I pressed down my trembling hands, took a slow breath, and continued: "I went to work at t·r, just thinking that one day I could go to the United States to see her. Our company has a new recruit training every year, and we have to go to the headquarters in the United States for training. , plus there is still a business trip—although the time is not long, there is still a chance to meet at any rate."
I looked at everyone at the table, and suddenly my throat felt a little congested, I twitched the corners of my mouth, forced a smile: "Okay, don't talk about this, let me cry if you talk about it, let's have a drink. "I took a heavy breath, no matter how sad or angry I was, I could only bear it, I wanted to pretend, to pretend to be a miserable heterosexual, not to expose myself, not to let them notice that I was a heterosexual.
The bitter wine slid down my throat and into my esophagus. I thought if I was wrong in the previous life, then what is wrong with me in this life
Wen Yang confirmed that there was indeed such a person as Jiang Ning, such a woman, Liang Mi didn't say anything, and I hardly spoke during the whole process, and they just thought that I was recalling some past memories and feeling depressed, but For a person like me who has nothing to do with them, except for Liang Mi, they will not pay too much attention.
As a guest at home, everyone will drink tea, eat some fruit, and chat together after dinner as usual, but this time after dinner, everyone is planning to leave, and I started to clean up the leftovers on the table. .
I was carrying two electric hot pots and walking towards the kitchen, Wen Yang reached out to take them, but I hid them, "Go and send them off." After I finished speaking, I didn't even look at Wen Yang, and walked in alone.
At night, I was lying on the bed, surrounded by silence, I stared at the ceiling with wide-open eyes without blinking, and mist came out of my eyes when I looked at it.
I once confidently told Jiang Ning that I would not use her. I thought it was not difficult to do it. Who is not living their own life, and who would be bored enough to spy on other people's lives? I thought I could do it.
But after all, I broke my promise and failed to keep my original promise. I lost to myself and this world. In order to prove my "innocence", I used Jiang Ning to cover everything up.
I dare not admit my sexuality from the bottom of my heart, because I can't bear the eyes of the society, I can't bear the disgust of Wen Yang, I'm like a cockroach hiding in the darkness forever, dodging everywhere, never being seen by others, Always have to bear this kind of loneliness and sadness alone.
There was a sudden knock on the door, which was particularly abrupt in the quiet night. I lay motionless on the bed, letting the warm liquid spread unscrupulously on my face.
After a while, the knocking on the door stopped, and a gentle voice came through the door, "If you really like it that much, go find her." He paused and said, "But not now, before that you To make yourself stronger, I mean not only the ability, but also the heart must be strong enough, I know it is difficult, because... I have not done it, but I will be with you. "
"I won't let Liang Mi come to my house in the future."
I covered my face with tears streaming down my fingers, Wen Yang, you don't understand, I can't be strong, I thought I could, as long as you live a good life, I can stand all the grievances, but today I found that I can't, I will still Sad, there will be resentment.
You clearly know what Liang Mi's question means, why can't you block the words for me before I speak, the former you would never let me face today's predicament alone, Wen Yang, what are you thinking
As I listened to the footsteps of people leaving outside the door, sadness and grievance filled my whole body, making me breathless.
Although reason told me not to think so much, I couldn't hold a steelyard in my hand to weigh Wen Yang's feelings all the time, because Wen Yang was too kind to me before, but this time he was not so kind, so I couldn't bear it.
But I'm still sad, why won't Wen Yang explain it to me
Although I told Wen Yang that it would be easier to do work at home, I never forced him to do anything, and I never asked him when he would go home. I always wanted him to live more freely and do what he wanted Everything, help him, take care of him, and provide him with all the convenience possible.
But in the eyes of others, this has become something else. It turned out that it was so hard to just like someone.
I kept telling myself that there was no reason to complain, because long before I decided to atone for my sins, I had predicted everything I would endure, and I shouldn't blame Wen Yang for what happened to Liang Mi.
But easier said than done, I still feel aggrieved in my heart, like a stone is blocked in my chest, and I can only bear it by myself, find a way to resolve it, no one can listen to me, I have never encountered it in two lifetimes A person of the same kind, as a pervert in the eyes of most people, has been living like this.
At least crying out can give me a break, otherwise I feel like I'm going crazy, and I'm afraid I'll become a lunatic like I did in my last life.
Just cry out—no one here can see, no one will call me hypocritical—
You won't feel bad after crying.
I don't know how long I cried until I fell asleep slowly at the end.
When I got up in the morning, I stayed in the bathroom for a long time before I came out, and my eyes were a little swollen.
I sat at the table and ate breakfast as usual, Wen Yang handed me the whipped soybean milk, I thanked him, and continued to eat with my head down.
"What's wrong with your eyes?" Wen Yang raised his hand to raise my head curtain to take a closer look, but I tilted my head and dodged it. It seemed that every time I got angry with him, I would subconsciously make such a childish move.
"It's nothing!" I put down the tableware, "I've finished eating, let's go first!"
Although he didn't want Wen Yang to see anything, he still couldn't control his anger.
When I arrived at the unit, I wondered if it was because I was in a bad mood and I was a little sensitive. I always felt that everyone's vision was not right. Could it be that my eyes are so swollen? I've seen it in the mirror, but it's a bit like edema from sleep, and I can't see it clearly unless I look carefully.
"Shishan, you're on fire!" As soon as she sat down, she heard Fu Xiaoyu's voice.
"what?"
As a result, a few people rushed up from around, Li Hang held his mobile phone and said to me: "No, it's all on the hot list, don't say you didn't see it?"
"Our company has also become popular last time."
"Now hundreds of people in our company already know you. Fang Chi, the manager of the marketing department, asked me about you today."
"Look, my comments are all trending."
I answered the phone in a daze, and it was a hot topic on Weibo. The enclosed title was [The well-known host Lin Rui Shanbin does not distinguish, misreading typos, destroying the three views], the text is: Recently, in a number of large companies At the large-scale networking reception held, the well-known anchor Lin Rui pronounced "shan" as "bin" on the spot. After being slapped in the face by the high-value Xiaoxianrou in public, he stubbornly refused to admit it and deliberately made things difficult. The video Here you go, watching the video, Little Fresh Meat is really a warm man, and you will get a male god! !
Below is a video and some pictures.
I don’t know what the video is, but there are a few pictures of me, some of me lowering my head to comfort Tan Miaomiao, raising my arms to make her laugh, doing push-ups, and laughing with a microphone.
Click on the comments, and you can say anything.
... Really, if you mispronounce it, you will mispronounce it. It feels too low not to admit it. Who can write his name wrong!
... My brain is so handsome, especially when comforting a fat girl, his smile is so charming, he looks like a star.
... I have said long ago that Lin Rui and Xiao Zheng are not at the same level, and fans still insist on comparing them together, so that they can see each other, right
... looks just average, as if I've never seen a man before, you really don't choose, anyone who is rich and handsome can be called husband, why are women so shameless nowadays
... Aren't the hosts all knowledgeable and talented? How did this get mixed in
... What can be seen in a video, watching Lin Rui is just a joke, as for such a zoom in
... That game was obviously aimed at others by Lin Rui, and he waited for an opportunity to retaliate after losing face.
... What kind of well-known host is he? He has only hosted a few outdated programs on X Satellite TV. Xiao Zheng is the mainstay.
… Hehe, it’s really a wall and everyone pushes it. So many celebrities read wrong words, and I didn’t see what you said, but you just grabbed Lin Rui, and Xiao Zheng’s fans fucked up. This matter has nothing to do with your family .
... At the age of 21, he started working at t·r. He is an elite. His appearance, ability, temperament, and character are really handsome from head to toe.
... It feels like Shan Shan was joking at first, who knew that the host is so unrefined, he is not angry when his name is mispronounced, why is he so angry.
…
Shanshan? I'm a little congested.
And I also found this one in the popular comments:
This man is from our company. He just graduated this year. He has excellent work ability. He also became a full-time member in advance during the probationary period. Breaking news!
My gaze turned to Fu Xiaoyu, "You wrote it?"
"Hehe, more than a thousand likes, this is the first time I've had this account for so many years, thanks to you, I'm going to be popular too!"
…
"Brother Sharp and Sister Milk Tea are all so popular, do you think Shishan will enter the showbiz in the future?"
"It's hard to say, Shishan will sign Zhang first, and then he will be a big star in the future."
…
My mind is buzzing, I am not a person who can bear attention at all, and I don't know how to deal with this sudden situation.
Finally Chen Peng came over and scolded with a serious face: "If you don't work, why hang around together."
The crowd finally dispersed. I saw Fu Xiaoyu gave Chen Peng a cold look and returned to his seat. Ever since the incident at the networking reception last time, Fu Xiaoyu hadn't given Chen Peng a good look. I felt that Chen Peng wanted to make amends, but he couldn't do anything. .
Chen Peng glanced at me and went back without saying anything.
I turned on the computer and began to look for this news. In fact, this video was not posted by the marketing account at first, but someone recorded the video at the scene, took a photo and posted it on Weibo. Later, it was seen by the marketing account somehow. It’s popular, and it’s not a marketing account. There are only two popular accounts, and they post comments from different angles. One is purely critical of Lin Rui, and the other added me by the way.
I feel that things are a bit inexplicable, and it is said that the marketing account is not profitable, but I don't know what is going on? But the fierce competition of the TV station is obvious to all. Xiao Zheng's appearance rate under the comments is surprisingly high. From this point of view, I may have been used as a weapon in this matter.