The courtyard was quiet, with only the cold night wind blowing everywhere.
"Whoever told you that was just wishful thinking."
Suddenly a voice came from behind. The voice was slightly cold and the tone was restrained and calm. To Alan Yue's ears, it sounded like a sudden thunder in the silent night.
The figure sitting in the wheelchair froze, his eyes slightly widened, his fingers tightly gripping the sides of the wheelchair, his white hands turning slightly white.
A Lanyue knew whose voice it was without turning around. This level of familiarity was so deep in his bones that it could instantly make his disguised strength collapse and break down.
The figure sitting in the moonlight was shrouded in a layer of silver light. It was so unreal and illusory that it seemed like it would disappear in the next moment, like a dream bubble.
Zhao Litang had originally left Weiyang City and headed away from the Northern Territory, but Chengfeng suddenly found him, and Zhao Litang then rode his horse back in a panic.
—On the way, I thought about a lot of things I would say when I saw him, but now that he was really in front of me, the thousands of words in my heart were stuck in my throat, and I couldn't utter a single word.
Especially, after hearing what I just said.
"Why don't you answer?"
Zhao Litang took two steps forward and tried his best to stay calm, but the figure remained straight and silent.
"Where have you been these years? Do you know that I have been looking for you everywhere in the barbarian tribe, but there is no trace of you..." Zhao Litang said as he walked towards the wheelchair.
"...Since that night, you have disappeared from the face of the earth. I don't even know whether you are dead or alive. There are so many people in the Barbarian Tribe, but no one has ever heard of your name..."
"Others may think I'm crazy, but I don't believe you died just like that. You must still be alive. You are hiding from me. You don't want to see me, right?"
Zhao Litang walked to the front of the wheelchair and finally saw with his own eyes the person he had been thinking about day and night, but he lowered his head and his thin shoulders were trembling slightly.
Zhao Litang stretched out his hand and lifted his face up, looking clearly in the moonlight. That fair little face was covered with tear marks, and his eyes were filled with tears. As his long eyelashes trembled, big tears fell down.
A Lanyue turned her head and broke free of the hand. She hurriedly wiped away her tears, looked away, and said, "General, why are you still looking for me? If you want to make up for something, there is no need. Everything I have done is my own will. I don't need any guilt or sympathy. I am fine alone and don't need anyone's pity."
Zhao Litang's hands froze for a long time, then he slowly retracted them and then secretly clenched them.
"Do you think I feel guilty, sympathetic, or compassionate towards you?" His voice turned cold, and all the passion in his heart was extinguished from beginning to end by these few words.
"Do you think I am so tolerant and generous to everyone? Don't forget that you are a barbarian. Do you think I would have any mercy on my enemies?"
A Lanyue pulled the corners of her mouth into a smile. It was exactly what he thought. The general cared so much about his background and his barbarian blood, so how could he have any other feelings for him.
"Isn't it?" A Lanyue said slowly, "In fact, the general doesn't need to feel that he owes me anything. My life was originally saved by the general, so it is only right for me to return it to the general. Now I have only broken a pair of legs and saved my life. No matter how you look at it, I have gained..."
"Shut up!" Zhao Litang leaned down slightly, approached A Lanyue's cheek, pinched his chin and made him look at him.
"When did I ever tell you to pay it back? I'll keep your life for you. Don't try to commit suicide again!"
The figure falling from the city wall that night has been Zhao Litang's unforgettable nightmare over the past few years. Although he did not see it with his own eyes, he could feel how panicked and frightened A Lanyue must have been at that time, as well as how determined and resolute she was.
The sudden close distance made Alan Yue's breathing a little disordered. He stared at the handsome face that was enlarged in front of him, and there was a tenderness that was almost greedy in his eyes, but it was suppressed by a coldness in an instant.
"General, please let me go first. Nineteen was here just now. It would be bad if he saw us..." A Lanyue said softly.
"He has gone back to the house." Zhao Litang had no intention of letting him go.
"… But there are other people living in the courtyard. If they see it, it will sooner or later reach Nineteen's ears. The general likes Nineteen so much, he will definitely not tolerate such gossip."
There were still some bright tears in Alan Yue's eyes, but he forced himself to hold them back and didn't let them fall. After he finished saying this, the pressure on his chin not only didn't loosen, but it tightened even more.
Zhao Litang's eyes darkened a little as he stared at the crescent-shaped mark dotted at the corner of his eye. He endured and suppressed his emotions so much that the corners of his eyes turned slightly red.
"So what if he knows? You don't care about yourself, but you care about others instead."
A Lanyue was silent for a while before saying, "... How can the person the general likes be considered someone else?"
Another tear rolled down her cheek and dripped onto the back of Zhao Litang's hand, burning him so much that his heart suddenly sank.
Once the tears started falling, it was hard to hold them back.
Alan Yue shed tears silently, and said intermittently:
"I know that the general's love has long been given to someone else... It must be annoying for me to keep following you... But fortunately, I know it now. I will never bother the general again. I also know that my leg can't be cured... So, I will leave tomorrow and will never appear in front of you again... I will disappear completely, I..."
The rest of the words were stuck in his throat before he could finish speaking.
A Lan Yue's mouth was half open, which gave someone a chance to sneak in and seal his lips and tongue, preventing him from saying anything about leaving.
Zhao Litang closed his eyes and kissed him with all his heart. The longing and desire that had been growing wildly in his body seemed to have finally found a breakthrough, like opening a floodgate and unable to calm down.
After a long time, Zhao Litang let him go.
Alan Yue's originally pale lips now turned bright red and shone with excitement. His heart was still beating wildly and his head was buzzing randomly. A kiss disturbed his thoughts and he blurted out the words he had not finished saying just now.
"… Our engagement is no longer valid, but before I leave, the general will write me a letter of divorce…"
Zhao Litang's hand was originally gently massaging the back of his neck, but when he heard these cold words, a surge of rage burned up from his lungs.
We have gone to church, got married, and done everything we should and shouldn't have done years ago.
Now, I had just found him with great difficulty, and the joy and happiness had not yet worn off, but he actually began to anxiously ask me for a divorce letter, wanting to draw a clear line between us.
What about all the previous entanglements, what about these four years of arduous searching, what about this heart that carries the pain and holds the hope, longing to see him again
"You are the one who wants to get married, and you are the one who wants to get divorced. I tell you, don't even think about it!"
Zhao Litang said this with gritted teeth, then he picked up the person in the wheelchair and strode towards a house.
A Lanyue couldn't break free, and was pinned down while the world was spinning around him. Then a pair of hands roughly began to untie his clothes, which reminded him of some unpleasant memories from his time in the barbarian army camp. He resisted and pushed away in fear, but his hands were put together and pressed on top of his head.
Although Alan Yue's legs were powerless, he could still feel a knee pushing his legs apart, and no matter how he twisted his waist, he had no way of getting rid of it.
"Let me go... please let me go... please... don't... do this..."
A Lanyue was crying so hard that he could hardly breathe. In the past, he would never resist no matter how much pain he was in. Therefore, he didn't know that resistance would only make the other party even more passionate and crazy.
"Don't you want a divorce certificate? As long as I haven't given it to you, we are still husband and wife..." Zhao Litang's eyes were red with fever. He controlled him with one hand and stripped off his clothes with the other hand. Soon, he stripped the man under him like a naked boiled egg.
“… Now, let’s fulfill our duties as husband and wife.”
A Lan Yue cried until her voice became hoarse and she had no strength left to struggle. Knowing she could not escape, she stopped resisting and just lay there quietly, crying silently and trembling uncontrollably.
Noticing that the person beneath him had stopped moving, Zhao Litang slowly regained his sanity. The rage that was about to burn him through subsided, and then his body suddenly
—Frozen, he saw the person under him biting his lips tightly and refusing to make a sound.
Zhao Litang pulled the quilt over in a panic and wrapped the person under him tightly. He reached out with trembling fingers and carefully wiped away A Lanyue's tears.
He was overwhelmed with joy and also dizzy with anger.
The first time he saw Alan Yue, he wanted to get close to him, to kiss him and hug him, to sleep with him, to kiss away his tears, to tell him that he was not allowed to leave him again, to tell him about his longing for him over the years, to express his feelings...
But I never thought of forcing him like this.
But after hearing Alan Yue's cold words, Zhao Litang felt overwhelmed by the fear that he might lose him again at any time.
That's why I was scared, that's why I was panicked, and that's why I hurt him again.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… Please don’t cry…” Zhao Litang hugged the person in the quilt tightly, burying his face deeply between his shoulders and neck. His breath was full of his scent, and then his eyes gradually became moist.
"I won't touch you... If you don't like me, I won't touch you..." he said sullenly.
"So... don't leave... okay... don't leave me again..."
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Little darlings can join the group and play together. See the pinned book review for the group number.