'The unexamined life is not worth living! ' This is what Socrates said, and this sentence can be summed up in two words: 'faith'.
Faith is where your trust lies. But unlike trust, faith is also where your value lies and is the mark of your soul.
The empty room had only one bed; there was a window, but it was not installed. On one wall of the confinement room, four large characters were painted: Deep Reflection. Occasionally, a breeze passed through the window, disturbing the airflow in the room, causing two or three of the papers scattered on the bedside to float down and fall silently to the ground. All the papers were blank, except for one, which had two words neatly written on the top: Check.
Su Qing came on the first day of confinement. She pretended to be indifferent with an expressionless face. She left a few pieces of white paper, threw down her worn-out fountain pen, and said calmly: "Write a self-criticism, which must be comprehensive and in-depth." Then she turned and left.
On the second day of confinement, Su Qing came again. After entering the room, he flipped through the blank papers directly. His face turned pale and he told Hu Yi coldly: "This is an order!" Then he slammed the door and left.
Today is the third day of confinement. At this moment, Hu Yi is half leaning on the head of the bed, fiddling with the pen in his hand.
There were the sounds of footsteps coming from outside the door, approaching from far away, and a clear stomping sound; it was Xiao Bing saluting.
The door opened, but Hu Yi still didn't react, letting the worn pen continue to flip at his fingertips.
"What do you mean?" The voice was light, but it was cold.
Hu Yi turned his head and looked at the papers scattered on the ground, and then at the pair of delicate cloth shoes standing beside the papers. The white socks were exposed outside the black edges, and they were obviously yellowed due to excessive washing, and covered with a layer of dust, but it did not affect the beautiful ankle outline.
"It's the wind, not me."
"That's not what I'm asking!"
"What is that?"
"In three days, you can only write two words, right?"
"… "
"This means... you didn't do anything wrong? Right?"
"… "
"Or... you can't even stand yourself anymore? You don't dare to write anymore? You're scared? You don't dare to look in the mirror anymore?"
Hu Yi was tired, exhausted. A man without faith, he lost his only belief, which made him feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and suffocated. Although there was dazzling sunlight, he felt darkness. He just wanted to stay quietly, like a wounded bird, perched high on a lonely branch, quietly combing his injured feathers.
To this end, he did not hesitate to let Ma Liang falsely accuse him so that he could return to the confinement room, the quiet place he liked from the beginning, away from the hustle and bustle.
The tree wants to be still but the wind does not stop. Hu Yi couldn't understand why Su Qing came to this place, turning what should have been a peaceful confinement life into torment.
Hu Yi slowly raised his gaze, leaving her beautiful ankles, climbing up her well-proportioned legs, sliding across her round hips, around her slender waist bound by a belt, stroking a pair of towering breasts, and finally, resting his gaze on the pair of beautiful yet cold black pupils.
"Have you ever been really tired? So tired that you don't want to do anything anymore. I'm just tired."
"… "
When those narrow eyes began to slowly and carefully scan his body from bottom to top, Su Qing suddenly felt an extremely strange feeling in his heart. This feeling was very uncomfortable, but he was not rejected by his body; this feeling seemed to be sharp enough to cut through his clothes, leaving him naked, accompanied by a deep sense of shame, which made him at a loss for a moment.
When their eyes met, Su Qing finally realized that the pair of narrow eyes that used to be deep were no longer the same as before. The bottom of the eyes lost their resolute luster and sharpness. They were no longer a black abyss, but a gray void. It was like a well that was drying up, the water surface was dropping inch by inch, and the true background began to faintly reveal itself, deep and gray, vaguely visible, at the end, there were pieces of broken debris, a lifeless sadness that could make anyone who looked directly at it inexplicably heartbroken.
This is an illusion, this must be an illusion. There should be a devil living in his eyes, a black devil, a merciless devil, hideous and decadent, arrogant and bloodthirsty, dominating his heart. Su Qing warned herself again and again in her heart: Don't be blinded by the devil, don't be blinded by the devil! But the maternal instinct drove her to continue to look at the deep sorrow.
“Actually, I tried to write it.”
"… "
"But I can only write two words. The rest is the same as these papers."
"… "
Su Qing seemed to have turned into a cold yet beautiful sculpture and did not respond at all.
This woman... is very stupid, but very tenacious; very cold, but always able to shine. She is beautiful, not because she is beautiful, but because she is beautiful in my eyes; so, even if she is cold, even if she curses, even if she is indifferent to me, what can it do? She is still in my eyes, this is an inescapable demon, until it slowly consumes my spirit, my blood, and my hope.
Hu Yi didn't know why Su Qing stopped talking and remained still; he didn't understand why she didn't get angry and continue to slander him like usual, but just looked at him expressionlessly like an ice sculpture.
So Hu Yi smiled at her faintly, then looked away and looked out the window at the distant green mountains in the sunshine.
The confinement room became quiet. I could hear the noise of the new recruits on the playground, the birds singing in the distant mountains, I could hear everything, for a long time.
"I also had times when I was very tired. That was before I joined the revolution." Su Qing suddenly spoke calmly. His tone was so calm that it surprised Hu Yi. He had never been treated like this before.
"… "
“If you want to be a person with a soul, you must first have faith and be willing to fight for it.”
"I have."
"That's not your belief, but your shameless selfish desire!" Su Qing knew what Hu Yi's answer meant. Her heart, which had originally calmed down, was immediately stirred again. She only said two sentences calmly before being forced by Hu Yi to raise her voice significantly.
“I never believe what I can’t see.”
"That's why you became like this! A selfish and cold-blooded deserter."
"So, now you want to impose a belief on me?"
"yes."
"Why?"
"Because..." Su Qing was stuck. If this was a task required by the political commissar, based on Hu Yi's character, then the conversation would end here. Su Qing took a deep breath through her beautiful nose and exhaled slowly before she spoke again: "You need faith."
"I don't think so."
"you… "
Seeing Su Qing suppressing her anger, Hu Yi couldn't help but feel suspicious. According to her temper and the complicated relationship between her and me, she should have said something harsh to me and then slammed the door and left. But now, what happened to her
"You are a soldier, you are a squad leader, at least you should consider your soldiers. Deliberately making mistakes and deceiving your superiors, how can you be qualified to lead the troops? Do you know how bad the impact is? You don't deserve... that... at least, you should do your duty as a soldier!"
Su Qing spoke again. He said that the issue of faith could not be discussed and the root cause could not be solved. He had to treat the symptoms and let him leave the confinement room first. However, he was angry when he spoke and almost started to attack Hu Yi again. He barely suppressed his emotions and took the topic back.
This time Hu Yi finally figured it out. This woman had been pestering him for three days, but today she was acting out of character, suppressing her anger and trying to persuade him earnestly. It turned out that she was sent by the political commissar to carry out orders to do ideological work.
Hu Yi suddenly smiled, still very faintly: "The political commissar sent you here, so I can leave here by myself."
"… "
"In fact, you can just say it briefly. How can I make it difficult for you?" Hu Yi lowered his head and sighed deeply, then raised it again: "I just want to be quiet for a while. I'm very tired and my head hurts. Okay, I'll leave here in a while."
No matter what, as long as he could leave the confinement room on his own initiative, he would be able to complete his mission. Su Qing, with a cold face, stopped talking and hesitated, and turned around to walk towards the door of the confinement room.
The sunlight poured in from outside the door, shining brightly, and fell on the floor of the confinement room, forming a long slanted door frame pattern. In the middle, a long slanted beautiful figure became fainter and farther away in the dazzling light.
…
The sun was setting, and the kitchen yard was bustling again because it was time for dinner.
Habits become second nature. This saying makes sense. Since the first day that Class 9 arrived at Dabei Village, they shamelessly occupied the long table in the middle of the yard that could seat more than a dozen people. Since then, the table seemed to be engraved with the name of Class 9 and became a special seat for them. Whenever Class 9 came, everyone else had to move away. Only a few people from Class 9 sat at the long table.
With a table to themselves, Class Nine felt comfortable eating, and some people felt comfortable too, including Xiaohong and Kuihua from the medical team, Xiaobing from the regiment and the signalmen, and all those who had a good relationship with Class Nine and were close friends with Xiao Hongying, would rush to this table as soon as they came, because they wanted to be spacious and natural, and eat comfortably while chatting with the people from Class Nine.
This is a typical faction, a warlord style. However, no one dared to complain, no one dared to raise opinions, because they couldn't afford to offend anyone. Once this matter was raised, it would not only make enemies with Class 9 and the wicked girl, but also offend the people in the regiment, the medical team, and the kitchen team. Who would dare to cause trouble? This is no different from courting death!
Thanks to the urging of Luo Fugui, who believed that food was the most important thing for the people, Class Nine sat down to eat early. Not long after, Xiaohong and Kuihua also came into the yard, sat next to Xiaohongying, and laughed while eating. After a while, two signalmen from the regiment headquarters came, sat near Ma Liang, put their arms around each other and chatted, waiting for their meals to be served.
Xiao Hongying puffed her cheeks and chewed something while she asked the two communicators on the other side in a vague voice: "Hey, why are there only the two of you today? Where's Xiaodou?"
A messenger said, "He has gone to the division and will be back tomorrow." Then he suddenly remembered something, put his face close to the table, lowered his voice and looked around at the people at the table and said, "Hey, do you know that someone from our regiment is coming?"
Luo Fugui was only focused on eating and had no interest in other things. Liu Jianqiang was not a gossipy person, so he didn't react much. Wu Shitou was like air, not a human. Ma Liang, Xiao Hongying, Xiao Hong and Kuihua were extremely interested and immediately stopped eating, staring and waiting for answers.
"Secretary Yang, the one who escorted Doctor Zhou last time, will be transferred to our regiment!" The signalman gave the answer while showing off the chopsticks in his hand.
"Ah - really? Is it the handsome one?" Xiaohong and Kuihua looked so infatuated that they almost jumped up.
Xiao Hongying almost choked, her cheeks were covered with soup and rice grains. She looked at the two silly girls beside her with a frown on her face, speechless.
At this time, Xiao Bing came. He sat next to Kuihua and Xiaohong in a carefree manner, turned his head and greeted the people in the kitchen: "Hey, Xiao San'er, serve my portion first. I'm starving." Then he asked everyone at the table: "What are you talking about? Girl, why are you like this? Haha... Hahaha..."
"What's it to you!" Xiao Hongying replied unhappily.
Suddenly, Xiao Bing asked again: "Hey, where is squad leader Hu? Why didn't he come?"
Ma Liang looked up at Xiao Bing and said, "Nonsense, you are in charge of the confinement room, what do you think?"
Xiao Bing was stunned: "Ah? That's not right. Squad Leader Hu left the confinement room this afternoon."
"What?..."