It is said that when people subconsciously feel that they have done something wrong and are discovered by others, they will immediately choose to let go or escape.
But at that moment, Song Yan just held Xia Zhiye's hand tightly, and Xia Zhiye held back tightly with the same strength.
Umbrellas draped over their feet, dripping rain, making the stained steps even more muddy.
Looking at this scene, Liu Deqing didn't react much. It was the first time he encountered such a situation after teaching for so many years.
On one side are outstanding alumni who are very representative in the history of their school, and on the other side are their two students with the best grades in this class. Such a meeting should have been joyful, full of praise and compliments.
At this moment, he was silently confronting each other, and his sword was on the verge of breaking out, so that he was not sure if he was thinking too much.
Before he could make any further confirmation, Song Minghai had already opened his mouth appropriately: "Director Liu, Mr. Xia and I have something to say to the children, why don't you go and do it first?"
"Oh, okay, no problem. I'll go to the concert hall first. If necessary, I will ask volunteers to bring you here." Liu Deqing walked away quickly holding an umbrella with great insight.
Song Minghai raised his chin slightly and looked at Song Yan: "Get in the car."
The always kind and friendly Mr. Xia also suppressed his smile, and said lightly: "Xia Zhiye, come here."
Song Yan thought, if it was in a movie, a TV series, or a romantic novel, he should hold Xia Zhiye's hand now, and run around in this heavy rain without thinking about it.
Go fuck the college entrance examination.
fuck puppy love.
Fuck Song Minghai.
It's a pity that they are just ordinary teenagers in an ordinary old street, in front of an ordinary school, who want to spend the rest of their lives with each other.
So they shook each other's hands, felt each other's strength and temperature, and walked towards each other firmly, each stepping into the expensive luxury car that they could not afford with their current strength.
When the car door was closed, Song Yan was still sitting in the co-pilot, and Song Minghai was still sitting in the back seat, looking at Song Yan with a scrutinizing gaze through the rearview mirror.
"I heard that Xia Zhiye spent this winter vacation with his sister and brother-in-law in Beijing."
A word of four or two is enough to make a difference, pointing out the already obvious relationship.
Song Yan didn't like their twists and turns in the business world, so he asked indifferently, "So what are you going to do?"
"Transfer school. Break contact. Follow the path of normal people."
Unsurprising answer.
Song Yan tilted his head and looked out the window. He still remembered that when he first came, what he hated the most was the endless rainy season in this city, but looking at it now, he actually likes it very much.
"If I don't want to," he said.
Song Minghai answered quickly: "It has nothing to do with whether you are willing or not. Song Yan, you will only turn 17 in a few days. You don't even have full capacity for civil conduct. What do you think if you don't want to?" .”
Without any emotional ups and downs, arrogant as if this is a war that must be won.
He looked at Song Yan: "Of course, you can cry, you can make trouble, you can take Xia Zhiye to elope, make the city full of wind and rain, die or live, make it extremely ugly, and then both transfer to another school, adding a very special touch to your resume .But you trust me."
Song Minghai paused slightly, and smiled sarcastically: "Even if you are shameless, the Xia family will never allow this kind of thing to exist, so if you don't transfer school, the one who transfers will be Xia Zhiye. As far as I know, he should still There is a cheap grandma and a cheap sister living in a small bungalow near here that need to be taken care of, and after leaving, there is really nothing left."
"At the same time, if you become a gay underage who rebelliously dropped out of school, I can legitimately judge that you are not eligible to inherit your mother's inheritance on the grounds of your lack of moral character, and then cut off all your financial resources and appreciate that you have nothing. life. But I don't think it's a good idea, what do you think, Song Yan?"
Song Minghai sat in the back seat leisurely, looking at Song Yan's eyebrows and eyes in the rearview mirror, showing a gentleman's elegant smile.
Song Yan watched all this through the car window coldly, not surprised at all.
Sure enough, this is Song Minghai, who calmly holds everything in his hands, knows all the weaknesses and handles of others, and then punches hard without hesitation.
He would never let Song Minghai take away that inheritance.
Because that inheritance represented Tan Qing's freedom, the guarantee of her and Song Lele's future life, and the possible opportunity to completely trample Song Minghai under his feet and watch him break up like a bereaved dog, his wife and children, and his career ruined.
He wouldn't let Xia Zhiye turn away either.
He can leave Nanwu, as long as he has Xia Zhiye.
But Xia Zhiye could not.
The old bungalow is always cut off from water and electricity, and there are occasional rain leaks in this kind of weather. Grandma has severe rheumatism, and the little mahjong is still so young. At the beginning, Xia Zhiye gave up the real school and transferred to the third middle school to take care of them nearby. Now that they just leave, what should they do with their orphans and widowed mothers.
And this is the place where Xia Zhiye grew up, with his friends, his brothers, all his memories from childhood to adulthood, how could he be willing to let Xia Zhiye be forced to transfer from here and leave hastily.
That eye-catching and decent arrogant boy, under the watchful eyes of all those who love him and his love, should graduate with the first prize, but there may be one less himself among those people.
It's just that one is missing.
Song Yan originally thought that he had made enough psychological preparations, had enough calmness and reason, but when he thought of these words, his heart still couldn't help but hurt a little, the pain made him close his eyes, not daring to let People see the sourness in their own eyes.
Only then did he realize that Fang Chang and Zhao Ruiwen's jokes were not exaggerated.
He has long been used to being inseparable from Xia Zhiye, used to the place where he can touch Xia Zhiye as soon as he reaches out, kicks as soon as he lifts his leg, and calls Xia Zhiye as soon as he opens his mouth.
Xia Zhiye has infiltrated almost every inch of air in his life, so he never thought about what he would do if one day he really couldn't see Xia Zhiye in his vision.
But that's all he can do.
He let out a long breath, then opened his eyes, and looked at Song Minghai coldly through the rearview mirror: "I transfer schools, but there is a condition."
"speak."
"Let's go after the school celebration performance."
"Give me a reason."
"It's my birthday."
When Song Minghai heard this reason, he fell silent.
And Song Yan just looked at the sky covered with dark clouds in the distance, and said in a low and distant voice, "Dad, I have never had a real birthday in my life."
That "father" is a strange and difficult title that has not been seen for a long time after many years.
It was like a powerless threat that suppressed countless grievances and resentments, and it was also like the last sad gift after finally giving up. It fell in the cool spring rain, which made people feel chilled and slightly startled.
Song Minghai looked at the face reflected in the car window that was similar to himself, and suddenly had a premonition that he had completely lost something.
Perhaps it was at that moment that he finally felt a little soft-hearted about being a parent.
Perhaps it was his extrajudicial favor after he was finally satisfied with the negotiation results of this transaction.
In short, after a slight pause, he replied: "Okay. The time is over, you come with me, get out of the car."
Song Yan opened the car door, and the rain fell on his shoulders.
He tried to turn around and close the car door, but Song Minghai stopped him: "Song Yan."
Song Yan held the door of the car, looking down coldly.
Song Minghai sat in the carriage, raised his eyes and looked up: "Do you know why I always win?"
Song Yan was speechless.
Song Minghai said slowly: "Because none of your food and clothing, which is a hundred times better than ordinary people, is earned by your own ability. If you depend on others to live, you can only depend on others' decisions. This is the weak helpless, understand?"
This is the powerlessness of the weak.
This was the second time Song Minghai said this to him.
Same location, same tone, same content.
And he had to admit that Song Minghai was right.
That's what they can't do.
Because he is not strong enough, mature enough, and independent enough, he is always powerless at this age.
For example, the little prince watch that he failed to protect.
For example, this time he didn't make the choice to stay.
But he thinks that Song Minghai may have forgotten one thing, no weak will always be weak, especially when they encounter people and things that they want to own and protect extremely strongly, they can always become stronger at an unexpected speed.
"thanks."
After Song Yan gave Song Minghai these two words, he closed the car door.
Turning around, I entered under Xia Zhiye's umbrella, the wind and rain were blocked out, with the familiar warm citrus scent soaking in the air.
He looked up at Xia Zhiye: "Do you believe that we will never break up no matter what?"
Xia Zhiye held an umbrella, looked down at him, and replied seriously and gently: "I believe."
So Song Yan lowered his eyelashes and took Xia Zhiye's hand.
Two strings of the same bracelet lightly collided together, a silent tacit understanding.
They held umbrellas and walked into the rain side by side.
In front of Song Minghai, in front of Xia Lao, and in front of all the witnesses in that old street who watched them go to school and leave school together every day, they walked into the rain frankly together.
The driver of Xia's family finally couldn't bear it anymore and said, "Old Xia, do you really agree with that?"
Elder Xia sighed for a long time: "So what if you don't agree. The law stipulates that us parents can only control them until they are eighteen years old, because everyone's life is their own, and others can't control it and can't take responsibility." .”
So he will only care about Xia Zhiye until he is eighteen.
Before that, he was just the most selfish, old-fashioned feudal parent who wanted his children to be good, and he would not let Xia Zhiye see Song Yan again.
Since he wasn't sure if it was their ignorant impulses, he couldn't watch his kid go down a difficult path.
But if the later experience proves that they are not young and ignorant impulses, they have withstood the test of distance and time, and they can also be responsible for their own choices, then he has no right to interfere.
"Xiao Ye, just like his father, he has a better temper than anyone else, and he is also more stubborn than anyone else, or he doesn't have rare things, but once he gets rare, it will be difficult to let go."
The rainy day sighed leisurely, which was the ending that the teenagers had already determined in their hearts.
·
When Xia Zhiye and Song Yan appeared at the door of the body room as usual, they found a dignified silence inside the door. Everyone looked at them, as if they wanted to say something but dared not say it. Kong Xiaoxiao's eyes were even a little red .
It was Song Yan who laughed first: "What's wrong with you?"
As soon as they saw him smiling, the others couldn't hold back in an instant, Xiaopang choked up and said, "Brother Yan, why are you still laughing, just now Kong Xiaoxiao went to the Academic Affairs Office to get props, and heard Liu Deqing tell other teachers that your father is going to transfer you gone."
"Oh, this." Song Yan said with a smile, "There is such a thing. Because they found out that I was in love with Xia Zhiye."
"..."
Because the words were too light and insignificant, the others just sat there, not knowing how to react for a moment.
Only Song Yan still smiled and said: "But my father said that he would take me away after we finished the performance. It happened to be my birthday that day, so you can work harder then."
Maybe it was because Song Yan was too cruel and irritable, so when he laughed like this, everyone couldn't help feeling sour.
Xiaopang was the first to hug Song Yan, crying loudly: "Why is your father like this, what's wrong with liking boys, why do you want to transfer schools, how long have you been here, is it fun to go around? "
And Song Yan, who has always refused to be touched by everyone except Xia Zhiye, patted him on the back for the first time: "Okay, don't cry for a fat man of two hundred catties, I will leave you the membership card of the milk tea shop in front of the school." , and you can exchange for three cups of milk tea for free with another stamp.”
Xiaopang suddenly cried even harder: "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo , you are so nice
Zhao Ruiwen couldn't help it anymore, and rushed forward and hugged Song Yan from behind: "I was wrong, brother Yan, I shouldn't have said that I am tired of watching you distribute dog food, I can still watch you distribute dog food Graduation, really, can you not transfer to another school, what will our Master Xia do if you transfer to another school?"
"That's right, you can spread dog food as you like, just don't leave."
"I won't change the script to abuse, I want to write you as he, I must write you as he, woo woo woo..."
The other boys in the body room cried less than the two of them, but their eyes were also red, and they came up one by one to give Song Yan one hug after another.
In the past, Xia Zhiye must have kicked these people away one by one with jealousy, but now he just stood silently watching Song Yan, watching the official farewell ceremony between him and the city.
Looking at this sharp young man who was so cold and indifferent at first meeting that he seemed to never bother to make friends, now he has learned to say the words "treasure, goodbye" with a gentle smile.
And it wasn't until all the boys said goodbye that Kong Xiaoxiao stood in front of Song Yan holding the pair of red dresses, suppressed her sobs, and said calmly: "Don't worry, Brother Yan, we will definitely perform well when the time comes, and we still have to do it." Change the ending to he, buy you the biggest cake, celebrate your birthday, and never let you have any regrets. So go try on the clothes first to see if they fit, and if they don’t fit, I’ll change them tomorrow.”
Song Yan took it with both hands, and said with a smile, "Okay, thank you, Miss Xiao."
He is a very good-looking young man, and Kong Xiaoxiao couldn't bear such a gentle smile now, and burst into tears with a "wow": "Brother Yan, if you want to feel uncomfortable, you can cry, you hold it like this, I look at it uncomfortable."
As if they really felt that their reaction was too exaggerated.
Song Yan couldn't help laughing and said, "Don't talk like you're dying. Xia Zhiye and I won't break up. As far as our grades are concerned, after the college entrance examination, we are not stable Peking University masters. There is nothing to cry about. "
"real?"
Kong Xiaoxiao sniffed, doubtful.
Song Yan hugged Dahong Xifu, looked back at Xia Zhiye, raised her eyebrows and said, "Do you think it's true?"
"Of course it's true." Xia Zhiye stepped forward to put Song Yan's shoulders on Song Yan's shoulders as usual, and said with a lazy smile, "Do you think I can't get into Peking University, or my brother Yan can't get into Peking University?"
"neither."
"That's it, that's enough, stop crying, those who don't know think Brother Yan beat you up. Let's go change clothes first, and you can see how the script is changed."
Xia Zhiye held the wedding dress in one hand and Song Yan in the other, and walked slowly to the dressing room behind the concert hall, smiling and talking to Song Yan from time to time. between.
Undressing, changing, taking your time, being organized, it really doesn't seem like there's a big difference.
It seemed that they were all rational and calm enough not to cry needlessly because of such a temporary separation.
However, when Song Yan lowered his head and couldn't fasten the last button of Xifu, suddenly there was a "click", and tears fell to the ground.
He tried his best to endure the soreness from the corners of his eyes and the tip of his nose, tried to open his eyes wide, tried not to be blurred by tears, and tried his best to keep his fingertips smooth and meticulous.
But the tip of the nose is still getting more and more sore, the vision is still getting more and more blurred, and the fingertips are still getting more and more trembling. The small button just can't fit into the tab that should be put into it.
When he failed again and again, he finally couldn't see anything clearly in front of his eyes, lowered his head, and choked up and called out: "Xia Zhiye."
Then the curtain was lifted, and he was embraced in his arms: "I am here."
The voice was equally hoarse and quivering.
At that moment Song Yan couldn't bear it any longer. He leaned into Xia Zhiye's arms, tightly grasping the hem of his clothes with his fingers, and his voice was uncontrollably hoarse: "Xia Zhiye, I don't want to go. I really don't want to go." I don’t know if I can get through this, and I don’t know what to do if I can’t. I’m afraid that the depression will relapse, I’m afraid I won’t be able to sleep again, and I’m afraid that you won’t come to me after being separated for so long. Do it. Xia Zhiye, I'm so sad, really sad, so sad that I can't breathe, what should I do."
The ending was drowned in a choked sob of despair.
The bright red satin fabric on Xia Zhiye's shoulders was smudged and wet in large swaths of dark color.
The cold and hard boy finally lost his disguise, with a thin and thin back, trembling hopelessly like a winter butterfly.
Xia Zhiye couldn't express what kind of distress he felt in his heart at that time, nor could he express how much he hated himself for being helpless.
He could only hug Song Yan tightly, and said firmly in a hoarse voice: "Don't be afraid, I will definitely go to you, I will definitely go to you, my boyfriend has never said nothing, right? So you Be sure to eat well, sleep well, and when I arrive, I will pick you up with my real estate certificate, bank card, and big diamond ring, okay?"
Song Yan wanted to say yes, but he was afraid that he would no longer be able to hold back the tears when he opened his mouth, so he could only bite his lips tightly, and the fingers holding Xia Zhiye's skirt were almost losing their color, then nodded, and from the nasal cavity There was a "huh" in the mouth.
Hearing the "um", Xia Zhiye raised his head and closed his eyes, trying to stop some kind of liquid from falling.
Then he took a deep breath, smiled and rubbed Song Yan's head: "It's only a year and a half, we still have 60 years and a half in the future, what are we afraid of. And now that technology is so advanced, it's not like a long-distance relationship is the same as a broken relationship." We're connected, we can still play games and chat together, and if it doesn't work, we can write a letter to you by courier, just like Zhou Ziqiu and Shen Jiayan, and they are in an online relationship, and we can also open a voice changer to increase the fun, do you think it makes sense? .”
Song Yan's throat rolled up and down: "Yes."
"Then how tired we are these days, okay? I haven't gotten enough of you yet."
"Ok."
"Then raise your head and show me, okay? We hate brother's face that is so beautiful and natural, it would be a disadvantage if we don't take a second look."
"Fuck you."
Song Yan finally laughed through his tears, kicked Xia Zhiye lightly, and raised his head.
The red and moist corners of the eyes, the corners of the lips that were bleeding red and bleeding, the bright red and gorgeous clothes, the pale complexion, and the fragile and dark eyes without all the camouflage, all came into Xia Zhiye's eyes vividly at the same time.
At that moment he realized that he fell in love with Song Yan earlier than he thought.
Perhaps it was the time when Song Yan changed into his wedding dress that time, he thought for a while, if this was a girl, it would be great to be his bride in the future.
It's a pity that Song Yan is not a girl, but a boy, so he can only be his groom in the future.
But that's okay too.
"Song Yan, we will always be together."
He lightly touched the wound on the corner of Song Yan's lips, and then kissed deeply.
That was the most forceful, most hopeless and most determined kiss of Xia Zhiye in Song Yan's memory when he was a boy.
It seems that they are trying to use this kiss to prove to them that they are young and powerless, even if they have nothing, they will still love each other deeply, to overcome the long years, the distance, the prejudice of the world and the unknown remaining growth path.
So many years later, Song Yan could still recall the sweetness of blood and the saltiness of tears in that kiss.
At that time, he had been wearing the wedding ring with Xia Zhiye's name engraved on it for many years, but whenever he recalled those days, he would always think that there was nothing at that time, why was he so naive and a second-year student? They have full confidence in each other and think that they will always be together forever.
Or maybe those naivety and secondary school are the most moving part of young love.
For example, in the days before they left, they were so naive that they had to wear couple outfits every day and swagger around the campus.
For example, Xia Zhiye was so childish that he bought him 466 mint-flavored lollipops and asked him to eat one every day, and when he said that the candy was gone, he came.
For example, they are so childish that they always hold hands tightly under the desk when they are in class, they always hide in the woods and kiss each other during evening self-study, and they always squeeze together on the extremely small single bed in the 616 dormitory when they sleep. Sleep together.
Another example is that they are so childish that they are inseparable, greasy and crooked, and they are reluctant to close their eyes even late at night, as if they are afraid of losing a glance at each other.
For example, he was so naive that he staged a dramatic and colorful scene at the 110th anniversary celebration of Nanwu No. 3 Middle School.
When Zhu's mother played by Fang Chang asked Liang Shanbo to write a love letter to Zhu Yingtai and was rejected, Zhu's mother threw up her sleeves angrily: "You don't write it? Do you think anger will change your fate with Yingtai?" If you want to blame, blame you for having too many ideas. You are so young and ignorant that you think you can change the people around you if you don’t like it! Think you two can change this era!"[1]
Every word and every sentence, resounding, clearly fell into the ears of Mr. Song, an outstanding alumnus sitting in the first row.
The people under the stage snorted lightly.
The people on the stage were neither humble nor overbearing, and their affection remained unwavering: "I promised him that on the day I reach the crown, I will definitely come to propose marriage. He is interested in me, and I also love him, so the life of my parents is a matter of life and death." , I can’t stop them, even if they can’t be married in life, they will be married in death.”
So the word became a prophecy.
Zhu Yingtai was forced by her parents to wear a red wedding dress and marry Ma Wencai.
Liang Shanbo fell ill from lovesickness and was in plain clothes, and he never saw Zhu Yingtai again until his death.
Zhu Yingtai's sedan chair passed by Liang Shanbo's grave. She was dressed in wedding clothes, but she had no desire to marry. In despair, she touched the stele and fell into a pool of blood.
The lights dimmed, mourning and joy arose, and white petals fell from the sky.
Just wait for the butterfly to be turned into a butterfly, and the curtain will be considered complete.
However, there was a low and gentle voice in the darkness: "Yingtai."
Then the lights came on, the mourning and music stopped, and the white rose petals that should have fallen disappeared.
Xia Zhiye walked out slowly from behind the tomb in a bright red outfit, knelt down in front of Song Yan, and gently stroked his face: "I'm here to pick you up."
His eyes were so gentle that Song Yan couldn't tell whether Liang Shanbo said this sentence to Zhu Yingtai or Xia Zhiye said it to Song Yan for a moment, but felt his throat tightened suddenly.
Xia Zhiye was not affected by his forgetting words, and still smiled softly in a low voice: "I should have returned to Huangquan this time, but the king of hell pityed that I had obsessions in my life, so he let me go back to fulfill my wish. Guess what? What is the obsession?"
"Why?"
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So now I come to ask you to marry me. I am obsessed with it. I don't know if you are still willing."
Xia Zhiye looked extremely good in the Dahong Xipao. When she said this with a gentle smile, Song Yan thought that no one in this world could refuse.
It's like he has no reason not to love Xia Zhiye.
No matter how difficult the road is.
What's more, he also saw the deeply hidden reluctance and sadness in Xia Zhiye's eyes besides the gentle smile.
So he looked into Xia Zhiye's eyes, and said hoarsely, "I am willing."
The chasing light fell on them in the dark, red rose petals fluttered down from the air, and the suona music of the full moon and the flowers rang cheerfully, and they knelt facing each other.
The narration starts.
"A bow to heaven and earth."
Pray they were fortunate to have met each other here.
"Second obeisance to the high hall."
Thanks to their powerlessness in their youth.
"Husband and wife pay their respects."
Believe that we will be together after all.
After the ceremony, the lights dimmed and the curtain ended.
The audience was in an uproar.
The whole house applauded and blessed in good faith.
Because except for a very small number of insiders, all the audience thought that this was just soft-hearted teenagers changing a more happy ending to the poignant legend.
However, only those soft-hearted teenagers understand that a happy ending is just the expectation of cruel reality.
They will eventually separate.
When they played Butterfly Lovers for the first time, they were ignorant teenagers who couldn't see their minds clearly. They just felt that they didn't know love and hate. It was obviously a tragedy, but the performance was full of laughter and everyone was happy.
But now they played Butterfly Lovers again, and truly performed a well-wisher happy ending, but after the curtain ended, they knelt on the ground and refused to get up for a long time.
They turned off the microphone.
Song Yan said: "Xia Zhiye, we may have to say goodbye first."
For the first time, Xia Zhiye didn't come to hug him when he was choked up, but just lowered his head, as if trying to hide something, and said, "Okay."
Song Yan couldn't see his expression clearly, but could only see the Xi character earring on his left ear, which reflected a faint luster under the faintly penetrated light.
Song Yan turned his head away.
He thought, so this is because he never dared to look at Avalokitesvara.