How should I pursue a woman with whom I had lived for decades in Ming Dynasty in the 21st century
After all, my mentality and yours are different.
Someone once told me that because we know the outcome of history, we are born in despair in the face of the bright future.
However, when the four words "born in despair" came out of my mouth, they didn't sound heavy. Just like my usual way of dealing with people, I always made light of heavy things. It never made people feel tired, and it always gave me vigorous vitality.
Now, I want to repay the four words "born in despair".
So Wanwan, just forget me if you want to. Live confidently in the 21st century and let me come to find you.
But what should I do once I find you
**
The recovery period for my fracture surgery was longer than I thought. By the time I could move freely, it was almost April. I took the initiative to apply to the hospital to transfer to a long-term project in Chengdu. The project there was short of people for a long time, and the hospital agreed as soon as I mentioned it.
When I went home to pack my luggage, my mother hesitated to speak to me several times throughout the night.
I squatted beside the bed and folded my shirts while asking, "Mom, what do you want to say?"
My mother sat next to me and said, "No one will take care of you if you go that far."
I put the shirt in the suitcase and looked up at him and said, "I have someone I want to take care of. He's in Chengdu."
My mother was stunned for a moment, then immediately started laughing again and asked me in a low voice, "Are you in love?"
I shook my head. "Not yet. It's really good, but I don't know how to pursue it."
My mother slapped the bed and said, "I knew your personality wouldn't be popular with girls. You're always sullen."
I nodded and smiled and said, "Yes."
My mother raised her voice and shouted outside: "Old Deng..."
My dad was washing dishes in the kitchen. He walked into my room while wiping his hands and asked, "What's going on?"
My mother snorted and patted the bed, saying, "Come and sit down."
Seeing my mom's serious attitude, my dad thought he had done something wrong and sat across from her nervously, "What's wrong?"
"My son has someone he likes."
"Oh, really?"
I nodded. “Yeah.”
My dad quickly took off his apron and said, "Okay, bring it back whenever you want, and I'll make something delicious for you."
My mother interrupted him and said, "You brought her back. Your son is so stupid that he doesn't even know how to chase someone else."
"Then... Then I..."
"As a father, you should teach him how you pursued me back then. Talk to him carefully."
My dad was a little embarrassed. "They are young people nowadays. Can they be the same as us back then? Come on, you are not ashamed. I am ashamed too. I am going to wash the dishes now."
Therefore, some topics may have to be discussed in the middle of the night when no one is around, when the father and son light a few cigarettes and start chatting.
After turning off the lights that night, my father came to my room with a lighter and handed me a box of his own cigarettes.
"Come, Yunyan."
I didn't answer, "Dad, you know I don't smoke."
"That's a can of beer."
"OK."
I went to the refrigerator and got a can of beer, then leaned on the balcony with my dad.
The early summer breeze was very comfortable. I poured myself a beer and took a sip. Just as I was about to speak, my dad spoke first.
"You've been buried in your work for many years. You don't care about anyone introducing you to someone. Do you already have someone you like?"
I held my beer in my hand and nodded. "Yeah, I liked you when I was very young, but now that you've come and gone, I don't know where to find you."
"Did you see me in Chengdu?"
"right."
"Why… "
My dad sighed.
I couldn't help but smile, and turned to ask him, "Dad, what are you sighing about?"
My dad shook his head and said, "You're thirty and just starting to chase girls. You're really late."
This sentence is very true.
I tilted my head back and took a sip of beer. "It's too late. I know it myself."
My dad patted my shoulder and said, "Dad has a few words to tell you, remember them carefully."
After he finished speaking, he put out his cigarette and said to me seriously, "First, don't be stingy. If a girl likes something, no matter if you like it or not, or if you think it's necessary or not, buy it and give it to her as a gift."
I nodded and listened carefully.
My dad knocked on the balcony railing and continued, "Second, you have to listen to the girl. Wear whatever she tells you to wear, eat whatever she tells you to eat, and go wherever she tells you to go. I know you don't know how to play. There are no young girls like you who stay at home and study. When people are willing to take you out, you must not be lazy. If you can't play, learn. Your dad didn't know how to dance back then, and now your mom can't dance as well as me."
As he spoke, he laughed to himself, but after a few laughs, he gradually became serious again.
"The third most difficult thing is to protect the fish."
He patted my shoulder and said, "It's not as simple as helping me climb up to change a light bulb. You have to have the courage to take on things that I can't afford."
You have the courage to take on things that you cannot afford.
What I remember most about that late-night conversation between father and son is these two sentences.
So I decided not to force that memory on Wanwan.
Even if it is unforgettable, it is enough for me to remember it alone.
Don't break the linear time, don't let Wanwan look back, let her live peacefully.
Just like my father told me, don't be stingy, listen to me, and protect me.
Don’t think too much about the rest.
**
At the end of April 2018, I traveled from Beijing to Chengdu.
I am still used to working in silence, occasionally meeting with colleagues in the company, but whenever I have time, I will go for a walk.
The library and cafeteria of the school are open to the public. I met Yang Wan several times, but I didn't dare to talk to her rashly. However, I gradually discovered her eating habits.
I like to eat the maocai on the third floor of the second canteen. There is a long queue on weekdays, but there are fewer people on Friday lunchtime. I usually go there early to eat around 11:50.
I eat a lot. I fill a basket of vegetables by myself and ask the aunt to prepare another portion of beef.
When there is no one around, I will deliberately ask for less.
But on Friday of that week, he didn't come early.
I was holding the basket and wondering what to eat, and the student behind me urged me, "Classmate, pick it up faster."
"Oh, sorry, I'll just..."
“He’s not a classmate.”
I was stunned for a moment, then turned around and saw Yang Wan standing beside me with a pile of documents. "Long time no see. Let me help you hold the books."
"good."
He quickly picked up a basket and said to the aunt, "Aunt, please add two more servings of beef and two bowls of rice. Don't make it too spicy."
After saying that, he pointed to the side and said, "Deng Ying, go and wait."
My dad told me to listen to him, and that I would eat whatever he told me to eat and go wherever he told me to go.
I seemed to be such a person before, but for the past thirty years, I have been on the verge of "calmness", with the uneasy night sea in front of me. However, just now, he called my name and asked me to wait. I suddenly felt that I took a step back from the spiritual world.
"When did you come to Chengdu?"
"At the beginning of this month."
"Are you on a business trip? How long can you stay?"
"It's not a business trip. I applied to be transferred to a nearby project. I won't be going back in the short term."
Yang Wan nodded and lowered her head to look at my legs. "Is your leg okay?"
I subconsciously pulled my legs back a few inches, "Almost there, but I can't do any exercise yet, and I can't drive for the time being, Wanwan..."
I subconsciously called out the name "Wan Wan", and she was obviously stunned, "What did you call me?"
I was a little panicked, and I didn't know how to cover it up, so I stood up and tried to apologize to him: "I'm sorry, I..."
"fine."
She raised her head and smiled brightly, "You can call me Wanwan. That's my nickname. My brother used to call me that, but now he just calls me by my name."
Then he reached towards my legs and said, "Deng Ying, don't stand there so anxiously."
I hurriedly said, "It doesn't hurt anymore."
"Um."
He withdrew his gaze, but sighed quietly.
"Nowadays, medical technology is so good that it doesn't matter. In the past, you had to pay attention to injuries to bones, otherwise it would leave a legacy. In history, a person with the same name as you had a leg disease."
"Did he leave any trace of the disease?"
"Um."
Yang Wan nodded, "He was imprisoned by the Ministry of Justice because of his father. The initial injury was received at that time. It might be too serious. He has been unable to walk since then. Or it may be that he did not take good care of his injuries, which left a root of illness. Don't be like him."
"I think... he was disobedient."
Yang Wan smiled and said, "Who do you want him to listen to? In the twelfth year of Zhenning, the court was purging his father's party. No one dared to talk to him."
He habitually held his chin up and said, "Although we are doing empirical research now, I still want to know what he thinks. Alas..."
He sighed and said, "No, even if I knew, I couldn't write it down."
"Why?"
Yang Wan shrugged. "Because when studying historical materials, you can try to reconstruct events, but you can't reconstruct human nature. After all, people are too complicated, with birth, aging, illness, death, and all kinds of emotions. If you don't live by his side once, you will never be able to reconstruct his life."
When he got to the point, he suddenly let go of her hand and said, "I couldn't help but tell you something irrelevant. By the way, how come you come to our school cafeteria to eat?"
I was stunned for a moment, then lowered my head and said, "I don't know what to do when I have nothing to do, so I came to the library to read books."
Yang Wan looked into my eyes and said, "You always seem to be alone."
"I… "
"Even when you are sick, you are hospitalized alone. Deng Ying, this is not good."
I admitted, "I know I'm not good."
"ha."
Yang Wan laughed, "You're really well-spoken. You must have never quarreled with your girlfriend before."
"Wanwan, I don't have a girlfriend."
I know I must have been anxious when I said that, even anxious on my face, otherwise Yang Wan wouldn't have been staring at my ears.
"What's wrong..."
"Your ears are red."
"Wan Wan."
"you say."
"Can I..."
"Pursue you."
You thought I said one sentence, right
But no, I originally thought I would say it, but when the words came to my lips, they turned into the following.
"Can I... drink a bottle of water..."
Yang Wan was startled for a moment, then tried to make me laugh again, took out her campus card and handed it to me, "Go ahead, two bottles, I want to drink too."