After returning from the trip, Xie Zhi'an was already in poor health, and when he got off the carriage, there was some wind, and when he returned to the Valley of Medicine, the wind and cold came too quickly, and he fell ill all of a sudden.
Drowsy, he felt that he seemed to have dreamed a lot, but he felt that he had dreamed nothing. The sky is full of red, although people's faces can't be seen clearly when they come and go, but they can still feel the joy from them. He didn't feel like when he got married, because he also had some secret joy in his heart.
He seemed to be dreaming of Fu Yuan who was wearing the same wedding dress as him, who was smiling at him and sitting on the eaves with him watching the stars.
What a beautiful dream, when Xie Zhian woke up, he only found his senior sister and his father who looked haggard. Thinking of the dream he had before waking up, he suddenly felt guilty, thinking that he should treat his senior sister well.
He also thought about it, but the wind and cold was like a beginning, his body was getting weaker and weaker, he would often faint, and in the end he couldn't even get out of the room, a little wind could make him terminally ill. As a person who is about to die, seeing his father and senior sister always busy with themselves, worrying and being afraid, I always feel sorry for him.
At first, he thought that even without Fu Yuan, he could still treat ordinary people around the Medical Valley with his senior sister, but now it seems that he can't even save himself.
Fearing that he would be bored in the room alone, his father caught an oriole from somewhere and locked it in a cage and placed it in the house for him to relieve his boredom. But he felt that this oriole was just like him, trapped in one place and unable to leave.
The oriole still chirped at the beginning, but at the end, the chirping sound was a little weak, and it didn't even sound as crisp as before. The sound gradually disappeared, and the bird was sickly in the cage, shaking its head.
Xie Zhi'an couldn't bear to watch it any longer, and while no one was watching, he opened the cage of the oriole, opened the window and let the bird out.
It seems that it has not flown for a long time, and it is a little rusty. The oriole that just fell to the ground flapped its wings again, and flew higher and higher, and finally disappeared into the sky blue.
He also wanted to escape from this cage like the bird.
That night, Xie Zhian contracted the wind and cold again, and the poison in his body also broke out. As his body weakened, the pain caused by the poison became even greater. Even in the end, he felt that he couldn't make it through at all, and his vision when looking at the curtain was blurred.
It seems that he is also like this at any time, the pain is so painful that he almost feels numb, but he feels extraordinarily clear-headed.
He could feel his senior sister's tears and his father's anxiety. He clearly heard every word, every word they said.
He wanted to tell the father who made the medicine to give up on him, he didn't want to be his burden anymore.
Yes, he witnessed his father's black hair gradually covered with silver strands, and his expression became more and more haggard; and the senior sister also gradually lost weight from a young and beautiful girl, and she couldn't see the slightest demeanor on the day of marriage.
All because of him.
He was hanged by all kinds of rare medicinal materials in Yigu, but Xie Zhian couldn't get out of bed now, he could only look at the ceiling curtain, imagining what the starry sky outside the house looks like at this moment.
He didn't know why he thought about it, but the self in his memory always liked to look up at the sky, and for some reason he always looked at the stars, and he didn't know who he wanted to watch with.
As if muddling along, Xie Zhi'an lay on the bed in a daze, listening to those subtle voices day and night, and the same people.
Days like this are too scary.
He also wanted to get out of bed and go out for a walk, but gradually, his legs began to weaken, and finally he was completely unconscious. The dreadful disappearance of the five senses gradually entangled him. When Xie Zhian drank the bitter medicine for a day, the unbearable bitterness of the medicine disappeared completely. He took another sip without giving up, and found that he had really lost his sense of taste.
Throwing the medicine bowl in his hand, he smiled in a crisp voice. The laughter became louder and louder, and finally coughed up blood.
He can't even commit suicide now. Since the last time he had the idea of committing suicide, his father and senior sister took turns to take care of him day and night, for fear that he would go away in the blink of an eye.
He also wanted to cry and make trouble, but they were unmoved, watching him being tormented by a small wind and cold with unbearable expressions.
First taste, then touch. When he suddenly woke up one day, Xie Zhian froze for a long time and groped for a long time. When he wanted to move, he realized that it wasn't just his feet. curtain.
How much like the white cloth of the mourning hall, he even thought about it, if Fu Yuan came back and found that he was gone, wouldn't he feel a little bit of sadness for his friends in his heart
He didn't know, and he didn't think he could know.
His father and senior sister searched all over the medical books, but they couldn't get rid of the poison in his body; the poison spread, and even the disease gradually settled in his body, and it might take his life at any time.
Such days ate away at his spirit, and not long after, Xie Zhian looked thinner than the busy two, his eyes were staring blankly, and his hands and feet were completely shrunk after lying down for a long time When he woke up, his face was extremely pale, his lips were chapped and bloodless.
How can we still see the appearance of Miracle Doctor Xie, who was so beautiful back then.
Even though they knew he couldn't get off the ground, they all removed all the mirrors in his room.
The house with the doors and windows closed was drowsy, and the only thing that could prove that he was alive was the subtle sounds outside the house, the chirping of birds flying low over the eaves, the swaying of the branches in the wind, and the sound of his father and his wife. Senior sister's murmur, or the creaking sound of the door being pushed open... The senior sister walked up to him with a bowl of medicine and called him softly: "Husband, it's time to drink the medicine."
He couldn't see anything, he could only smile at the senior sister according to the direction of the voice: "Okay."
I can't touch it, I can't see it, I can't smell it, I can't taste it... Xie Zhi'an hides in this dark cage, feeling his five senses gradually disappearing day by day, clearly experiencing the feeling of slowly losing vitality.
"Senior sister, I want to see the scenery outside the house, you can help me open the window, will you be okay for a while?"
Although he couldn't see anything, it would be nice to go out and breathe some fresh air.
"Your body is important, you still have a chance."
Does he still have a chance
Xie Zhi'an closed his eyes, and smiled a little dimple, so that the other party couldn't see anything wrong with him. He said, "Okay."
He knew that he had no chance.
This time I couldn't see anything, and next time, I couldn't even hear anything.
When he was a doctor, he had to let people go back when he encountered patients who could not be cured; but now he realized that waiting for the chance to die was really uncomfortable.
The author has something to say:
My homework made me Buddhist, and I was going bald.