Ning Bai looked at the boy in pain, the boy seemed a little lost.
Ning Bai took a deep breath, he took a step forward, gently hugged the boy in his arms, and said hoarsely, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault..."
He had no excuse.
He shouldn't be watching.
Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, then pushed him away suddenly and gave him a hateful look!
Go back to the room and slam the door!
Lin Ziran leaned against the door, his eyes changed, he let out a sigh of relief, thinking about it carefully, after reading the diary, Ning Bai was worried that Lu Xiaodong couldn't think about it. After Bai failed, he was sent abroad with a broken leg, abandoned by his beloved parents, and perhaps it was because of the despair of losing everything that he died after contracting a drug addiction.
Lu Xiaodong may have really committed suicide.
Ning Bai is so smart, he must have felt uneasy when he saw the diary, so he stayed with him every step of the way. This also explains why he didn't come before, but came later.
Ning Bo's anomaly can basically be explained.
Just such a shameful thing...
Even if he is not the real Lu Xiaodong, being read in the diary is a little weird...
Lin Ziran's expression was a little embarrassed.
Then he sighed.
When Lin Ziran said that, I suddenly remembered something. Your game design is very meticulous. The handwriting on this book is the same as mine. The first world is also, all the places where Lu Zhen's handwriting is used are his handwriting, otherwise his signature will be revealed when he plays the president.
The system is proud that all the relevant text props for the player to play the role are generated by extracting the player's own handwriting, and we are committed to providing the player with the most realistic gaming experience.
Lin Ziran was indeed very thoughtful.
…
At night, Ning Bai came to knock on the door and said cautiously, "Xiaodong, come out to eat."
Lin Ziran wouldn't have a hard time with the meal, so he pushed open the door and walked out.
Ning Bo looked a little nervous, lest it would irritate Lin Ziran, he didn't say a word during the meal.
Lin Ziran poked at the dishes in the bowl. In fact, at this stage, he doesn't hate Ning Bo very much. After all, Ning Bo was just playing tricks on himself at the beginning, and he delivered it to the door voluntarily. Now he has doubled his revenge. …
It's even.
He looked up at Ning Bo, Ning Bo's expression was silent, and there were two Band-Aids on his forehead... Lin Ziran was really embarrassed to lose his temper at him again.
He's just pretending, who knows that this guy won't hide!
Ning Bai didn't have to be so kind to himself, he probably had a little conscience at his fault, which was not the same as his scum father and scum mother.
After all, he was not the culprit of Lu Xiaodong's tragedy.
In the original plot, he was even a victim.
I didn't need him to compensate me.
I must say what he did wrong... Maybe when he said he liked him and chased him, he played him ruthlessly? Also slept with yourself three times
cough cough cough.
But anyway, looking at people's diaries is so maddening!
Lin Ziran lowered his head to eat.
Ning Bai raised his eyes slightly and glanced at the boy in front of him, his thin lips pursed tightly, and he was very regretful. He finally managed to make the boy feel more cheerful and stop thinking about the past, but because of his own carelessness, he fell short. .
It's all his fault...
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
Ning Bai got up and walked over to open the door. When he saw Lu Maofeng at the door, his expression changed slightly, and he said in a low voice, "What are you doing here?"
Looking at Ning Bai's cold and unwelcoming expression, Lu Maofeng looked a little nervous. For some reason, he was a little afraid of this son, and Ning Bai would drive him away. He quickly said, "I'm here to find Xiaodong."
Ning Bai looked even colder, "He's not here."
Said to close the door.
At this time, Lin Ziran heard the sound and walked over, and said lightly, "Who asked you to make decisions for me?"
Ning Bai's face turned pale.
Lu Maofeng finally saw Lin Ziran, he rubbed his hands together, his chubby face showed a pleasing look, and said, "Xiaodong, your mother is ill and wants to see you."
Lin Ziran raised his eyebrows, no, what kind of bloody plot is this? I'm afraid it's not a lie! Even if Feng Wan is really ill, it is impossible for him to want to see himself.
All she wanted to see was Ning Bai.
Lu Maofeng saw Lin Ziran's suspicion and said sincerely, "It's true, she really wants to see you, you... I know you blame us, but after all, it's a relationship for so many years, you go and see her. ?"
Ning Bo said coldly, "I'll just go." He wanted to see what tricks Feng Wan had.
Lu Maofeng was very embarrassed, "But what she wants to see is Xiaodong, but if you don't worry about Ning Bai, you can come together..."
Lin Ziran pondered for a moment, then suddenly raised the corner of his mouth and smiled, "I'll go."
System, would you like to see her
Of course Lin Ziran, now the winner is me, she may be asking for mercy, why should I dare to see her
system…
Lin Ziran today is the day when my Lu Xiaodong raised his eyebrows!
Lu Maofeng was very happy when he heard that Lin Ziran was willing to go, and said repeatedly, "Dad knows that you are a kind child."
Lin Ziran gave him a sneer in return.
Ning Bai felt a little uneasy in his heart. He wanted to stop it, but it was the boy's decision. He couldn't take his place, or maybe he was still thinking about Feng Wan...
He was silent for a moment and said, "I'll go with you."
…
The three came to the hospital.
Feng Wan is really sick and hospitalized. She has not been in good health these years, and she has some neurasthenia. She accidentally fell while cooking a few days ago. Lin Ziran has not seen her for a few days. She looks thinner than before. …
As soon as Feng Wan saw Lin Ziran coming, his expression became a little excited, he stretched out his thin hand to grab his hand, and said hoarsely, "I'm sorry, my mother was dizzy before, it's all my mother's fault, those are just angry words. Don't take it to heart... In fact, your mother cares about you, you are your mother's good child, no matter what you do, your mother will not blame you... "
Lin Ziran looked at her mockingly.
Feng Wan's voice was intermittent and her eyes were pleading. In the past, she looked at him with only indifference, ignorance, boredom, and impatience... This is the first time she has been so humble to beg someone she didn't care about, Feng Wan choked and said, "Xiao Dong... For the sake of these 20 years, will you go home with your mother? My mother will treat you well... "
Feng Wan paused, a glint of hope flashed in his eyes, and he said cautiously and nervously, "Also, you, it doesn't matter who you want to be with, it doesn't matter even Ning Bai, mother won't be blamed for this. Yours, you're all mother's good children..."
When Lin Ziran heard this, why didn't he understand Feng Wan's thoughts? She was submissive to herself.
In order to make Ning Bai willing to go home, he pretended to love him very much, and even no longer opposed her being with Ning Bai. It stands to reason that Feng Wan bowed his head and begged him, which should be very happy, but he found that it was nothing more than that. Bar…
Because even if she compromised and conceded defeat, it was still for Ning Bai after all.
Not for Lu Xiaodong.
Lin Ziran suddenly wasn't very angry anymore. In fact, this woman was also very sad, wasn't she? Even if she hurt others, she has never been happy. Harming others and hurting herself has no good results. It's a pity... Lu Xiaodong has no right to choose.
Lin Ziran lowered his head, with a smile in his eyes but not a smile, and approached her and said to her, "Who said that it's rare for you to forgive me?"
Lu Xiaodong never needed Feng Wan's forgiveness.
Feng Wan's face was pale, and she trembled slightly with anger. She didn't seem to believe that this was what the child said. She had clearly put down her body. Why was he still unwilling to come back? Doesn't he care about her words the most
Lin Ziran looked at her disappointedly, this woman would never understand where she was wrong.
He turned away.
Ning Bo immediately followed them out. When they came outside, Ning Bo grabbed Lin Ziran's wrist with worry in his eyes, and said, "I said you don't need to come here..."
Feng Wan's intention is so obvious.
Lin Ziran must have seen it too.
Lin Ziran looked at his worried eyes, shrugged, and said with a free and easy smile, "I'm fine."
He looked indifferent and calm.
Originally it was none of his business, and the reason why he came here today was just to give Lu Xiaodong an explanation.
Ning Bo looked into Lin Ziran's eyes. At this moment, he felt that the boy had really let go and really didn't care, but he was afraid that he had seen it wrong...
Lin Ziran suddenly looked at Ning Bo curiously and said, "Why don't you want to go home?"
He thought about the other things, but this was something he couldn't figure out all the time. Although Feng Wan was not very fond of Lu Xiaodong, there was no doubt about her love for Ning Bai.
But Ning Bai was willing to hurt her for himself.
Ning Bo saw Lin Ziran's doubts, his lips moved slightly, some things could not be explained in a few words, and he didn't want the boy to worry, he said seriously and slowly, "I said, it has nothing to do with you if I don't go back, you just need to know this. That's it."
When Lin Ziran saw it, this guy didn't want to say it, so he wouldn't force it.
After all, who doesn't have a secret
…
For the sake of Ning Bai's sincere attitude, Lin Ziran didn't bother to toss him anymore, and besides, what was he tossing about when he had to leave
He's not that boring.
And dismantling the house is tiring...
After dinner that day, Ning Bai looked at Lin Ziran tenderly and said, "You are about to start school soon. How about I rent you a house near the school? This way, it will be more convenient for you to go to school."
Lin Ziran was absent-minded, "Whatever."
Ning Bai said again, "At that time, I will add some more clothes. It's fine if you don't take the clothes from before. What do you like? I'll accompany you to buy them, okay...
By the way, and if you don't like the car, how about I buy you a new one? "
Lin Ziran "… "
He saw that Ning Bai was thinking so seriously about his own affairs after school started, and he thought about all the basics, food, housing, and transportation. He was suddenly a little embarrassed to tell him the truth. He couldn't tell Ning Bai that he didn't plan to go to school at all, right
At this time, Xue Ze came over.
Lin Ziran breathed a sigh of relief.
Xue Ze looked at Ning Bo and Lin Ziran, and said with a smile, "Oh, you two are so sweet, Xiaodong, don't worry, Ning Bo is different from me, he is devoted and will never betray you!"
Ning Bai said solemnly, "Don't talk nonsense, I don't have that kind of relationship with him."
Lin Ziran kept a straight face and said nothing.
Xue Ze immediately pulled on his mouth, indicating that he would not talk nonsense any more, but he couldn't stop glancing at the two of them.
After the three of them had dinner together in the evening, Xue Ze said aggrievedly to Ning Bai, "You can always come back to work now, right? You can't leave everything to me anymore!"
Ning Bo hesitated for a moment.
Lin Ziran immediately said, "Go to work, I'm fine."
Although Ning Bo was a little worried, he saw that Lin Ziran was really okay, and he had been following him, maybe even annoyed him. After thinking for a while, he nodded and said, "Okay, I'll go back tomorrow."
…
The next day, when Lin Ziran got up, Ning Bai had already gone out, and he was the only one in the house that was rarely empty.
He yawned and found that Ning Bai had already made breakfast for him, just warm it up in the microwave. There was also a note on the refrigerator in Ning Bai's neat and powerful font. Wait for me to come back to cook in the evening, don't order takeout .
Lin Ziran rubbed his eyes and ate his meal without washing his face.
He played games at home until five o'clock in the afternoon.
It suddenly rained heavily outside.
The raindrops hit the window with a crackling sound, Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, opened the drawer of the study, found the Lamborghini key that he disliked and went out.
Lin Ziran drove aimlessly.
It was raining heavily, and even though the wipers were wiping fast, the vision in front was still a little blurry, and the whole world looked gray.
What are you going to do
Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, I can't really wait until school starts...
System... This player is absolutely dead in order not to attend class.
Seeing the car on a bridge.
Lin Ziran stepped on the accelerator, suddenly the steering wheel turned, the car directly broke through the guardrail and fell off the bridge.
At this time, the phone just lit up, and Lin Ziran looked down. It was the text message from Ning Bai that was stuck in traffic, so I'll be back a little later.
…
Ning Bai hadn't returned to the office for a long time, and his work was delayed for a while. He sent a text message to Lin Ziran, and then continued to drive. When he got home, it was already 6:30, but to his surprise, the lights in the house were dim. , and there was no sound at all.
Ning Bai opened every room and did not see Lu Xiaodong's shadow. Then he started to call Lu Xiaodong, but the phone was always turned off and could not get through... Ning Bai's uneasiness in his heart couldn't help but expand, He scrutinized every corner of the home and found that the car keys were missing from the drawer.
Lu Xiaodong didn't like to help him buy this car back, so he never touched it. Why did he suddenly think of driving it today
Ning Bai immediately called his friend and asked the traffic police to help track the whereabouts of the Lamborghini, and then waited anxiously.
He waited more than an hour for a quick response, but his friend hesitated to speak.
Ning Bai's expression changed suddenly, and he said sharply, "What the hell is going on!"
The friend said, "I'll send you an address, come here now."
Ning Bai rushed out without using his umbrella. He drove out like a madman. He didn't even care if he ran a red light. He quickly came to the bridge that broke through the guardrail, and the river was rolling under the bridge. , all around have been surrounded, and there are several police cars parked next to them...
Ning Bai walked forward, walking to the smashed gap. He looked at the turbid river under the bridge, but he couldn't see clearly. He couldn't see what was inside... So he wanted to get closer. Take a look, but suddenly someone is holding you back!
The policeman said, "What are you doing? You can't go there, it's dangerous over there!"
Ning Bai's Adam's apple rolled, and his voice was astringent, as if word by word were squeezed out of his chest, he said, "Where's the person?"
"The search and rescue team is already salvaging it," the police said.
Then Ning Bai stopped talking, he just stood there waiting, letting the rain fall on his face, motionless, and after several hours, the car was finally salvaged.
Ning Bai stared straight ahead, this time he finally saw clearly...
The boy is inside, he's still wearing his seat belt, he just won't move...
Ning Bai walked over in a daze, he thought it was an illusion, he had imagined that there was no one in the car, but now he could no longer deceive himself, he reached out to hug the boy, but was pulled by the police and asked, "You Who is the dead man?"
Ning Bai lowered his eyes, and in a gentle voice, as if he was afraid of disturbing anyone, he said softly, "I'm his brother."
The policeman looked at him like this, sighed, and stopped blocking him.
Ning Bai carefully took the boy out of the car and pulled the wet hair on his forehead aside, revealing the boy's handsome and quiet face, but it was a little pale from the blisters and looked a little embarrassed... Ning Bai folded his arms. , hold him tightly in his arms, as if he wants to use his own body to warm the other party's cold body...
"Did you do it on purpose? Or... is this just an accident?" Ning Bai asked in a low voice.
But the other party will never reply to him again.
He is so quiet.
Don't get angry, don't make noise, don't get angry, don't provoke him...
I won't say I love him anymore.
Seeing that he didn't answer, Ning Bai asked sadly, "You did it on purpose, right..."
Because you blame me, blame me for not understanding you sooner, blame me for not falling in love with you sooner, blame me for not grabbing your hand sooner...
When you stood on the edge of the cliff and approached me like a moth to a flame, I didn't understand your desperation and helplessness, but pushed you away again and again...
Or, if I could be really brave, come out of the past earlier, and greet you with another me...
None of this will happen.
I would have had a chance to fall in love with you sooner, to take you out of that home sooner...
But I'm just a coward.
I can't even save myself, how can I save you
actually…
I am the most useless person.
…
A few days later, Ning Bai personally handled the funeral.
Jiang Xuan rushed over when he heard the news. He couldn't believe the result. The boy was fine not long ago, why did he suddenly disappear
what happened
Jiang Xuan grabbed Ning Bai's collar, his eyes were red, and he said angrily, "Why didn't you take good care of him!"
Ning Bai didn't move, just looked at him coolly, his thin lips slightly parted, and he made a mocking voice, "I want to ask you, are you satisfied with the result?"
What do you mean
Jiang Xuan met Ning Bai's eyes, he realized something, his face suddenly turned pale, he let go of his hand and took a step back.
Yes, what qualifications does he have to blame Ning Bo? He personally exposed Lu Xiaodong's identity, because he thought that he could get this person, but he killed him by himself. At that time, he never thought that the boy would really choose to go to a dead end...
It's his fault.
his fault.
At this time, Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan also came.
Lu Maofeng seemed a little sad. He helped Feng Wan come over and comforted him in a low voice, "Sorry and change."
Ning Bai suddenly felt very ironic.
He is your son. You have raised him for 20 years. Shouldn't someone tell you this 'condolences and change'
Lu Maofeng was very embarrassed to see that he was ignored, and then he saw Jiang Xuan, and immediately came forward and said, "Mr. Jiang, you are here too."
Jiang Xuan didn't speak, just looked at him coldly.
This sight made Lu Maofeng very uncomfortable, and he felt like a man on his back, did he and himself offend Jiang Xuan
Feng Wan pushed Lu Maofeng's hand away, she staggered over, looked at the tombstone in front of her, a smile appeared in her eyes, but she quickly covered it up, and then she seemed very sad and said to Ning Bo " How could this happen? What happened to Xiaodong? He…”
Ning Bai looked at her lightly, as if he didn't want to say more, and only spit out two words, "accident."
Feng Wan looked at him with tears and said, "Xiaobai, don't be too sad... Otherwise, mother will worry about you. Mother has no son, and can't be without you anymore."
Ning Bai just stared at her, but the blood on his body slowly cooled down, all of which made him feel so absurd...
He suddenly stepped forward and whispered in Feng Wan's ear, "No, you don't have a son anymore."
Feng Wan listened to his cold and playful tone, his expression froze, and he said in a daze, "You, aren't you still there..."
Ning Bai seemed to be laughing, but there was no warmth in his laughter, only a chill to the bone, he said, "There is one thing I never told you - you didn't lose me, I let go first. Your hand, it's me - I don't want you anymore.
Your son died twenty years ago. "
Feng Wan's pupils contracted suddenly, looking at him in disbelief, looking at the ruthless face of the man in front of him, his lips trembling "No, it's not like this, how could you not want a mother, it can't be like this..."
Ning Bai smiled softly and looked at her deeply, "It's a fact, why don't you recognize it?"
Feng Wan looked at him stubbornly, and suddenly there was deep hatred in his eyes, and he shouted sharply, "How can you do this! Mom loves you so much, Mom gave everything for you, how can you treat me like this! You devil, You are not my son! You are not my son! You are just a demon in his skin!"
A distorted smile appeared on Feng Wan's face, and she rushed out from here frantically. She laughed while running, "I have no sons, all of my sons are dead! All of them are dead! I have no sons, I have no sons..."
Ning Bai looked at Feng Wan's back, but his expression was always indifferent, as if he was looking at an unimportant person.
Looking at this scene, Lu Maofeng's face turned pale in shock, and his body was stiff, and he even looked at Ning Bai with fear...
Feng Wan is crazy.
He felt that he probably shouldn't have come today, so he moved his footsteps quietly, the scene here made him very uneasy, suddenly his shoulder was pressed, Jiang Xuan looked at him with dark and cold eyes, and the corner of his mouth raised, "Let's talk about it. ."
Lu Maofeng "… "
It was quiet around.
Ning Bai focused on the tombstone in front of him, stroked it lightly, and looked at the smiling face of the boy above, as if all his beauty had been frozen in this moment.
I, Jiang Xuan, Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan.
Each of us is a murderer.
I am sorry.
As much as I say about them, it's not them that I hate the most... it's me.
Hate your own powerlessness.
Hate your own cowardice and incompetence.
Ning Bai closed his eyes, what appeared in front of his eyes was the scene when the boy met him for the first time. He wore a bleak and curious makeup, but his smile was bright and tight. Those eyes were shining brightly, and he said to him with a smile. "Handsome man, may I buy you a drink?"
The words that were once frivolous have now become his luxury.
If I could go back to the past, I want to keep you by my side from that moment on and love you with all my heart.
…
three months later.
Xue Ze looked at Ning Bai, who was focusing on work, and said worriedly, "Why don't you go out for a vacation to relax, and work is not in a hurry."
Ning Bai raised his eyes to look at him, and said indifferently, "Don't you always say that it's ruthless and unreasonable for me to leave you alone to make trouble?"
Xue Ze "… "
He wanted to say something, but in the end he just sighed. If he had known today, it was probably better not to be moved.
Love really is a hurtful thing.
Xue Ze turned and left.
Ning Bai didn't work overtime today, he made an appointment with a psychiatrist.
Came to the clinic on time at 8pm.
The doctor looked at him and smiled, "Are you feeling better lately?"
Ning Bo's voice was hoarse, "It's still the same."
The doctor said, "What's it like?"
Ning Bai's affection was a little dazed, he seemed to have thought of something, and slowly opened his eyes with a blank eye.
"There was a dark room with me and a child in it.
We are stuck there.
He called my brother and said I was afraid of my brother.
It's dark here.
I said don't be afraid, I'll take you out.
I knocked hard, but couldn't find the door.
I'm going to pull him.
He suddenly stopped moving.
He said, brother, you can't save me.
You can't even save yourself.
It turns out he's been there for a long, long time...
But I don't know.
I have no idea. "
When Ning Bai said this, he paused and said slowly, "Then he died."
The doctor asked warmly, "Are you still unable to sleep?"
Ning Bo nodded.
The doctor asked him some more questions, told him some enlightening words, and finally said, "I'll give you some medicine."
Ning Bo left from there.
The doctor sighed, he rarely sees such a patient, no matter how many times he comes, it doesn't get any better, or maybe he doesn't want to come out at all, or maybe... he just came to prescribe medicine
…
Ning Bo returned home.
The house was in a mess, just like when the boy was still there. He casually tore off his tie and threw his coat on the sofa, leaving his slippers by his feet.
Don't tidy up too much, so it's as if he's still there.
Ning Bai was lying on the bed, he took the medicine and closed his eyes.
Since that day, he can only fall asleep through sleeping pills.
But as time went by, the efficacy of the medicine seemed to be getting worse and worse. Today, for some unknown reason, even after taking more doses, he still couldn't fall asleep. He was in a daze, with all kinds of messy thoughts in his head, and he couldn't breathe. gas.
He opened his eyes suddenly and struggled to reach for the medicine, but he didn't touch it for a long time, instead he touched the diary.
He kept this book by his pillow.
It was the only thing the boy left him, but he never had the courage to open it again.
He is still so cowardly.
It's all like a nightmare, in an endless loop, with no way out.
Never get out.
Ning Bai clenched the diary tightly, he laughed miserably, and finally opened it again, he felt like a walking corpse, gradually unable to distinguish between reality and illusion, maybe only pain can let him know that he is still real to live, even if the bloody wound is opened again...
But he wanted to feel the meaning of existence.
Familiar words appeared in front of him, Ning Bo watched page by page slowly, as if using a knife, slowly slicing the skin and bones, but he suddenly enjoyed this feeling, because he I feel like I'm very close to the boy.
It's as close as you can reach it.
It's like being close by his side.
From early morning until dawn, the faint morning light leaked in through the gaps in the curtains.
Ning Bai finally turned the last page, and his movements suddenly stopped.
I do not know when the above sentence I went to another world, don't worry about me.
Ning Bai's hands trembled slightly as he gently stroked the sentence.
Turns out, you are such a fool...
You actually, you are still afraid that I will worry about you...
You are so nice, but why...
Never know how to treat yourself better
Ning Bai raised his hand to cover his eyes, and for a long time, a tear left between his fingers.
But you are so stupid, how can I,
Don't worry