Gu Yan has always felt that he has nothing to fear. He is used to seeing life and death, no matter what kind of situation he faces, he thinks that he can face it calmly.
But in this picturesque and beautiful world, there is a place that he never wants to set foot again.
This inexplicable place bound his body, tortured his soul, brought him endless pain, made him unable to escape, and had nowhere to escape. Make him realize how powerless he really is.
One step away, it's like being in hell again from the world.
Again... why again... Gu Yan's eyes were blank, his face was pale, his hands were holding his head, what did he forget
Or, as Qin Yao said, even though he tried his best to forget these memories, his instinct still remembered these pains.
Why... He has already abandoned the past so thoroughly, why not let him go!
Had he never escaped
Gu Yan stretched out his hands to cover his ears, blocking out the noise around him.
The endless pain overwhelmed him again, and he finally understood what the helplessness and sorrow was at the beginning, it was despair, the despair that he could not escape no matter what. He lives so tired, he has been living for his parents, relatives, and the people of his country. He works hard to do what he thinks is right, to protect those who need protection, but what did he get in the end... His allegiance The king killed him cruelly, the people he protected feared him, his parents rejected him, and finally died because of his encumbrance. The blood of his relatives poured on the ground above his head, and the strong resentment was torn apart like substance. Biting him, let him have no peace for a moment.
He thought he was mentally prepared to bear any pain, but he wasn't.
He didn't understand until even death became a luxury...
He's not that powerful, not that great.
He will be sad and resentful...
He didn't want to go on like this anymore, the endless torture made him crazy, he wanted to escape from here, stop it all.
No matter what the price is,
Even if you sell your soul to the devil,
He is willing.
A smile appeared on the corner of Gu Yan's mouth, pain and smile mixed into some kind of extremely twisted and terrifying expression.
He is not the same as before, he has escaped! This day and this place can no longer oppress him! He finally understands why he came back, this is his destiny, this is the meaning of his existence... He came back to destroy everything with his own hands!
He gritted his teeth, and the pain exploded in his mind, wave after wave. His legs trembled slightly, but he didn't kneel down anymore, and stood with all his might... Stand up, walk out of here... How could this corner be a cage to trap him...
There is no formation here anymore...
It's been a thousand years...
Everything in the past has been reduced to fly ash, why should he... still be trapped in the past.
One step, two steps, three steps...
Gu Yan stopped his last steps, his eyes shot out a fierce light, and he finally walked out. He looked up at the sky, it had been a thousand years, and nothing could suppress him anymore, he suddenly wanted to laugh out loud, but his whole body collapsed, and with a slight shake, he fell forward...
A hand reached out in time to support him.
Gu Yan looked up at Qin Yao who was hugging him with complicated eyes.
"It seems that you don't need my help anymore." Qin Yao said expressionlessly.
Gu Yan looked at him fixedly, then slowly raised his hand, caressing Qin Yao's side face, his fingers gently slid across Qin Yao's face, tracing his facial outline, and finally his fingertips rested on his lips. Seeing Qin Yao's face suddenly changing color and the panic flashing in his eyes, he suddenly couldn't help laughing, and coughed as he laughed.
After a long while, Gu Yan regained his breath and said, "Why did you do this?"
What if he doesn't get out? If he had to stay in the painful past for eternity, would Qin Yao really help him out? Abandoning the only chance, the only hope of getting that person back—just to fulfill him? One of his most hated monsters
Qin Yao turned his head away, half lowered his eyes, "It's time to go back. Since you don't want to die, you have to finish what you promised me."
"Filming?" Gu Yan raised his lips. He put his hands on Qin Yao's shoulders, and his whole body hung on Qin Yao like a koala because of his lack of strength. This image seemed to have no momentum at all, but Qin Yao seemed afraid to face him Similarly, he carried him back to the car in two or three steps, and shoved him in rudely.
Gu Yan leaned back on the chair, his eyes gleamed coldly, and his tone was cold and evil, "You don't think I'll change my past, do you? By the way... we can be regarded as being honest with each other now, and lying to each other is okay." It's boring. Why don't you just tell you that even if I don't fear the past anymore, I won't become a good person, I hate everything in this world, and not being afraid anymore just makes me more unscrupulous."
Qin Yao didn't look at him, just sat upright, and just started the car.
Gu Yan said again: "Don't you believe it? Do you think I will be grateful to you if you help me once?"
Qin Yao seemed impatient at last, he turned his head and said lightly, "I never wanted you to thank me."
"Heh..." Gu Yan sneered.
"As for whether you can be unscrupulous." Qin Yao glanced at Gu Yan and smiled softly, "It seems that I am the one who decides this now."
…………………
Qin Yao really did what he said, it was as if what happened that night never happened, and the filming of the movie was still proceeding in an orderly manner.
When Gu Yan was filming again, he would not easily fall into that kind of grief, anger and despair.
He knew everything clearly, and occasionally remembered the past memories, intermittently, although he still disdained the stupid and persistent self he used to be, but he thought he could let go.
He's never felt so good before.
Forgetting and escaping are not the solution to the problem. Only by facing the pain and fear of the past can we overcome ourselves.
Qin Yao obviously knew this.
Two months passed in a flash, and the movie was about to be finished in a blink of an eye.
These two months have been a great test for the entire crew, and now it's finally the end, and everyone is very excited.
For Gu Yan, this is the most relaxing movie he has ever made.
He can act however he wants, even if his lines are wrong or his expressions are wrong, no one will stop him. It's like a one-man show for him, and everyone else is just a marionette for him.
In the past two months, Gu Yan has not contacted Tongtong and other monsters once.
Gu Yan is not in a hurry either. If there are difficulties and dangers over there, he will definitely find a way to contact him. No news now is the best news, which means everything is going well.
And... Actually, Gu Yan is a little confused now.
It’s not that he suddenly realized his conscience. Remembering his persistence and wanting to regret it, Gu Yan always felt that he was very stupid in the past. The stupid one never thinks about himself, doesn’t fight for himself, and always keeps silent pay. If he doesn't say it, who knows what he thinks? So he deserved what he ended up in the end... Now he will never be so stupid again, he will only live for himself.
However, the desire to open a channel to occupy the world has faded a lot. It's not because I want to protect anything, but I just find it boring.
His obsession, his resentment... He finally returned to the human world, intending to bring destruction and death to this world. It was something that was rooted deep in his heart. He used to not think about the reason, nor did he care. But now he knows, he knows what he wants to do.
At this time...but suddenly discovered that all the hatred had dissipated thousands of years ago, and the revenge lost its target all at once, so what's the point
Going around, he was the only one left.
Everyone is dead, he is alive.
Neither Gu Yan nor Qin Yao had much interest in the celebration banquet of the crew.
Gu Yan didn't have anything to pack, Qin Yao picked him up at that time, he was alone, he didn't even drive the car, and now he is alone when he goes back. He decided to go back. Although the house he wanted to go back to did not belong to him and could only be regarded as a temporary foothold, he had no other place to go except there.
Gu Yan walked out slowly, he knew that Qin Yao should appear at this moment, and Qin Yao had been by his side during this time.
"Are you leaving?" Qin Yao really came, and he was waiting at the exit.
Gu Yan nodded and spread his hands, "The filming is over."
At first he found it hard to live like this, but then he realized that it wasn't that bad, but before he got used to it, it was over again. There is always a banquet in the world, and he doesn't think that the current self can give Qin Yao anything he wants.
Some things he doesn't have, and some things he doesn't want to give.
If it was him who used to be, maybe he would feel guilty, even if the whole world felt sorry for him, Qin Yao never did, Qin Yao was someone he cared about. But now he no longer thinks about other people's feelings, from one extreme to another... He has no intention of wronging himself to help others, and he doesn't want to lose himself because he cares about others. Put in that passive position.
So all feelings that shouldn't be there should be stopped in time.
So only sorry.
Qin Yao's lips moved, as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say.
Gu Yan smiled softly, "You know? I don't care at all whether your behavior hurt me indirectly or not. It doesn't matter to me. Even if you did it on purpose, I wouldn't care. But... I miss you What I wanted was not my answer, so I thought about it later, if it was the me I used to be, I probably wouldn’t blame you. He can forgive those who treat him worse or too much, how could he not forgive What about your small mistake? So you really don't have to take it to heart, even if he knows, he will definitely forgive you. "
Forgiveness is probably the only thing he can give Qin Yao.
Even though he never blamed him, Qin Yao cared, he couldn't get past his own hurdle. Qin Yao helped him once, and he rewarded him once. At least one thing has not changed, no matter the past or present, he always has clear grievances and grievances.
He does not allow himself to owe anything to others.
"I'm leaving, so take care, next time we meet, I don't think we need to show mercy." Gu Yan said.
Qin Yao looked at him and clenched his hands, "What if I don't let you go?"
Gu Yan narrowed his eyes, "Then we don't have to be merciful now, life and death are fate, I won't blame you."
Qin Yao suddenly punched the pillar hard, breaking a huge concrete pillar!
He turned around and walked over quickly, staring at Gu Yan with dark eyes, grinning, "As expected of a free and easy high-level monster, it is really cold-hearted. Oh, no... it is heartless. Fortunately, I, Qin Yao, also He's not the silly boy he was back then, so don't think too highly of yourself, thinking that I really can't leave you!"
Gu Yan met Qin Yao's eyes, his heart trembled, he took a step back involuntarily, and said in a deep voice, "That would be the best."
A low laugh came from Qin Yao's throat, and he sarcastically said, "Really..." Then he reached out and grabbed Gu Yan by the collar and pressed him against the wall, his handsome face approached, "You have to leave anyway How about sleeping with me before you leave? Anyway, you don’t care, as for me, if I taste it, I won’t miss it, and I won’t miss you any more. What do you think of this proposal?”