Lin Yan shook his head.
The old man smiled: "As soon as you stretched out your hand, I knew it wasn't him when I smelled it. What is Hongsheng's hand like? It smells like oily smoke and mud. It's a hard worker. Your little hand is clean and smells like soap. When a person sneezes, the smell of oranges is covered, can you fool me?"
Lin Yan couldn't help laughing, put his palm under his nose and smelled it, but there was only a strong orange fragrance, he was a little surprised.
"I can't smell it, but people who like you can remember it. Now that I think about it, Hongsheng's palm prints are in a mess like a knife, and he can't touch the lifeline. There is a big scar on the back of his right hand. The gangsters fought and got cut. The barefoot doctor sewed him into a centipede. His fingernails and toenails were sticking out. He kept tearing his socks. Ten fingers made up a bucket, nine dustpans, poor life, and his index finger was one inch longer than his ring finger. Cut off, the little finger has just reached the second joint of the ring finger, and the palm is as rough as sandpaper..."
"I remember it really clearly." Lin Yan poured water for the old man with a thermos bottle, the enamel jar lightly knocked on the wall of the thermos bottle, turned around and said with a smile: "The relationship is so good that people are enviable."
"For the person you like, you can see clearly without eyes. For the person you don't like, it's useless to have four eyes." The old man said quietly: "It's just that my hands have protected me all my life. I have never seen it with my own eyes, but It’s as familiar as it is right in front of your eyes.”
"If you can say that one day, you will really be inseparable from someone." The old man took a sip of water from his cup and asked Lin Yan with great interest, "The young man is in his twenties, have you married a wife?" ?”
Lin Yan shook his head, a shadow flashed in his mind, he suppressed it, and said, "No, we talked about one, almost got married, the girl didn't want to, so we broke up in the end."
The old man sighed regretfully, "You children, don't think that I don't know. You cry every day that you have no house, no car, and different personalities. You love yourself like the sun, and you can't wait for the other party to hold the whole world in front of you. , Was that a relationship? We couldn’t even afford a bed at that time, but we had a heart, we made do with it, and we never regretted it until we died.”
"It's not for this reason." Lin Yan took another orange and peeled it indifferently, and threw a piece into his mouth, thinking about Weiwei's face, he was really embarrassed to tell the old man that he didn't like girls and almost got engaged to her . The old man was in good spirits, and continued to ask him persistently: "Just describe it as I just said, and let me see if you two can do it well."
Lin Yan smiled and sat up straight. He was worried that the old man would be tired from talking too much, and he thought the topic was amusing, so he began to count the memories Weiwei left for him with his fingers: "She...she...well, very beautiful, chin Pointy, like lively, independent personality, like... "
Stumbling through the words, Lin Yan tried hard to describe Weiwei to the old man, but found that he knew almost nothing about her. She was the person who had lived under the same roof with him for more than a year, and gave him the most ordinary happiness and happiness. hapiness. He frowned and recalled how she was busy in the kitchen wearing an apron. The strange thing was that the image of Weiwei in his mind was only a thin back, with fried eggs and milk cereals on the table, and the bright sunlight fell on the floor. Lin Yan thought, this Why is the scene so familiar
Holding a frozen fish in his hand, the slender son said cautiously, "I want to make you breakfast."
The jade-like skin and the bright smile on his face came up close in front of his eyes, thinking that Lin Yan had agreed to him after a night of madness, like a child who finally got candy, hugging his waist contentedly, with his chin resting on his shoulder Come on, say it softly, next time I will be lighter.
There was no next time, a needle pierced Lin Yan's heart so hard that he was about to bleed.
I forgot who said that if there is only love between two people, love is shit, but in reality, how many people spend their whole lives without meeting someone who makes their hearts tremble, not everyone is lucky The most mellow love, the second-rate goods outside can no longer look down upon. More people, more and more people, nearly fifty years old, full of gold and silver, painted pillars and carved beams, children around their knees, seemingly in harmony with each other, sharing the same bed with different dreams.
Who said that holding your hand and growing old together is love? Those who can grow old together do not necessarily have the heart, and those who have the heart do not necessarily live forever. The fate is beautiful and treacherous... It is a pity that no matter how you live, you only have one life.
The old man was a little disappointed, and muttered something about the young people now, and put his hands under the quilt to cover them, not knowing what he was thinking.
As if stimulated by the slightly contemptuous expression on the old man's face, Lin Yan restrained his smile, took a deep breath, and turned his eyes to the window, the gray rain, the gray city, and a person walking in an invisible distance...
He said softly as if dreaming: "He is tall, with broad shoulders and a narrow waist. He likes to frown. When he frowns, there will be a line between his brows. He always squints his eyes to look at me. His nose is very straight. He has a small He has a bad temper. He is more stubborn than me. When he is angry, he always holds back and doesn't speak. It really pissed me off and then he will be soft... He is very jealous, he will eat anything, his His fingers are long and thin, his joints are obvious, his whole person is cold, his hair grows a little below his waist, his appearance will not change, but his nails and hair will grow, just like what the rural people say, I want to help him before he leaves I didn't have time to cut my nails..."
The corners of his heart were throbbing with pain. Lin Yan held his breath and continued, "He straightened his back when he walked, and he could be seen at a glance. There was always a scent of saponins on his body. He can play the piano, is good at calligraphy and painting, but he doesn’t even want to comb his hair, and I have to help him put on his clothes. He doesn’t know how to chop vegetables. , I can't drive you away..."
He thought something was wrong with him, why his throat was choked and uncomfortable, why his chest felt like a stone was pressed...
"He is sometimes fierce, but it's all for my own good. He follows me wherever I go, and he always waits at the door when I go to the bathroom. His pride makes me want to slap him, but he can do it for me. Waiting... waiting in the most humble place, he looks good in anything... I'm willing to buy him anything he wants... I... I... "
His face was buried in his hands, his voice was so hoarse that he couldn't speak: "I miss him, I really fucking miss him..."
Lin Yan ruthlessly scratched his forehead with his fingers, and rested his thumb on his chin. His chest hurt like a split, his eyes were flushed, and the emotions that had been suppressed for many days were no longer under control. He didn't want to lose his composure, so he covered his mouth and eyes, and turned his face several times helplessly, and finally wept in front of the old man, buried his face on his knees and sobbed: "What should I do, he doesn't want me anymore, he won't come back Already... what should I do..."
The old man slowly groped for Lin Yan's head, gently stroked the back of his head with his dry hand, and said softly, "Good boy, good boy, it's not hard, why did you break up after liking so much, I'm sorry for the kid."
Lin Yan shook his head and said hoarsely, "We can't be together."
"Hongsheng and I have been blinded by others for a lifetime, and it's not over yet. It's up to you whether you want to or not." The old man comforted him slowly.
"We are different from you and Hongsheng. We don't get along at all. We are always arguing, and our tempers are so stubborn. We all feel that the other party should be considerate of us. We can't stand this torment..." Lin Yan struggled with red eyes, remembering The ghost's cold eyes in the hospital and his uncompromising posture made him feel aggrieved again.
He thought that the old man would question the conflict between their personalities, but the old man burst out laughing, as if he heard a three-year-old child's self-willedness: "What a silly child, there is no one who doesn't quarrel in life, the more you like it, the more picky you will be." , don't look at me and Hongsheng, when I was young and energetic, I also made a move when I was in a hurry, and I made a fuss, who really takes it seriously."
Lin Yan bit his lower lip stubbornly and did not speak.
The old man laughed even harder, touched Lin Yan's chin with his rough hand, and asked, "Are you arguing with others?"
"No noise."
"What about him?"
"It's not noisy." Lin Yan said angrily, "He doesn't talk to others at all, and sticks to me all day long."
"Really, who would spend energy fighting to the death with someone who has nothing to do with them? The more they like it, the more they care about it. I think it's interesting when I think about it. The two kids are competing at home every day. It's so lively." I can hear the tone in Lin Yan's tone Unconvinced, the old man sighed tremblingly, "A husband and wife are those who are willing to quarrel. Your relationship is worthy of your quarrel. Isn't that enough? At my age, no one wants to quarrel."
The old man was a little emotional, Lin Yan thought back to the old man's words in silence, feelings, he and Xiao Yu, he always thought that they were hosts and parasites in disguise, everything was a premeditated coincidence, internships, encounters with ghosts, plots and killings were all mysterious and bizarre. The black hand has disappeared so far, Lin Yan bit his lower lip, what can be believed? Only that person, only his protection and waiting, is real.
There are tens of thousands of people in the world, but it is his misfortune to choose him, and his stubbornness and unyielding, is it not Xiao Yu's misfortune
Lin Yan turned his face away and said softly, "It's useless, he's already gone and won't come back."
The old man was silent, and a special firm expression slowly appeared on his wrinkled face, and he said to himself: "It won't be broken, he's gone, won't you go look for it? When the chain is lost, if he passes out on the way to the date, why can't you wait and just shake your head and ignore him?"
Lin Yan wiped his nose, suddenly felt embarrassed by his gaffe in front of this unhesitating old man, cleaned up his messy face, and asked, "What about you, if you quarreled with Hongsheng, if he left in a fit of anger, would you Are you going to find him?"
"Look for it, definitely look for it. I can't see it. He never dared to walk past when he was angry. If he really left, I have to find him no matter what." The old man said slowly, the unreasonable firmness from his expression Spreading to the words, it is like making a solemn promise in the face of the void, "Peel another orange, and you won't be able to eat it if you want to eat it in the future."
Lin Yan thought that the old man was feeling sad about the loss of his lover, so he took out a bigger one from the plastic bag, and while picking out the veins, he promised: "I will come to see you often in the future, if you want to eat, just tell me."
The old man smiled noncommittally and stopped talking.
The next day came again. The weather was rainy and the hawkers who had set up stalls had disappeared. Lin Yan went to several supermarkets to find the rock candy tangerines that the old man liked. The elevator in the hospital was still not repaired, and he climbed all the way to the sixth floor. When he opened the door, Lin Yan suddenly found that the bed where the old man was sleeping was empty. Two nurses were changing the sheets, and the whole room was filled with the pungent smell of disinfectant.
"Where's Mr. Liang?" Lin Yan asked while standing at the door, holding a plastic bag.
"Let's go. At four o'clock in the morning today, I suffered heart failure." The nurse threw the enamel jar and thermos bottle into the washbasin expressionlessly, and kicked them out with her foot, "Are you a family member? That's right, just pack up. "
Lin Yan was in a hurry: "I was talking and eating well yesterday, why did you leave suddenly?"
Another nurse said: "I'm old, I can't endure as much trouble as young people, anyway, it's just these two days." After finishing speaking, she was a little bit embarrassed, "Actually, I was rescued in the morning, and he woke up not long after the doctor left. I pulled out the oxygen mask myself... When I came to the rounds in the morning, I was stiff, and I heard that he was a lonely old man, probably he had lived enough, poor."
The plastic bag slipped from his hand, and the orange rolled to the ground. Lin Yan stared blankly at the empty hospital bed, and suddenly understood what the old man said yesterday.
He did not miss the appointment, and Liang Qing went to find his Hongsheng, as if it was the simplest and most reasonable thing, in heaven, on the road leading to Huangquan Biliang, fulfilling a promise with death, holding hands with him from now on, never leaving Never give up, never alone.
Walking out of the morgue, Lin Yan was still in a trance, the old man on the mortuary bed had a peaceful expression, even smiling, as if he was immersed in a sweet dream and forgot to wake up. The rain was a little lighter, Lin Yan walked forward in a daze, his face was cold, he raised his head vigorously, fine raindrops fell into his eyes, and they were all wet.
All the savings of Liang Qing and Zhang Hongsheng were just enough to buy a cemetery in this expensive city. The old man had no children or relatives, so only Lin Yan and the little yellow cat he carried out from the old man's house came to see him off. Seeing Lin Yan bring the locksmith into the door, Lin Yan let out a soft meow. Lin Yan gave it two ham sausages and a box of milk, patted its head and said that your master is gone, so you can make do with me.
The sky was covered with thick light gray rain clouds, but the temperature was warm. One person and one cat stood silently in front of the grave. Two names were engraved side by side on the black marble tombstone, one leading directly to the "forever" home.
Some promises can transcend life and death, living in the same room, dying in the same cave, even turning into ghosts and staying together all the way... Lin Yan hugged the kitten, opened a black umbrella and walked back, looking around the cemetery aimlessly, talking to himself Yu said: "I'm going to find someone too. That person has a very annoying temper. It is said that cats can see ghosts. If you see him, you must scratch him twice for me."
Life is short, fate is impermanent, who dares to expect perfection, it is better to have fun in time with a person you fall in love with, and have a big spring and autumn dream.