"The man who brought me said that he was full of regrets before he died. He took his friend's hand and cried and said, "I can't see it, I'll never see it again..."
"He died lightly, as if it was meaningless. I saw a sentence engraved on his tombstone: I love her, but like the wind loves the sand."
"I have never understood what this sentence means. I only know that he is dead. When I was about to find him, he died!" Ah San's tone was full of resentment, but at the same time, it also sounded Choked: "Why die, why didn't I see him? He didn't even leave a photo, and everything was burnt clean. I never know, the one who claims to be me What does Dad’s person look like. No matter how clearly others describe it, I don’t know and I will never know."
I sighed, pulled her gently, and then hugged her into my arms. Ah San's body trembled slightly, she didn't struggle, let me hold her arms, and then kept sobbing: "They don't want me, father, mother, and even Lord Lordan, died when I came to him. They are right, I am a nemesis, whoever I miss will die..."
I patted her on the back, and comforted me slowly: "How come you are so cute, who would not want you. In this world, there is no nemesis, everything is destined."
"Then why do they all die when I want to find someone?"
I don't know how to answer this question, maybe it was just a sentence, and it's a coincidence. It's just that Ah San's past was so tragic that it was really unexpected.
I remembered her saying that her mother might be a Miao. Judging by her previous words, her mother must have died too. However, I had to ask her: "What happened later? How did you find your mother?"
It's not that I am curious, but I know that grief is like a flood, and it is better to be sparse. Only when she vents all the negative emotions in her heart can she live happily.
By this time, I finally understood why Ah San had always maintained such a cold mentality.
She is not really cold-blooded, perhaps the perennial dangerous experience has indeed made her accustomed to guarding against everyone. But at the same time, she also considers herself a nemesis because of other people's words. Everyone you miss will die because of her. Therefore, she was indifferent to everything and faced others in cold blood, just because she didn't want to usher in sadness again after she was familiar with it.
As for the sentence engraved on his father's tombstone, I couldn't understand it the first time I heard it. It wasn't until a long time later, when all the experiences evolved into life's various forms, that I didn't understand his father's true meaning.
The wind is free and the sand is at the mercy of others. It looks like grains of sand are rising in the wind, but in fact, it is an extremely passive attitude. Represents unreality. I think the union of Asan's parents must be very unhappy. In other words, her father really loves her mother, but what about her mother
The answer seems to be carved on the tombstone.
In response to my question, Ah San sobbed for a long time and said, “My father’s friend told me that my mother is probably a Hmong, because one day ago, after my father came back from a trip in Xiangxi, he was very happy to tell him that he loved I went to a local woman. After a long time, my father brought her back. The two really fell in love and gave birth to a child. But the day after the child was born, the woman disappeared. My father went crazy everywhere. I went to find it, but I couldn't find it. He sent me to an orphanage to take care of me, and then returned to Xiangxi alone. Because he thought that the woman he loved very much must have returned to his hometown.
Hearing this, there are a hundred thousand why in my head asking questions.
Since we are in love and have a baby, why will we not see each other the next day
Although Ah San did not know how old he was when he left the orphanage, he would have to be at least ten years old if he wanted to have a child who could travel to most of China. So when she returns to the orphanage, she should be at least about 13 or 4 years old, right
For so many years, my father has not been able to find my mother
And why, after taking away Ah San's belongings, my father soon passed away sadly
And why is there such a sentence on his tombstone
All this is an incomprehensible problem.
"I came to Xiangxi and wanted to find the traces of their existence." Asan said, "I know the names of my father and mother, so it took a short time to find the place where they met. However, there is still only one tomb there. . Mother’s name is engraved on the tomb. It is beautiful, like a river in a mountain forest, clear and sweet. However, I was hunted and killed at that time."
I was taken aback, and couldn't help asking: "By whom?"
"Mom's relatives." Asan replied.
"Why?" I asked again.
"Because, my mother died very miserably." Asan cried in my arms and said, "They said that my mother was eaten alive by bugs, she screamed, she resented, but no one could help her. She Just like that, in front of many people, she was eaten by bugs in one bite. Many bugs crawled all over her body, got into her eyes, bit her eyeballs, then got into her mouth and gnawed. She broke her tongue and got into her belly again..."
"Stop talking!" I felt numb and horrified. I couldn't help but yell. I grabbed Ah San's arm and shook her vigorously: "Stop talking! Those are things from the past!"
It's not that I am afraid that her description is too horrible, but that I understand that if she is allowed to continue, she is likely to have a nervous breakdown. My dearest mother was eaten alive by countless insects. What kind of miserable situation was that
However, why did mother's relatives chase and kill Ah San
San didn't know what I was wondering in my heart, she just cried and said, "She died like that, how could she die like that! I don't know what father looked like, but mother didn't even leave any bones! Why! why!"
I sighed deeply, empathizing and understanding her inner pain. Half of her experience in life is enough to make people feel unhappy, not to mention that she has encountered so many things at such a young age.
It's hard to imagine how she has survived by herself.
Asan, who is in front of others, is always optimistic, lively and lovely. But who knows that, deep in her heart, there is such a tragic past.
I can only hold her heavily in my arms again, feel the soft body, trembling constantly, tears slid across her face and wet my clothes.
My skin tasted her bitterness.
"Don't be afraid, I am here." I said softly.
Ah San Wa burst into tears, she completely let go of everything, hugged me hard, stuffed her head in my arms and cried loudly. Her cry was so sad and hysterical. I thought, maybe before that, she had never cried because of these things, or maybe she hadn't been crying like this unrestrainedly.
She was enduring, hoping that she could be strong until the death of Lord Lordan, and finally smashed a gap in the wall in her heart.
Ah San persistently wanted to find the residence of Lord Lordan and find out why the old Secretary died. The reason is that simple.
She is about to collapse...
I don't know how to comfort people, and I don't know how to comfort a sad girl. I can only hold her and use my body temperature to make her feel warm. Listening to Ah San's helpless cry, a thought suddenly came up in his heart to protect her and stop crying as she does today!
This idea, like the seed of a weed, steadily germinates and grows, and firmly occupies a large important place in my heart.
Ah San cried for a long time, Ah Da has been waiting quietly in the back. It is a corpse without feelings, and naturally does not know how to comfort, and can only express its emotions in silence. However, Monk Jue Ming chanted a Buddha's name in a low voice.
After a long time, Asan gently pushed me away. She wiped her tears with her hand, and her body twitched slightly from the long crying. Although I feel sorry for her, at this moment, I can only make her forget these unhappy things as soon as possible, and said: "If you cry like this, which girl will like you in the future."
"I, I don't want..." Ah San sobbed and said, "The girl likes me..."
I smiled and said: "Don't want girls to like you, do you want boys to like you? I haven't found out yet, you think so."
"Big pervert!" Ah San shouted at me with a choking voice: "You will bully me, oooooo, you're a badass!"
Seeing that she was about to cry again, I immediately messed up my hands and feet, coaxing and compensating, all the good things were said, and several unequal treaties were promised, and it took a lot of hard work to make Ahsan laugh.
Her smile, like spring sunshine, instantly melted my heart. I felt the little deer in my heart plop and thump, my eyes couldn't bear to blink, and I kept looking at her like that.
Although it was dark in the tunnel, Asan could still feel my scorching gaze. I heard her a little bit shy and whispered, "You, what are you looking at..."
Her shy appearance is really intoxicating. At this time, even a fool knows to say some romantic words. However, just as I opened my mouth to express myself, Monk Hearing Ming said: "Someone is coming."
I was so shocked that I couldn't take care of the previous month with Asanhua, sweet words, and quickly asked: "Where is it? Where is the person?"
Monk Jueming raised his head. He was too tall. When he raised his head, his nose was almost at the top of the tunnel.
I heard him say: "On top."
"Where is it up here?" I looked at Asan in front of me.
As soon as Ah San finished crying, I was dizzy again, and was at a loss at the moment. She did not answer my question for a long time. I was funny and angry. After all, I rarely see her so silly and cute, so I said: "You can sing Bel Canto a few times."
Ah San subconsciously uttered again, and then said embarrassedly: "Above, it is Lord Lord's room above."
"I know it's his house..." I said.
Asan reacted immediately and said, "I mean, it's the room where he sleeps."
Is this answer very different from the sentence just now? (End of this chapter)