People's memory is very strange. Sometimes the contents that have not been mentioned for a long time and that should be forgotten are suddenly found by a small index.
Just like now.
There was a rare lively atmosphere in the room. Aunt Wu and Wang Jie were cooking in the kitchen, while Xu Hui and Xu Zhenggang were sitting at the table in the dining room.
Xu Zhenggang was reading a newspaper.
Such a picture gave Xu Hui a vague sense of familiarity. When he started to reminisce, he found that the protagonists in the similar picture in his mind were Wang Jie and Xu Yiheng, the mother and son warmly facing each other, driving Xu Zhenggang, who was a little dull, and Xu Hui himself.
How long has it been since Xu Zhenggang came back
It's been almost a year, Xu Hui can't remember clearly.
No one likes to stay in such a home. In recent years, Xu Zhenggang has devoted all his energies to his work. Men are always good at avoiding negative environments and emotions, just like Xu Hui.
When the food was served on the table, Wang Jie and Aunt Wu had good craftsmanship, and the simple home-cooked dishes were also well prepared.
Wang Jie was sitting next to Xu Zhenggang. Aunt Wu was about to leave, but Wang Jie stopped her.
"Sister Wu, let's eat together."
"No, no, no." Aunt Wu quickly waved her hand, "I won't, I'll just eat something in the kitchen."
Wang Jie looked at her, as if seeking support.
"Come and sit, Sister Wu." As she spoke, she looked at Xu Zhenggang.
Xu Zhenggang didn't come home for a long time, so he didn't know what was going on, so he glanced at the housekeeper and said casually, "Okay, let's sit and eat, there are no outsiders."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Aunt Wu said, sitting next to Wang Jie.
It was a dull meal. Xu Zhenggang asked about Wang Jie's family situation, and Wang Jie said in a low voice, "It's all right, everything is fine."
Xu Zhenggang: "Is the money enough?"
Wang Jie: "Enough..."
Xu Zhenggang: "If it's not enough, just tell me."
Wang Jie: "I know."
Xu Zhenggang looked at the listless Wang Jie, and tried to enlighten him: "In a couple of days, you can go out and have fun, it's almost winter, you go travel to the south, relax, don't stay at home every day." Say to Aunt Wu, "If it's boring to go by yourself, find someone to accompany you and buy something."
Aunt Wu touched Wang Jie carefully, "That's fine, go out to see the scenery, and change your mood."
Wang Jie shook her head slowly, "No, I can't leave."
Xu Zhenggang: "Just a few days, not long."
Holding her chopsticks, Wang Jie raised her head and looked squarely at Xu Zhenggang.
"Not even for a few days, not even for a day, if you want to go, go."
Seeing that the atmosphere was not right, Aunt Wu hurriedly smoothed things over, "Then I won't go, you can stay at home." She said to Xu Zhenggang, "My puppy just gave birth recently, and I want to get her one. That dog is so cute. Already!"
Xu Zhenggang didn't know if he heard it clearly, so he nodded casually, and turned to pick up the food. In the blink of an eye, he saw Xu Hui who was sitting opposite him eating, and asked:
"How about you, how is school?"
Xu Hui whispered, "It's okay."
"What about the grades?"
Xu Hui: "That's it."
"Do you want to take the university entrance exam?"
Xu Hui paused, "No test."
Xu Zhenggang sighed, and put down his chopsticks.
"You used to worry about studying so much, why don't you even take the university exam now? Did your grades fall for this?"
Xu Hui remained silent.
Xu Zhenggang added: "Do you have the idea of going abroad? I have a friend who said to do this. If you want to go abroad, I will ask him to prepare for you."
Xu Hui shook his head, "Not going abroad."
"That… "
"Dad." Xu Hui looked up at Xu Zhenggang, "Can you come with me, I have something to tell you."
Xu Zhenggang was taken aback, and Wang Jie also looked over.
Aunt Wu glanced at Wang Jie, and said to Xu Hui, "Let's eat first, your mother has been cooking it for a long time, and it will be cold later."
Xu Zhenggang frowned all the year round, and asked Xu Hui, "What's the matter?"
Xu Hui: "Come with me."
Xu Zhenggang put down his bowl and chopsticks, got up and walked to the second floor, Xu Hui followed.
Aunt Wu also put down her chopsticks and whispered, "It's all over..."
Wang Jie didn't say a word, just lowered her head to eat.
When he came to the study, Xu Zhenggang closed the door, sat on the leather chair, and smoked a cigarette.
Xu Hui got straight to the point, "I want to borrow some money."
Xu Zhenggang's expression remained unchanged, "Borrow money?"
"Ok."
"How much to borrow."
Xu Hui hesitated, "500,000..."
Xu Zhenggang stopped smoking, "Half a million? What do you want so much money for?"
Xu Hui said, "I'm going to live outside."
"You're living outside now, too."
"I just can't come back."
Xu Zhenggang smoked on his own, and Xu Hui said: "I will lend you the money, you can write me an IOU, and I will pay you back within five years."
Xu Zhenggang didn't speak, and after a while, he said amusedly: "I'm not coming back..." He couldn't help cursing: "What the hell is going on with this family?"
Xu Hui lowered his head and looked at the ground.
Xu Zhenggang slapped the table, his voice full of anger. "What did you say you have done in the past few years? You can't study well, read books well, and you can't understand life! How old are you? I have already started to raise a family at your age!"
Xu Hui lowered his eyes, listening to his father's reprimand.
The more Xu Zhenggang said, the more angry he became, "I won't force you if you don't want to study. You should at least take good care of your home and look like a man! Look at you now!" Xu Zhenggang stood up straight away, "Look at this home again, Dad Are you demanding? Do you think I am demanding!?"
Xu Hui suddenly raised his head, with stubbornness in the corners of his eyes.
"It's not that I don't want to!"
Xu Zhenggang: "What is that!? Who won't give you a chance, who won't—"
Halfway through speaking, the door of the study was pushed open with a bang, and Wang Jie stood outside the door, staring at Xu Hui closely with her eyes tearing open.
"Me?" She said softly and tremblingly, "I won't give you a chance, that's what you mean."
Aunt Wu pulled Wang Jie tightly from behind, "Forget it, don't be angry, let's go down."
Wang Jie shook off Aunt Wu, didn't look at Xu Zhenggang, patted her chest, and asked Xu Hui loudly: "Is it me?! Are you saying that I won't give you a chance!?"
"Damn it!" Xu Zhenggang couldn't bear it any longer, picked up an ashtray from the table, and threw it on the ground as if venting his anger, causing the fragments to scatter.
Turn around and leave.
There was a thud when going downstairs, as if he didn't want to stay for a second.
Soon, there was a bang downstairs, and the door closed. People on the second floor heard the sound of cars starting in the yard, but they didn't seem to hear it.
Wang Jie walked over slowly and stood in front of Xu Hui.
Xu Hui was much taller than her. She raised her head and her voice was very soft.
"Xu Hui, you know about my relationship with your father, right?"
Xu Hui turned his head, and Wang Jie didn't give him a chance to escape, "Your father and I are childhood sweethearts. I grew up with him. When he was worthless, I was the one who stayed with him. After getting the money, your mother will join in, get your father drunk and have you."
Xu Hui walked towards the door, but was stopped by Wang Jie.
"When your mother just died, your father said he was afraid that you wouldn't be able to accept it, so I took Xiaoheng to live outside without a name and no share. I didn't marry in until you were in junior high school. Because Xiaoheng didn't have a father, how much grievance he suffered since he was a child , but he never complained. He's so good, he likes you so much, he likes you so much—"
The force on his arm dragged him, Xu Hui said loudly: "Let go!"
Wang Jie's voice became more and more shrill, as if she was dying.
"He likes you so much! How can you have the heart to make you a birthday present after staying up for several days! You can't tolerate us so much! Do we really owe you mother and son, don't you! You say I won't give you a chance, you Have you ever given it to me, I beg you to give us another chance, okay, I'll take Xiaoheng away, we won't come, we won't come again—"
"Let go!"
After all, Xu Hui was a young man, and he was about to rush out after leaving Wang Jie behind.
Aunt Wu was blocking the door, Xu Hui stretched out his hand to dial, and Wang Jie caught him again in an empty moment.
She pulled Xu Hui's body around and faced herself.
He bumped into those aging eyes, and Xu Hui suddenly became frightened from the bottom of his heart.
"I won't forgive you, you ruined our whole life." Wang Jie said word by word, her mouth full of blood, as if she wanted to melt all the power of the rest of her life into these curses.
"As long as you are still a human being, you should go to hell by yourself."
Xu Hui pulled out his arms tremblingly, and Wang Jie said behind him: "You don't deserve to live a good life, you don't deserve..."
Xu Hui strode downstairs, jumped down the last few steps, and slammed open the door. The cold wind poured into his brain, and he felt alive.
There were two obvious ruts on the ground, which were left when Xu Zhenggang left just now.
Xu Hui had long legs, and his strides were unusually large, and he walked out of the community with wind blowing under his feet.
At 6:30 in the evening, it was time to prepare dinner. Walking on the road, you could smell the fragrance of vegetables everywhere.
Pots and pans, firewood, rice, oil and salt, are full of human scenes.
Xu Hui ran away from the community and walked blindly on the street. The cars around me drove by one by one, and everyone hurried to the next destination in a hurry.
It seemed that he was alone, not knowing where he was going.
The woman's voice chased him, echoing in his head over and over again.
"As long as you are still a human being, you should go to hell by yourself."
"You don't deserve a good life..."
"You do not deserve… "
The north wind is blowing, and the sweat is gone.
Xu Hui's scalp was numb.
Looking around, in this noisy and complicated world, for a moment, he could only hear his own breathing.
Taking out the phone, Xu Hui's fingers trembled, and dialed a number very quickly.
He knew that Bai Lu would not answer the phone at this time, but he still couldn't help it.
Listening to the dozen or so uniform sounds until the hang-up, Xu Hui's heart gradually stabilized.
This is the way he found himself, a medicine for calming the nerves, a place of refuge.
He didn't know where this feeling came from, and he didn't want to find out.
In this simple and pure age, nothing needs a reason.
After stopping a taxi, Xu Hui sat in the back seat, watching the street lights and dead trees flashing by outside the window.
The phone is still in the palm of my hand, but I don't hold it as tightly as before.
It was after eight o'clock when he got home, his mind was very confused, he didn't go back to the house right away, changed his clothes and walked back and forth on the small road in front of the house.
Check your watch from time to time.
He was waiting for ten o'clock, when Bai Lu would answer the phone.
Time was unbelievably slow, so Xu Hui grabbed a leaf on the bush and sent it away with a breath.
The night was cold, and the white breath could already be vaguely seen.
Before the leaves hit the ground, a voice came from behind.
"Xu Hui!"
Xu Hui turned his head and saw a boy standing not far behind him.
He walked over, thin and energetic, wearing a dark blue autumn school uniform, with a circular pattern on the right chest, inside which was a flying bird with its head raised.
The school emblem of No.6 Middle School.
"Oh..." When he got closer, Xu Hui recognized him. "Wu Hanwen."
Wu Hanwen came over and smiled at Xu Hui, "Long time no see."
Xu Hui nodded.
Wu Hanwen: "We live close together, but our school hours are different."
Xu Hui chuckled lightly, "Yes."
Wu Hanwen was dazzled by this smile, and his hand holding the schoolbag tightened unconsciously.
He is still the same.
No, he is worse than before.
Xu Hui didn't seem to have anything to say to Wu Hanwen, so he simply greeted him, then raised his hand to look at his watch, turned around and walked in another direction.
He was wearing a dark gray sweater, with a slender and clean back. Wu Hanwen watched him gradually enter the darkness, making decisions quickly in his mind.
His eyes fluttered.
"Xu Hui, I have something to tell you!"
His eyes were still on the raised wrist, he disliked the pointer turning too slowly... Xu Hui stopped at the fork in the path.
Turn around, softly.
"Ok?"