[The second update is here, please subscribe and vote monthly]
Human beings are very strange creatures. They always like to be with people who are more compatible with them.
According to Asuna, she was the kind of girl who would not willingly succumb to someone's feet. The reason why she chose to stay with Wu Lingfeng was because she found in him an existence that matched her own.
People like to bury their secrets in the deepest places, not letting their secrets be seen, not letting their fragility be discovered, not letting the strong appearance they have built be stripped away, they are always disguising themselves, because otherwise Unable to survive.
In the midst of hesitation, what people like most is to cover up or forget this hesitation, and then define a better position for themselves, living hypocritically, there is no way, fragile people need this to allow themselves to have the hope of survival. courage.
When she was trapped in the world of SAO, Asuna was hesitant at first, but in the end she threw away this hesitation and set a goal for herself: "Even if I lose to a monster and die, I don't want to lose to this one." Games and the World”.
In SAO, Asuna thought about quickly conquering the entire world and then escaping, sometimes even forcing others to fight together.
However, when she was reincarnated in this world, she saw a so-called sense of happiness in Wu Lingfeng. The harmonious relationship between Wu Lingfeng and the people around him made her feel that she might be too impatient and struggled with it. In this world, it is better to enjoy this world. This is the philosophical thinking of life. Instead of feeling helpless, it is better to experience this beautiful world happily.
Asuna's heart knot was opened by Wu Lingfeng. So she wanted to retaliate and help Wu Lingfeng open his world.
Although Wu Lingfeng looks very strong on the surface. Whether it is facing various things in the outside world or his attitude towards the people around him, he does a very good job.
But Asuna knew. Wu Lingfeng is hiding the fear, uneasiness, and hesitation in his heart. It is not brought to him by the world, but by himself.
"Stop escaping, otherwise this will become your eternal fear!" Asuna said to Wu Lingfeng.
"Escape from what? I don't understand what you are talking about. It's getting so late. Let's go back. Really, what nonsense are you talking about?" Wu Lingfeng pushed Asuna's body away and walked forward.
"You coward. Cowardly guy, is escaping yourself like this your ideal? A person, no matter how dirty his past is and how glorious his future is, he is always him, and the past and future are him. These are The existence of the world constitutes the human being. You choose to abandon your cowardice and keep your strength. Are you denying yourself?" Asuna said loudly.
Wu Lingfeng immediately turned around angrily and said, "I'm not denying myself, but it's you who speaks like this to the master who summoned you. If you don't want to stay here, just leave. I don't need it!"
"Have you talked about your pain? But if you keep burying this pain in your heart, it will become your eternal fear, even if it is suppressed and not exposed. One day you will be overwhelmed by your own darkness. Devoured." Asuna said seriously.
Wu Ling walked up to Asuna angrily and stared at her with wide eyes. Said: "I tell you, no. I am so outstanding now, the most talented divine bloodline in the entire continent, and there are so many powerful people around me, and there are so many people who love me, how could I..."
"Snapped… "
Asuna immediately slapped Wu Lingfeng, interrupted Wu Lingfeng, and said: "This is just the perfect appearance you are trying to maintain. Your heart is actually fragile. Come on, tell me if you have any pain." Talk and I’ll be a good listener for you.”
Wu Lingfeng sighed heavily and said, "Did you see it?"
Asuna nodded and said: "Well, during the battle you were completely immersed in it and didn't show it, but in the past few days of stability, you have often been in a daze. Maybe others thought you were too tired. Yes, but I don’t think so. Well, maybe I have been in this state before, so I understand you... "
"Isn't it good to keep hiding it? I am living a very free and unrestrained life now..." Wu Lingfeng said in a self-deprecating tone.
"Come, tell me, it's very uncomfortable to be alone. Although I don't understand your past, I am a good listener." Asuna said while sitting on the grass, using her little hands to He patted the place beside him and motioned for Wu Lingfeng to sit down.
"Um… "
Maybe it was because he had been holding back the pain in his heart for too long. Wu Lingfeng also wanted to find someone to talk to, but he never found the right person. No, or maybe he didn't like his embarrassed appearance to be seen by other girls.
"You know? In fact, when I came to this world, I felt faintly excited and happy. I left my family, friends and everything on the earth, and suddenly I felt like I had gained a new life. I felt free and my life became brighter.
My mother has been gone since I was born. My neighbor's aunt said that my mother died due to heavy bleeding during childbirth when I was born... When I can remember, when I see other people's children with their mothers, I feel faintly Pain and loneliness.
Dad loves mom, so he never married another woman, but you know? Every time I face my father, his eyes are still lifeless. He looks at me without any emotion. He works outside at the construction site every day, and then returns home drunk...
I started to be independent when I was five years old. Because I didn’t want to go hungry, I learned to wash dishes and cook by myself... Once I burned my hands while cooking and my father didn’t have any reaction, so I had to go to the hospital for treatment. Haha, at that time I I was still very naive, thinking that it was my fault, and that the hot hand was caused by my failure to do good things.
When I was seven years old, I went to kindergarten. In order to make my father happy, I started to study hard and got the first place in the school. I put the certificate, automatic pen and the two yuan reward in front of my father, but you You know, he took the two dollars and went out to buy wine, but I still thought about the good things. I felt that the father was pleased that his son was capable and bought wine to celebrate...
Then in the first grade, I got the first place in the school. Two papers with a perfect score of 100 in Chinese and mathematics were placed in front of my father. I also received a notice to go to the town to participate in the town's outstanding student examination, but...
But do you know? What did my father do! ! It was used as toilet paper. At that time, my heart suddenly broke. I could no longer be strong, work hard, or smile any more!
When I was in second and third grade, I was still a little restrained. Although my ranking slipped a bit, I was still among the top five in the school. But gradually, the fatherly love I expected did not come. I was sinking and hating this. The world hates myself. Yes, I feel that I killed my mother. I should be hated by my father, and I should also hate myself! !
I caused troubles and fights, skipped classes and surfed the Internet, and even tried to rape a female classmate. Although my final rationality prevented me from taking the last step, the reason why I didn't take the last step was that the girl had a crush on me and she did not resist. , Facing a girl who loves me like this, I can’t bear to torture her...
I am a scumbag and a bastard. I have never had that kind of thought about girls since then. I just fight and skip classes and go online. In the end, the girl who had a crush on me also gave up on me. She liked me since kindergarten. , seeing me with excellent grades, cheerful personality, bravery and strength, I thought I would get better, but, haha, I let her down.
No matter how strong a child is, how can he be strong in the face of a family like mine? I feel that if a car accident suddenly kills me, I will be considered happy, so I am really happy to come into this world...
Just when I chose to forget the past, once, in a dreamy scene, I saw my father's bed in the hospital, and then he was holding a piece of yellowed paper in his hand. A dark red 100 points is exactly the test paper from my elementary school. Does this tell me that my father has been keeping it
At that time, I felt that maybe I was wrong. Maybe my father loved me, but he just couldn't forget my mother's death. So... then my self-destruction was nothing! ! ! !
Although it's just a phantom, I think it might be the truth. After all, what father doesn't like his child
But is it true or false? I'm afraid of going back. If the scene in that phantom is false, I might as well stay in this world, but if it is true, then I will be so happy. Without maternal love, I at least have father's love, although my father did not do anything. It seems like a matter of love, but as long as he doesn't hate me, it's love. If he really keeps that broken 100-point piece of paper in his hand, then it's an extremely profound father's love.
I can't tell, Asuna, tell me, what should I do? Should we go back or choose to live in this world? Should we deny the past or accept the past? "
Asuna was immediately shocked. He, his life experience was so tragic. It was already a miracle that he was alive. If it were him, he might not want to live long ago. Yes, how can we help him judge? Should I go back? A normal person would not want to go back. After all, it is a hell, a hell that devours people.
Wu Lingfeng shook his head and said: "Forget it, let it continue to remain, we will make any judgment. I hope you don't tell other people about today's matter, I don't want them to know my past..."
"Snapped… "
Asuna immediately grabbed Wu Lingfeng's hand and said: "Don't leave..." (To be continued...) RT