Eternal Burning

Chapter 35: like a devout believer

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"How's everyone doing recently?" Sister Liao was wearing a light pink woolen dress, smiling as kindly and affectionately as she first saw her, while pouring tea for everyone, while selling a plate of cookies on the table, "I Make it yourself, everyone eats it."

"Aren't Mrs. Li and Brother Zhang coming today?" The anchor wore a pair of ponytails today and wore a pair of silver-frame glasses on her face, which made her look extraordinarily youthful and beautiful.

After Sister Liao poured tea for everyone, she slowly sat down holding her own cup and replied, "Oh, they, they may not come in the future."

"Not coming?" Everyone was a little surprised.

"Mrs. Li's husband has to move abroad due to job transfer, so he can't come. Mr. Zhang's confidence has greatly increased after his hair transplant, and now he is addicted to fitness. He says he wants to work hard to be a handsome man. He has a very positive and optimistic attitude and does not need to come." Liao Sister took a sip of tea and sighed, "They have all graduated."

Several people present looked at each other in dismay, Ning Tianer circled others with his fingers, and finally pointed to himself: "So are we the four of us now?"

Sister Liao nodded and said with a smile on her face, "I hope you both will graduate soon." She touched her jacket pocket, took out two folded pieces of letter paper, unfolded one of them, cleared her throat and said, "Mrs. Li and Zhang The gentleman has left a letter for everyone, I will read it to everyone. First, Mrs. Li's... "

Recently, I was busy packing and moving, and I felt very tired. When I thought about going to an unfamiliar place, I felt all kinds of anxiety in my heart. Before, I would have endured the exhaustion and anxiety to the point of breaking out on my own, but now I've learned to look at things differently.

I was exhausted, but my son and husband were not relaxed, and even had to endure my exhausted tantrums. I have all kinds of anxieties, but is it not strange to my son and husband in a strange place

In the past, I always pursued perfection, wanted a perfect husband, a perfect son, a happy life in fairy tales, and made myself very depressed. Now, instead of being obsessed with "perfection," I accept that I have an imperfect husband, an imperfect son, and realize that I'm actually not perfect.

When you're depressed, everything looks ugly. When I think about it, I can see the scenery everywhere.

I don't know if I will ever meet again in this life. Here, I also want to learn from Mr. Huang, and give you some parting comments - I hope everyone can calmly accept their own imperfections, as well as others' imperfections.

Sister Liao paused for a while before changing to another: "Mrs. Li's is here. Next is Mr. Zhang's..."

Regret, I regret so much, I should have had a hair transplant sooner! Guys, don't hold back if you have money, you can't turn back the years, you want to be beautiful as soon as possible!

"No." Sister Liao folded the letter in half again and sat back on the chair.

Ning Tian'er was the first to laugh, the silver bell-like laughter drove everyone, and after a while, everyone's hearty laughter echoed throughout the gymnasium.

"By the way, tell everyone good news - we are together!" During the laughter, the female anchor suddenly held the white-collar's hand and raised her arm high.

The white-collar smiled naively, scratching his head a little embarrassedly.

After everyone was briefly surprised, they congratulated and were really happy for them.

"Actually, two months ago, I even wrote the suicide note. But Lao Huang is one step ahead of me," the female anchor smiled and her eyes turned a little red, "I think it's quite tiring for you to attend two funerals in a row. I just wanted to wait and talk, but I didn't expect that I would wait for love to come. I can't die at all!" After speaking, he burst into tears and hugged the white-collar beside him.

This was obviously not a sentimental moment, but Ning Tian'er and Sister Liao burst into tears one after another. Even me, there was an indescribable emotion in my heart. Different from any positive emotions and different from any negative emotions, it is like the gray area between the two, which is intriguing.

When I thought that everyone was healthier and more active than me, and not full of sorrow at all, they told me with practical actions that behind the brightly dressed people, there are hidden pains that no one knows; They broke my perception of pessimism time and time again, when tortured to the point of losing joy and unable to cheer up.

I thought life was full of pain and optimism was the biggest lie, but it turned out that it was so easy to change. With just an opportunity, a little courage, and a step forward, a whole new world can be harvested.

Fragile and strong, sensitive and fickle, can live in groups and enjoy being alone, there is no other creature in this world that is more complex and full of unknown charm than humans.

Wiping away her tears, Sister Liao asked me, "Beida, how are you and your fellow?"

"It's good." The atmosphere tonight was so good that even I didn't consciously become positive and optimistic, as if I had no fear. "I'm starting to rehabilitate, and I want to surprise him. Although the beginning is difficult, I will continue effort."

Rehabilitation of the legs is not an overnight improvement, and most of them are boring, repetitive training. In just two days, my palms were blistered, and after puncturing it, I resumed the next day.

In this process, enduring hardships in rehabilitation is not the most important thing, but the most important thing is being able to accept failure. Accept that even with great effort, there may be a psychological gap that you may not see even the slightest change.

"Oh my God..." Sister Liao covered her lips lightly, looking overjoyed.

At this time, the female anchor took the lead and stood up with a cup: "For the first time, I feel that our group is so worthy of the name. Come on, I wish everyone optimistic!"

The others followed and stood up. I couldn't stand, so I had to raise a glass from a distance.

"I wish you all the best!"

I didn't contact Yang Haiyang for a while, but he suddenly called me that day, saying that Yang Youling missed me and wanted me to come over for dinner.

Since dating Shang Muxiao, I really care less about this goddaughter, and I feel ashamed, so I bought a unicorn plush doll as an apology gift to please her.

The little girl liked it very much. She introduced herself to the rabbit doll for the unicorn, and soon told me that the two plush dolls had become good friends.

At the dining table, Yang Haiyang asked me what I was doing recently, but there was always no sound.

I said, "You are busy all day falling in love, and you still say I have no voice?"

Yang Haiyang touched his nose and said with a dry smile: "It's true that I'm busy, but I'm not busy with dating. I've been busy opening a branch recently, and Yunrou is also busy with work. We haven't seen each other for a week, it's just taking time. fall in love."

"Have you met your parents?"

"I see, I just saw you yesterday." Yang Haiyang took a sip of wine with a strange expression, "Her dad is a good talker, but you can clearly feel the estrangement, so... he is not the same kind of person, it is destined to be impossible to tell. together, do you understand?"

Understand, I used to feel the same way about Shang Muxiao.

"Well. What did he say about your marriage with Shang Yunrou?"

"He said that as long as Shang Yunrou was happy, he also said that when he was with Yunrou's mother, he was not favored, but he still insisted on getting married, so he would not interfere in the love of his children."

"That's good."

Shang Lu had no objection, even if Shang Muxiao objected again, it would not be a big deal.

"But their family feels weird." Yang Haiyang continued.

"How to say?"

"Yunrou's stepmother doesn't talk much. We ate. She ate it all by herself and went to the studio to paint by herself. Shang Lu didn't seem to care about her very much.

Hearing Yang Haiyang say this, I'm not surprised. In view of the overly similar faces of the other party and Mei Zixun, whether the starting point of Shang Lu's second marriage is because of "love", there needs to be a question mark.

After returning home from Yang Haiyang's meal, as soon as he entered the door, he saw Shang Muxiao sitting in the living room, with three or four takeaways on the coffee table in front of him, and the foreign movie that he didn't know was playing on the projection screen.

After the winter vacation started, he had no free day, and was pulled by Shang Yunrou to directly work as a nine-to-six office worker in his own company. It was too easy for others to give him a chance to be lazy, and he was not even allowed to reveal his identity as a young master.

So, even on winter vacation, he is busier than me.

"Where have you been?" Shang Muxiao didn't look at me, his mind was on the food in front of him and the movie in front of him, "You've been very busy these days."

Regarding rehabilitation, I didn't tell Shang Muxiao clearly, only told him to go to the hospital for physiotherapy frequently during the winter vacation, which is an annual practice. He didn't know the truth, and he had no doubts.

"Dinner with friends." I took off my scarf and threw it on the sofa. Seeing that all the spicy dishes he ordered were full of red oil, I frowned, "Why is it so spicy?" I had never heard that he liked spicy food before. of.

He swallowed a mouthful of the dish, wiped his mouth with a tissue and said, "I don't have an appetite, have some spicy appetizers."

It's only been a few days, why does it look like I've lost a lot of weight

"are you tired?"

He glanced at me, sat up on his knees, took my hand, leaned down, and gently placed his forehead on the back of my hand, like a devout believer.

Today he was wearing slightly formal work clothes, a white shirt and trousers, and a long gray woolen coat. At this moment, the coat has been thrown aside, the tie is also hanging loosely on the chest, the top two buttons of the shirt collar have been torn open, and the hair that has been fixed for a day by hair wax is still messy and falling to block the eyebrows. He was clearly dressed in sloppy clothes, and putting him in a sloppy manner gave off a somewhat uninhibited taste.

"Tired," he said in a low voice, "I hate being restrained, and I hate my dad."

"Then don't go." I rubbed his head with my other hand, completely messing up his otherwise neat hair.

He was silent, maintaining a posture without moving, and no longer speaking.

At first I thought he was thinking about it, but after a few seconds I realized that my words might be embarrassing him. He hates restraint and Shang Lu is not fake, but he loves Shang Yunrou, which is his only gem, and he is willing to do anything for her that makes him tired and tired.

"How can you not be tired of living..." Shang Muxiao sighed softly, let go of my hand, and lay down on my lap.

I stroked his hair, remembered the egg yolk for no reason, and asked, "When will you return the egg yolk to me?"

Yu Xixi finished the house two days ago. Yesterday, he also took pictures of the dog kennel and dog food bought for the puppy. Although they didn't urge them, it was not good to keep dragging them.

"Wait for the winter vacation."

"Isn't it capable of running and jumping? Why do you want to spend the winter vacation?"

Shang Muxiao was silent.

"...Aren't you, don't want to pay it back?"

"No!" He didn't want to deny it, "how is that possible."

I pinched his earlobe and smiled: "Okay, then I'll go talk to Xixi and send it to her after the winter vacation."

This year's New Year came very early, and in a few days it will be New Year's Eve.

There is no New Year atmosphere in the city, and I don’t have any sense of New Year rituals. In previous years, I had a reunion dinner with my parents and aunts. This year… Since the last meal, I have not been in contact with my parents, and I don’t know. Do they want me to go back for the New Year this time

The day before New Year's Eve, a huge dispute broke out between Shang Muxiao and Shang Lu, so big... He could only come to me to seek vent.

As soon as he entered the door, he picked me up from the wheelchair and went all the way to the bed. Before I could figure out how to get up, he held me down and kissed me roughly.

My body gradually became hot, but the indoor lighting made me unable to immerse myself in it. I struggled when I felt him taking my pants off.

He frowned and straightened, copied his hair, looking very irritable: "Got it, turn off the lights, turn off the lights, okay?" As the voice fell, the lights dimmed.

Due to my first experience, I was a little scared, but fortunately, although Shang Muxiao looked terrifying, he was very careful when he did it, and he never tossed me again and again.

After venting heartily, I saw that he was much calmer, and I asked him what was going on.

Without saying a word, he went to the kitchen to get a cold beer, quickly returned to bed, lit a cigarette and started smoking.

"There is a literary film director, a former friend of my parents, who wants to make a movie about my mother's life." He opened the beer can in the dark room, and the moonlight outside and a little light came in, lining the He was like a painting in the smoke.

"It was nothing, so I just shot it. But the director couldn't find a satisfactory male lead, so he begged my dad and wanted me to play the role. After all, no matter my age or appearance, I look a lot like my dad when he was young. My dad... agreed." His hand trembled slightly while holding the jar, and every word he uttered seemed to cut his vocal cords, causing him to suffer incessantly, "He wants me to play the role of him when he was young, let me Faced with their disgusting love over and over again, let me praise that hypocritical woman who is only cruel to me, without even asking my wishes!"

Unappreciated and unloved before, now lent like a tool. No one will be happy.

I took his trembling hand, removed the beer can, put it aside on the nightstand, then wrapped my arms around his body and stroked his back gently.

"Okay, we won't act, and no one will persuade us to act. No one can force you to do what you don't like to do, and no one can."

Different from my gentle movements, Shang Muxiao tightened his arms little by little, like a giant python that was about to strangle its prey.