On Monday, a working day, the weather is getting more and more sunny.
As soon as the sun shines in, people's mood will improve. She and Zhou Jingze were about to settle down, and everything seemed to be going in a good direction.
When Xu Sui was sorting out materials in the office, the nurse knocked on her door and said with a smile:
"Doctor Xu, Director Zhang from our surgery department is looking for you."
Xu Sui's fingers just stopped on the page, he paused, and nodded: "Okay."
After the nurse passed by, Xu Sui put down his work, put his hands in his pockets and came to the director's office, and knocked on the door with his hands free.
A gentle male voice came from inside: "Come in."
Xu Sui pushed his hand away and walked in, put his hand on the doorknob, and said with a smile: "Teacher, I heard that you are looking for me."
"Come, sit." Director Zhang raised his finger and pointed to the seat in front of him.
Xu Sui nodded, walked over and pulled out the chair to sit down.
Director Zhang put down the thermos cup in his hand and took out a medical record from the side.
"Don't you know that the patient you are about to take over was personally received by the dean, and he recommended you to the patient's family members. After all, surgical removal of malignant gallbladder tumors is your specialty." Director Zhang said to her with a smile on his face. .
Xu Sui took over the medical records, looked at ten lines at a glance, and saw that the patient's previous case diagnosis was gallbladder malignant tumor, which was not discovered too late, and the risk was that the patient was older and had three highs.
Still a disabled person.
Xu Sui moved his eyelids, and a bad premonition slowly formed in his heart.
A pair of apricot eyes swept to the top of the medical record book, where the patient column read: Song Fangzhang.
Her pupils constricted suddenly, her fingertips clutched a corner of the case paper, her fingernails turned white, and the expression on her face was stunned.
She couldn't hear clearly what the director said next to her, her ears were buzzing, her ears were ringing, and she was in a sad mood.
It took a long time for Xu Suicai to come out of that emotion. Her eyes were blank, and it took a long time to focus. Director Zhang, who was about to speak, said in a calm voice:
"Sorry, teacher, I can't accept this operation."
What Director Zhang wanted to say choked in his throat, he didn't react, and subconsciously frowned. He had been a doctor for decades, and he hadn't seen such a big storm. It was very rare for a doctor to refuse a patient.
What's more, the other party is Xu Sui, she is young and courageous, and needs more experience in surgery.
"Nonsense, how can there be any reason for a doctor to refuse to treat a patient?!" The expression on Director Zhang's face was not very good,
Xu Sui's lips turned pale, her throat tightened, and she struggled to organize her words:
"I have my own personal reasons."
When Director Zhang heard this, he became even angrier. He seldom said harsh words, and his tone was full of hope and expectation:
"If you choose this profession, you can't play with your temper. The duty of a doctor is to save lives and heal the wounded. You must have compassion. Besides, do you still need to evaluate your professional title in the future? An operation is an experience. The teacher hopes that you can always progress… "
Xu Sui pulled out the chair and stood up. The stool's feet rubbed against the ground and made a sharp and piercing sound. She bowed to Director Zhang, with a forced smile on her lips:
"I still refuse."
After speaking, Xu Sui left the office without looking back.
When eating in the cafeteria at noon, Xu Sui looked at the bright dishes on the plate and lost his appetite at all.
Thinking of going to work in the afternoon, Xu Sui forcefully stuffed a few mouthfuls of food in, but his mind flashed past the name in the medical record in the morning.
Feeling nauseated in his stomach, Xu Sui put down his knife and fork, covered his mouth and hurried towards the toilet.
Xu Sui retched on the toilet for a few minutes, the blood in his head was flushed down, his eyes were sour, and his lacrimal glands were stimulated and he burst into tears.
It's really disgusting.
After vomiting, Xu Sui walked to the sink, turned on the faucet, and white water rushed down.
She stretched out her hand to take a handful of cold water and splashed it directly on her face, her cheeks were suddenly frozen, she became numb and lost consciousness.
Xu Sui's eyelashes were glued to the water and she couldn't open her eyes. She lay her head sideways on the washbasin, staring at the white woven lamp on the ceiling in a daze.
With a "ding", the phone in his pocket rang. Xu Sui took it out to see that it was a message from Zhou Jingze.
[I'll pick you up after you get off work. Is there anything you want to eat, huh?]
When Zhou Jingze sent this message, he was sitting in the office of Mr. Gu, the controller of his college days.
Old Gu saw him staring at the phone, the corners of his lips turned up unconsciously, and asked:
"You boy, are you texting your girlfriend?"
Zhou Jingze turned off the phone screen and smiled unconsciously: "Yes, you have seen her before. Her name is Xu Sui."
"Oh, I've seen it?" Old Gu thought about it seriously.
Zhou Jingze chuckled, recalled something, and said, "It was the time when I was flying with Gao Yang in college. You made a bet with Instructor Zhang. Didn't you bet on me to win me? In the end, you gave me the 200 yuan as a competition bonus .”
"I bought her candy."
Old Gu suddenly realized, pointed at him with his finger: "You boy—"
Zhou Jingze sat there laughing and continued chatting with the teacher.
Finally, when he picked up the cigarettes and lighter on the coffee table and was about to leave, Lao Gu stopped him.
"Think about what I said, the sky still belongs to you."
Zhou Jingze squeezed the cigarette case unconsciously, and smiled at him:
"Thank you, I will think about it."
Xu Sui had a fragmented dream during his lunch break in the office.
In the dream, she was still in junior high school in Liying, and she was shut up at home by her mother on weekends, not allowed to go out or watch TV, so she could only sit by the small window and do her homework.
Song Zhishu brought a group of girls downstairs to her house and threw stones into the window of her room, laughing at her while throwing:
"The murderer's daughter!"
"Why don't you go to hell with your dad!"
Xu Sui hid under the corner of the table, hugging her knees, trying to put herself into a safe posture, she murmured to herself:
"My dad is not."
"My dad is a good man."
…
Finally, Xu Sui woke up from the nightmare and broke out in a cold sweat.
Before seeing a doctor in the afternoon, Xu Sui reorganized his emotions and devoted his mind to his work.
When the wall clock on the wall pointed to almost six o'clock, Xu Sui glanced at the appointment number on the computer screen, and it was gone.
Xu Sui threw the pen aside, raised his hand and pressed the brow bone, picked up the cup beside him and stood up to stretch his muscles.
There was a rhythmic knock on the door, and Xu Suizheng raised his hand to break his stiff neck, with a gentle voice:
"Enter."
The doorknob turned forward and made a "click" sound, and someone walked in.
Xu Sui just put down the glass. She thought it was a colleague or a leader, and subconsciously raised her eyes. When she saw the person coming, her smile froze at the corner of her mouth.
Song Zhishu was wearing a white fluffy coat, high boots and jeans, and a commuter bag in his elbow. Under his delicate makeup, he had a haggard smile that couldn't be concealed.
"Long time no see, Xu Sui." Song Zhishu took the initiative to show his favor.
Xu Sui pinched the handle of the spoon with his fingers, lowered his eyes, and said in a cold voice, "I'm off work. If you go out to see a doctor, turn right."
She didn't even bother to play around.
Xu Sui took off her white coat, hung it on the hanger, put on her coat, picked up her scarf, and stuffed her glasses into her bag. Before leaving, she deliberately opened the window for ventilation.
A large area of cold air rushed in, and Song Zhishu shrank his shoulders while standing there.
Xu Sui stuffed his hands into his pockets, didn't look at Song Zhishu the whole time, and brushed past her shoulders as if she was nothing.
"I'm here today...to apologize to you," Zhishu Song sniffed his nose, unable to hide the tiredness under his eyelids, "Our family is really sorry for the harm we have caused you."
Xu Sui paused, looked back at her, and said calmly:
"I don't accept your apology."
After finishing speaking, Xu Sui walked out. She had just walked out of the corridor less than ten steps away when Song Zhishu chased her up from behind on high heels.
Song Zhishu grabbed her hand and said loudly, "I received news today that you rejected my dad's operation. Will your doctor bring his personal emotions to the operating table?"
"If it's because of the harm I caused you before, I apologize to you. I really can't... I'll kneel down for you," Song Zhishu grabbed her hand, tears streaming down his face, "My dad...is a living life ah."
Xu Sui withdrew his hand when he heard the words, looked at her with quiet eyes, and said with blood in every word:
"Then what about my dad... Isn't my dad's life his life?"
At the same time Xu Sui withdrew her hand, Song Zhishu lost his support and fell to the ground. She hurriedly grabbed Xu Sui's sleeve to prevent her from leaving.
Song Zhishu's strength was great, and Xu Sui couldn't break free no matter what. As he pulled and pulled, more and more patients surrounded him.
People who didn't know thought that Xu Suizai was embarrassing the patient.
Song Zhishu grabbed Xu Sui's hand to prevent him from leaving, Xu Sui was angry and embarrassed.
Suddenly, an oppressive shadow fell, and a strong hand separated the two hands. Zhou Jingze took Xu Sui and carried him behind him. Looking down at the woman sitting on the ground, he spoke slowly:
"Don't rely on your weak status as a patient or a family member of a patient to do whatever you want."
Zhou Jingze held the phone in the other hand, and looked at Xu Sui:
"What about the security measures in your hospital, do you want to call the police?"
"Forget it, let's go." Xu Sui shook his head and pulled Zhou Jingze away.
In the car, Xu Sui was sitting in the co-pilot, obviously in a depressed mood, and kept silent.
"Do you want to talk?" Zhou Jingze raised his hand to touch her cheek and said, "If you don't want to talk, eat something first."
"Pineapple bun or frosted hawthorn first?"
When the person you like is gentle with you, the grievance in your heart will be magnified.
Xu Sui raised his eyes to look at Zhou Jingze, and said softly, "I don't know if I did something wrong. That person in the hospital just now, her father is going to have an operation, but I refused."
"Her father's life was saved by my father, but instead of being grateful, they also said that my father had neglected his duties and that I was the daughter of a murderer." Xu Sui smiled wryly.
When Xu's father was on a mission, he died in the fire due to an accident.
At that time, a fire suddenly broke out in Liying City North Chemical Plant, and the fire brigade rushed to the rescue. When they arrived, the firehouse licked the corner of the wall and ignited a raging fire.
Screams mixed with heart-piercing sounds. Xu's father rushed into the fire and went back and forth, saving four or five people.
The last person Xu's father hurried to rescue was Song Fangzhang. At that time, he was already exhausted, but he still supported his body and came out with Song Fangzhang on his back.
When he walked to the front door, Xu's father staggered and fell to the ground, and Song Fangzhang on his back was also thrown to the ground.
Unexpectedly, the beams of the house collapsed suddenly, hitting Song Fangzhang's thigh.
Song Fangzhang let out a heart-piercing scream, Xu's father moved over, dragged the man out with his bare hands, and helped him out again.
This time he paid attention to everything, and when he was about to go out, the fire house spread faster, Xu's father realized that something was wrong, and pushed him out.
The building collapsed, and Xu's father remained in the fire forever.
At that time, Xu Sui was just in the third year of junior high school, and his father even said that he had bought a birthday present for his Yi Yi before he left for the mission.
As a result, he never came back the next day.
The whole family was in the grief of losing their loved ones. While comforting her, the people around them secretly tied her up emotionally:
"Your mother will be alone in the future, you must listen to her."
Xu Sui nodded, and promised in his heart that he would definitely be his mother's good daughter.
But things were far from that simple. When Xu Suiben returned to school after the funeral, she found that the way people around her looked at her had changed.
She is isolated.
Xu Sui didn't say anything, and endured all this silently. When she was sitting at the desk and doing her homework, Song Zhishu suddenly rushed over, tore off her homework book, and cried loudly:
"My dad has become disabled! Why did your dad neglect his duty, carry him out and throw him to the ground?"
"You are the daughter of a martyr now, and you can receive a pension. What about my family? My whole family is raised by my father alone. What should we do now?"
"It's all your fault, your dad deserves to be a firefighter, so he's ashamed to say sacrifice!"
"But I don't have a father anymore." Xu Sui said softly, shedding a tear.
As a result, Song Zhishu gave her a resounding slap in the face.
Then Xu Sui ushered in a year and a half of campus violence.
She has a soft personality and a good temper. Song Zhishuliao will bring her classmates to bully her in different ways if she doesn't complain.
At that time, the basic three views of adolescent children had not yet formed. They grew up in a small town, and they were simple and barbaric at the same time.
They tried Xu Sui together with Song Zhishu, not to say that they were right or wrong.
Instead, he simply enjoys the pleasure of judging a person.
Xu Sui often received dead toads in the drawer, or her homework was stuck by chewing gum, and when she went to the toilet, she was locked behind her back, and her whole body was soaked in mop water.
At first she would scream and cry in terror, but slowly became numb.
Mother Xu only found out about this when she received a report from a young intern teacher in the first half of the first semester of senior high school.
She ran to the school to make a fuss, and pressed Song Zhishu's head to force her to apologize.
In the end, this matter was aroused by Xu's mother's tough attitude, and the higher-ups began to pay attention, so Song Zhishu hurriedly apologized.
Xu's mother sent Xu Sui to Beijing for his mental health and learning environment.
This was Xu Sui's first transfer.
Because of the long-term pressure, Xu Sui felt inferior in his heart, and his set of values gradually wavered.
At that time, she often walked with her head down and even a little hunched over her chest, for fear that others would notice her and give her pointers.
Meeting Zhou Jingze on the day of transfer was the first kindness she received.
At that time, Xu Sui had just transferred to Tianzhong, sick, gloomy, and gloomy. He was wearing a light-colored skirt, and even introduced himself on stage.
I am afraid that the people here are the same as Li Ying.
Laugh at her, talk about her, look at her with strange eyes.
Although nothing like this happened that day, no one in the class paid attention to her, and everyone ignored her.
Xu Sui was extremely cramped and frustrated.
Only Zhou Jingze.
A boy in a black T-shirt and a school uniform coat was twirling a basketball in his hand. He stood in front of her against the light and asked her if she didn't have a stool.
He also ran up and down five floors for her, and found a new stool for Xu Sui.
The cicadas chirped enthusiastically, and a large piece of light flooded in.
With the wind blowing, the boy rushed to play, his eyes hurriedly passed her, and he nodded in a friendly way with the corners of his lips raised.
He became her light.
When Xu Sui adopted 1017 when she was in college, Hu Qianxi asked her why, and she said that animals are more grateful than humans.
So when he saw Li Hao ridiculing her father as a martyr in a sarcasm at the university, Xu Sui would show his thorns.
Her father obviously tried his best to save people.
After she came out to work, she worked hard to be excellent and responsible, thinking that it was enough to fulfill her responsibilities on the job. The instructor kept saying that she didn't have the compassion to be a doctor.
During Xu Sui's speech, the emotions he had suppressed for many years finally couldn't bear it, and he broke down and cried:
"What's wrong with this world, so that I can't tell whether it's good or bad."
For so many years, there was not even a bouquet of flowers from the Song family in front of his father's grave.
Xu Sui sat on the co-pilot, holding his face in his hands, tears kept falling from the cracks.
Zhou Jingze lowered his head, swiped his thumb, wiped her tears, and hugged her into his arms:
"Listen to me, no one is qualified to forgive them for you."
"But most of it is good. The delivery man I met the day before yesterday delivered a portion of noodles, and the soup was spilled on the way. He broke down and cried. He was afraid that the customer would give a bad review. At three o'clock in the morning, he tried his best to reject it. I rushed back in the cold wind, and planned to buy another compensation for the guests, but the boss gave him a waiver, and he said—this winter is not easy for everyone, let’s get through it together.”
"Even I was treated unfairly by the industry, and framed like a brother?" Zhou Jingze twitched his lips mockingly.
"In this world, murder cases occur every 10,000 minutes on average, and child abuse exists every day, but there are also people who are willing to cheer for strangers and stick to their posts to save every life, such as you." Zhou Jingze pulled people from his arms, look at her.
"We only encountered one out of ten thousand misfortunes, but the world is still good."
Zhou Jingze spoke slowly, and at the same time, he did not know where to conjure up something. He clasped her jaw with his fingers, stroked her lips with his knuckles, and stuffed it in.
Xu Sui touched the tip of his tongue, and the coat melted in an instant, and the sweetness slowly spread between his lips and teeth, all of a sudden diluting the bitterness in his heart.
He gave her a candy.
Xu Sui looked up at him with tears in his eyes. Zhou Jingze pinched her nose and smiled softly. The sincerity in his eyes was obvious:
"Grandpa often said that we live and stick to our principles and original aspirations. Not to change the world, but to prevent the world from changing us."
The opposite side of good is evil, which exists alternately. Life is like a coin thrown to you by God. It doesn't depend on which side you turn to, but depends on which side you choose to be.
With the coin always in your palm, the limits of your game of life are up to you.