Wei Zhiyuan didn't know how he got here, if he had to use one word to describe those days, it would be "darkness".
At first, he was angry.
To Sanpang, to that unknown girl, and even to Xiaobao who didn't know the truth.
Wei Zhiyuan felt that he was isolated by the whole world, and no one cared about his painstaking efforts. From San Pang's expression, he saw helplessness and tolerance due to emotion.
But why does he need to be tolerated by others
Did he do anything wrong
He is like a person traveling in a snowstorm, all the way without seeing his fingers, only the weak and unique light of the lighthouse guides him.
Now, they want to seize even this little thing.
Anger is a fleeting emotion, like a handful of sand that either blows away quickly in the wind or settles into a deep, stone-like resentment.
After that, Wei Zhiyuan's mood slid towards the latter.
Resentment is like a seed that has been buried in his heart for twenty years. It is buried so deep and stuck in his throat. After a little wind and rain, it will break out of the ground and grow into a towering tree connected with flesh and blood.
Crazy hatred permeates every corner of his heart—like a corpse, no matter how much you cover it up, it can’t hide the smell of decay—even though Wei Zhiyuan has tried his best not to show it, even Xiao Bao, who is always carefree, has noticed something wrong with him , Every time I talk to him, my voice is an octave lower.
His resentment is aimed at everyone, so it is not so strong when it is distributed to everyone, except Wei Qian.
Wei Zhiyuan himself doesn't know how many years it has been, and he can't even explain to himself how strong and sticky his feelings for his elder brother are, so much so that now he almost has no distinction between love and hate.
The love is so deep that I wish I could eat its bones, eat its flesh, and drink its blood.
Wei Zhiyuan's mental state is in a dangerous state of extreme numbness and sensitivity, and a storm is brewing.
Luo Luoxia Xia Xiaoxiao said =
At this moment, Wei Qian came back.
When Wei Qian got off the plane, he was in a daze. At the airport, he sent Ma Chunming to buy him a large cup of strong tea, poured it into it, barely lifted it, and then rushed to the headquarters for a meeting to report on the key points of his recent work.
By the time he got home exhausted, it was already past eight o'clock in the evening.
It's hot in the south, and he was wearing a thin shirt inside. He wrapped his coat in a hurry when he arrived here, but the cold wind from the north kept pouring into his clothes. Wei Qian entered the house wrapped in the cold air, naked The skin on the outside was white with cold.
The moment Wei Zhiyuan heard the door knock, his heart started beating violently.
He walked out as if he was sleepwalking, and felt that the big brother at the door had bumped into his eyes alive, and it hurt.
"Where are you at home? I'm freezing to death," Wei Qian glanced at him, and then asked without raising his head, "Is there anything to eat?"
Wei Zhiyuan was speechless, and after a while, he responded like a walking dead, walked into the kitchen, took two eggs, began to chop vegetables, and planned to fry the remaining bowl of rice.
Wei Qian said outside: "Xiao Yuan, don't make such a trouble, if you have any leftovers, bring me a few bites."
Wei Zhiyuan turned a deaf ear to it.
He seemed to have to do something to keep himself calm on the surface.
Wei Qian thought he didn't hear it, but when he was steamed by the heat in the room, all the lazy tendons in his body started to become tangled. He collapsed on the sofa as if he had no bones, threw the suitcase aside, and turned on the TV.
When Wei Zhiyuan came out with a bowl of fried rice, Wei Qian had already fallen asleep leaning on the sofa.
Wei Zhiyuan's breathing stopped along with his steps.
The big bowl in the palm of his hand began to feel hot, but his hands seemed to be numb, and he couldn't feel it at all.
Wei Qian's body shrank into a small corner along with the soft cushions of the sofa. Before Erlang's legs could be put down, one hand was weakly pressed on the remote control, and the other hand was placed across his chest in aggrieved way. Leaning on the back of the sofa, his chin was almost retracted into the collar, his face was bloodless, fine dry skin and cracks appeared on his chapped lips, and the ups and downs of his chest seemed so inconspicuous.
Like dead.
Wei Zhiyuan heard his heart beating heavily.
Among his broad but not selective, he has read many stories about making living people into objects. Before, he just regarded it as a curiosity, and never took it to heart. But at this moment, a similar thought was like a flash of lightning, "Wow!" It shattered his dilapidated spirit world at once.
If that person can no longer speak, can no longer open eyes, can no longer see others
Wei Zhiyuan felt that there must be some kind of criminal gene in his bones, he began to walk forward uncontrollably, slowly approaching the unconscious Wei Qian, his eyes fixed on him as if obsessed.
The deaf Mrs. Song had already gone to bed, and Xiaobao hadn't finished her evening self-study yet.
A little closer and a little closer.
It was close enough to hear Wei Qian's thin and steady breathing, and to see his unmoving eyelashes.
At this moment, Wei Zhiyuan's heart was full of sadness without warning, like a river suddenly breaking its embankment, rushing and ruthlessly dispelling the cold killing intent that was congested in his internal organs. , for a long time, and it was difficult to discern the sound of my heart that was pressed to the bottom of the water. It was a simple and simple sentence
How did he lose weight
The imaginary resentment and the real person tore apart the love and desire in Wei Zhiyuan's heart.
They are heart-wrenching, and then the two sides are entangled to death, and finally they are almost hopelessly clear together.
Only deep-rooted feelings can overcome inborn paranoia, and Wei Zhiyuan knows that it is impossible for him to have such feelings again in his life.
He finally put down the bowl he was holding, curled up his reddened fingertips, gently pushed Wei Qian, bent down and said softly, "Brother, wake up."
Wake up, I can't bear it any longer, please look at me, I can smash my body and soul to pieces for you.
Nothing happened afterwards. After Wei Qian was woken up by him, he killed a large bowl of fried rice at the speed of light. He probably didn't even bother to chew it, so he swallowed it directly. Unexpectedly, I saw the good things that San Fatty did - being able to freely enter and leave his room, and people who can do such boring things don't think otherwise.
Wei Qian didn't like to speculate about the people around him, and he didn't even bother to ponder what the three fats meant. He just felt that the fat man was so idle, so he cursed himself: "Fuck, fat man."
Then he tore off the packing box and threw it away. He took a look at the lighter, but couldn't see how much it was worth, so he stuffed it in a drawer. Finally, he took Feng Ning's photo and stuffed it in a corner.
In his eyes, this was just a small prank by Sanpang, so small that it was not even a life adjustment, and he forgot it in a blink of an eye.
He didn't notice the upheaval in Wei Zhiyuan's heart at all.
That day was the first day of February in the lunar calendar. It seemed that spring was about to begin, but there was no spring, and the whole day was gloomy. It seemed that there was a heavy snow, and the river was not yet open. Spring was forgotten in the freezing cold. up.
The project crisis in City C was officially resolved, and the entire company ushered in a belated annual meeting and an exceptionally generous year-end bonus.
I don't know if it's because he was too relaxed, but Wei Qian woke up late that day, and San Pang came to knock on his door when he was about to leave, and that's why he forcefully dug him out of bed.
Wei Qian tidied himself up in a hurry, and went out in a hurry, without noticing anything he left behind.
On the way, San Pang was still tentatively asking Wei Qian, "Did Xiao Yuan tell you anything?"
"Xiaoyuan?" Wei Qian was stunned for a moment, "What are you talking about?"
San Fatty rolled his eyes, hurriedly made a distraction and flickered over. He has been tense all these days, lest Wei Zhiyuan do something irrational to hurt others and himself, but Wei Zhiyuan seems to have turned into a squib , said nothing, did nothing.
San Fatty thought: That's weird, don't you just hold back some big ideas, right
Sanpang: "Hey, by the way, the evening party, including the celebration banquet, you know?"
Wei Qian: "Yes."
San Pang: "The invitations from major shareholders and previous partners have been delivered, and family members can also bring them. By the way, my name is Feng Ning."
Wei Qian rolled his eyes.
San Pang immediately warned: "You have a red mouth and white teeth!"
Wei Qian could only wave his hands and let him go.
As a result, at the celebration banquet in the evening, Mr. Zhang came out to be a monster again, suggesting that they hang up the large real-life picture of the project in City C, so that everyone can be happy together.
Although Mr. Zhang is the chief culprit who made them look so humiliated, face still has to be given after all. Wei Qian found out after asking someone to find him. He called at home and asked Wei Zhiyuan, who happened to be at home, to bring it to him.
When Wei Zhiyuan arrived downstairs in their company, the chairman's secretary was waiting for him, and hurriedly came up to greet him and said kindly: "You are Wei Dong's younger brother, right? He asked me to pick you up downstairs."
The chairman's secretary is in her thirties, she looks like a pure girl, but her personality can split into a rough guy without excessive, just talking to Wei Zhiyuan in a spring breeze, and immediately after answering the phone, she began to stare and curse: "You said you Put the speech on his desk? You expect Wei Dong to discover it by himself? Why don’t you expect Columbus to discover the New World again? Just you guys, can you be more careful? How many times have I reminded you to ask you to do this? Hand it over to him personally, and tell him with your mouth that this is the opening, opening, and closing remarks before the dinner, not a congratulatory message from some inexplicable partner! If you don’t tell him that there is such a thing, he dares to Just go up and bow and tell everyone to eat and drink well, believe it or not?"
Afterwards, she realized that she seemed to be complaining about the boss in front of her younger brother, and quickly forced a smile at Wei Zhiyuan, and with her extremely fast face-changing speed, she said in a weak and gentle voice like a woman, "Are you still a student? Well, it's more fun to go to school when it's our job to take care of the boss's trivialities that they don't need to pay attention to."
Wei Zhiyuan smiled at her politely, but he repeatedly recalled what the woman in front of him said just now like a demon.
You expect him to find out by himself
tell him with your mouth
The elevator arrived soon, and the secretary took the things Wei Zhiyuan brought, and arranged a seat for him carefully: "Thank you, I made a special trip, Wei Dong asked you to eat and take his car back together, there are those who don't take good care of you Tell your sister about it.”
Said that she stepped on high heels and ran away like a rabies firecracker. Following her "launch track", Wei Zhiyuan raised his head and saw his brother.
Wei Qian wore a formal suit, with one hand in his pocket, the hem of his jacket was folded a little by his wrist, and the slightly raised side revealed his waist, and the tie around his neck was the one that Wei Zhiyuan had bought for him back then. In his hand was a piece of paper that someone had just handed to him—probably the opening remarks that Miss Secretary just said.
He was full of impatience, as if he wanted to say something, when a bald old man walked towards him, he had to put away his personal emotions for a while, and showed a warm and just right smile.
Wei Zhiyuan stared at him intently until all the lights in the venue were dimmed.
He watched Wei Qian fold the stupid piece of paper casually, put it into the chairman's secretary's cup, walked onto the stage empty-handed, and made a short and decent opening.
The only beam of light in the hall followed him, and everyone's eyes followed him.
Wei Zhiyuan thought of more things uncontrollably—the boy who beat the wild dog to death with bricks more than ten years ago, was amused by the long-standing "suicide note", and walked over with big strides. Hold him up and let him let go of the iron pipe in his arms, the time-like smell of bruise ointment and smoke, the scars all over his body in the middle of the night in a foreign hotel
Indifferent, firm, gentle, anxious, angry, helpless, all the expressions on that person's face.
The banquet started with a lot of toasting, and everyone was relaxed and happy as if they were relieved.
Wei Zhiyuan had no appetite—he saw the girl in the photo, she seemed to be a little prettier than in the photo, next to San Pang, gave Wei Qian a shy look, and lowered her head in embarrassment.
Is it her
With Wei Zhiyuan's cleverness, when he calmed down later, he actually guessed that his brother and this girl hadn't started yet, and it was probably San Pang who deliberately stimulated him, but so what
They can all start now.
Wei Zhiyuan didn't eat, he just drank wine on an empty stomach, thinking tiredly in the smell of alcohol, should I give up
In his impression, he has never been unable to get anything he wants, and such arrogance has finally experienced a devastating blow.
Wei Qian didn't know whether it was for San Pang's face, or out of his heart, he acted like a real young talent in front of Feng Ning. San Pang looked at them talking and laughing, and walked away calmly, with a smudge on his face. The stone fell to the ground quickly.
Wei Zhiyuan closed his eyes, and the balance in his heart, which was constantly tangled up and down, finally turned to one side.
He thought: Well, I give up.
Afterwards, he poured a whole glass of spirits down his throat, burning all the way into his stomach, but the bitter taste remained on the tip of his tongue.
It wasn't until the banquet was over that Wei Qian got rid of the others and found Wei Zhiyuan under the guidance of his secretary.
Wei Zhiyuan smelled of alcohol all over his body, and his eyes were no longer right.
Wei Qian had no choice but to set him up: "You brat, you've learned how to drink, no one cares about you, right?"
Wei Zhiyuan stared at him obediently, without saying a word, he obediently followed his eldest brother's hand.
Wei Qian helped him all the way to his office, threw Wei Zhiyuan on the chair, and poured him a cup of herbal tea: "Wake up and go home."
Said, Wei Qian took off his suit jacket, ready to go out and change into a coat later.
Wei Zhiyuan said softly: "Brother"
Wei Qian loosened the tie around his neck which made him uncomfortable, and responded casually, "Huh?"
"He's about to belong to someone else," Wei Zhiyuan thought desperately, "I've given up, but he never knew it"
The secretary's words rang in my ears again by accident.
tell him with your mouth tell him
Wei Qian noticed that he had not made a sound for a long time, and thought that the drunk cat had already fallen asleep.
Half of his tie was untied, with a few fingers still entangled in it. He turned half of his body and seemed to want to look back at Wei Zhiyuan. to the wall.
"elder brother"
The man pressed heavily on him, and yelled like a raving, before Wei Qian realized what was going on, his collar, which was still entangled by the loose tie, was suddenly pulled violently Passing over, a scorching kiss blocked his unspoken questions.
The desperate intensity swept through every corner in the blink of an eye.
Wei Qian's mind went blank.
It wasn't until then that he smelled the alcohol on the other party's body, which was so strong that he couldn't describe it.
At this moment, the door of Wei Qian's office was opened, and the sound of the door finally called Wei Qian's mind back, and he pushed Wei Zhiyuan away.
At the door was a startled old bear.
Wei Zhiyuan staggered and fell backwards, hitting Wei Qian's desk with his back, the documents on the desk wobbled and fell, Wei Zhiyuan slid down like mud, he felt a punch on his chin, his lips It was broken by teeth, the smell of blood was strong in the nostrils, and the eyes were full of gold stars.
The old bear reacted quickly, quickly turned around and locked the door, then rushed over and grabbed Wei Qian's fist that was about to fall again.
"Qian'er!" Old Xiong pushed Wei Qian with his shoulder, dragged him away, and said into his ear, "Don't stay here, that's fine!"
Wei Qian felt his temples twitching endlessly from the corners of his eyes, and when he straightened his eyes were almost black, his face suddenly turned pale, Wei Zhiyuan was so angry that he felt sharp pains in his chest.
Old Xiong forced him down on the chair, frowned and looked at Wei Zhiyuan, then bent down to check: "Did you knock the back of your head? Do you still have to get up?"
Wei Zhiyuan rejected the hand he extended to help him, and got up staggeringly. He was already sober from the wine, but he didn't want to think or say anything, just like this in silence aside.
Wei Qian took a long time to get out of his chest, and he didn't want to explain to Old Xiong what was going on—even he himself couldn't figure out what was going on, so he pretended to be calm and said: "Find me What's up?"
Old Xiong looked at the chaos in the place, sighed, bent down to pick up the document that Wei Zhiyuan had knocked off, fell silent for a while, and said softly, "Qian'er, I want to go."
Wei Qian: "What?"
"I'm going to take Chen Lu away." Old Xiong whispered, "If I quit, my equity will be transferred. If you are willing to take it, you can take it. If you don't, I will transfer it to a third party."
Wei Qian took a deep breath: "Have you decided?"
Old Bear: "Yes."
Wei Qian was silent for a long time, finally closed his eyes, and gently rubbed his temples: "Okay, I'll take it."
The old bear nodded at him, didn't intend to stay any longer, turned around and left, before going out, he took a deep look at Wei Zhiyuan who was in the shadows, and sighed vaguely: "I'll call you driver."
And this night, it seemed that there were more than these farces.
After Wei Zhiyuan left, Xiaobao went home, made sure that Mrs. Song had something to eat, and brought her medicine, before rushing back to school for evening self-study.
Mrs. Song sent her to the door as usual, and told her to slow down on the way. At this moment, Mrs. Song felt the warmth in her crotch, and she didn't react at first.
Little Treasure accidentally caught a glimpse: "Ah, grandma, why are your pants wet?"
Granny Song lowered her head as if struck by lightning. She was shocked and ashamed to find that she was incontinent.
Little Treasure immediately understood, quickly put aside her schoolbag, rolled up her sleeves to help her change her pants: "I'll help you first"
Mrs. Song took a step back in a panic.
"Grandma, don't move, I'll change your pants."
"No need!" Mrs. Song, who had already slurred her words, almost yelled and stopped her.
Xiao Bao had never heard her make such a shrill voice before, and was stunned for a moment.
Mrs. Song said tremblingly, "You go to school, go, go."
Xiao Bao: "Grandma"
Mrs. Song supported the wall with one hand, and waved her crutch at her with the other: "Go! Go!"
Xiaobao hesitated for a moment: "Then can you do it yourself?"
Mrs. Song yelled at her: "Let's go!"
Xiaobao: "Okay, okay, I'll go right away, you're fine, take it easy, I'll wash your pants when you come back tonight, don't worry, I'll go right away, go right away."
Mrs. Song drove Xiaobao away roughly, feeling that her spine had been taken away. It took her more than half an hour to change out of her pee-wet pants and into a big suit. sweat.
She wanted to cry aloud amidst the stench, but the tears had dried up, and she still couldn't cry a single teardrop.
Ten years ago, she came to this city by picking up trash all the way from her hometown. At that time, she was so poor and so decent.
She never thought that one day she would fall into such a situation, Mrs. Song almost felt that she was no longer alone.
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
Mrs. Song didn't respond for a long time, until Mazi's mother's voice came from outside: "Old sister, are you asleep?"
Granny Song moved over and opened the door for her.
I saw Mazi's mother sitting in a convenient wheelchair, carrying a crutch in one arm, making herself look radiant. She took nothing but a map and a bottle of mineral water.
"Old sister." Mazi Ma said, "I'm going to leave while they're not here. If I don't leave, the weather will be warmer, and I'll have to wait until next year."
When the weather gets warmer, the homeless don't die so well.
"I'm saying goodbye to you," she said, maneuvering her wheelchair to the elevator with difficulty.
At this moment, Mrs. Song suddenly called out to her: "Her aunt!"
Mazi looked back at her.
Granny Song's lips trembled for a long time: "I'm with you, with you."
Mazi's mother seemed to have expected it a long time ago, and said without any surprise: "Come on."
In this way, the two women walked out of everyone's sight hand in hand on a cold night that was about to snow, and never appeared again.
Mrs. Song came from the Mid-Autumn Festival and walked to the early spring, carrying her last dignity and decency.
"At least I know a few words. I wrote a suicide note and left a letter." On the way, Mazi's mother and Mrs. Song said so.
Mrs. Song asked: "What is written in the letter?"
"It was written 'I'm not dead, just gone'."
It's not death, it's just life.
Pain and happiness are not brought by birth, nor taken away by death.
Only the evening is gorgeous and supreme. —Haizi.
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