crush on for a long time remember other girls' allergies, she felt an indescribable feeling in her heart.

"Can you keep it secret for me, in front of my classmates... mainly me and him, it's a bit complicated now." Xu Sui said.

"You are very lucky." Zhong Ling nodded, turned off the faucet, took out a tissue and wiped her hands while walking outside. She seemed to remember something, looked at Xu Sui and said,

"Not all crushes can see the light of day."

After speaking, Zhong Ling turned around and left.

Xu Suiman, it turned out that she knew it all along.

After Xu Sui washed his hands, he also left the dressing room.

Not long after, there was a "bang" from the cubicle of the dressing room, the door was kicked open, and she came out from the language. She was holding the buttons of her white corset with one hand. Angry look.

"Sisi, guess what she will write in the time machine 'to herself in ten years'?" Cong Yurong asked the girl next to her.

"Write what?"

"A low self-esteem girl who dressed poorly and was poor and unattractive when she was a student, of course she hopes to get rid of all this," Cong Yurong rolled her eyes and said, "I will read her letter in public later."

She wanted Xu Sui to make a fool of herself.

After changing into the school uniform and pushing open the door, Xu Sui felt a little dazed, as if he had really returned to the student days when he wore the school uniform, kept writing test papers, and occasionally daydreamed after class.

Zhou Jingze was wearing a loose school uniform with the front of his clothes open, holding a can of beer in his hand, his wrist bones were clearly protruding, and others didn't know what he said, and he had a wild smile on his face.

There is a nameplate pinned to the left side of his chest, with his name engraved stroke by stroke:

Senior One (Three) Class Zhou Jingze

Still that frivolous and reckless boy.

It seems to have really passed through.

It wasn't until the squad leader made a sound that she came back to her senses and found an empty seat on the sofa to sit in. Xu Sui leaned over to get a can of drink, but just as he stretched out his hand, a cold fingertip just touched the back of her hand.

Xu Sui looked at him.

Zhou Jingze also looked at her.

"Old rules, when you play games, if you lose the truth or dare, the truth is to read the second-year speech I wrote ten years ago."

After a round of the game, everyone chose to read the wish they had written at the beginning, but when they actually read it, everyone laughed because the speech was so passionate.

"When I grow up, I will save the world."

"Hope to travel around the universe on Noah's Ark."

The wishes of girls are not so unconstrained. Their wishes are "to have a good job and someone who loves them", or "to be more beautiful and rich".

Xu Sui remembered that the Time Mailbox activity was initiated by the squad leader in her third year of high school. She was sick and asked for leave that day and did not pay it. She did not contact anyone else after the college entrance examination, so she forgot about it.

Until the first semester of freshman year, they organized a party, and the monitor urged him to hand over the letter. Xu Sui was very busy at that time, he wrote a letter in a hurry and sent it.

In the second round of the game, Xu Sui lost the first game. She also chose a safe way and said, "Read the letter."

She should have written some sentences wishing for world peace and a stable life.

The literary and art committee found Xu Sui's letter from a pile of envelopes, saw a sun drawn on the envelope, and then it was crossed off again. Not long after, another sun appeared next to it and looked puzzled.

She opened the envelope, stumbled and read:

"ZJZ, hello, I'm Xu Sui, and I'm also your classmate. Maybe you'll laugh at me for such an old-fashioned thing like writing a confession—"

Xu Sui's heart skipped a beat. She actually sent the wrong letter, and the letter that had not been sent out and repeatedly altered appeared here.

She subconsciously wanted to ask her to take the letter back, but it was too late, and the voices of talking and gossip around were getting louder. From the language, they even leaned over to watch.

Everyone around laughed, and someone said: "Who put it in the wrong place, sent the confession letter by mistake."

"ZJZ, who is this, Zhao Jianzheng, someone has a crush on you!"

"Wow, let me tell you something, writing a letter is really old-fashioned." Someone laughed.

There was a lot of noise around, and no one cared what the content of the letter was. Singing, whistles, and the sound of wine glasses colliding were intertwined, and the content of the letter had long been drowned out.

Suddenly, with a "snap", Zhou Jingze directly threw a glass on the table and smashed it to the ground, the fragments flew. He sat there with his elbows on his thighs, raised his eyelids and looked at everyone present. , with hostility and dark emotions in his eyes, he spoke slowly:

"Is it funny?"

The scene fell silent instantly. They didn't know why Zhou Jingze got angry suddenly, but they still didn't dare to speak.

The literary and art committee read the letter again. There were still small voices around them, they didn't take it seriously, but at the end, the arena was so quiet that even a needle could be heard, and everyone stopped talking and fell silent in unison.

The literary and art committee member had a nice voice. I don't know if she was emotionally infected or what, but she read seriously and emotionally, with a very slow tone, and said word by word:

Hello ZJZ, I'm Xu Sui, and I'm also your classmate. Maybe you will laugh at me for such a corny thing as writing a confession letter.

I like the figure of you wearing a fiery red jersey, wearing wristbands and galloping to the goal to win the scream. I like the way you are frivolous and frank, talking about your ideals on the stage. I like the way you lose your temper and smoke silently. Finish what you left behind.

I even like your frowning eyebrows, and your sloppy smile when you play tricks on people.

I will think of you when the weather is good, and I will think of you when I see the sunset. The white test paper is you, and the blue compassionate shirt is you.

It's me who turns to peek at you every Monday morning and has a sore neck, and it's me who eavesdrops on you playing the cello on the top floor when it rains heavily.

No one knows, my whole youth is you.

What can I use to keep you.

When you used to play the cello, you wanted to be able to see ordinary and ordinary shadows as soon as you lowered your head.

I want to be the ice mist that you like to drink carbonated drinks after playing golf. It is easy to dissipate but remains in your memory.

Later, you become a pilot, flying tens of thousands of feet, passing through the desert, crossing the flight path, and seeing the vast universe. Want to be a star, a star that you catch a glimpse of in your daily flight.

Even if it is dim and inconspicuous.

It is said that the secret love in youth has no name, so I only dare to write your name in abbreviation.

Not Z, J, Z, but Zhou, Jing, Ze.

This is the first time I have repeatedly practiced calling your name, and this time I finally bravely called it out.

Zhou Jingze, I like you.

Did you hear that