Daydreaming About Me

Chapter 53

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Lin Yujing has read several books and similar movies on this subject.

There are many examples of antisocial personality disorder as a villain in movies and books, such as Moriarty in "Sherlock Holmes", such as the famous Doctor Hannibal in "The Silence of the Lambs".

Emotional distortion, behavior completely following desire and instinct, no empathy, no guilt, lack of awareness of one's own personality flaws. Most of them start before the age of 14, and they are first seen at a young age, influenced by genes and family influences.

Highly impulsive and aggressive, very good at manipulating other people's emotions with lies and disguises, and obtains satisfaction in a way that normal people cannot understand.

There are such people in real life.

terrible.

Ordinary people may be subtly affected. What will happen to a sensitive and delicate depression patient who gets along with such a person day and night.

This is completely different from a lunatic or something, a high IQ antisocial personality looks benign and harmless, he will make you like him, trust him, and then use your kindness and trust to do whatever you want, without the slightest condemnation of conscience. He doesn't feel that what he does is wrong.

He may feel that killing someone directly or indirectly is as easy as smoking a cigarette.

Nie Xinghe is different from that typical anti-social personality. According to what Shen Juan said, he has no direct aggressive behavior.

Lin Yu was shocked to think of the young man on the street. He didn't look as tall as her, and he was thin and flimsy, so it was difficult to cause direct harm to others.

Other mental problems, or he is simply a pervert, he regards Shen Juan's uncle as his salvation, or his only support, he has never felt family affection, so Luo Qinghe can't have it either.

He cannot accept that his position in the other party's heart is unequal.

When watching movies, I was attracted by the exciting plot created by these villains, and I loved and hated them. In reality, Lin Yujing only felt cold when he met people who suspected of having similar problems.

That kind of creepy feeling made the hairs all over the body explode in an instant, like a bucket of ice water poured down on the head in the snowy field in the twelfth lunar month of winter.

Nie Xinghe and Shen Juan were about the same age. When the incident happened, he was only fourteen or fifteen years old at most, about the same age as she is now.

Shen Juan is just so old.

After Shen Juan finished speaking, no one spoke, and the house was silent. Lin Yujing realized that she had stood up at some point.

She stood in front of the sofa without moving for a long time. She didn't know what expression she had now. Her mind was filled with all kinds of things, and she was a ball of confusion, fear and incomprehension.

In fact, many of Shen Juan's words were mentioned in one sentence. He didn't want to go into details. Even so, the amount of information was too huge. She had to sort it out bit by bit. She could feel her fingers shaking.

Shen Juan sat there motionless and looked at her. After a while, he sighed, threw the remote control in his hand on the coffee table, stood up, walked in front of her, and raised his hand to pat her on the back.

Lin Yu came to his senses in shock.

"Don't be afraid," Shen Juan moved lightly, stroking her back one after another, lowered his eyes, and said in a low voice, "Don't be afraid, Lord Juan will protect you."

Lin Yu's eyes turned red in shock: "I'm not afraid, and you said it the wrong way."

Shen Juan let out a "hmm".

His overly calm attitude throughout the whole process made people a little uneasy.

Lin Yujing took a deep breath and tried her best to control the emotion in her voice: "Shen Juan, although it may not be appropriate for me to say these words, but you are not at fault for this matter." She raised her head, "It's not yours." Wrong, this result is not caused by you, you don't need to sacrifice anything for it, do you understand what I mean...?"

"Understood." Shen Juan lowered his hand, stepped back a little, and opened the distance, "I understand, I don't think this matter is my fault, and I don't have the habit of taking the blame casually, I just—— think I am responsible."

"Luo Qinghe has been taking medicine since he came back from Hong Kong, but I never noticed that he looks no different from a healthy person."

Shen Juan looked away, and said slowly: "I can't understand why he did this, but sometimes I also wonder if I found out that he was taking medicine earlier and he went to receive treatment earlier, would it be okay? It's going to happen."

"The first time I told him to go to the sports school, and he told me to do whatever I wanted, if I found out that he was not happy, maybe Nie Xinghe wouldn't have the chance, and I regretted it."

"When I was young, maybe I was just in junior high school. He asked me, and he would give me this studio in the future. I agreed, and he thought I would like this too." Shen Juan said.

Lin Yu was startled and her feet were a little weak, she sat back on the sofa again: "Then do you like it?"

"I don't know," Shen Juan walked over and sat next to her, "I was just used to it at the time, and I didn't feel like or dislike it."

He leaned into the cushion, raised his head against the wall, and stared at the painting on the ceiling: "No one in our family supports him in doing this. The tattoo artist is too abstract. Only me, he thinks I am too Like, I understand him, I can inherit him—”

Shen Juan smiled, raised his hand and patted the sofa cushion, "Inherit his ideal place."

"So," Lin Yujing sorted it out slowly, "You left later, you repented, and he thought you were treacherous."

Shen Juan paused, then turned his head: "Do you think the word treachery is a little too heavy?"

Lin Yu was surprised to hear that he wanted to make her laugh, so she smiled very face-saving, although she couldn't smile very much now.

There is a feeling that I will not be happy any time soon.

"But you were still a kid at that time," Lin Yujing said, "A junior high school student said that when I was young, I still wanted to be an astronaut."

Shen Juan turned his head again, and said in a low voice, "He may feel that even the only family member who understands and supports him doesn't want him anymore."

Lin Yu was startled to recall a news story she had read before. A single mother committed suicide because her daughter wanted to study abroad.

She has never felt such a strong and paranoid family affection, and she doesn't know how a depressed patient or a person with a tendency to depression thinks. She is a little out of control now, and can't help but blame Luo Qinghe.

Even though she knew he was a victim, she couldn't help it.

He might as well just stay in Hong Kong for the rest of his life and never come back.

Shen Juan is too innocent, this is a sudden disaster, and it took eight lifetimes of bad luck to encounter such a thing.

She could even imagine what he looked like at that time, such a dazzling young man who was high-spirited, flamboyant and proud.

How did he deal with this matter, how did he give up the choice at the time, how did he come back here, and then do things that he didn't like or hate.

Shen Juan would never say it, and Lin Yujing didn't want to know at all.

She sat quietly on the sofa, didn't speak, didn't know what to say, and it was inappropriate to say anything now.

She regretted it a little, she shouldn't have asked this question.

What white moonlight and black moonlight, she, the invincible and rational classmate Lin Yujing, would be disturbed by a few malicious and misleading words from a psychopath, which is simply a shame.

She sat listlessly on the sofa and let out a long sigh.

Shen Juan, who was beside him, also sighed, "Lin Yujing."

Lin Yu turned his head away in shock.

Shen Juan looked at her: "This thing is in the past, what happened can't be reversed, and life can't be without changes for a lifetime. Whether I'm in the provincial team now or come back to continue studying, it doesn't matter to me." Too much impact."

She pursed her lips and looked at him, her eyes and eyebrows drooped, and she looked lifeless: "You lie."

"I'm not lying," Shen Juan raised his hand helplessly, rubbed her head, and said in a low voice, "No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I can do well. Don't be unhappy, don't be afraid, no one What can you do to me?"

He bent his index finger, tapped her forehead lightly, and said with a smile, "Master Tired is omnipotent."

Lin Yu was stunned.

Lin Yujing suddenly had a very strong urge to hug him.

When he calmly talked about those unacceptable things, when he looked at her a little fragile and blankly for a few minutes, Lin Yujing never had such thoughts.

Until now, this person is lazily leaning on the sofa, laughing and saying these words now.

- I can do anything.

I can do my best in whatever I do.

No one can beat me.

No one, nothing can extinguish his light.

"Master Tired," Lin Yujing tried to suppress the urge to do something in his heart, and called out to him, "You, every time you call yourself like that, I think you're a sophomore. Can you be like that? Like an adult, more mature?"

Shen Juan looked at her, sincerely curious: "Why are you so courageous? The last person who said I was in secondary school is no longer in this world."

Lin Yujing turned a blind eye to his threats: "Everyone is from the older generation, why are you from the older generation?"

"They all call it that, so I'm used to it," Shen Juan thought for a while, "Maybe it's because Brother Juan doesn't sound very nice?"

Lin Yujing recited the two titles silently, and found that it was indeed a catchphrase of the grandfather's generation.

"Okay." She was in a better mood now, pulled the bag on the coffee table, took a can of beer out of it, and flipped out two sandwiches, and handed one of them to him, one for each of them.

Shen Juan watched as she kicked off her shoes, sat cross-legged on the sofa and opened the tab of the can of beer, took a few gulps, and then unwrapped the sandwich.

He knew that she could drink well, and he heard that there should be no problem, so he didn't stop her: "Hungry?"

"A little bit." Lin Yu glanced at his watch in surprise. It was almost ten o'clock. "I didn't eat much for dinner. I don't have much appetite."

Shen Juan also glanced at his watch: "Are you still leaving today?"

Lin Yujing stopped chewing and turned to look at him.

Shen Juan stared straight at her, his eyes were dark, and the dim yellow light from the floor lamp was like a warm filter, outlining ambiguous tenderness.

She puffed her cheeks, her expression was a little dazed, the sandwich was still stuffed in her mouth, and she swallowed subconsciously.

Shen Juan raised the corners of his lips, leaned closer, and looked down at her: "Huh? Let's go?"

Lin Yu came back to his senses in shock: "What are you, an invitation to commit crimes?"

"I'm just asking politely," Shen Juan glanced at the bag she put on the tea table, and saw two dozen wines inside, "I come here to drink every day in the middle of the night, are you so relieved of me?"

Lin Yujing didn't know why the topic suddenly changed to this kind of vague midnight theater, although it might not be appropriate to say this today.

But it is better to hit the sun than to choose the day.

It's so annoying to drag on.

Break the jar and smash it.

She swallowed the food in her mouth, then wrapped the sandwich in plastic wrap, put it on the coffee table, turned her head, and looked at him seriously: "Shen Juan."

"Huh?" Shen Juan responded casually.

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?" Lin Yu asked in surprise.

Shen Juan's lazy expression froze, he was quiet for at least ten seconds, and asked, "What?"

"..."

Lin Yujing remained expressionless: "If you don't want to, forget it."

As she spoke, she leaned forward and was about to get a sandwich and eat it.

Shen Juan quickly sat up straight, raised her hand and pushed away the sandwich she put on the coffee table: "Think."

Shen Juan stared at her, and repeated: "I think, I don't think so, you go on."

Lin Yujing wanted to laugh a little, she lowered her head and secretly bent her lips, then raised her head to look at him: "Then, if you are my boyfriend now, what are you going to do?"

Shen Juan: "..."

Shen Juan was at a loss for a moment.

He really hadn't deliberately thought about what he was going to do in the future.

Shen Juan's purpose was very clear, his own thoughts were settled, and Lin Yujing's thoughts were basically 70% to 80% understood, so he didn't want to dawdle.

Very simply, I want to engrave his name on this person.

his girl.

His, girlfriend.

And then, hug

Then a kiss

And then... what

As soon as Lin Yujing asked this question, more than 1,800 thoughts quickly ran through Shen Juan's mind.

Those unspeakable little movies that I watched with Jiang Han and Songnan before began to flash through my mind.

Only then did he realize that he had such a good memory.

You didn’t feel distracted when you watched it, did you? Why are you so active when it comes time to use it

Once such colored thoughts appeared, they began to multiply like bacteria in a petri dish. The upright, youthful and restless 18-year-old student Shen Juan began to feel a little restless.

Just when he almost couldn't hold back a glance at his pants, he saw Lin Yujing suddenly leaning over from the corner of his eye.

Shen Juan raised his eyes.

Lin Yu was still sitting cross-legged on the sofa in astonishment, leaning over with one hand supporting the cushion, pressing his upper body, looking at him from the bottom up: "Did you forget that I'm only sixteen years old."

Shen Juan: "..."

Shen Juan felt as if someone pinned his head and plunged him into the snowdrift, and he woke up instantly.

All the little movies about this and that are gone.

Not only is it gone, the movie started to rewind, and every kiss went back, back to the hug.

Lin Yu was still lying on his stomach in surprise, changed his posture, propped his elbows on the sofa, rested his face, looked at him with his head tilted, blinked his eyes, and raised the corners of his lips: "Brother, what can you do at the age of sixteen?" ?”

… Hold.

Shen Juan's eyelids twitched.

He held his breath for two seconds, looked down at her, and said in a hoarse voice, "Lin Yujing, don't give me a sip of wine from now on."

Lin Yujing finally couldn't bear it anymore, she collapsed on the sofa and laughed.

Shen Juan watched her huddle up next to him, couldn't stop laughing, and couldn't help grinding his teeth.

He collapsed into the sofa, looked at her deeply, and lost his temper after being tortured by her: "Is it fun to play with me?"

Lin Yujing finally stopped laughing and raised her head: "I'm not joking, I'm serious, I have to understand what's going on in your heart." She paused, "Shen Juan, I don't want to fall in love, I I think it's a bit of a delay."

Lin Yu raised his head in shock: "What if you don't like me in the future?"

"No." He whispered.

"Then I don't like you anymore?" Lin Yu said in surprise, "Sixteen or seventeen years old, how long can I keep liking you?"

Shen Juan didn't speak, just looked at her silently.

These two questions directly caused the atmosphere to freeze. After a long silence between the two of them, Lin Yujing moved first. She jumped off the sofa and put on her shoes: "I'm going home."

Shen Juan glanced at his watch, it was almost half past ten.

He took a deep breath, stood up, and grabbed the coat on the sofa: "I'll see you off."

"No need." Lin Yujing had just slumped on the sofa for a long time, her hair was a little messy, she raised her hand to tie it up again, "My house is very close, I can just go back by myself."

Shen Juan turned around: "It's half past ten."

Lin Yu blinked at him in surprise, and flapped his long eyelashes: "I'll send you a message when I get home?"

Shen Juan pursed his lips and looked at her for two seconds, sighed, and compromised: "Send a voice."

"Okay, voice," she agreed readily, pushed the door open, walked to the iron gate, and turned around.

Shen Juan also walked over and handed her the coat in his hand: "Put it on, it's cold."

Lin Yujing took it and put it on slowly.

Shen Juan stuffed his hands into his pockets, didn't say a word, just looked down at her to wear it.

The jacket was too big and the sleeves were very long. She raised her arm and shook it, freeing her fingers from the cuff.

Satisfied, the little girl raised her head.

The wind was strong, and Shen Juan helped her stand up the collar of her coat to cover her exposed neck: "Go."

Lin Yu didn't move in shock, she stood there for two seconds, then she suddenly took a step forward, raised her hand, put a small white fingertip on his shoulder, and leaned over.

Shen Juan didn't react.

She felt that she was supporting his shoulders and standing on tiptoes, but the height was still not enough, she raised her hand and pulled his collar down, and put her head close to his ear, her voice was soft and soft: "Good night, boyfriend .”

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