He is still the same as before, craving touch but not loving himself.
Yang Wan listened to Deng Ying's words and her hand slowly moved to his waist.
The undershirt he was wearing was also made of silk, but because it had been washed so much, it felt sticky when his palms touched it.
"Lie closer."
Yang Wan said softly.
Deng Ying's back was stiff and he didn't move.
Yang Wan curled her fingers around his waist and used her elbow to move a few inches closer to Deng Ying.
“I am the one without a home.”
After she finished speaking, she slowly curled her body into Deng Yingde's arms.
Although the cold rain of late autumn was merciless, it was still blocked out by this humble room.
The bed curtains were hung in the room, and the quilt behind the curtains exuded the fragrance of bath beans.
After Yang Wan fell asleep, she curled up her legs unconsciously, with her knees resting lightly on Deng Ying's abdomen. If she had moved a little lower, she would have been at the part that Deng Ying could not bear to talk about.
He was already an adult when he was punished. According to the rules of the Ming Dynasty, the inner court castrated adult males in order to reduce the death rate of eunuchs and allow them to retain their power.
However, when Deng Ying was punished, he was a criminal, so the inner court did not show him mercy.
Deng Ying still remembers that after he recovered from his injury, the Ministry of Rites came to pick him up. He and other eunuchs went to the Ministry of Rites to undergo a physical examination before entering the palace.
The examiner coldly commented on the wounds of each eunuch present.
"He cut the incision half an inch. Come and see if the cartilage inside will protrude?"
“It’s hard to say.”
After saying that, he looked up at the list and said, "Oh, he is not young anymore. The person in charge of the execution is afraid of taking someone's life, so he cuts him like this."
"Tsk... This is not easy."
"Why, are we going to let him brush off the "stubble" again?"
These words were addressed to Deng Ying. He did not want to listen, but he had no right to avoid it. He could only let go of his thoughts as much as possible.
At that time, Zheng Yuejia was a person sent by the Imperial Household Department to monitor the Ministry of Rites. He had not come in at first, but when he heard the conversation inside, he glanced at Deng Ying at the door. Seeing that he clenched his fists and lowered his head, he asked from the side, "Have you finished the inspection inside?"
"Oh, that's almost it. This is the only one. Please take a look. We can't decide."
As the man spoke, he glanced at the record in his hand, then raised his head and called out Deng Ying's last name: "Deng Ying."
"exist."
The man pointed to where Zheng Yuejia was standing and said, "Stand over there and let the ancestors of the Imperial Household Department take a look at you."
Deng Ying turned around and looked at Zheng Yuejia, but Zheng Yuejia didn't look at Deng Ying.
He took the recording and flipped through two pages, then casually replied, "I won't read it now. Let's wait until next year. If it's not good, I'll just watch it again. If it's good, there's no need to make people suffer now."
Deng Ying stood in front of Zheng Yuejia with her hands hanging down, her skin completely exposed to the chill of early spring.
Zheng Yuejia closed the recorder, clapped his hands, and said to the people who were undergoing the physical examination in the room: "Please get dressed."
After saying that, he turned around and walked out.
Deng Ying put on his clothes and walked out of the back hall of the Ministry of Rites with the other people being examined.
People whispered about recuperation after punishment - eat no spicy food, wash frequently, cultivate one's character, and don't dream of being with women. When one has money in the future, one can just hire someone to serve him and live a good life.
Everyone understands the principle, but things like the desires of yin and yang don’t seem like “reason”.
It is not used to "establish" but to "destroy".
Yang Wan's knees were gently pressing against Deng Ying's abdomen. He had no desire to see clearly, no desire to lock it, but it reminded him of his broken lower body for the first time. Perhaps "inferiority" and "self-loathing" were originally a kind of distorted frame. Deng Ying was beside Yang Wan, and a thin layer of sweat gradually appeared on her back.
After being tortured, he has always been afraid of cold, and except when he is in pain, he hardly sweats.
Moreover, he himself did not like feeling sticky because it made him unclean, but now, all five of them had silently broken his usual boundaries.
Deng Ying had no choice but to close his eyes, and he recalled the oath he had made in front of Yang Lun over and over again.
However, when he was in a state of confusion, his knees scraped against the silk material beneath him. Deng Ying suddenly vomited a large breath from his lungs, and his whole body seemed to have been drained of blood in an instant, and he became as stiff as wet firewood.
He couldn't tell where it hurt, but it hurt so much that he couldn't even move.
"Wan Wan..."
He subconsciously called Yang Wan.
The hand that was originally on his waist slowly moved to his crotch, warmly wrapping his old wound through the silk underpants.
The "drained" blood quickly flowed back into his limbs and bones. He was trembling all over, but the pain in his body gradually subsided.
"Deng Ying, it will get better slowly."
After saying this, Yang Wan pursed her lips and closed her eyes.
Fortunately, the rain outside the window continued. The cold autumn killed people's desires, so she didn't blush.
In fact, she didn't need Deng Ying to endure it, but she herself must endure it.
This is her sense of propriety towards Deng Ying, and also her sense of propriety towards this dynasty.
**
As late autumn came to an end, the spring imperial examination in the capital was drawing to a close.
On the last day of the autumn examination, it drizzled and the ground was sometimes dry and sometimes moist.
Yang Wan personally held an umbrella and sent Yi Lang to Wenhua Hall to study.
After Yi Lang entered the hall, Yang Wan did not leave. She stood on the porch and quietly watched the rain outside the hall.
Soon, Yang Jing walked out of the hall and bowed to Yang Wan.
Yang Wan turned around and asked, "Aren't you on duty with His Highness today?"
"Yes, sister, why don't you leave?"
Yang Wan turned around and glanced into the palace. "There's nothing going on in the palace. I'll just wait for His Highness to finish school."
Yang Jing said, "Are you cold, sister? I'll go get you a piece of clothing."
"No, I'm not cold."
As she spoke, she looked up at Yang Jing.
Yang Jing and Yang Lun do not look alike. Yang Lun is tall and strong, while Yang Jing is thin and fair. Her overall temperament is somewhat like Deng Ying.
"I heard that you were scolded by Zhang Ci Fu for several days in a row." She started the conversation in a casual tone.
"yes."
Yang Jing lowered her head. "It was my fault for not being able to act appropriately, which displeased Zhang Ci Fu. Fortunately, His Highness interceded for me."
Yang Wan asked: "Can you tell me the reason?"
Yang Jing nodded. "I think you must have read the Imperial Edition of The Five Sages."
The Neifu edition he mentioned is the royal edition, which was reprinted by the Jingchang and is the so-called official book.
Yang Wan did not interrupt him. She leaned against a tall pillar and listened to what he said carefully.
Yang Jing sighed and continued:
"Empress Ning has been ill for a short time. I didn't want to write this book, so I asked for my resignation from Zhang Cifu several times, hoping that the Imperial College or the Hanlin Academy would take my place, but I was eventually rebuked by Cifu. I had no choice but to start writing, but the text I wrote was not from my heart, the words were deliberate, and the writing was stagnant. Although it has been sent to the scripture factory for printing, it still displeased Cifu."
Yang Wan patted his shoulder.
"Do you care?"
"yes."
Yang Jing sighed again, "This is a book with an official seal. Zhang Ci Fu asked me to write it, which is really a great honor. But I feel unfair..."
He pursed his lips as he spoke, and then released them after a while, "I feel sorry for my sister, and I also let down Wen Mo."
After listening to him, Yang Wan smiled faintly, "You are so young, but you have so many thoughts."
Yang Jing said: "Sister, I am not young anymore."
"Well, it's not small. Then if... you suffer a little because of this book..."
Yang Jing was stunned, "What do you mean, sister?"
Just as he finished speaking, he saw an eunuch running down the stairs and saying, "Reader Yang, the Jinyiwei have something to ask you."
Yang Jing and Yang Wan looked down at the platform.
Zhang Luo, dressed in dark uniform, was accompanied by dozens of Jinyiwei, standing ten steps away from the imperial road.
Wenhua Hall is where the princes study. Even the Jinyi Guards are not allowed to break the rules and offend without the emperor's order.
"It's these ghosts."
Yang Jing said as she bowed to Yang Wan: "Sister, please wait a moment. I'll be back soon."
After saying that, he lifted his robe and walked down the stairs. Yang Wan hurriedly opened the umbrella and followed him, "Hold the umbrella, don't get wet."
Zhang Luo didn't even look at Yang Wan, and said directly to the captain behind him: "Take Yang Jing away."
"Wait a moment."
Zhang Luo turned to face Yang Wan, "If you say one more word, I will take you away too."
Yang Wan took a few steps towards Zhang Luo and said, "You're taking my brother away, and I can't even ask?"
Zhang Luo raised his hand and waved, and two captains immediately held Yang Jing on the left and right.
"Take him back and don't interrogate him yet. Wait until I come back."
"yes."
"etc."
Yang Jing broke free from the guard's hand and said, "I'll leave the umbrella to my sister and I'll go on my own."
As he spoke, he handed the umbrella to Yang Wan.
Yang Wan took the umbrella handle and whispered to Yang Jing, "Just tell the truth, don't be afraid."
Zhang Luo waited until Yang Jing left before signaling everyone to step back and looking down at Yang Wan.
"Ask whatever you want to ask now."
Yang Wan smiled and said, "I lied to you."
"What."
"I don't want to ask anything. I even know why you took my brother away."
"What did you say."
Yang Wan raised her head and asked, "Did the owner of Qingbo Pavilion go to the Northern Pacification Office to look for you?"
Zhang Luo was startled, then he grabbed Yang Wan's wrist and asked, "How did you know?"
Yang Wan trembled in pain, but she was not afraid of him, "Because I want you to investigate the case you are currently handling."
"You were the one pretending to be a Jinyiwei in Qingbo Pavilion?"
"yes."
"Take her."
He gave an order indifferently, and several captains immediately stepped forward, holding Yang Wan's shoulders and forcing her to kneel on the ground. The moment her knees touched the ground, she was in so much pain that her eyes almost turned red, but she did not struggle. Instead, she lowered her head and laughed. She looked up at Zhang Luo's eyes and said, "Do you want to torture me again? What's the reason? Impersonating a Jinyiwei? And then? Did I steal money? Or did I kill people? How do you convict me? No, do you have any witnesses?"
Zhang Luo interrupted Yang Wan and asked, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Nothing."
Yang Wan responded calmly, "You can do what you want. Lord Zhang, you should have the preface written by my sister in your hands now, and you should have submitted it to His Majesty. Next, you should investigate according to this preface. Lord Zhang, I always remember that you told me that you would not let His Majesty be deceived. So you should investigate it to the end. I only hope that when you get to the truth, you can still treat the guilty people as you treated me in the past."
Zhang Luo said coldly: "Based on what you said, I can start the investigation from you."
Yang Wan shook her head and smiled, "I used to be a female official in the Shangyi Bureau. You can take me away without informing anyone. Although I am still a slave now, I have the responsibility to take care of the prince and manage the affairs of the palace. Before you take me away, you must ask for permission from His Majesty. You have detained me without any evidence. Where can you say to His Majesty?"
After she said this, Yi Lang's voice suddenly came from the platform.
"Deputy Envoy Zhang."
Zhang Luo looked up. Yi Lang was standing by the platform, holding the railing. He did not come down. He lowered his head and glanced condescendingly at the people below the platform, and finally his eyes fell on Zhang Luo. "Why do you treat my aunt like this?"
Zhang Luo had just finished his greeting and was about to report, when he heard him say, "You are taking advantage of my young age and my aunt's weakness, that's why you are so arrogant in front of Wenhua Palace."
After hearing this, Zhang Luo knelt down and said, "I dare not."
"If you don't dare, then let my aunt go. Otherwise, I will immediately report you to my father and punish you for causing a disturbance in the Wenhua Palace."
Zhang Luo couldn't stand up, so he could only raise his hand to signal the people behind him to step back.
Yang Wan supported herself on the ground and stood up, looking up at Yi Lang.
Yi Lang had no obvious expression on his face, "Aunt, come to me."
He pointed at Zhang Luo and said, "You are not allowed to stand up until I report this to my father."
Zhang Luo knelt on the ground and did not answer.
Yi Lang looked at him and added, "My father and I established the Pacification Office to deter treacherous people. I despise you for treating my aunt like this."