At eight o'clock in the morning, Shang Muxiao was waiting by my car on time.
"Come on, open your mouth." As soon as he got in the car, through the plastic bag, he handed a steaming meat bun in front of me.
I leaned back and said politely, "I've eaten it."
He didn't stop, and even sent it to my mouth again, insisting: "It's delicious, you can taste it."
Everything that happened yesterday is vivid in my mind, from Yin Nuo's apology to me to the evening when I found out that Representative Xiao was Shang Muxiao.
Others are easy to say, not too bizarre, but Xiao represents this matter... It is beyond my imagination.
I don't understand, how could he be Shang Muxiao? How could he be Shang Muxiao
If it wasn't too late yesterday, I would have wanted to call Tang Yuan immediately and ask clearly what this free exoskeleton device had to do with Shang Muxiao.
After tossing and turning all night, sleeping intermittently, I almost didn't get up this morning.
I really couldn't refuse, so I had to bite into the meat bun with Shang Muxiao's hand. The outer skin was soft and the filling was delicious and juicy. It was really delicious.
"It's delicious." Satisfied, he took another big bite at the place where I had bitten, "I found out by accident, this is the best bun shop nearby."
I took out my phone and gave it to him, saying, "I left my house last night."
He glanced at it, took it, and said, "Oh, I thought it fell on the wedding scene yesterday."
"Have you brought your card? Give me the card number, or take a picture and send it to me."
He bit the bun and replied without any pause: "Forget it, I'll give it to you tomorrow."
This set again
I started the car, and I didn't speak again.
Monday morning was jam-packed everywhere, stop-and-go, and drowsy. Turn on the radio, and the male anchor's cheerful and energetic voice can be heard from the stereo.
"Welcome to "Hello, Morning!". Every morning, we will select some questions from the listeners' mailboxes to read out to you, and then seek your opinions. The first letter today is like this. A Miss Mao said: ' During Chinese New Year, my boyfriend and I broke up because of a little conflict. After we broke up, I missed him a lot, but I couldn’t bring myself to look for him. I’m not sure if he thinks the same as me. Should I? Going to get back with him? I hope everyone can give me some advice.'”
"Since you miss him, let's get back together..." Shang Muxiao said while nibbling on the buns.
I turned on the radio mainly because I wanted a little sound that would not make me sleepy. Even if I had heard what the anchor said, I didn’t think much about the content. So when Shang Muxiao suddenly expressed his opinion, I took some time to recall the anchor's words.
The front was blocked, and I took time to glance at the man beside me. He looks righteous and doesn't think there is any problem with his words at all, as if the person who kept saying a few months ago, "If you're not happy, you must leave the company decisively, and it will only cause pain if you are constantly broken". .
"Let's see what other listeners think... One Mr. Wang said: 'Since the man didn't take the initiative to seek reconciliation, most of them didn't want to reconcile, so don't go to the other party, so as not to be hurt twice'."
Shang Muxiao's eating action stopped, and his chewing speed slowed down.
"One Miss Lina said: 'The man has not expressed a word for a few months, maybe he has a new object, not very optimistic about it'."
Shang Muxiao was completely motionless, staring at the radio, wishing he could ignite it with his eyes.
"Miss Chen said: 'It's better to create a chance encounter first, or think of another way to reconnect the two. If the other party lacks interest, there is no need to rush to find it.'"
The car in front gradually moved, and I quickly switched to another frequency band. When I heard a pop song, I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.
When I got to the school, because my department and I were in two directions, I dropped him at the nearest intersection.
Before I left, I told him that he had better not miss classes again, otherwise my electives this semester would still fail.
He held on to the car door and laughed wantonly: "Hang it up, I don't plan to go in again..."
I was taken aback for a moment, thinking that he was no longer taking my class, and immediately scolded him for his bad attitude.
“…I may be withdrawing from school.”
As a result, the words hadn't come out yet, and they were all blocked by his next sentence.
I parted my lips slightly, not knowing how to react.
Since yesterday, one after another, when is it a head
"Are you saying that again?" I hoped that I had misunderstood him, even if it was very unlikely.
Shang Muxiao explained: "Not long ago, a professional motorcycle team found me and handed me an olive branch, hoping I could join them. I don't like finance, and I don't plan to inherit my dad's company..." sarcastically, "Of course, he may not have this plan either. I want to do what I like, what I really like."
"Really... something you like?"
The morning light was just right, and the warm morning sun shone on him, dyeing his hair golden brown.
"Well, I don't want to live for others anymore." A breeze blew, and he smiled brighter than the sun. "In the future, I will live for myself."
I watched his back gradually fade away, my heart was in a mess, and I couldn't figure out what to do.
He is still a year away from graduating, but he has to give up his degree at this time to pursue what he really likes... I don't know what Shang Lu and Shang Yunrou will think, but I...
Wait, I stopped just in time.
Why have me? I shouldn't be here.
If I were his professional teacher, I should feel sorry for him and try to persuade him to pursue his dreams after finishing school. But I'm just his elective teacher, he didn't even get a credit from me, what qualifications do I have to judge this
Even if we haven't broken up yet, as a lover, I shouldn't stop him from doing what he likes, just as I wouldn't want him to persuade me to give up philosophy.
Some things are not above any emotion, but they are equally important in life. Emotions are blood, they are flesh and blood, supporting the framework of life.
I got out of the car with a lot of thought, and when I looked up, I saw Yu Xixi standing not far away.
When she met my gaze, she trotted over for a while and greeted me, "Brother Bei, good morning."
"Morning. What are you looking at?"
Yu Xixi retracted his gaze and said, "Look at the handsome guy, brother Bei, do you live with Shang Muxiao?"
I paused and said, "No, we don't live together. He lives in the same community with me now, and he just took him along the way."
She nodded, "Oh."
We walked side by side on the Wutong Avenue. When winter came to spring, the bare branches of the Wutong grew green leaves again, and the canopies on both sides were almost connected.
Fragments of sunlight leaked from the gaps in the leaves, swaying gently with the breeze.
"The most peculiar weakness of human nature is to care about how others view oneself. Everything, existence is reasonable, and reasonableness is fact." Yu Xixi finished reading softly, hurried forward with the handout, and ran into the teaching building in a hurry.
I stopped in astonishment, unable to describe how I felt at this moment.
Yu Xixi's first sentence comes from Schopenhauer, and the last sentence is from Hegel. If she discussed these two sentences with me from a philosophical point of view as usual, I would not have any doubts, but she fled after throwing these two sentences away, showing that it was unusual.
She didn't mean to discuss with me, she said this to me on purpose. She specifically told me to tell me not to care about other people's opinions and to tell me that everything exists is reasonable.
At this point, I can't fool myself that she doesn't know anything about my sexuality.
She got it.
Knowing about me and Shang Muxiao, and knowing my sexuality.
Maybe I already knew it, but I just kept trying to pretend I didn't know. Today I really can't stand my clumsy cover up, so I want to break it.
this girl...
I burst out laughing and kept walking forward.
All morning, Yu Xixi didn't dare to look at me when talking to me, more like a person whose secrets were revealed than me.
"Yes, I'm lying."
Yu Xixi raised her head in surprise and stared at me blankly.
When the class bell rang, I pointed to the back of the classroom and asked her to sit there.
"I'm lying", this is Russell's classic paradox, just by discussing this issue, we can talk about Kant's "thing-in-itself" theory from the antinomy. But just as Yu Xixi communicated her own ideas through Schopenhauer and Hegel, I was just responding to her by borrowing Russell—yes, I was lying. I was born different, but I tried so hard to hide the difference. I lied, every second, to everyone.
"Brother Bei, you are the best!" Yu Xixi gave me a thumbs-up tacitly and ran away happily.
[There are spare batteries, 400,000 yuan.]
Representative Xiao returned my message.
[Do you want it? can i give you a discount?]
Staring at those two lines of words, I was a little dumbfounded.
You give me a discount, what do you use to give me a discount? I didn't reply to him and just exited the app.
There were classes in the morning, and I didn't have time to call Tang Yuan. Now that I finally had time, I called him.
"Hello? Beidou, what's the matter?" He was probably eating, and there was some noise around him.
I asked straight to the point: "What the hell is going on with my exoskeleton?"
After a moment of silence, you could hear the sound of small movements. After a while, Tang Yuan spoke again, and the environment was much quieter.
"You know all about it?"
"Yeah." I fooled him, "Shang Muxiao said it all."
"Then you still ask me."
"He wouldn't go into too much detail."
"Hey, the two of you..." Tang Yuan sighed, "Why do you have to make it so complicated? It's just that he wants to give you a set of exoskeletons, but he's afraid that you won't want it, so he cooperated with me to spread one. A white lie, lying to you that there is a set of free exoskeletons for you, but in fact there is no one at all."
Although I was prepared, I was still a little dizzy when I actually heard what came out of Tang Yuan's mouth.
No wonder Shang Muxiao cares so much about who I lend the money to...
Recalling his strange words and deeds after drinking last night, I asked nervously, "Then does he know the reason for my rehabilitation?"
"The reason? Are you talking about dancing?" Tang Yuan didn't give me any leeway, "I know, I told him. He said that he is a rich second-generation who admires your academic style, and is very willing to provide you with a set of foreign languages for free. Bone equipment, I hope I can keep it a secret from you. I just told him that Arabidopsis rehabilitated hard, and my hands are blistered, just to dance for a minute with the person he likes. What is this? This is Absolutely amazing love!"
"… "
I closed my eyes and said, "Well, I'm moved, I'm so moved."