After a few days of Lin Ziran leisurely, Jiang Xuan finally stopped calling him, and he didn't know if he gave up or planned something else.
Ning Bo sent a message every day, but Lin Ziran never replied.
Does he really have such a good temper
Lin Ziran came back from eating out again that day. As soon as he parked the car and got off, he saw Jiang Xuan who was waiting outside.
The man leaned beside a black off-road vehicle and seemed to have waited for a long time. When he saw him coming back, he raised his head with a stern face and deep eyes.
Lin Ziran was stunned for a moment, and then quickly realized that Jiang Xuan was very powerful in the city, and he was not low-key, so it was normal for him to find him.
However, I had a fight with Jiang Xuan last time, and I had already let go of myself, so I didn't bother to pay attention to Jiang Xuan.
Lin Ziran didn't even look at him, and walked directly past Jiang Xuan.
Jiang Xuan looked helpless, he strode over, grabbed Lin Ziran's wrist, looked sincere in his black eyes, and said worriedly, "I heard about your family, are you okay?"
Lin Ziran turned back and looked at him thoughtfully.
He suspected that Jiang Xuan was responsible for this, but there was no evidence. Looking at Jiang Xuan's worried expression at the moment, if he really did this, then he was really a deep-seated person.
Jiang Xuan's plan should be to expose Ning Bai's life experience → Lu Xiaodong is shocked and sad → Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan admit his relatives → Lu Xiaodong is left out → Ning Bai returns to Lu's house → Lu Xiaodong is sad and desperate → Lu Xiaodong begins Resentment of Ning Bai → Lu Xiaodong ran away from home → Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan were indifferent → Lu Xiaodong fell into the dust → Jiang Xuan made his debut → took care of the poor little one who was loved and loved by no one → Lu Xiaodong found that only Jiang Xuan was good in the world →Lu Xiaodong throws his arms in his arms →Jiang Xuan successfully raises Little Pitiful in captivity.
Plan pass!
It's almost as if he thought of everything, Lu Xiaodong has been with Jiang Xuan for so long, he can't know anything about Lu Xiaodong's situation, so Ning Bai's life experience is his killer! If it is the real Lu Xiaodong, in such a desperate and painful situation, maybe he will really catch Jiang Xuan like a life-saving straw
Because when a person loses everything, even a little kindness and pity are hard to resist.
At this time, Jiang Xuan's previous mistakes don't matter anymore, it doesn't matter anymore, because Lu Xiaodong has given up on himself, he needs someone who can love him and protect him, even if Jiang Xuan doesn't really love him that much, but Jiang Xuan I'm sure I love him so much! In this world with nowhere to stay, Lu Xiaodong can only find the last warmth in Jiang Xuan... and then completely become a plaything controlled by Jiang Xuan.
In order to coax and persuade him, and to resolve the resentment and pain in his heart, Jiang Xuan can backhand the useless Lu Maofeng family to get rid of...
Jiang Xuan has countless ways to make Lu Xiaodong inseparable from him, unable to escape from his palm.
Lin Ziran almost shuddered. He felt that this person was a bit scary. At this moment, he finally realized that he was the ruthless tyrant in the script. Deceived!
Even if he took 10,000 steps back, Jiang Xuan didn't bring this up, and he wasn't interested in entanglement with Jiang Xuan.
Lin Ziran raised his lips and said lightly, "You don't have to worry about my affairs."
Jiang Xuan seemed a little sad, and he said hoarsely, "I know you are blaming me for what happened before. I did something wrong that time... But I am really worried about you."
Lin Ziran said, "Oh."
Jiang Xuan said again, "Don't you believe I like you?"
Lin Ziran smiled, "Like me? Do you think I would believe it?"
For him, Jiang Xuan is nothing more than possessiveness, so he would do such a thing, or maybe he likes it a little... But so what? I don't like him myself.
Jiang Xuan looked at Lin Ziran's indifferent gaze, and there was no more admiration and admiration in it, and he would no longer laugh at him to please him.
It's still the same person, but it seems to be far away.
Like it
At first, he thought it was not liking, but just possessiveness. Because he suddenly felt a little interested, he just wanted to play, and he was reluctant to give him to others like this. People like Lu Xiaodong should be played by him. Greeting him with a smile, he doesn't like being disobedient and rejecting him.
But later he found out that he was wrong. This child also had a very stubborn side. He looked flattering and lowly, but he was actually very hard.
If he says he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you anymore.
no longer please you.
stop chasing you.
Jiang Xuan has never lacked people around him. No matter men or women, there are countless others who look better than Lu Xiaodong. He even thought about whether to let it go, because competing with such a thing as Lu Xiaodong made himself a joke. But why can't I let go in the end
In order to get this person, he did not hesitate to take a shot at Ning Bai and expose Ning Bai's life experience.
The agency is exhausted.
He doesn't know why he is obsessed with such a child, and he doesn't know what kind of feeling this is... But as long as he thinks that he will leave completely, never appear by his side again, and drift away, he suddenly can't tolerate such a result.
Since he doesn't want to let go, he will do anything to get him.
This is Jiang Xuan's code of conduct.
Jiang Xuan lowered his eyes to look at Lin Ziran, his eyes were deep and helpless, he sighed slowly, "How about you believe that I like you?"
Lin Ziran also looked at him. It was rare for Jiang Xuan to be so humble in order to deceive himself, but unfortunately he made a mistake.
I never care if he likes it or not.
Since he doesn't care, naturally there is no belief or not, because even if he really likes it, does he have a dime relationship with him
Lin Ziran laughed, and he looked at Jiang Xuan, "You made a mistake in one thing."
Jiang Xuan said, "What's the matter?"
Lin Ziran raised his eyebrows, "It doesn't matter if I believe you like me, the important thing is that I don't like you, and I don't want you to disturb me again."
After saying that, Lin Ziran turned around and left.
Jiang Xuan said behind him, "Do you hate Lu Maofeng?"
Lin Ziran stopped abruptly and looked back at him.
Jiang Xuan's black eyes were full of deep and dark colors, and he spoke as if nothing had happened, his voice was low and hoarse with a hint of temptation, "If you hate him, I can make him kneel down and beg you. Everything you want... I can give it to you. you."
Lin Ziran looked at him, thinking, I really let Lao Tzu guess it.
This proposal is really exciting, but although he doesn't like Lu Maofeng's scumbag, it's not worth it to sell himself to Jiang Xuan for this matter.
Not to mention it's just a game...
Lin Ziran said word by word, "All of your things are not what I want."
Only the former Lu Xiaodong is rare.
Jiang Xuan looked at the boy's extremely indifferent eyes, listened to his calm words, his expression froze slightly, he thought now was the boy's most vulnerable time, he thought he needed his own help, he thought he would hate him, he would treat him Taking the opportunity to be included under his own wings, but the result is not like this...
The boy was stronger than he thought, or maybe he had learned how to hide his pain.
Even if he fell into the dust, he would not beg for pity with his tail again.
I won't fall down crying...
Don't get carried away by hatred and jealousy...
The blow instead gave him a new lease of life, he began to know how to let go, and radiated an unprecedented dazzling light...
Jiang Xuan's heart slowly fell, and he felt that his plan might have gone wrong, and it did not develop as he expected.
This method may be able to make the boy leave Ning Bai, but it cannot make him approach him.
Because once he no longer cares about Lu Maofeng, has no love or hate, he has no reason to continue relying on himself.
Seeing the boy go further and further, Jiang Xuan quickly stepped forward and grabbed the boy's wrist again.
Lin Ziran shook it, but failed to shake Jiang Xuan's hand away, and said coldly, "Mr. Jiang is also a person with a head and face. I don't want to make trouble here, right?"
Jiang Xuan looked at the boy's face, his black eyes were burning with anger, like a burning flame, he looked at himself neither humble nor arrogant... Jiang Xuan's heart suddenly beat hard.
He seemed to understand something.
Maybe this is the real side of the boy.
In the past, flattery and flattery, deliberate rebellion, and deliberate depravity... are all his disguise, the protective color he put on himself. He wanted to get Lu Maofeng's affirmation and his own attention, and he worked so hard to get it. Existence, but no one cares about him...
Until one day, when he finally found that no matter what he did, he couldn't get what he wanted, he gave up to become what he hated and stopped trying to please anyone.
But he is more charming than ever before.
It's just that all of this was once covered up by his depraved appearance, so that no one in the crowd has ever noticed his goodness and persistence.
Lin Ziran felt that Jiang Xuan's eyes were a little disturbing, and frowned, "Please let go."
Jiang Xuan's eyes fell on the boy's face, the boy's eyes were on fire, and the soft lips opened and closed, but it was like an invitation to himself... He suddenly stepped forward and directly pressed Lin Ziran against the car door. , squeezed his chin, bowed his head and kissed him.
Lin Ziran's tears were about to come out from being kissed, he was about to be blown away by this bastard who was kissing forcefully at every turn!
Lin Ziran, if I hadn't been able to beat him, I'd let him kneel down and call him Dad today!
system…
Lin Ziran, this bastard will only bully the soft and fear the hard, do you think he dares to treat Ning Bo like this)
system…
Lin Ziran couldn't help but think of the original plot. In the original plot, although Jiang Xuan and Ning Bo were on and off, and their love was very bloody, but there was no element of forced love at all, and they respected Ning Bo from beginning to end. All of his ruthlessness is reflected in dealing with cannon fodder and enemies. When pursuing Ning Bai, it is not like this. On the contrary, he is very humble and polite.
How can you do this? you broke, you know? !
Wait... Lin Ziran's expression suddenly froze, Jiang Xuan didn't actually collapse, he has been thoroughly implementing it!
Respect Ning Bai, don't despise opponents like Ning Bai, but in the face of cannon fodder like Lu Xiaodong, he is ruthless and does everything he can. Isn't that what he does now? From the previous ktv incident and this life experience incident, he has always been like this!
Although the pursuer has changed from Ning Bai to himself, his attitude towards Ning Bai and himself is essentially the same as the original plot.
There is no comparison and no harm, and I am even more angry when I think about it this way.
Is it really just watching people eat, think he is easier to bully? !
After all, Jiang Xuan has never understood how to treat Lu Xiaodong equally. In his eyes, Lu Xiaodong is a fool who is easy to bully and easy to deceive.
Taking advantage of the gap between ventilation, Lin Ziran shoved Jiang Xuan away, and punched Jiang Xuan in the face!
Jiang Xuan turned his head to the side when he was beaten, and seemed very surprised that Lin Ziran would make a move, and his dark eyes looked at him.
Lin Ziran was cool after the fight, but when he saw Jiang Xuan's appearance, he was a little cowardly. He was afraid that this guy would suddenly burst into flames. If he couldn't hold back for a while and wanted to play prison stalks, wouldn't he have to find a way to quit now... Although A little panic, but he still showed an angry look, pretending not to be afraid at all!
Jiang Xuan looked at Lin Ziran deeply, just when Lin Ziran was very uneasy, he suddenly whispered, "It's okay."
Lin Ziran "?"
Jiang Xuan looked at the boy who was obviously a little scared, but pretended to be strong and unyielding, his eyes were gentle and doting, "Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you."
Lin Ziran "… "
There were not many people in the parking lot, and Lin Ziran didn't dare to stay here any longer. He looked at Jiang Xuan coldly and spit out the word "Go away."
Then speed up and leave.
Jiang Xuan didn't stop him this time, he just looked at the boy's back, which was getting farther and farther away, his eyes darkened.
Maybe this time, it's my miscalculation...
But I won't let go easily.
…
Ning Bai didn't get off work until 11 p.m., but instead of going home, he drove under a hotel and looked up at the scattered lights above.
He had already found out where Lin Ziran lived, and he would come here every night to take a look.
But never went up.
Because he didn't know how to deal with this person.
To beg his forgiveness, to say I love him, to say I have no intention of taking anything from you? Or simply lie to him that your parents actually love you
It's all too pale.
Because only by personal experience can we understand the pain that goes deep into the bone marrow...
Language cannot smooth out wounds.
For the boy, his own existence is the greatest harm to him. He makes his existence meaningless, making him look like a joke... Although he escaped from that house, did his heart escape from there?
Even he has paid such a big price, not to mention this not-so-smart child
Is he sad now
But what he needs is by no means his own comfort.
A self-deprecating smile appeared on Ning Bai's lips, suppressing the astringency in his eyes.
…
Xue Ze didn't dare to come and shake in front of Ning Bai recently. He walked around Ning Bai when he met him. It was a mess. He was afraid of such trouble, but he had to come today.
Xue Ze pushed open the door and said cautiously, "Well, your mother is here again, oh, the mother of your own..."
Ning Bo didn't lift his eyes, "I don't see it."
Xue Ze is going crazy, is it easy for him? Every day I have to help Ning Bo drive his mother out! He felt his hands stained with sinful blood! He can't stand it anymore!
Xue Ze was about to cry, "Why don't you go and tell her clearly, my aunt comes and waits every day, and now many people ask me what's going on, I can't hide it anymore, you don't want others to mention that you are that indifferent in the future. A ruthless bastard who doesn't even care about his own mother, right? Of course I know you don't care about fame or anything, but why don't you go to someone else to kill her next time..."
Seeing that Ning Bo was still indifferent, Xue Ze said in a long-winded manner, "Please go and have a look. She looks like she won't give up when she doesn't see you. You can't solve the problem by avoiding you like this!"
Ning Bai's hand holding the pen paused.
After a long time, he stood up and said, "Okay, I'll go see her."
Feng Wan recently came to Ning Bai's company every day to wait. She didn't dare to break in directly, for fear of making Ning Bai even more angry, so she thought that with her patience, one day she might impress Ning Bai and make him willing to Come out and meet your...
People came and went, and occasionally someone looked at her curiously, but she didn't care.
She just wanted to see Ning Bai.
Suddenly, a person appeared in front of her.
Feng Wan raised his head and saw Ning Bai's face, showing a look of surprise, "Xiao Bai, you are finally willing to see me."
Ning Bai looked at the woman deeply, the corners of his lips were indifferent, you are still the same as before, always doing what you want to do, never knowing when you should let go, you must let go decisively, otherwise it will just be for each other. Just cause damage.
Over and over again, you are obsessed with someone who is not worth your sacrifice and continued love.
But turn a blind eye to the people you should care about.
There was ridicule in his eyes, but his tone was light, "It's not convenient to talk here, why don't you go to your house and talk."
Feng Wan suddenly stood up and said incoherently, "Are you willing to go home with your mother?"
Ning Bai didn't deny it, he just turned around and walked out.
Feng Wan had been talking to him all the way, but Ning Bo didn't reply a word. He just thought absentmindedly about what the boy's place would be like. He suddenly wanted to see it with his own eyes...
Over the past 20 years, the Lu family has moved to this city several times, and naturally it is not the home in Ning Bai's impression.
Ning Bai didn't want to go back to the home where this woman was, but this was Lu Xiaodong's home.
He suddenly wanted to take a look.
Feng Wan didn't know anything, so he enthusiastically led him upstairs, and said as he walked, "I have already packed a room for you, you can see if there is anything you need to add, my dad and I will go buy it for you, From now on, our family will be together in harmony…”
Ning Bai said, "Which room is Lu Xiaodong's?"
Feng Wan was reluctant to mention Lu Xiaodong in front of Ning Bai, she probably felt that she had another son, it was like a betrayal to Ning Bai, she said silently, "At that time, your father felt sorry for me and insisted on bringing a child back. Keeping... this room is his... "
Ning Bai walked into the room.
This room is simple and clean. Although there is a little childishness, it does not appear dirty and messy, which is somewhat unexpected.
He turned to Feng Wan and said, "I want to be alone for a while."
Feng Wan didn't want to leave, but when she met Ning Bo's indifferent eyes, her throat suddenly froze, so she nodded and left.
Ning Bai's fingers swept across the desk lightly. The books on the desk were neatly arranged, but because no one lived there, a light layer of ash fell on the desk. There was a group photo of the family on the desk. In the photo, the boy The smile is bright, the men and women behind him are gentle, and they look like a beautiful family, but maybe this is just a deliberately created illusion, and a photo can't represent anything...
The sheets were simple gray plaids, and the walls were white without too much embellishment. This room was completely different from the first impression Lu Xiaodong gave him.
At that time, Lu Xiaodong, who appeared in front of him, had dyed gray hair, studded earrings and painted smoky makeup. His demeanor was frivolous and wanton, like a street scoundrel, but this room was just an ordinary college student. s room.
Looking at this, it seems that I can see what the boy really looks like when he is at home...
Those past violations seem to have all explanations.
Rebellion is the protective color he uses to disguise, but only in his own small space is he himself.
So when he doesn't dress like that, he will give people a clean and fresh feeling, even if he is a little cunning and vicious, he will confront him and provoke him, but it will also make people hate it, because he is not like that in nature... Deliberately To act like he wants to be hated is to deceive himself.
Ning Bai glanced at the bedside table, and suddenly saw a gap in the drawer, probably because he was in a hurry and didn't close it properly.
He walked over subconsciously, opened it, and found a book with a black cover.
Ning Bai took out the book.
Then he smiled bitterly, does this child still have the habit of writing a diary? It's more sensitive than he thought...
This is a very important thing. Ning Bai didn't intend to read it at first, but he hesitated for a moment while holding the notebook. He wanted to understand the boy's thoughts, and finally got the upper hand.
There was a hint of struggle in Ning Bai's eyes, but he still opened the book.
"My mother asked me to learn piano. Actually, I don't like it very much, but if I can make my mother happy, I will study hard."
"I learned a new piece today, and I wanted to play it for my mother, but she was very unhappy after listening to it, saying that I didn't play well, it was useless... But the teacher still praised me for playing well, why didn't my mother like it? …”
"I didn't perform well in the exam today. It was worse than the last time. I know I'm going to disappoint my parents again."
"It's probably that I'm not smart enough or competent enough, so I can't do anything well, and I can't achieve their wishes..."
"Do they really love me?"
"Sometimes, I think it's good that they can scold me, but they always look at me disappointed. Sometimes I don't know if I let them down or if they never had hope for me."
"I dyed my hair and had my ears pierced. They finally got angry and scolded me. It turns out that if I make a mistake, they will be angry too. At least they didn't ignore me today."
The look in Ning Bai's eyes became more and more painful, he could hardly bear to see it, but he still turned down.
"I kind of don't want to work hard anymore, because hard work is never useless, because I was born useless."
"Everyone is born with a meaning of their own existence, but what is my meaning?"
"I started spending money, hanging out, I finally had a lot of friends, they would flatter me, we would do shit together, I didn't really like that, but I seemed to find a little sense of presence, and when I was with them, I felt I am important."
"But they're nice to me, is it because I'm rich?"
"I know no one will love me, no one will like me, who would like someone like me, no use stupid and annoying."
"But I don't care, because I already knew that."
"It's okay to be hated... I really don't care at all."
"A useless person like me would never have been liked in the first place."
"I don't need anyone to love me."
Ning Bai finally couldn't stand it any longer, and his fingers holding the book turned white and trembled slightly.
He closed his eyes in pain.
The nightmares that he had deliberately forgotten swept in again, he swore that he would never be dominated by those nightmares again, he had become strong enough, he let go of the woman's hand and walked into the crowd, he thought all this has passed.
But not.
Even if I had expected and guessed, but when I saw this diary with my own eyes, I realized that the reality is always more cruel.
Only then did I know how you came here in the past twenty years.
I am sorry…
I know now that all your sufferings are related to me.
In a trance, he seemed to have returned to that silent and gloomy world.
This time he wasn't alone.
There is a little child, he is ignorant, ignorant, standing there blankly, he does not know why he exists, and he does not know why he is there, he just looks at the men and women in front of him.
He tried hard to be loved by the so-called parents, exhausted his little power, and wanted to do better, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not be recognized, because in the eyes of men and women, he would always be better than yourself.
Always, what is lost is the best.
And he's just an unpopular substitute.
But the boy didn't know.
He thought it was just that he was not good enough, that he was just not good enough, and he began to hate himself, and finally turned into what he hated.
He was used to the disappointed eyes of men and women, and the indifference of men and women.
He does everything he can to get attention...
But it always fails in the end.
Every time I fell and got up, it would only fall harder and worse.
Then he finally gave up.
He thinks it's all his fault, he's useless, he doesn't care about being hated...
No need to be loved.
Because he doesn't deserve to be loved.
He gradually accepted this fact.
In fact, it wasn't like this. Ning Bai slowly opened his eyes, a hint of bitterness appeared in his eyes, and his fingers brushed the diary.
not like this.
You're fine, you're a great kid... it's not your fault.
What is wrong is someone who doesn't know how to love you.
them.
And I.