The reason why Gu Ye was so surprised was that Weibo officially announced a list detailing the most influential people in the internet celebrity world last year. There were ten people on the list, and one of them was Gu Ye. The other party warmly invited him to attend the award ceremony. This is a grand event attended by all fields and all social classes. Once a year, all Internet celebrities are selected, or people who have outstanding performance and have contributed to society. Let Netizens were inspired and educated by the winners. There are many businessmen, celebrities and other figures among them.
Gu Ye's first reaction was that it was true or false? He must be a liar! When did he admit that he was an internet celebrity
He clicked in and took a look, and it turned out to be an officially certified large size. Gu Ye was immediately amused and called out to Yu Ze who was watching the news, "Yu Ze, Yu Ze, Weibo actually asked me to receive the award. They hired a fortune teller to receive the award. How crazy!"
Yu Ze said dotingly: "You can go if you want, just have fun."
"No, the point is that they hired a fortune teller. Don't you think it's amazing?" The more Gu Ye thought about it, the more he felt happy, "No, I have to find out what's going on."
Yu Ze ignored him and watched him struggle.
"Second brother, have you read the list on Weibo? The most influential person in the Internet celebrity world is me!"
Gu Lin was amused by his child's excitement of discovering a new toy. He smiled and said, "Look, you, a master fortune teller, can be on this list. It shows your influence on the Internet now. You have too many fans. , It’s growing so fast, I guess this news may become a hot search topic.”
Gu Ye encouraged, "Brother, go and find out. I'm particularly curious about what they think."
To be honest, Gu Lin was also quite curious, so he went to ask for inside information, and soon he replied to Gu Ye: "You participated in the selection last year because you were just a fortune teller and had no contribution, so you were cut off in the end. This time, because you have done so many good things and promoted moral civilization through the live broadcast, I gave you the award."
"Pfft! Well, it turned out to be like this. I thought they were crazy." Gu Ye said regretfully: "It's not fun at all."
Gu Lin: "As a co-author, you only think it's fun when people are crazy?"
Gu Ye said seriously: "There must be a normal reason."
"Isn't this a normal reason?"
Gu Ye shook his head, "This reason is not strange enough."
"Go and play!" Gu Lin said these words. No matter what Gu Ye said, he didn't even reply to his message. Gu Ye shook his phone and showed it to Yu Ze, "My second brother is like a child now. If you say you don't care, you don't care. How can you say that they are brothers?"
Yu Ze thought for a while and said seriously: "They don't act like brothers."
Gu Ye slapped the table happily, "I just like how you don't know what's right and wrong, you're so handsome!"
Yu Ze held his head, he seemed to be getting more and more out of control, this sign was not good.
Gu Ye was comforted by Yu Ze and looked at Weibo again happily. By the way, he reposted the Weibo that summarized the deception of the old man. Now this Weibo has been on the hot search, but the location is not good, it is very low. Gu Ye decided to push it, and after forwarding it, he told everyone: Take good care of your parents, be careful of being deceived, and go home often.
Soon, Gu Ye's Weibo went viral. Gu Ye's fans were not only young people, but also adults. The older they were, the more they believed in the theory of Feng Shui. People of this age have elderly people at home, and many of them have personally experienced this kind of deceiving the elderly. After seeing the Weibo post forwarded by Gu Ye, everyone left messages: Please be careful, this liar is so hateful!
This happened to my dad too! I was defrauded of tens of thousands, so angry!
These health products are not that effective, and it is even more nonsense to treat cancer.
The targets of these people are more empty nesters, because people with children at home often stare at them, and they can't buy it even if they want to. Paying more attention to them can greatly reduce the chance of the elderly buying this thing.
The elderly at home may not buy health care products as exaggeratedly as 3,500 yuan a bottle. Some of them only sell for a few hundred a bottle. I can’t help but buy them often at home. My mother bought my dad 2 taels or 800 yuan for the tea to treat hair loss. It smells like ordinary oolong tea.
Just two days ago, there was a fairy water that could cure all kinds of diseases on the Internet. Reporters revealed that it was actually mineral water. Don't know why they believe it. Now they have come up with this kind of straw mat. It costs ninety-nine and nine dollars a piece. Buy one and get one free during events! God damn, there are more than three thousand!
My parents also buy health care products. They buy them when they can’t see it. Not letting him buy them is like hurting him. I don’t know why I believe this, but I am worried to death.
When people are old or sick, they should go to the hospital. Don't be greedy for petty gains. How can there be a cure-all medicine? All the money spent is IQ tax!
If you have elderly people at home, go back often and take a look. You might be deceived one day without even knowing it. Those who sell these things are so unscrupulous. Aren't you afraid of retribution for cheating old people out of their money
There are also micro-businesses selling health care products in the circle of friends. The sellers are relatives and friends. After checking the ingredients, they are all preservatives, okay? Is it true that nothing will happen if you eat it
Let me give you an idea. If your parents buy health products again, buy him some vitamin tablets, calcium tablets, Panax notoginseng powder, etc. to fool him. Don’t let him buy it by himself! You will really be cheated!
I have a college classmate who was tricked into doing this after graduation. They are also trained in psychology to teach them how to deceive people. It’s terrible.
The police did a good job catching them. This whole bunch of people are waiting to be taken to court for you to lie to others!
Gu Ye saw a netizen named "Cucumber, Cucumber, Not Melon" summed it up well: "I have summarized the tricks to deceive the elderly. There are at least seven steps. Step by step, the trick can be made to make the elderly who are usually reluctant to spend money willing to spend money. . First, I will give you things and let these idle old people attend the class for a few eggs, firewood, rice, oil and salt. The second step is to invite you to attend the class for free in the name of charity and find an expert who looks decent. It is to pave the way for the future. The third step is to use high-tech means to deceive you. No matter whether you are sick or not, as long as you go there, you will be sick. It can also detect all the ailments in your body, and you will be in trouble if they are not treated.
The fourth step is to praise their products vigorously. Elderly people have some problems such as high blood pressure and high blood lipids. They must boast that Haikou can cure all diseases and the price is much cheaper than treatment in the hospital. These are all benefits, not takeaways. of. If it doesn't work, they will guarantee a refund and sign a series of contracts with you. Anyway, the elderly people look real and very formal.
The fifth step is to find a few people to show up pretending to be patients, tell them directly how good they are, and act in such a way that you won't even believe it. The sixth step is to register the information of the elderly and greet them, especially the empty-nest elderly. Go to the house to help the elderly get water, give them a meal, and try to get close to them. The old man's heart that cannot see his children is finally soothed, even if the flowers are spent. I am willing to pay even a little money, so that I get deeper and deeper into it.
What if he still doesn't buy it at this point? Then take the seventh step, take him on a trip, fool him to a place where his children can't see him, and serve him well like a grandparent. As long as he pays for it, he can have any kind of grandson he wants.
There is another way to defraud the elderly to raise funds. Don’t you have insurance money? Do you want to live off interest alone? We provide this method here. You take the money and we will give you dividends. We will give you 10% interest every month. This is a disguised form of illegal fund-raising. We will keep setting traps for you, making you fall deeper and deeper into want. You have to keep investing money to get your money back. What's even more bastard is to trap the old man's money into your hands. Do you want to find it again? Ah! It’s already time to fuck Yazi Dian’er!
In short, let the elderly remember the three no’s: ignore them, don’t remit money, and don’t transfer money! "
Gu Ye saw that this person summarized it well, so he forwarded it and liked it.
He was thinking about what lessons this incident could teach people and how he would talk about it during the live broadcast. Now it seems that there is no need to talk about it.
The row of people at the bottom followed it like crazy and retweeted it, liked it, and left messages to the person who summarized it: Congratulations, you are now Master Gu’s royal class representative! It’s summed up very beautifully! Cucumbers are not melons. To sum up, they are awesome!
Gu Ye wanted to laugh when he saw these interesting messages. These netizens were so interesting.
——
After Weibo posted the invite list, it was waiting for the Weibo to become a hot search topic, and was carefully and slowly controlling it. Unexpectedly, the Weibo about health products for the elderly ended up with Sitting The speed of the rocket soared upwards, and at first glance, I realized that it was Gu Ye's fans who pushed it up.
Gu Ye's current traffic is as high as that of an A-list star. He reposted a Weibo post so seriously, which naturally attracted the attention of many people. There are also many passers-by who pay attention to current affairs, and they will also pay attention to such things. People discuss it more, and in a short time This Weibo post became the number one trending search topic. When the official Weibo staff saw Gu Ye's reaction, they were a little unsure, "Why didn't Gu Ye forward us, but instead forwarded the news? Does he look down on our award?"
When the staff member said this, the colleague who was in charge of this matter looked at the others and felt unsure, "Other celebrities and big Vs have retweeted it. Only Gu Ye has not retweeted it. Does he want this award?" ah?"
At this time, they felt a little regretful. They should have said hello to Gu Ye in advance and asked him if he wanted the award. Now that the list had been sent out, it would be very embarrassing for them if the other party did not come to receive the award. After thinking about it, I felt uneasy, so the two of them discussed it, "Why don't you ask around?"
"Who can I ask about?"
"Mr. Gu."
"Which Mr. Gu?"
Indeed, there are three Mr. Gu in the Gu family, each one more powerful than the other. "Let's ask someone from Gu Lin Company?"
"Anyone from his company can have a relationship with Gu Ye, unless he is an A-list celebrity, we can't talk to him." The two of them had no choice but to report it.
After receiving the news, the superiors were heartbroken. They had to find several connections before asking Gu Lin's secretary. After the secretary asked Gu Lin, Gu Lin smiled and said, "If it's fun there, he will definitely go. I asked Just ask."
Gu Lin took the initiative to send a message to Gu Ye, and Gu Ye settled an old score: "You ignored me last night."
Gu Lin called directly and said disgustedly: "What kind of temperament are you having? Speak up!"
The corner of Gu Ye's mouth twitched. Today, the second brother's majesty is 2.8 meters. He said obediently: "Okay, brother, whatever you say is right."
Gu Lin said helplessly: "Don't do this with me. Brother will eat it, but I won't. Guanbo wants to know if you are going to participate."
Gu Ye thought for a while and said, "Go ahead. I've been invited. It's not a good idea not to go. Are there many beautiful young brothers and sisters there?"
Gu Lin couldn't help laughing, "The last sentence is the key point, isn't Yu Ze by your side now?"
Gu Ye chuckled and said, "We're off to the meeting."
Gu Lin scorned, "If Yu Ze were here, you wouldn't dare to say this. I'll go there too, and I'll take you with me."
"ah?"
"Ah what? The entertainment industry and Weibo are inseparable. They invited me to be a guest and give awards, and many celebrities participated."
Gu Ye thought about the scene and said with interest: "Then let's go together, you take me. Brother, if you remind me in advance, I won't remember the date."
Gu Lin was speechless, "Can I pamper you like this?"
Gu Ye said seriously: "Brother, I'm still young."
Gu Lin couldn't laugh or cry, "Yu Ze has spoiled you so badly."
Gu Ye thought for a while, did Yu Ze spoil him? Yu Ze is just a little unprincipled. The so-called habitual behavior means that he doesn't distinguish between right and wrong. Yu Ze definitely doesn't!
After hanging up the phone, Gu Ye forwarded the official Weibo post: Thank you ~ It looks very interesting.
This reassured the people over there. Gu Ye's intention seemed to come. Many celebrities said congratulations to Gu Ye. See you that night. It seemed like they would go too. Gu Ye took a look and saw that so many celebrities looked familiar to him, but it was a pity that he didn't know many of them.
After quitting Weibo, Gu Ye went to read the book that Mr. Tang gave him. Recently, he studied a new formation. The previous formation was Gu Ye's shortcoming. In Mr. Tang's information, there are many records of formation layout. Gu Ye began to study methods and techniques, and would later teach them to Xie Cheng, a person who didn't like to use his brain. Time was precious to him.
Gu Ye didn't expect that not long after, he would appear in the hot search.
A fortune teller wants to receive the Internet celebrity award, and netizens only have three words to comment: Ha, ha, ha!
——
After the old lady's case was over, Gu Ye met the old lady again one night. She came specially to tell him: "I received a notice from above that I am going to reincarnate. Before I leave, I'm here to say goodbye to you. "
Gu Ye looked at the causal line on her face and asked with a smile: "Do you know why you couldn't reincarnate before?"
The old lady said blankly: "I don't know."
Gu Ye explained with good temper: "Because you were deceived, the cause and effect has not been resolved, so you can't reincarnate. Now that they have been caught and got their due retribution, you can reincarnate."
The old lady is still in disbelief, "Am I really being cheated?"
Gu Ye was helpless. The old lady hadn't reacted yet. "Yes, that's not true. The police have already announced the news." Gu Ye showed the information released by the police to the old lady. "They are all going to be taken to court. This Believe it or not.”
Only then did the old lady react and sighed with a complex expression, "What's the point of lying to me, an old woman?"
"I'm just cheating you out of your money. Did you get all the pocket money your son and daughter-in-law gave you?"
The old lady was silent, her face becoming more and more complicated.
Gu Ye smiled and seemed to know how he died. Gu Ye smiled and said, "Let's go and be reincarnated."
The old lady thought for a while, and her face gradually became serious. "I can't leave now. I will return the money to others."
Gu Ye paused and said with a smile, "Okay."
The old lady returned Gu Ye's money first, with a serious look on her face, "I can't lie to people, this is the money for your eleven cushions."
Gu Ye smiled and took it away. He looked at the coin and sighed, "Okay, don't delay your reincarnation."
The old lady said with a smile: "No, there is still one month."
Gu Ye waved his hand, "Grandma, goodbye!"
The old lady disappeared into the night and was busy looking for a refund from her previous customer. Gu Ye returned to the living room, offered incense to the Lord of Hell, and said seriously: "The ghost world has run out of supply. The cushion in your hand is out of print and is extremely valuable. Are you happy?"
The smoke circled around Gu Ye several times, and Gu Ye looked moved, "I'm so filial!"
Gu Ye had another dream at night. He dreamed that someone was chasing him and he was running on a dark road. In the dream, he was not only not afraid, but also quite happy. He didn't know who was chasing him. Anyway, he had a thought in his heart: If he swears not to go back, he will never go back. go back!
Finally running to a lighted door, Gu Ye rushed over without looking back. The person behind threw something angrily, hit Gu Ye on the head, and shouted something. The distance was too far, and Gu Ye couldn't hear it clearly. Opening his eyes and looking at the dark night, Gu Ye sat up with a confused look on his face and touched the back of his head. He felt a little pain in the back of his head for no reason.
Yu Ze also sat up, "What's wrong? Are you having a nightmare?"
Gu Ye scratched his head, "It's not a nightmare, I don't know what it is."
He hugged Yu Ze, pushed him down, and lay down side by side, "It seemed like someone told me to go somewhere, and I didn't want to go, so that person hit me on the head and seemed to scold me. But he couldn't run as fast as me and couldn't catch up. I."
Yu Ze hugged him and comforted him, "The dreams are all fake, go on to sleep."
Gu Ye grabbed Yu Ze's hand and pushed it to the side, "Stay away from me, it's so stressful."
After saying that, he closed his eyes and fell asleep, sleeping very soundly.
Yu Ze waited for him to fall asleep, then leaned over and hugged him tightly again.
——
The next day, Gu Ye went home. He also wanted to take time to spend time with his parents. Just in time, his dad went out. Dad Gu was dressed very casually. Now that the weather is getting warmer, he could just wear a sweater and a coat and go out. Gu Ye asked: "Dad, where are you going?"
Dad Gu was in a good mood, "I made an appointment with your Uncle Wang to play ball together."
Gu Ye asked flatteringly: "Shall I go with you? Golf or table tennis?"
"Golf, can you?"
"No, I just want to learn from you," Gu Ye said with a smile, "Shall I drive you?"
The corners of Dad Gu's lips curled up, and he said with disdain: "I won't take your car, it's too fancy." At this time, Dad Gu's full-time driver drove over and said, "Get in the car."
Perhaps because he was getting older, he wanted to be close to his children. Dad Gu took his son out to play for the first time. He felt quite happy. On the way, he asked Gu Ye: "Why do you think of going out with me? What's the matter?"
Gu Ye said dissatisfied: "Can't I play with you if I have nothing to do? I like parent-child games."
Father Gu couldn't laugh or cry when he saw that he was still a parent at such an old age, "He's naughty again!"
Gu Ye smiled and said: "Dad, look, it's good for me not to work in the company. I can play with you. I'll stay with you today, and I'll go find my mother tomorrow."
Dad Gu smiled and said, "Be careful of your mother taking you to work as a model."
Gu Ye grinned, "My mother can't be so stingy, right? She hires celebrities to endorse her, and she asks my second brother for someone."
Dad Gu said helplessly: "She's embarrassed."
Gu Ye smiled and said, "That's right. I'll tell my second brother later."
This golf course was Gu Sen's birthday gift to Gu's father. It happened to be close to the land they bought. Gu Ye took a special look at it on the way and nodded secretly. Dad has a good eye and can see the smell of the land. It turns out to be a land of fortune. In the future, if the feng shui changes slightly, we will become rich and wealthy. It’s all money!
Not long after the father and son got out of the car, Uncle Wang came. When he saw Gu Ye who was following Gu's father, Uncle Wang joked: "Bring your eldest nephew to play with you?"
Dad Gu said disgustedly: "Yes, I have to come with you."
Although he said he was disgusted, it could actually be seen that Father Gu was quite happy. Uncle Wang smiled and teased: "Isn't it okay if the child is willing to follow you? I would like to take him, but no one will come with me."
Gu Ye said politely: "Hello, Uncle Wang!"
"Okay, you've grown so much in the blink of an eye. The last time I saw you, you were still a high school student, and you're getting more and more handsome."
Gu Ye thought to himself, when did he meet this uncle, and why did he forget it again
The two old friends exchanged a few words and then started to play ball. Gu Ye smiled and said: "You guys play first, and I will watch you play and learn from it."
Gu Ye watched the beating for a while, then brought water to his father, and also brought a glass to Uncle Wang. Uncle Wang suddenly looked at Father Gu with an envious look, "Eldest nephew, you said at that time that it would take three years for me to retire. is that true?"
Gu Ye was stunned for a moment, and finally remembered where he had met Uncle Wang. The other party had asked him about it, and he said it as if it was a joke. At that time, his father said that his calculations were inaccurate. Soon, the son of that family said he couldn't come back, and his father called him a crow's mouth. From that time on, Gu Ye understood that creatures like his father were unreasonable. Gu Ye smiled and said, "Yeah, I'll be back soon."
"I hope so." When Uncle Wang heard this, he had a smile on his face, but his eyes were complicated, "I just hope that one day he will be like your elder brother and come back to take over and let me rest."
Gu Ye smiled and said: "It's really coming soon. Don't worry, you will be able to play ball with my dad soon. You can come out to play whenever you want."
Gu Ye could tell that Uncle Wang didn't have a good relationship with his son when he was young. Maybe this was the reason why his son didn't come back. But after all, they are father and son. If the son is filial, he will not make his old father so tired. Uncle Wang's son was really coming back soon, and he didn't try to coax anyone.
Uncle Wang was still coaxed into laughing by Gu Ye, and kept praising: "Old Gu, you are lucky to have such a precious son. He is so good at talking, why can't he make you laugh every day?"
Dad Gu said with disgust: "He makes me jump around every day."
"Yes," Gu Ye said seriously: "My dad is very cute when he dances."
Father Gu's face turned red when he was told that, and he wanted to spank his child again. Gu Ye quickly coaxed him: "I'm just teasing you. I want to spank him again when I get home."
Seeing that he was so tall now and in his twenties, Father Gu couldn't laugh or cry, "Why are you so naughty?" Although he said he was disgusted, Father Gu still gave the club to Gu Ye, "Go and hit two balls?"
Gu Ye took the club and said, "Okay."
"After watching this for a while, how are you learning? Do you understand?"
Gu Ye nodded, "It's almost the same, but this thing definitely requires skills."
Dad Gu stood up and said, "Let's go, I'll teach you."
Gu Ye walked over and gestured, "Is that so?"
Dad Gu smiled, "I learned the posture well, so I just tricked the little girl. Use this hand hard and walk one step at a time."
"Let's go!" Gu Ye hit the ball with force and made Gu's father amused. "Practice hard."
Gu Ye said with a smile: "It seems quite simple. Sure enough, everything has skills. You can't do it without practice."
"That's right, you still have a lot to learn," Dad Gu said in a good mood, "I'll take you with me next time I come here."
"Okay." Gu Ye nodded with a smile and waved a few times. Dad Gu sat aside and watched. He couldn't help but take out his phone and take pictures.
He also saw many friends posting on WeChat Moments, showing off this and that. Dad Gu had never shown off anything before. This time, in the envious eyes of his old friends, he didn’t know what was at play, and said with a sullen face. In the circle of friends, there are only three words: stupid little duck.
Father Gu finished his post, his face was slightly hot, he looked at Gu Ye with a serious face, and gave some pointers from time to time. Seeing that Gu Ye's postures became more and more beautiful, he said with disdain: "I can just pose. "
Watching the video of his Moments show, an old friend taunted with envy and hatred: "You too, if you really dislike it so much, why are you posting on Moments? To show off how many and good sons you have?"
After hearing this, Dad Gu thought about it for himself. Indeed, he had nothing to show off. The best thing about him was that he had many sons, and each one was better than the last. Although the youngest one is not very good at studies, he is kind-hearted and he will never worry about the discord between their brothers.
Gu's father was a little overthinking. Gu Yang was working very hard now. Whatever the child could learn, it didn't matter. Anyway, his brothers could afford to support him. As long as he could maintain his innocence, that would be fine.
After playing golf for a day, in the evening the two old men had enough fun, and then they thought about going home. When they were saying goodbye, Uncle Wang received a call. While listening, he looked at Gu Ye in surprise. The hot look in his eyes startled Gu's father. He pulled Gu Ye behind him and looked at him with a very defensive look. His son already has several fathers, and he cannot afford to have another father.
After Uncle Wang hung up the phone, he happily said: "My son called me just now and said that he would return to China on May Day, and he really came back this time."
Dad Gu was no longer so defensive now and said with a smile: "That's good. It will only take a year or two to fully take over, and then we will retreat."
Uncle Wang pulled Gu Ye in surprise, "Eldest nephew, your calculations are so accurate! You also accept me as..."
Father Gu interrupted the other party with a sullen face, "Impossible! Don't try to trick my son!"
"Why are you so stingy? You have so many sons. I heard about you giving your son away after drinking. How about you have another drink with me?"
"Go away! Don't even think about it!"
The two old men were pushing and shoving, while Gu Ye looked on with a smile. It was a blessing in life to have a confidant who could grow from a young man to a gray-haired man. The good thing is that he also has a lot of friends, and it would be nice to play mahjong and have fun with them when they get older. Gu Ye rubbed his chin and thought for a while. He had to take some time to trick Qiao Qiao down the mountain. He couldn't let him stay alone on the mountain. He was worried.
After returning home, Gu's father happily called his two sons back, and Yu Ze also came over to have a reunion dinner together. Gu Ye coaxed him to have a smile on his face today.
After the meal, Gu Ye took his two brothers to play cards with Yu Ze. Gu Ye was paired with his second brother. Seeing the two usually stern people with smiles in their eyes, Gu Lin suddenly didn't want to play anymore, "Can you change places?"
Gu Ye was dissatisfied, "Why do you want to change? Second brother, do you look down on me?"
Gu Lin angrily put the cards on the table, "Are you stupid? When they were on the same team, we didn't have to fight, we had already lost, and you can't beat them in psychological warfare."
Gu Ye looked at Yu Ze aggrievedly, "I want to win."
Yu Ze lowered his eyes, looked at his cards, then looked at Gu Ye, and pondered for a moment.
Gu Lin immediately picked up the cards and felt that he could still play.
Gu Sen: "..."
Gu Ye was cheating when he heard Gu's father call: "Third brother, answer the phone, it's your Uncle Wang's."
Gu Ye ran over curiously, "Uncle Wang is looking for me?"
Father Gu was helpless. As soon as he answered the call, the other party said, "I'm not looking for you, I'm looking for your son."
He asked: "Which one?"
The other party became anxious with him, "If you have many sons, you can't show off like this. I'm looking for your youngest son, the third child!"
Gu Ye took the call from his father and asked doubtfully: "Uncle Wang, do you have anything to do with me?"
The person on the other side said embarrassedly: "There is something strange that I have been thinking about for a long time when I came back, and I still want to find out about it from you."
The author has something to say: Dad Gu shows a serious look in the picture: Humph! The boss is more stable and has better working ability. The second child is more thoughtful and personable. The third child is better-looking and can speak a little better. The fourth child is more naive... Forget it, delete the fourth child.
Gu Yang:? ?
——
Thanks to the little angels who voted for me or irrigated the nutrient solution between 2019-11-30 21:32:50~2019-12-01 17:04:05~
Thanks to the little angel who threw the rocket launcher: I’m afraid of you, but I’m crispy;
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