Ye Yao was so far away from him, and his voice was so firm, Lu Xun sat on the bed halfway, with blue veins floating on the back of his hand holding the railing at the head of the bed.
What does it mean to give up fantasy that shouldn't be there
All the nerves are clamoring to pull Ye Yao, who is far away from him, into his arms, and restore everything to the way it was before.
But he can't do it now.
"Sleep." Lu Xun's voice was deep.
Ye Yao didn't speak, just looked at Lu Xun quietly.
Lu Xun took two breaths and slowed down his voice: "I won't do anything, you see, we used to sleep like this when we were in different beds, and I didn't bother you."
Ye Yao pursed his lips, he looked under the bed and glanced at the other members of the dormitory.
Xiaopang and Wenke are actually in the dormitory, but they are playing games with headphones on, talking about the line from time to time, and they are very focused.
In retrospect, since he started going out for the weekend and then returned to the dormitory, the frequency of Xiaopang and Wenke wearing headphones has increased significantly, as if they were afraid of hearing some serious secret news.
Ye Yao looked at Lu Xun again, and Lu Xun looked at him without blinking. The cruel words he said before did not give Lu Xun the slightest idea of retreating.
Ye Yao sighed, instead of lying down and talking to Lu Xun, he sat up and moved to the end of the bed where Lu Xun was close.
Lu Xun's voice was tense: "I don't want to sleep in the same bed with you now, I just want to sleep in two beds head-to-head, is it an illusion?"
Ye Yao lowered his voice and tried to reason with Lu Xun as calmly as possible: "Lu Xun, I like men, you already know this."
"So what?" Lu Xun quickly asked in a deep voice.
"So it's not good for you or me when you sleep so close." Ye Yao said slowly, "You should think better than me about this."
Lu Xun looked at Ye Yao with deep eyes, the tips of his fingers turning white while grasping the railing at the head of the bed.
"Knowing that you are homophobic, it was my fault for concealing that you had so much physical contact with you in the past. I apologize for that. Given our current identities, it is impossible to have a lot of contact." Ye Yao said bluntly. To be honest, if he had to rack his brains to think of all kinds of excuses before, now he can say it candidly.
Lu Xun's expression was stiff, Ye Yao couldn't see his inner thoughts.
Probably because they are reluctant to partake of this friendship, and they are entangled and unhappy because of the difference in their sexual orientation.
"Don't apologize to me, you..." Lu Xun took a deep breath, Ye Yao's apology touched his nerves deeper than the previous words.
Many people say in a playful tone that the wife is not at fault, and if there is a mistake, please re-read the rule that the wife is not at fault.
But for Lu Xun, he seriously thinks that Ye Yao can't be wrong. If it looks wrong on the surface, it must be someone else's fault.
For example, it must be his fault now.
Lu Xun scratched his hair, and he suddenly became depressed, "It's my fault, I used to do that kind of thing all the time, and even said gay men were disgusting in front of you, you can scold me."
Ye Yao softened his voice: "You didn't know about this before. Since we've explained the truth, you can go to the other side and sleep Lu Xun, it's not good for me to use my feet to face you."
Ye Yao's soft persuasion didn't work either. After saying so much, Lu Xun refused without hesitation: "I don't, I slept here for two years, why do you let me go over there? I'm going to sleep here."
"..." Ye Yao said, "...whatever you want, I can't force you."
Ye Yao saw Lu Xun lying down in this direction, stretched out his hand, and pulled the curtain hanging at the end of the bed.
There has always been a bed curtain on his bed. On weekdays, the outer curtain is pulled up at night, so that whether he is on the opposite bed or down to the desk, he can't see what he is doing, and it can protect a certain individual.
And in the area where his bed and Lu Xun's bed were connected, although there was also a bed curtain, the bed curtain was basically only for decoration and had never been drawn before.
Now, Ye Yao pulled the little curtain of the bed.
"You actually pulled the bed curtain?" Lu Xun on the other side of the bed curtain was shocked.
"Then I can't really let you look up and see my feet, I'm sorry." Ye Yao said.
"I don't care what do you care about?" Lu Xun said anxiously, "Hurry up and open the bed curtain."
"Of course I care, I'm not used to doing bad things." Ye Yao was not persuaded, "Don't secretly lift the curtain of my bed in the middle of the night, I made a mark here."
Lu Xun didn't speak anymore, Ye Yao lay down on the bed again.
The only sound left in the dormitory was the occasional sound from Wenke and Xiaopang when they were playing games. After lying down for a while, Ye Yao took out his mobile phone and saw the message Lu Xun sent him.
Lu Xun didn't say anything angry and broke up with him, but sent him an emoji he had used before.
It was still the little shark with a round head and a round head sticking out his head from the wall, with the words: [Is there a little cutie at home?]
Ye Yao watched for a moment, then moved his fingers to reply: [Good night, go to bed earlier.]
*
At twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, the lights in the dormitory were turned off, and Ye Yao, who was sleeping, opened his eyes.
His bed was surrounded by a curtain and isolated from the outside, so that he could not see the outside scene.
Ye Yao got up slowly without making any sound. He changed the position of his head and feet, and came to a position close to Lu Xun and lay down. Across a thin bed curtain, they faced each other again.
Ye Yao closed his eyes.
He really wasn't used to doing bad things, even if there was a stranger on the other side, he couldn't put his foot on someone's head, not to mention Lu Xun was his best friend.
Forget it, Lu Xun won't know anyway, so that's it.
*
At half past two in the middle of the night, most of the people in the dormitory went to sleep.
Except for one person.
Lu Xun quietly rolled over and got out of bed.
He knew that Ye Yao's sleep time was very regular, and it was impossible for him to be awake now.
He can't sleep.
He wants to take a look, just take a look.
Ye Yao and the side of the bed curtain that was close to him were marked.
Lu Xun quietly walked to Ye Yao's bed like a thief, carefully opened the bed curtain and looked inside.
The light at night was poor, only the dim light of the corridor lights outside shone into the dormitory through the glass above the door. Lu Xun couldn't see clearly for a while, squinting his eyes carefully.
... Why doesn't it seem right, the head, there is no head.
Did Ye Yao bury his entire head in the quilt
Lu Xun thought that this is not good, there is no fresh air to breathe, so he reached out and tried to get Ye Yao's quilt down.
Lu Xun played the quilt very carefully, but he still didn't see Ye Yao's head, instead he saw something vague, like the tip of a toe.
Ye Yao didn't sleep here.
The moment this idea flashed through Lu Xun's heart, his heart jumped wildly.
Lu Xun lowered the curtain on one side of the bed and quickly went to the other side, this time he saw what he wanted to see.
Ye Yao fell asleep peacefully, even if it was just a silhouette, it had the power to make Lu Xun happy and excited.
Lu Xun always felt that the man couldn't cry easily, but when he saw Ye Yao quietly changing direction, his eyes still swelled uncontrollably.
He was prone to mood swings because of Ye Yao, but now it's like his whole heart has collapsed.
How could there be such a person who is so soft-hearted towards him, a bad guy.
Lu Xun didn't reach out to touch Ye Yao's face or hair, and just watched quietly. After a while, Lu Xun found Ye Yao's hand on the edge of the bed.
So he slowly moved over and put his forehead on the back of Ye Yao's hand.
Like a vicious dog, kissing its owner's fingertips.
*
Life and study are going on as usual. Because of the all-round development of moral, intellectual, physical and aesthetics, there are no shortage of various sports activities.
The most popular entertainment basketball game for male college students has started again. Due to someone's dark-box operation, this time it is still an entertainment game between finance and law.
The weather is not as cold as it was in winter, and everyone wears thinner clothes. In addition, spring is a season when everything is full of vitality, and this basketball game can be said to be in full swing.
By the end of the game, everyone was sweating profusely.
Ye Yao came over in a hurry after writing a few questions after class. He didn't have time to buy water. He wiped his sweat and planned to go to the canteen outside the gym to buy a bottle of water.
An unfamiliar voice came from behind Ye Yao: "Ye Yao, didn't you bring water? I'll give you this bottle of water, I haven't drunk it before."
Ye Yao turned around and saw a person with a familiar face. Ye Yao frowned slightly and thought about it, vaguely remembering that this person had played basketball with him before. Because he helped this person, the person invited him to the milk tea shop for a cup of milk tea and chatted casually.
Later, Lu Xun came over and told him that this person was chasing him.
"You probably don't remember me, my name is Yan Xing." Yan Xing said with a smile, "I heard that you played and rushed over. The last time I played with you, I felt that your skills were good. This time I was there. Looking at it, it really is top-notch technology!"
"Thank you." Ye Yao said, "I don't need the water, I'll buy it outside later."
Yan Xing continued with a smile and said, "What are you doing so politely? You don't have much money for a bottle of water, so it doesn't matter if you accept it."
Ye Yao: "..."
Ye Yao hadn't figured out how to refuse when his arm was suddenly poked, and another bottle of water was handed to him.
Ye Yao looked down the bottle of water and saw Lu Xun, who was also sweating profusely.
Ye Yao didn't answer, so Lu Xun handed it over to him again.
"It's not Kaifeng." Lu Xun whispered, "I haven't drunk it."
For Lu Xun, this is really a rare explanation.
Ye Yao still remembered that the last time someone gave him water, Lu Xun also interrupted the process of others giving him water. Everything was similar and not similar.
The last time Lu Xun stuffed him with water, it was a half-drinking bottle of water. The two of them used to drink the same bottle together. This behavior can only be regarded as a daily good brother behavior.
But this time, Lu Xun gave him an unopened bottle of water.
When they share a bottle, they are close friends. When a person enjoys a bottle to themselves, they are friends with the right distance.
"Did you drink?" Ye Yao asked.
"Of course I drank the others." Lu Xun replied.
Ye Yao didn't believe it. Lu Xun's teammates were all drinking the same brand of mineral water. This water should have been distributed by Lu Xun's team, and each person only had one bottle.
And Lu Xun came later than him, and he didn't have anything in his hand when he came.
Lu Xun also only had one bottle of water.
Just after playing basketball, when everyone was so thirsty that they were smoking, Lu Xun didn't drink the bottle of water, or even opened the bottle, and handed it to him directly.
It was because he was afraid that after Kaifeng, he would not want to drink it.
"There's only one bottle, just drink it." Ye Yao lowered his eyes, "I can see that you haven't drunk it yet."
After being silent for a while, Lu Xun said, "Then I'll go to the store with you to buy water."
Ye Yao did not refuse this time, he nodded to Yan Xing and left.
Of course Lu Xun followed Ye Yao closely, Yan Xing's unsightly figure disappeared in Lu Xun's eyes, and his hand that squeezed the bottle was finally relaxed.
The man who pursues Ye Yao.
This is the man who pursues Ye Yao on the premise that Ye Yao likes men.
… so annoying.
*
In the dead of night in the dormitory, Lu Xun got up again and secretly looked at Ye Yao's blurred outline.
Ye Yao was very quiet when he slept, Lu Xun watched it for a long time, and in a trance, he recalled the scent in his memory.
That was the scent of the shower gel that he could smell on Ye Yao when he hugged Ye Yao to sleep before.
It stands to reason that this is not a rare and seductive fragrance, but when it appears on Ye Yao, it will make him intoxicated.
This must be the best smell in the world, and once he was the only person in the world who could smell Ye Yao's aroma at night when Ye Yao was asleep.
Lu Xun remembered the man who delivered water to Ye Yao on the court today.
Will there be other men in the future who also smell this fragrance
Lu Xun has been avoiding this problem subconsciously. The high school students who make up the class are too young to be a threat, and today's appearance of Yan Xing has completely sounded the alarm.
As a couple, Ye Yao would be hugged by other men, and they could do many things that he couldn't do now.
... just like the movie he watched with Ye Yao not long ago.
Ye Yao will touch that person's cheek and touch that person's Adam's apple.
Ye Yao, who he had never seen before, would be admired by a man, and it would definitely be amazingly beautiful.
That person must not be him who still wants to continue to be friends.
His heart seemed to be tightened, and Lu Xun had difficulty breathing, resting his head on the cold iron railing, and inhaling in small sips.
He was thinking about a lot of things, and there were many things that impacted his notions since he was a child, so he didn't dare to make judgments easily.
But at this moment, it was so easy to find that every bit of his life with Ye Yao was replaced by another man, and for him... it was the collapse of the whole world.