"Axin is back, wash your hands and eat!" "Mom, I got first place in the class in this final exam!" In the hazy memory, my mother's call was so familiar yet unfamiliar.
"My son is awesome! Dad will take you swimming on weekends!" His father always regarded himself as the pride of his life, but Chen Xin could not remember when his father stopped praising him.
"Dad, I want to buy an astronomical telescope. I guarantee that I can get four A's by the end of this semester!" When I was a child, I always yearned for the sky. What was my ideal at that time? astronomer? astronaut? At that time, everyone seemed to think the same thing.
"Son, you should take good care of yourself when you are alone outside, socialize more with classmates in school, and if you don't have enough money, just tell me." I have been admitted to college, and it is the first time in my life that I have left home. My father, who has already turned white on his temples, will A bank card was stuffed into Chen Xin's pocket.
"Hello, I am also from this dormitory. We will be brothers in the same dormitory from now on." Chen Xin can't remember who this is in the dormitory, but it should be the eldest brother, right? The oldest, he always takes care of others.
"A Xin, look at that senior sister, she's so sassy! Don't compete with me, I want to pursue her as my girlfriend!" Senior sister? Chen Xin was impressed by her. He didn't fight with his brother, but he still fell in love.
"Whoever goes to the cafeteria to get food, bring me one! Come on, come on! Get back to point A!" A group of shirtless boys in the dormitory were playing games. There weren't even many laptops at that time. What were they playing? ? It seems to be CS.
"Lights out, stop sending messages to your girlfriend!" Someone was checking the bed outside the door. Chen Xin almost forgot that in their university, lights were not allowed after ten o'clock at night.
"Senior, do you have a girlfriend? If not, can I be your girlfriend?" Is this the first time that a junior girl has confessed to him? Chen Xin has been responsible for welcoming new students every year since his sophomore year. Since he is quite handsome, he has lost count of the number of schoolgirls who have confessed to him.
"Xiao Chen, do you want to form a club with your senior?" Which senior is this? Why can't I remember it
"Let's all sing together! Celebrate the founding of our new club!" When did I form a club
"What song should you sing? I can play the piano to accompany you. There happens to be a piano here." A senior who can play the piano? Why don't I remember
"Can you play that song "Tianya"? That song was very popular a few years ago." Why did I choose this song? As we celebrate the founding of the new club together, shouldn't we sing a more festive song
"Is that a piece adapted from "The Song of Bamboo"? I know it, I have learned the original Japanese version." The senior sister sat in front of the piano, and the bright music played.
However, the strange thing is that the senior sister sang the Japanese version, while Chen Xin himself sang the Chinese version.
However, the two songs use the same tune and the melody is the same, so even though the lyrics are different, Chen Xin and the senior who plays the piano still work well together.
Just as the two were singing together, the alarm clock suddenly sounded, breaking the harmony.
Chen Xin woke up.
Reaching out to grab the mobile phone on the bedside table and turning off the alarm clock, Chen Xin sat up from his bed.
The newly installed ground source heat pump has started working, and the temperature in the shelter has risen again. It is not as cold as it was a few days ago. Chen Xin does not have to huddle in the bed and do a lot of sweat when he gets up every day. Only after the ideological struggle can I get up.
However, even though he woke up, the memories that emerged from his dreams made Chen Xin feel melancholy, making him still immersed in those memories.
Every bit of life with my parents when I was a child, the friendships I had with my classmates, brothers, and friends in school when I grew up, as well as the loving people who appeared in my life...
Memories are beautiful, but also heavy.
However, what Chen Xin cares about most, apart from his parents, is the senior sister who sang with him at the end of the dream.
Strictly speaking, she was not a senior, because she and Chen Xin were in the same grade, but half a year older than Chen Xin, so after getting to know each other, she asked Chen Xin to call her senior all the time.
Recalling the high-spirited self ten years ago, as well as the memorable things he had done in school, and the memorable people, Chen Xin felt like he was being sucked into a huge vortex, and his emotions were constantly flowing. Falling, unable to break free.
After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Chen Xin did not prepare breakfast as usual, but sat on the sofa with a bit of decadence and gloom.
Chen Xin didn't find it strange that he would dream about things in the past. People's dreams are related to what they think. It is normal to think about things day by day and dream about them at night.
But... the people and things in the memories, and the places full of memories, no longer exist, and they can't go back.
Looking at the paper he posted on the wall last night and the goal he set, Chen Xin fell into deep self-doubt. Can he really achieve this goal? Can I really persevere? Does your persistence make sense
Chen Xin is not a person who is easily decadent or depressed, but at this moment he is deeply trapped in self-doubt and denial.
He is doubting his ability, doubting his motivation to persist in living, and doubting his purpose of living...
The end of the world is an environment that puts people under great mental pressure, and it is also a continuous and almost endless stressful environment.
In such an environment, the pressure of survival, spiritual loneliness, and despair without hope for the future...
These emotions are constantly accumulating. Some people have poor tolerance and may soon collapse emotionally. However, even people with strong tolerance can find it difficult to always remain optimistic and positive in such an environment.
Because there is really no reason for people to be optimistic, and there is no future worth looking forward to for people to be positive.
In the past, Chen Xin may have been able to feel less stressed because of the existence of the system. He felt that life would only get better and better, and he could still remain optimistic.
But when he recalled all the past and good things in the past, and compared them with the loneliness, loneliness, darkness, and coldness of the present, the pressure and negative emotions accumulated from the end of the world to the present burst out at this moment, and Chen Xin could no longer persist. Can't stand it anymore.
He is not the Brooklyn boy who can never be defeated, nor is he the kind of Long Aotian who can instantly change his mentality from an ordinary person to one who fights for world supremacy and kills gods and demons after traveling to another world.
Chen Xin is just an ordinary person, an ordinary person who is no different from anyone else. He will cry, be afraid, become decadent, and despair. (End of chapter)