On the third day of the new year, it was sunny.
Jiang Yishan dreams that Qin Shaocheng is gone. After waking up, he ran to the living room and felt relieved to see Qin Shaocheng still sleeping on the sofa. He carried the quilt over and lightly slept beside Qin Shaocheng.
This time the dream was full of sweet scenes.
Qin Shaocheng took him out to play, Qin Shaocheng coaxed him to celebrate his birthday, and the first time he learned to cook for Qin Shaocheng, the other party happily hugged him and kissed him, saying that he would never go out to eat again.
Jiang Yishan watched the whole movie like an outsider, and the ending is still his favorite.
He didn't come to City A, he was by Qin Shaocheng's side, he became a little singer who was out of date, but he didn't feel tired of being coaxed by Qin Shaocheng every day. Jiang Yishan was obviously happy in his heart, but when he woke up, his face was covered with salty tears.
The thick sunshade curtains couldn't block all the sunlight, and a small beam of sunlight leaked in and just fell on Qin Shaocheng's chin. Jiang Yishan gently rubbed the scum that came out with the back of his fingers. Familiar touch, familiar temperature. Let him gradually wake up from the non-existent world.
It was he who was dreaming.
When such a beautiful dream wakes up, of course she will cry sadly.
Qin Shaocheng moved slightly, and Jiang Yishan quickly withdrew his hand. Thinking that Qin Shaocheng was very tired after going out for a day yesterday, so he couldn't disturb him. He stared at Qin Shaocheng's face, wide and thick eyebrows, straight nose and handsome face. Jiang Yishan rested on his arm, using his fingertips to touch and describe through the air.
The sun shifted to Qin Shaocheng's eyes, and he would wake up soon.
Jiang Yishan got up and supported his upper body and kissed Qin Shaocheng's lips lightly, which were dry and soft. He couldn't help being greedy and licked it with his tongue. Qin Shaocheng frowned slightly, stretched out his arms to wrap around Jiang Yishan's waist in a half-dream and half-awake state, and pulled him into his arms, gentle and tolerant.
Jiang Yishan's pupils shrank sharply.
Qin Shaocheng woke up the moment he touched Jiang Yishan's back. Jiang Yishan hurriedly kissed him before he could react, and said, "Good morning. I'll make you breakfast." After speaking, he hurried to the kitchen.
Qin Shaocheng lay back on the sofa, rubbing the center of his brows with a headache.
Breakfast is white rice porridge with egg dumplings and boiled eggs. Qin Shaocheng eats more by looking at the appearance, and if he looks good, he can use more chopsticks. The bowls, chopsticks, dishes and cups he bought at home are carefully selected by Jiang Yishan. .
The presentation is also particular, a bowl of white porridge should be sprinkled with some sesame seeds and sugar, if not for the lack of snacks at home, Jiang Yishan could have crushed hickory nuts instead of sesame seeds and sprinkled them on. The egg dumplings were steaming a little hot now, Jiang Yishan ran to the kitchen and poured a small bowl of vinegar for Qin Shaocheng to dip in the vinegar to eat, and put two drops of red oil in the vinegar dish, it added fragrance and looked good.
Qin Shaocheng's expression didn't change after seeing these.
The greatest joy of cooking is to get affirmation from others after tasting. Jiang Yishan, who didn't get a response, was more or less depressed. He persuaded himself in his heart, probably because he didn't burn well.
After dinner, Jiang Yishan went to the kitchen to wash the dishes, and Qin Shaocheng went to the study to call Wei Feng. Wei Feng also just woke up, and he could feel the discomfort of his hangover from the sound: "Old Qin, did I give the keys to someone yesterday? I didn't see my car keys when I woke up this morning."
"Yesterday Zeng Pingping drove your car home."
"I said, hey, go back and get it."
"You..." Qin Shaocheng thought for a while and asked, "Do you know that Jiang Yishan has your WeChat friend?"
Wei Feng paused for a moment: "Is there such a thing? Fuck, that kid is really pervasive. I said he is—"
Qin Shaocheng frowned: "Wei Feng."
"Hey... Don't talk about me. Didn't I just send some photos, I'll find a place for you. Just say that you lived a wonderful life without him, and your life is happy and comfortable." Wei Feng heard Qin Shaocheng's tone I had no choice but to tell the truth, "I didn't say anything else, I just took a picture of us going out to play. What, Lao Qin, aren't you? You get soft-hearted when you hear people peeking at your news every day? You No way! Be sober!" Wei Feng yelled, "This is what he deserves. What is it if he pretends to be pitiful and shed two tears with you? Why did he go so early? Weeping after seeing the coffin is a last resort. It's not a confession from the heart! You have to remember. You just have a soft heart, do you understand, it's really... hey."
Qin Shaocheng said helplessly, "I know."
His headache is that Jiang Yishan doesn't know, or Jiang Yishan deliberately pretends not to know. Seeing his hesitation, the other party was like a drowning man grabbing a duckweed on the water, knowing that it was useless but unwilling to let go.
After Wei Feng hesitated to speak, Qin Shaocheng was very clear about what he meant, and Wei Feng definitely couldn't understand what he said.
Is it really impossible to leave early? Of course not, the traffic is so developed now.
Are you really so softhearted that you have no bottom line? Yes and no.
Jiang Yishan knew him too well, and every time he caught the point where he was the least able to resist, it was like he would still fall for the bait even though he knew the opponent's scheming and showing weakness.
If Jiang Yishan hadn't said that after the breakup, Qin Shaocheng would return to Qin's house because of his interests, maybe Qin Shaocheng would have borne it again and again.
To put it bluntly, feelings are like what you like and what you like, but to put it bluntly, it’s just willing to fight and suffer.
It is always willing.
Even if it seems to outsiders that there are no flaws in every possible way, it is like dust in the eyes of the person concerned, who is dismissed in the blink of an eye and tears. Just after breaking up, there will be complaints in my heart, but after a long time, I will just treat it as a butterfly flying away early in a dream of life.
At noon, Jiang Yishan cooked tomato beef brisket pasta. Since there was no shredded cucumber, he used lettuce stems cut into thin strips instead, and the leaves were cut into shreds to make a vegetable salad. Accompanied by a small glass of red wine. Because of this meal, the whole room smelled of sour tomatoes. In the afternoon, Jiang Yishan opened the windows of the room to let the air in. And Qin Shaocheng started to pack some things that needed to be packed away.
Jiang Yishan actually sat quietly beside him, and occasionally helped Qin Shaocheng put away his folds, as if he was a different person, being well-behaved and sensible. He was wearing Qin Shaocheng's sweater, but he didn't wear it underneath, his neckline drooped obliquely to reveal his collarbone, he lowered his head to play with the trinkets bought by the two of them before, and kept silent.
The warm sun came in in the afternoon, making him soft and lonely.
Qin Shaocheng wanted to say something to Jiang Yishan several times, but he never did.
Seeing Qin Shaocheng, Jiang Yishan stopped and asked, "Are you tired? Do you want some water? I'll get you some water." Qin Shaocheng was still organizing his words, so Jiang Yishan went out and poured in warm boiled water with just the right ratio of hot and cold, and put it in the Qin Shaocheng's hand.
Qin Shaocheng frowned slightly.
"What's wrong?" Jiang Yishan tilted his head to look carefully at Qin Shaocheng's expression, and asked, "Are you upset? Is it because of me?" He sat on the desk and put his hands on the table to keep his back from bending: "I... like this Not good?"
Qin Shaocheng's chest softened immediately, but immediately afterwards he suspected that Jiang Yishan was playing tricks again.
Seeing the doubt and uncertainty in his eyes, Jiang Yishan smiled lightly: "I'm self-willed or obedient now, you can't believe it." I'm a liar. Full of lies."
Qin Shaocheng tried to explain but couldn't explain anything, he really thought so, so he kept silent.
The phone call broke the awkward atmosphere.
Qin Shaocheng put down the water glass and connected the phone: "Brother."
Jiang Yishan turned his face away.
"... yes... go back in the morning on the seventh day of the seventh day, I will send a WeChat message after the flight... I asked, but I can't change it..." Qin Shaocheng glanced at Jiang Yishan and said as he walked out of the study.
Jiang Yishan sat on the desk without moving. He lowered his head and touched the rim of the glass, not knowing what he was thinking.
He sat quietly for a while, then jumped down to look for the cardboard boxes in the bookcase, most of them were sundries they had used before. There are also a few cooking reference books that Jiang Yishan bought, and the page that teaches you how to make jam has been marked. After he left back then, what kind of thought did Qin Shaocheng have in order to pack these things up and put them in the cabinet to wait for them to collect dust
Is it hate, or is it thinking that one day I can take it out
Why did I...
Jiang Yishan cleared his throat to force back the wetness in his eyes. He closed the carton. He patted the ashes on his body and walked out of the study. Qin Shaocheng stood at the junction of the living room and the balcony, with his back to him.
Jiang Yishan asked: "Is your brother urging you to go back?"
Qin Shaocheng turned around and put the phone aside, without denying it.
"Are you leaving now?" Jiang Yishan stared at the ground, "Can't we stay for a few more days?"
Qin Shaocheng looked at Jiang Yishan, thinking that he couldn't go back to his previous residence now, and he would probably be harassed by paparazzi if he went outside to look for it again. After thinking about it for a long time, he said, "I won't leave this room for the time being. You can live in it first."
Jiang Yishan refused to let go: "Isn't it okay to leave after the Chinese New Year?"
"You." Qin Shaocheng hesitated and said, "Don't always rely on..."
"Are you trying to win your heart by acting like a baby?" Jiang Yishan wanted to smile, but his expression was out of control, "You just don't like me anymore. When you liked me, you said you liked me the most. Have you forgotten?"
"Yes, I admit it." Qin Shaosheng said, "I like it wrong."
He said he liked it wrong.
Jiang Yishan seemed to have been punched in the chest, struggling to die: "Then I can't change it? I will be obedient, I will be obedient, and I will never, never be like before. Do you still want me? ?”
He pressed on step by step: "I will not be a star, I will not be willful, I will listen to you in everything. I will learn well. So are you willing to give me a chance?"
Qin Shaocheng couldn't see Jiang Yishan like this, but he still said ruthlessly, "It's been four years since we broke up. You... It's time to learn to be more mature."
"No chance, right? What do I do, you think I'm..." Jiang Yishan couldn't continue, he took a deep breath and didn't even have the strength to let it out. He thought it was so difficult to chase someone, even if he asked for forgiveness, there would be no response.
Does maturity mean letting go? Shouldn't a mature person know that he made a mistake and come back to make up for it
He thought if he could do it all over again, if his life went back to when they first met...
He was once rich and stupid. Being favored but not understanding, being too confident, squandering with love, only to find that he was empty-handed when he looked back.
But where there is no starting over in life, it is mostly a dream.
In the dream, he didn't let Qin Shaocheng down.