"..." Shu Nian stared blankly at him, still a little dazed. She sniffed, as if trying to figure out the meaning of his words, and asked hesitantly, "Your girlfriend?"
Xie Ruhe still stared at her, hummed in a low voice.
Shunian's tears didn't fall anymore, she said foolishly, "Isn't it just me?"
Xie Ruhe curled his lips: "It's you."
"Oh." Shu Nian looked back and thought about it again. She scratched her head, looking a little depressed, and then asked softly: "Then do I have to apologize?"
"You don't need to explain it to me."
"Explain what..."
"Explain—" Speaking of this, Xie Ruhe's voice stopped for a few seconds, and the roots of his ears became hot. He licked his lips and cleared his throat, "Explain, I like Shunian very much."
Hearing this, Shu Nian suddenly looked at him, his originally dull and dull expression changed. Her eyes were still wet, her thoughts seemed to be emptied in an instant, and she subconsciously repeated his words: "I like Shunian very much."
Xie Ruhe never thought that Shu Nian would repeat himself.
He froze for a moment, lowered his eyes, and noticed her dazed and nervous expression.
As if thinking of something, Xie Ruhe licked his lips, his expression became unnatural. After a few seconds, he lowered his voice and said, "Explain, I like Xie Ruhe very much."
Shu Nian stared at him, his words were completely out of his head, and he repeated mechanically: "I like Xie Ruhe very much."
The room fell silent.
Xie Ruhe turned his head sideways, put the back of his hand against his lips, and hid the upturned corners of his mouth.
Shu Nian blinked, and instantly realized what he just said. Her mouth was open, her face flushed instantly, and she stood up in bewilderment, her movements stiff like a robot.
Before she lifted her foot, Xie Ruhe pulled her back.
Shu Nian completely forgot what he said before, only felt that he had been teased by him, didn't know what to say, and felt bored. She lowered her head, pursed her lips and said nothing.
"I heard it." Xie Ruhe raised her chin, her voice was suppressed with breath, a little hoarse, "Thank you, I like you very much too."
Shunian went into the bathroom and washed his face, trying to cool down his face.
The self in the mirror has fair skin, red eyes and nose, like a rabbit. The color of the lips also became darker, as if they had just been ravaged by something, and they were a little more gorgeous than usual.
She licked her lips, couldn't help but lowered her head and washed her face again.
Thinking of what Xie Ruhe said, "I like Shunian very much", Shunian's heart felt empty and he left the bathroom in confusion.
Xie Ruhe was still sitting in the original position, and raised his eyes to look at her when he heard the movement. Noticing his lips, Shu Nian turned her head away uncomfortably, pretending to climb onto the bed calmly.
Xie Ruhe took the initiative to ask: "Do you still want to sleep?"
Shu Nian said vaguely, "I won't sleep anymore..."
"Then sit down."
Shu Nian paused, and slowly crawled in front of him.
The two sat facing each other.
There were still a few drops of water on Shu Nian's face, and his skin was crystal clear, so white that it seemed to be transparent. The corners of her mouth were slightly raised, her mood didn't look as bad as before, but she still said little.
She didn't take the initiative to speak.
After a while.
"Nian Nian, you always have your own thoughts." Xie Ruhe said suddenly, with a slow and steady voice, "No matter if what you say will anger other people, or if someone argues with you, you will never agree with what you think is right. change your mind."
Shu Nian raised his eyes: "Huh?"
"And I also think your thoughts are right. So all this time." Xie Ruhe met her eyes, "I will not refuse what you say you want to do, and I don't want to force you to do it. Even if you say you don't want to Go to the doctor, I will feel, you have your thoughts, your reasons."
"..."
Xie Ruhe raised his hand and scratched his hair: "There is also an element that I don't know what to do. I just think that if you do what you want, maybe you will be happier and your life will be better."
His tone made Shunian feel more at a loss than directly reprimanding her. She didn't know how to answer, so she could only hang her head and listen to Xie Ruhe finish speaking.
Xie Ruhe considered his words, and said again: "It's the same this time."
Shunian played with her fingers: "What."
"I hope you can see a psychiatrist." Xie Ruhe looked very serious, "But if you don't want to go, I won't force you to go. Besides, it's impossible for me to leave you."
Shu Nian raised his head, looking dazed.
In the past, even if Deng Qingyu never showed any trace of tiredness and unbearable in front of her, because of Wang Hao's existence, Shu Nian would feel like a burden.
In the time of extreme despair and pain, Shu Nian even thought about it. Wouldn't it be better if in that disaster, on the day Zeng Yuanxue captured her, she chose to die because she couldn't bear it
Then she wouldn't have to live like this, and wouldn't drag her mother down.
Deng Qingyu, who has a new family, will not let her quarrel with her husband day and night, and cry because of her sleepless nights.
At that time.
Shu Nian wakes up every day and sees heavy curtains, closed doors, and three locked locks, firm and heavy, like a thick haze that cannot be dispelled no matter what.
I never thought about opening the curtains in the past to see whether it was night outside or a sunny day with the sun hanging. Lives in a muddle, not knowing what happened outside, depressed and gloomy.
She never thought she would get better.
I just want to live very much, but it is difficult to live, and I feel that this day should not last for a long time. Maybe one day, she will choose a sunny day to bid farewell to this world.
Roughly such a life.
But never thought about it.
One day, she will meet someone.
In her darkest hour, save her from the abyss and heal her wounds one by one. He even regarded her, who was clearly a burden, as a treasure.
Shu Nian asked nonchalantly, "Do you want me to go?"
Xie Ruhe said, "Yes."
"Oh." Shunian sniffed, and said obediently, "Then I'll go."
Xie Ruhe breathed a sigh of relief, and suddenly thought of something: "You don't need to ask Auntie for money."
Shu Nian silently took out his phone, opened the bank to check the balance, and hummed without confidence.
Xie Ruhe said: "You use mine."
Hearing this, Shu Nian immediately shook his head: "No."
Xie Ruhe frowned: "Why not."
"I don't know how long the treatment will take, and the cost is not cheap." Shu Nian's eyelashes trembled slightly, and he muttered, "I can sell the house..."
Xie Ruhe thought for a while, and roughly understood what she meant: "Do you think I can't afford it?"
Shu Nian was taken aback by his words, and quickly waved his hands: "No, no."
As if he didn't hear her denial, Xie Ruhe stared sideways at her, settled for tens of seconds, and then promised: "I will work hard."
"..." Shu Nian was taken aback by his serious appearance, and said bluntly, "Okay."
Xie Ruhe raised his lips and couldn't help touching her head.
Soon, Shu Nian realized something was wrong. She frowned, and explained very seriously, rigidly like a little old man: "I think this is a lot of money, I can't ask you to pay me so much money."
Xie Ruhe thought for a while: "Then you will treat it as your money."
Shu Nian looked stubborn: "But this is your money."
"It will be yours in the future."
"Huh? Why."
"Because, we will get married in the future." Xie Ruhe looked down at her, his Adam's apple moved up and down, and then said, "So you can take it as a fact that you used your future money in advance."
"..."
Shu Nian suddenly lost the mood to reason with him.
She focused all her attention on his previous sentence, and her expression was empty. After a while, Shu Nian whispered, his face looked very calm: "Okay."
silence.
After an unknown amount of time, Shu Nian suddenly got into the quilt and hid his whole body inside.
Xie Ruhe said this impulsively, but also because he was at a loss for what he said. Sensing Shunian's actions, his eyes paused, and he asked stiffly, "What's wrong?"
Shu Nian didn't say a word.
Xie Ruhe pursed his lips and asked again.
Still silent.
He moved his position, just as he was about to continue asking.
The person in the quilt suddenly spoke, and the voice sounded muffled: "Can you have an early warning before you say these words in the future, high-energy early warning or something..."
Xie Ruhe said: "Huh?"
"Otherwise I will, then what, that is." Shu Nian revealed two eyes from under the quilt, and said softly, "Maybe you can't see it, I will be a little... embarrassed."
"..."
Xie Ruhe was stunned for a moment, and his nervousness dissipated. He bent his eyes, stretched out his hand to touch her eyes, and chuckled softly: "I can't quite see it."
Xie Ruhe asked Shu Nian for his opinion, but in the end he still didn't change the psychiatrist.
Although Shu Nian said that, she also knew that it was definitely not the psychiatrist's problem, and a large part of it was that she couldn't get out of the shadows. Wang Yue has been doing a good job and understands her situation very well. They get along very well.
And if you change doctors, you have to have a running-in period with the new doctor.
Shu Nan has no intention of changing psychiatrists.
After thinking it over clearly, Shu Nian called and made an appointment with ease.
The next afternoon, she went out with Xie Ruhe. It had been several days since he had stepped out of the house, but perhaps because of Xie Ruhe's presence, Shu Nian felt that it was not as scary as he imagined.
Shu Nian was led away by Xie Ruhe, and he said out of words: "The few times I saw you in the hospital before, I went for psychological treatment."
Xie Ruhe nodded: "Have you been there recently?"
Shu Nian thought about it, and said honestly, "It seems like I haven't gone for a few months, because I don't have time and it doesn't affect my life, so I can't remember going."
Xie Ruhe's expression was thoughtful: "Is there a fixed time?"
"Yes." Shu Nian said, "Usually every Thursday morning, because I have to go to the recording studio in the afternoon and evening. If I have time, I might switch to the afternoon, because I want to sleep in."
"..."
"Then it became the 6th of every month."
Xie Ruhe seemed to be doing something very important, so he carefully wrote it down: "I will remind you later."
Shu Nian looked up at him, watching him earnestly write down something in the notepad of the phone. She thought about it, and inexplicably brought up a topic: "Did you like me before?"
Xie Ruhe said, "Yes."
Shu Nian was a little curious: "Then why didn't you tell me?"
Hearing this, Xie Ruhe stopped the movement of his hands and looked sideways at her. Think about the scene if you told her at that time, and the possible results.
The line of his lips straightened, and he said honestly, "You will scold me if you say so."