Deserter from War

Chapter 22: A reason to live

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At noon, a camphor tree stood alone beside the winding path, its freehand crown looking at the sunlight, as if waiting for something.

Sometimes fateful experiences overlap. On a rainy night a day ago, Wang Laokou had sat here to rest, and now it has welcomed its second visitor.

Hu Yi turned the rifle on his back to his chest, untied the dry food bag on his back and threw it aside. In it were more than a dozen sweet potatoes that had been roasted in the morning. He sat on the ground leaning against the tree trunk and turned his head to look in the direction he came from. The sound of artillery fire continued to come fiercely. The Japanese began to attack Songjiang, where the 108th Division and the army headquarters were. This was the second day of the 67th Army's mission.

Now all this has nothing to do with him. After staring blankly for a while, Hu Yi turned his head back, grabbed the name tag on his chest, pulled it off violently, and threw it on the ground.

A breeze blew by, carrying up the square piece of white cloth with a blue border, white background, black text and a red stamp in the middle. The word "Hu Yi", a soldier from the 3rd Company, 1st Battalion, 638th Regiment, 107th Division, rolled in the wind, slid into the ditch, was gradually submerged by the turbid water, and slowly flowed away.

Close your eyes and rest your head on the camphor tree, and feel it quietly for a while, you can smell the faint scent of camphor wood. Saying goodbye to the army and officially becoming a deserter does not seem to make me feel relieved. The empty path is right under my feet, and it can only indicate the chance of survival, but nothing else, because I have no future.

That woman... She should have left the village by now, right? She should have left, I have already untied her rope. Sooner or later, the place will be swept by the advancing Japanese invaders, she should know that. Did I do something wrong? Ever since the incident, when he hurriedly left the room, Hu Yi had asked himself this question countless times. Did I do something wrong? At least she killed the fool, she should pay the price, it seems that this is the only justifiable reason. Is this really a reason

A breeze blew gently, passing by the lonely camphor tree, taking away a faint fragrance and drifting towards the smoke in the distance. Hu Yi walked back onto the path, gradually going farther away and becoming insignificant.

Although the weather was clear, the ground was still muddy in large areas, because this was not a road, but a wilderness on both sides of the railway. Now the weeds were trampled into the mud, and there were messy overlapping footprints. Compared with a few days ago, the Shanghai-Nanjing Railway was more bustling and noisy. It was no longer just a gray flow of people, but now mixed with a variety of colors. Large numbers of refugees also joined this surging "river of people" and slowly moved westward.

Everyone's expression was almost numb, and they moved forward mechanically. Some sat in the mud and cried, and some lay in the weeds and gasped. This huge flow of people seemed to be a whole, but it was also countless cold hearts. No one cared about their surroundings.

Su Qing stumbled and fell into the mud pit after being pushed by a passing mule and horse cart. She was still wearing the same muddy plain gray cheongsam, but now she was wearing a worn-out coat she found in the village. She climbed out of the mud pit and stood up again, but she felt a sharp pain and almost fell again. A bent tree root accidentally hurt Su Qing's delicate ankle.

None of this stopped her from moving forward. She raised her slim hands covered in dirt, wiped the sweat from her cheeks, and continued to stagger forward. Although she had more than a dozen dollars on her, the situation was different from what Su Qing had imagined. No one here would give up food for dollars. Su Qing didn't know how far she could go in her weakness. Maybe she could hold on for another day, and then like many others, she would never get up again and become a corpse in the mud.

But Su Qing did not regret it. She had been aware of this since she joined the organization and was ready to sacrifice. Her precious chastity was taken away by a despicable deserter, which left a deep wound in her heart, but failed to break Su Qing's will. Instead, it stimulated her stubborn character. She still had faith, supporting her to move forward. The file must be handed over to the organization!

Buzz—the shadow of an airplane appeared in the distant sky, and the humming sound foreshadowed the coming of the plague. The originally slow flow of people suddenly became panic, rushing, trampling, screaming, and wailing recklessly, and was then drowned out by the sound of the explosion.

Su Qing was staggering and was knocked down by the surging crowd of panicked people again. The severe pain made it impossible for her to stand up again. She could only curl up her legs and sit in the mud. She turned her head unwillingly and looked at the steel monster in the low sky. It was flying over with a strange roar, and its wings kept flashing with flames. It shot out two rows of continuous blood mist along the crowd, getting closer and clearer...

The terrified civilians had no idea how to avoid this flying death, they just ran forward with their heads in their hands. Soldiers who had never experienced the strafing of planes just lay down on the ground, not realizing whether they were in the flight path of the planes. The two lines of death extended along the flow of people, harvesting numb souls and proudly creating screams along the way.

From the moment he heard the sound of the plane, Hu Yi's head suddenly hurt, and the surroundings began to become gray and colorless again, and his head was like a turmoil. He stopped and stood on the sleepers between the rails, staring at the approaching plane. It would fly over the heads of the people under the roadbed, so Hu Yi did not follow the crowd to evade in panic, but stood on the high railway roadbed, numbly looking at the absurd gray scenery around him.

In an instant, Hu Yi's eyes froze. In the muddy crowd, a strange yet familiar beautiful figure sat curled up. The messy short hair that reached her neck was once smooth, the beautiful face that was stained with mud was once fair, and the watery black pupils that once cried sadly in front of his eyes, but now released stubbornness and unwillingness, quietly looking in the direction of death. Across the gaps in the running crowd, a constantly flickering picture was formed, which was reflected intermittently in the narrow eyes, and hit Hu Yi's heart again and again. For the first time in his life, Hu Yi found that his heart could become fragile and vulnerable, and with the addition of guilt, it was immediately broken.

Time seemed to stand still, but Hu Yi was awake in the stillness, no longer numb. His aimless heart finally saw the direction. No matter who she is, she is already my woman, whether she is willing or not, she is already my woman. I am not just a deserter, I am also a man.

People say love is a complicated thing, maybe it is, maybe it is not, who knows. In the ill-fated war years, in this cold and numb gray world, in Hu Yi's heart that has been wandering for many years, he thought this was love, at least his numb heart has been broken. Maybe it was because of guilt, maybe it was because of physiological instinct, it doesn't matter, at least Hu Yi has found a reason for himself to live again.