This short sentence is like a sharp knife, tearing open the chest cavity and piercing the heart.
Fan Shen held the phone so hard that the knuckles turned white.
The dream will wake up, and the reality that reveals a little head is several times crueler than imagined.
Fan Shen frowned, silently put the phone back where it was, turned and left without making a sound.
Xiao He didn't know about it, he came out of the bathroom, got dressed and went out with the drawing board.
Xiao He took his mobile phone, sent a message to Al, and went to the garden first.
As soon as he set up the drawing board, Al came.
Xiao He was very surprised by his speed, plus he was in a good mood, so he smiled at him and said, "It's so fast."
Seeing him smiling, Al saw that his longing and waiting for the past few days were satisfied at this moment, he couldn't help but soften his eyes, and his fingers moved slightly, and they landed on his shoulder lightly.
Xiao He frowned, and wanted to avoid it, but Ai Er didn't do much, just patted him lightly. This kind of behavior is not considered overstepping even between friends, plus he violated the agreement and agreed to see each other every day, but it was delayed to once every seven days, and Al was not angry, he felt a little guilty, so he endured it up.
It's just that this scene fell into Fan Shen's eyes on the high pavilion, but it was so dazzling that his fingers curled up slightly.
It was Al.
After Fan Shen came here on the first day, he quietly investigated the situation of his mother clan.
His mother had a younger brother named Al who looked exactly like the one in the portrait.
Undoubtedly, what Xiao He likes is his uncle.
Fan Shen knew this, but at the same time he also knew that Aier was dead.
He died unexpectedly five years ago and never came back.
People cannot be resurrected after death, and it is impossible for Al to come back to life, but judging from the current situation, it can only be that he is not dead at all.
Regarding this, Fan Shen was not surprised.
His foundation in the Fan family is not stable, if someone wants to hide it from him, it will be a breeze.
Just why hide it? And who is going to hide it
Fan Shen stared at the man who was almost identical to himself, his eyes filled with gloom.
Ai Er likes Xiao He, and he can tell from that explicit gaze.
Does Xiao He like him
Fan Shen squinted his eyes, resisting the dull pain in his chest.
Not like it, but love it!
Think of that safe, think of those portraits, think of what he kept drawing day and night.
It's all longing, all longing, and all the love that is too strong to dissolve.
Xiao He loves Ai Er deeply, and Fan Shen knows it very well.
But he thought that Al was dead, he was the only one in this world, he was so kind to Xiao He, he loved him so much, as time went by, Xiao He would slowly empathize and fall in love with him.
He and him have a lifetime.
But now... it's all over.
It was impossible for Xiao He to belong to him, and he even lied to him.
Betrayal gnawed at Fan Shen's heart like a poisonous snake, and many details that he didn't think about before became clear, clear, and shocking at this moment.
Seven days ago, Xiao He just became more and more alive and liked him at that time.
At that time, he thought it was a bit abrupt, but he didn't want to think about it because he was too pleasantly surprised, but now when he recalled it, everything became clear.
He is trying to please him.
In order to let him relax his vigilance, he did not hesitate to let him do whatever he wanted, in order to numb him, he did not hesitate to pretend to be enjoying himself, and even more so to meet Al, he even said so many ignorant words.
As Fan Shen recalled slowly, his heart became colder and colder.
He remembered Xiao He's waist injury that time, when Xiao He said it was hit by a drawing board, was it true
At that time, he felt that the black and blue were vaguely like a fingerprint, but because of Xiao He's natural demeanor, and because Xiao He didn't like to get close to people, he quickly dismissed that thought.
Although he also arranged for someone to watch Xiao He a few days after the incident, Xiao He never went out.
But now that I think about it, I feel so absurd and ridiculous.
That's not a drawing board, but Al.
Al held his waist so hard, what was he doing
Thinking of Xiao He getting close to others behind his back, Fan Shen felt his heart burst.
Will he kiss him when he doesn't know it
Does he groan beneath him where he can't see
Was he cuddling with him while he was busy with their future lives
Jealousy and anger were like raging flames, instantly burning his whole body.
It was rare for Fan Shen to have such a big mood swing, but now he was sitting on the high pavilion, his fist hit the railing, and with a bang, the wooden fence shattered into two pieces.
Unable to watch it any longer, Fan Shen got up and strode back to the house.
Xiao He and Ayer get along quite happily.
But after an hour was up, he still let out a sigh of relief.
It's finally over.
Seeing the change in his demeanor, Ai Er felt a little embarrassed, and couldn't help asking, "Do you like Fan Shen?"
Xiao He was startled, but he quickly said, "I like it."
There was a trace of injury in Al's eyes, but then he asked again: "If this is the case, why are you afraid that I will meet him? What is the contradiction in this?"
Xiao He didn't make a sound.
Al said slowly: "If you can tell me, I will leave completely and never show up again, okay?"
Xiao He suddenly raised his head to look at him, with some disbelief in his eyes.
Al, however, saw the surprise in his eyes. He closed his eyes slightly and sighed, "I won't lie to you, and there's no need to lie to you."
Xiao He thought about it, and felt that it was nothing. If it could be done once and for all, it would be great.
After all, it's really not safe for him to meet Al secretly like this. If Fan Shen bumps into him one day, it will be even more difficult to explain.
As for how to say it, Xiao He soon had a draft.
He lowered his head slightly, and said softly: "It's a little embarrassing, but if you want to hear it, I can tell you."
Xiao He took a deep breath, and then said: "I am not a qualified father, or I should say a very trashy father. I raised him from a young age, and I really treated him as a child when I was young, but when Fan Shen slowly Growing up, my feelings for him have changed, and I can’t tell when it happened, but it has changed, but I dare not say it, let alone show it.”
He paused for a moment, then continued: "You know, I love to draw, and I'm pretty good at drawing characters. I often draw some portraits of Fan Shen growing up in my mind. I came and went, and I saved a lot of portraits, until one day Fan Shen His life experience was revealed, and he discovered these portraits, so he misunderstood, thinking that I liked his father."
Xiao He found that he was quite good at making a fuss.
Ai Er's eyes darkened slightly, and he continued, "But Fan Shen's father looks nothing like Fan Shen, but I am exactly the same as him, so you are afraid that he will misunderstand, do you like me?"
"Yes." Xiao He breathed a sigh of relief, "If you meet each other, he will definitely think you are the person in the portrait, and then..."
He didn't go on, but Al added to him on his own: "It turns out that Fan Shen was already suspicious, even if you explained it, he wouldn't believe it, would he?"
Xiao He nodded, then looked at Al with some expectation.
Al looked at his appearance and sighed in his heart. He was always a step late when he met him. It would be fine if he was forcibly plundered, but it would be even more difficult to get that heart.
There is helplessness and regret, but Al is not a person who can't see it: "Okay, I understand."
"Xiao He, goodbye, I won't trouble you anymore, but..." Al smiled slightly at him, "If he treats you badly, you can come to me, and I will wait for you in this life."
Xiao He was startled, then said slowly: "I'm sorry."
Although I am very sorry for Ai Er, Xiao He feels that it is unlikely that Fan Shen will treat him badly in this life, so there is no such possibility.
Saying goodbye to Ai Er, Xiao He completely settled one thing in his mind, and the pace of going back became lighter and happier, and his mood became happier.
He entered the room with a smile on his face, and unexpectedly saw Fan Shen come back, he couldn't help being startled.
And Fan Shen waited for him for a long time, so long that days felt like years.
Xiao He came back, full of vigor and energy, why? Because I met my beloved for an hour.
See, seeing him now, he immediately froze.
The same face, why do they have to be treated differently
Fan Shen smiled lightly, stood up abruptly, hugged him by the waist in just a few steps, and then kissed that ruthless lips fiercely.
Xiao He hasn't recovered yet, he's a little surprised, and hasn't figured out what happened to Fan Shen, but he's in a good mood today, thinking that he can spend time with him every day without any scruples, so he doesn't want to worry too much.
After all, Fan Shen is young, if you want it, you can take it, he will accompany him.
Wrapping his arms around his neck, Xiao He actively responded to his kiss.
If he had done this in the past, Fan Shen would have scruples to slow down, become gentle, and lead him to be lingering together.
But today, feeling his response, Fan Shen's heart felt like being pricked by a needle, and the pain was severe.
Thinking of how he would treat Al like this, and thinking of how he would treat another man with more enthusiasm, Fan Shen's eyes turned dark.
Why can't it belong to him
Why can't it belong to him completely
With such thoughts in mind, Fan Shen didn't let go of him, instead adding a bloody smell to the kiss.
Xiao He finally felt his emotional instability, and he looked at him full of doubts.
Fan Shen didn't give him a chance to think about it, and violently tore off the clothes that were in the way, without any foreplay, without any warmth, and rushed into his body with a strong desire for revenge.
Because of the severe tearing pain, Xiao He suddenly opened his eyes wide.
Fan Shen finally let go of his lips, and he was finally able to make a sound: "Xiao Fan, what's wrong with you?"
Fan Shen kept moving, even though Xiao He's face turned pale, even though there was a bloody smell permeating the air, he couldn't stop the pain in his chest at all, the kind of pain where the heart was torn, crushed and gouged out.
"I've seen it all," he pressed against Xiao He's ear, and whispered in a cold, low, hopeless voice, "You are with Al."
Xiao He felt as if he had fallen into an ice cave.
Fan Shen buried himself in his neck, and continued: "Why lie to me, even if you can't give me anything, but don't lie to me, okay? Give me a little hope, and then push me to hell, is it fun? Even if It's all my fault, but we've been together for eighteen years, why are you being so cruel to me."
Accompanied by desperate words, there is a merciless collision.
But Xiao He couldn't feel the pain in his body anymore, he was completely occupied by the severe pain from his chest.
He couldn't see Fan Shen's face, he couldn't see his demeanor clearly, but just by his voice, he already felt the despair and sadness, and even...a sense of helplessness.
His Fan Shen suffered so much because of him.
Xiao He's body froze suddenly, he hugged Fan Shen recklessly, and said quickly: "No, Xiao Fan, I didn't lie to you, I like you, I really like you!"
He kept confessing, but in Fan Shen's ears, it was just sarcasm and ridicule.
like him? Fan Shen couldn't help biting his neck, why did he still say such things against his will
He likes him, but that's also completely different from him liking him.
How can liking and love be compared
No one knows how much Xiao He loves Al better than him.
I love so much that I can't sleep at night, I miss it every day, I love so much that I have to describe it with a pen, bear it with my heart, and use a long time to keep remembering.
Fan Shen has always understood that he can't capture Xiao He's heart, but at least he can have him.
But now, he will soon have nothing.
Because of despair, fear, and the collapse of his beliefs, his whole body was hovering on the verge of collapse.
"Actually, it doesn't matter." Fan Shen suddenly became gentle. He kissed him, touched him, made him feel comfortable, and then whispered, "It doesn't matter if you love him. You can treat me as him." .”
Xiao He's heart twitched suddenly.
Fan Shen looked at him with a smile, with an expression so gentle that it made people's heart flutter, but there was a hole in his eyes like the abyss of hell.
"Think of me as him, okay? Xiao He, I look exactly like him. I can do whatever he is. I can be like that if you like him. It doesn't matter if you don't love me. Treat me as Is he a hobby? I can be him, you can call me Al, you can imagine me as him, it’s okay, it’s really okay, as long as...you don’t leave me.”
The last sentence has been smudged with inextricable sadness.
Xiao He's heart ached so badly, he burst into tears, hugged Fan Shen vigorously, and said loudly: "No, Fan Shen, I like you, I don't love this Al, he is not him, I love you, only It's you."
"It's not him?" Fan Shen chuckled, "I said so, can't you take me as him?"
"Yes, why do you think I'm him?" Fan Shen's eyes were empty, and his azure eyes were filled with blood, "You have the real him, why do you need me as a fake?"
"Don't say that, please, don't belittle yourself like this." Xiao He couldn't control his emotions, he kept talking, but Fan Shen couldn't hear him at all.
"Since I have no value in existence, why did you raise me up?"
"Since you never liked me, why give me hope?"
"I love you, Xiao He, why can't you belong to me?"
"I only want you, Xiao He, why do you love others?"
Fan Shen stared blankly at the person below him, there was no expression on his delicate face, but there was a strange childish smile in his eyes.
"You're bound to run away."
"As long as you have the strength, you will escape."
"I can't lock you up, so we don't have legs, okay?"
"Wherever you want to go, I can hold you. I'm your leg, okay?"
Fan Shen's tone became more and more gentle, and the smile in his eyes became deeper and deeper, like a child who finally got his favorite toy, the joy was so pure and simple, but it made people feel chills in the bottom of their hearts.
Xiao He realized what he was going to do, and panic was already in his eyes: "No...don't...don't, Xiao Fan, wake up, Xiao Fan, trust me!"
"No?" Fan Shen couldn't hear anything else at all, "Don't you want it?"
There is an undisguised sense of loss and distress on his beautiful face, which is much more moving than his expressionless face, but he is like a demon, seemingly beautiful and harmless, but in fact it is full of poison.
"Yes, you hate me, you don't want to see me, you don't even want to use me as a substitute, Xiao He, you are really the cruelest person in the world, but even so, I still like you."
Fan Shen leaned over and pressed against his chest, listening to the beating heart, suddenly said softly: "It beats so fast and beautifully, but...it just refuses to beat for me."
"Your heart, since it only beats for others, then we don't want it, okay?"
Xiao He's throat tightened suddenly, the last scene flooded into his mind like a flood, his whole body trembled slightly.
Can't go on like this, absolutely can't.
His little fan, the child he raised with his own hands, he couldn't let him suffer like this.
At the last second, Xiao He completely ignored it.
"Fan Shen, I don't care if you believe it or not, but the fact is that Al is you, you are Al, you are the same person from beginning to end! I love only you!"