The last plate of snow konjac was poured into the soup, and the courtyard was in a mess.
After everyone finished the last few bowls of soup, they stood up and went their separate ways.
Yang Wan put away the pots and pans, fetched water and went to the yard to wash up.
Deng Ying sat on the bed with her clothes on, waiting for Yang Wan to come back.
Occasionally, a bird chirped from the vines on the wall. In the silence all around, the sound seemed even more quiet.
Soon, all the noises in the courtyard died down, and Yang Wan walked in while tying her hair with her backhand.
She was wearing slippers and clacking back and forth behind the screen.
"Wanwan, what are you doing?"
"oh."
Yang Wan responded, "I'm pouring water."
As she spoke, she came in with a pot of honey water soaked in platycodon and placed it on the bedside, "Drink it and you will sleep better."
After saying that, he sat down sideways, "Go up and sit down quickly."
Deng Ying sat on the inside. Yang Wan pulled open the cup and covered his legs. She also took off her shoes and huddled under the quilt. "After you return to the palace, will you live by the moat?"
Deng Ying shook her head, "I live behind the door of the nursing home."
“Where He Yixian lived before.”
"yes."
Yang Wan turned around and lay on her side beside Deng Ying, "From now on, I'll call you Zhang Yin Deng."
Deng Ying didn't say anything. He closed the book on his knees, reached out and placed it carefully on the head of the bed, then supported himself on the bed and knelt down.
He lowered his head, not daring to touch Yang Wan. His hands were pressed on his knees, and his cotton underwear was wrinkled.
Yang Wan also sat up and asked, "What are you doing?"
Deng Ying pinched her fingers again, "Wanwan, do you want to?"
"What are you thinking about..."
"I've showered, I'm clean."
He interrupted Yang Wan's voice, then lowered his head and closed his eyes like a man waiting to be sentenced.
Yang Wan reached out and held his hands that were on his knees, but he held on to the material of his pants tightly.
"Deng Ying, let go."
"Ah? Oh well..."
He quickly let go of her hand, and Yang Wan gently lifted his wrist, "You have a wound on your wrist."
Deng Ying rubbed her fingers, "Wanwan, I don't need to use my hands."
"I won't allow it."
After she finished speaking, she turned over and knelt down.
"Deng Ying, lie down."
Deng Ying shook her head and said, "Let me do it."
"Don't you want to hear my words?"
"No, I don't."
"Then lie down."
Deng Ying stretched out his legs and lay on his back. After he lay down, Yang Wan turned her head and blew out the lamp near the bed.
The light behind the screen was still on, shining through the screen onto the bed curtains, warm and soft.
"Close your eyes."
"Wan Wan..."
"Don't worry, just close your eyes."
Deng Ying closed her eyes and a gentle kiss fell on his forehead. At the same time, one hand awkwardly tugged at the sweat towel on his waist, apparently not knowing where the knot was. Deng Ying quickly held that hand, "Wan Wan, don't treat me like this."
The hand gently pulled out from under his palm and repeatedly pressed on the back of his hand, "Okay, then untie it yourself."
He dared not disobey Yang Wan's words.
As soon as the sweat towel was untied, he was faced with the losing situation under the clothes. Lying on Yang Wan's bed, he felt that he was not even qualified to surrender because Yang Wan would not allow him to lose.
"Relax your waist, Deng Ying."
As she spoke, her palm gently covered his wound, and then her thumb scraped the growing flesh bud. Since he took charge of the Eastern Jishi Factory, he no longer had to be "brushed" every three years like other eunuchs. The soft bones left by the torture gradually became aware, and could bring a little bit of desire and pleasure, but mostly soreness and pain. Even so, he still hoped that Yang Wan would not "pity" him.
After all, that was Yang Wan.
"Don't pinch the quilt, Deng Ying, pinch my other hand."
She said, offering him her hand.
Deng Ying was afraid of hurting her, so she only dared to loosen her grip on her fingers.
"Deng Ying, don't hold your breath, relax."
As she spoke, she gently rubbed the skin and flesh with her fingers. Deng Ying's calves cramped slightly. He unconsciously straightened his legs, lost a breath, and even gasped.
Yang Wan's hand movements gradually slowed down, and finally she gathered her five fingers between his legs.
She did not pull her hand away, but kept it there quietly, waiting for Deng Ying to calm down.
She seemed a little tired, so she simply bent down and rested her head on Deng Ying.
"Tell me when you feel better."
Deng Ying lowered her head and looked at Yang Wan's face.
The soft light fell on her face, her cheeks were slightly red, and her eyes were shining with crystal water. He couldn't help but reach out and touch Yang Wan's hair. Yang Wan's shoulders trembled, but her back softened, allowing Deng Ying's trembling hand to touch the back of her head.
"Deng Ying."
"Speak."
"You told me before that it would hurt, right?"
"Um."
"Is it better this time?"
Deng Ying shook her head and said, "Don't worry about me, Wanwan, let me do it from now on, okay?"
"You are so domineering."
After she said that, she gently pulled her hand out and placed it on Deng Ying's lower abdomen.
Deng Ying didn't say anything. She slowly propped herself up and sat up. She supported Yang Wan's body, let her lie on her side, put on her clothes, and got out of bed.
Yang Wan was a little tired, and her clothes were soaked with sweat. She coughed and said, "What are you going to do?"
"I'll go get some water."
As he spoke, he walked off the screen in his slippers.
Yang Wan listened to the clattering footsteps of Deng Ying, and her eyelids felt sore. She closed her eyes, and in the dimness, someone gently pulled her hand out from under the quilt and placed it on her knees. A warm handkerchief wrapped around her fingers,
Yang Wan forced herself to open her eyes and saw Deng Ying squatting beside the bed, lowering her head, wiping her fingers one by one.
"It's not dirty."
"It will feel better if you wipe it clean."
"You're still stupid."
"Wan Wan."
"Um?"
Deng Ying stopped what she was doing and looked up at Yang Wan.
"Why don't you want me to use my mouth..."
"Would you like me to use your mouth?"
"If I let you do that, I would rather be tortured to death."
"Deng Ying."
Yang Wan patted the back of his hand and said, "Don't say such things."
"I'm sorry Wanwan."
Yang Wan helped him stand up and sat down beside the couch. "Actually, I should be very happy if you do that, but..."
She raised her head and looked at Deng Ying who was sitting in the shade of the lamp. "It's just that I can't bear to let the person I love most in my life do something foolish when he doesn't know anything."
Deng Ying lowered her head, "Wanwan, I actually understand everything."
"Just reading those few pages of the book, you understand it?"
"I also asked..."
"Chen Hua?"
"Um."
"He is also stupid, what are they communicating about?"
Deng Ying didn't say anything else.
Yang Wan turned over and lay on her back. "It's very difficult to heal the wound on your body. I'm not very good at it. Please just be a little more careful and don't make it more difficult for me."
Deng Ying didn't understand what Yang Wan said, but she still agreed to it: "Okay."
Yang Wan hugged Deng Ying's arms that were hanging by her legs.
"When you don't have to deal with those messy books anymore, I'll let you do it."
"I have no more."
"I'm still thinking about it."
"yes."
He paused and said to himself softly, "It's me. I really want to do it like them. I want to open my heart gently."
Yang Wan said with a smile: "If you can live a freer life, I will follow you and be happy. Deng Ying, although I will take care of you for your whole life, I hope that what I give you is not compassion for a slave, Deng Xiaoying..."
Yang Wan shook Deng Ying's arm. "I respect you first, then I love you. I used to be a very proud person. I couldn't even compare to people like Zhang Luo. I had to protect my self-esteem."
"I see."
"I don't understand."
"I… "
"Deng Ying, all my humility towards the Ming Dynasty comes from my humility. You never look down on me, and I am willing to respect myself."
She said no more, but her hand refused to let go of Deng Ying's arm.
Deng Ying lay on her back next to her, repeating what she was about to say over and over in her mind.
"I can't bear to let the person I love most in my life act foolishly when he doesn't know anything."
"If you live a freer life, I will follow you and become more open-minded."
"I respect you first, then I love you."
"All my humility towards the Ming Dynasty stems from my humility. I will never belittle myself, and I will respect myself."
These sentences do not have an ancient and elegant style, and sometimes even make Deng Ying feel a little strange.
But over the past three or four years, he seemed to have gradually gotten used to it.
She always spoke sincerely. Even though Deng Ying sometimes couldn't fully understand the meaning of her words, she could still be healed by her attitude.
As he thought about it, he couldn't help but look at Yang Wan from the side.
Yang Wan was already fast asleep. She seemed to be too tired, so her breathing was heavy. She coughed once or twice, causing her shoulders and back to tremble slightly.
Deng Ying pulled up the quilt behind Yang Wan and gently wrapped her up in it. She shrank back inside like a cat greedy for warmth.
His face was red and he looked a little haggard.
Deng Ying wanted to move the pillow down a little so that she could lean more comfortably, but she accidentally saw the notes she had placed under the pillow.
The notes are spread out.
The page that was opened happened to be the picture of Deng Ying drawn by Yang Wan.
She colored it, but the skin color was obviously a failure, the hair looked a little yellow, and the blue-gray color of the clothes was exactly the same as what she usually wore. The eyes were smudged, making it look uglier, but Yang Wan seemed quite satisfied with it, and even wrote inscriptions and stamped in the corner like a painter.
Deng Ying looked at the seal carefully. The words on it were very simple, just the two words "Yang Wan".
The word "cover" was printed under it, and as if to remind her of herself, it was circled with ink.
Deng Ying carefully helped her put away the notes and placed them next to Yang Wan's pillow.
At this moment, he didn't know what the woman who had been "indulging" him in his suicidal behavior wanted to do for him.
He just liked the painting that made him look a little ugly. After all, throughout his life, he could only hope that his own appearance would appear in the official documents of the imperial court for the punishment of criminals.