The popularity of this matter continued a bit beyond my expectation. I was so disturbed that I hid directly upstairs on the rooftop with a cup during my lunch break.
Overcast clouds obscured the midday sun, and there was a breathless heat in the air.
I stood by the railing of the roof, looking at the endless stream of people downstairs, those people rushing on the road, everyone is experiencing a different life, I suddenly thought, is there anyone among these people who has the same personality as me? Troubled, how did they redeem themselves
I glanced at the unchanging smiling face on the milk glass, and I was a little dazed unconsciously. The stupid smiling face on it slowly turned into a gentle one, and I felt a little funny for no reason.
I held the cup high in my left hand, coughed, and said in a rough voice: "Didn't you say that no matter what Wen Yang does, you won't be angry with him? Why are you so awkward now?"
After I finished speaking, I switched the cup to my right hand again, and said in a lonely voice, "He knew what Liang Mi said, but he didn't help me. He wouldn't do this before."
I was silent for a few seconds, then switched back to my left hand: "Are you not a woman? You can handle it by yourself, how can you rely on Wen Yang everywhere, there will always be times when he can't take care of you."
This is a game I often played when I was a child. I was so withdrawn at that time. Before the brats were sensible, I had almost no playmates. The only entertainment was to take Ah Huang to my secret base and play this kind of role. play the game.
"It's different. The previous Wen Yang would not allow such a thing to happen. I feel that he has changed a bit. I don't know what he is thinking."
"Actually, everything Wen Yang does has his reasons. He won't do it for no reason. There must be some reason. Don't think about it. Besides, Liang Mi is also his friend, and he is also very embarrassed."
"I know, but I still can't help but get angry. I don't know what's wrong. It's very stubborn and hypocritical."
I stared at the cup in a daze, and finally let out a soft breath: "...how about this, just for this day, you just need to be angry for a day, and tomorrow you don't want to argue with Wen Yang again."
puff-
As soon as the words were finished, I heard laughter not far away, I turned my head warily to look over, and saw Wu Hao walking out from the porch of the rooftop.
He raised his hand and said, "I didn't eavesdrop on purpose." He smiled as he walked, "I never knew that the person in charge of our operations department had such hobbies."
When I saw Wu Hao, it was almost a bolt from the blue. I guessed that my face must be very beautiful. Who would have thought that someone would run to the rooftop like me in summer. I gritted my teeth and said, "How long have you been there?"
"Not long ago, um, just when you started directing, you usually like to play this?"
"No." It was just this one time, but someone looked at him seriously. I looked at Wu Hao, held back for a long time, and then said, "You... don't tell others."
Wu Hao leaned on the railing, with a look of uncontrollable laughter: "I'm not that glib." He paused, and then said, "Are you?"
I squeezed my fingers subconsciously, and said without changing my face: "What?"
"Don't be nervous, so am I. I've actually been observing you for a while. After all, the sudden appearance of such a beauty in the company inevitably makes people feel a little worried, but in the end I don't think you are, so I stopped thinking. No matter how immoral he won't touch a straight man, but—" He turned his head and said narrowly, "Sister Milk, should it be a man?"
My heart couldn't help skipping a beat. I would receive the milk that Wen Yang ordered for me every day. I don't know how long he ordered it. After a long time, the colleagues in the department used the milk sister to dismiss me. Just kidding, I don't feel disgusted, I was secretly happy, thinking about how Wen Yang would react if he knew his nickname
But now that my own space and secrets are being discovered like this, I only feel the uneasiness of being spied on. After all, compared to Jiang Ning, this person does not look so harmless. I looked at him: "What do you want to say?"
"I don't mean anything malicious, you don't have to be so guarded against me. It seems that you have never been in the circle. As a gay, living in a circle that is regarded as a different kind, doesn't it feel good?"
I leaned against the railing and asked noncommittally, "Do you have a deep understanding?"
Wu Hao took out a cigarette, lowered his head and lit a cigarette for himself, then smiled, "I used to be like this too, I lived in panic all the time, committed suicide, and was dragged by my dad to see a psychiatrist for a year, um In the end, he was forced to take hormones, that feeling, tsk tsk—" He took a puff of cigarette, without much expression on his face, I couldn't see his true mood when he said this.
I couldn't help asking: "What happened next?" I think Wu Hao has a lot of experience in communication, and uses his secrets to reduce my resistance, which makes people resonate and at the same time can't help but become curious.
"It doesn't matter later, what matters is now, at least I'm living a decent life now, who knows that I almost didn't live to be an adult?" He smiled lightly, "Take you to a place at night, people still have to find their own. circle, it is impossible for those outside the circle to understand you."
My heart was moved, but I still said, "I'm not a rebellious underage boy, I need someone to understand."
"Don't worry, I won't take you to any messy place, relax properly." Wu Hao looked at the cup in my hand, "It's better than self-discovery like you, who would have thought that the sunshine and warmth in front of others Man, the empress is so melancholy."
…
I don't want to refuse, it's not that I really want to relax, I'm just curious about what kind of world it is.
...
After get off work, Wu Hao took me to a bar. This bar looks a little too plain on the outside. If you don’t look carefully, it is very easy to hide in the corner of the street. What attracted me was a sentence on the wall——
i hope the pacific is in my dreams.
i hope...
This is a sentence at the end of The Shawshank Redemption. Before I read this book, I thought it was a story about a person who changed his mind and made a new start. Only after reading it did I realize that it was a story about redeeming himself in the dark.
At that time, I was young, and I could understand things limited, but now I think about it, I still remember a sentence in it, a strong person can save himself, and a great person can save others. Andy spent 19 years proving his strength and great.
I don't need to be a great person, I just hope that I can be strong enough to redeem myself in the end.
Pushing open the door of the bar, the inside is not big, and there are not many people. There is no explosive music and dazzling lights as imagined. The style is very elegant, it is a clean bar.
I breathed a sigh of relief, I was really afraid that Wu Hao would take me to some place like a group of demons dancing wildly and wild parties, and if I didn't know it here, I really wouldn't be able to tell that I was a gay.
Seeing me like this, Wu Hao smiled and said, "Relax, we are colleagues after all, how dare I do anything to you?"
I pretended to cough, and said with a serious face: "This is not good, even you admit that you have seen my beauty, so you have to guard against it."
Wu Hao raised his eyebrows and said with a smile: "I'm not going to be a backup, you're obsessed with unrepentant, affectionate appearance, why should I make trouble for myself, when has there ever been a shortage of handsome men in this world?"
... I was choked up enough by Wu Hao's "deep affection".
People can live so free and easy because they can see things openly.
We went to the bar and sat down. The bartender was a handsome guy. He looked at Wu Hao and said narrowly, "It's rare to bring someone over today, boyfriend?"
"Don't talk nonsense, my colleague, give me a glass of beer."
The nurse shrugged, turned around and asked me with a smile, "Handsome, what would you like to drink?"
"Give me a glass of soda water first!" I rarely come to this kind of place, the only two times I experienced it were Wen Yang ordered clear water for me.
It is always easy to make people thirsty in summer, and they drink the water handed by the bartender in one gulp.
"How can anyone go to a bar to drink only water?"
Suddenly there was a glass of brightly colored cocktail in front of me. The purple color gradually deepened from top to bottom. The rim of the glass was decorated with a small yellow flower, which looked very pleasing to the eye.
"This one is called Zi□□Mi, it's very suitable for you, please." The bartender said to me.
... Such a name of Su does not suit me.
Wu Hao said dissatisfied: "What's the matter, you, a man with a master, what are you flirting with here?"
The bartender retorted disapprovingly: "As for it? I just see a handsome guy in a good mood, and he manages so leniently. Doesn't it mean that he is not a boyfriend?"
"I'm afraid that you will scare people. It's the first time for a child to come."
I smiled at the bartender and said, "Thank you." I picked up the glass and took a sip. It was cold and refreshing, and I couldn't taste it either.
There are not many people in the bar, they are all scattered in the corner, there are only me and Wu Hao at the bar, and the bartender guy came over to chat with me.
"Have we met somewhere? Why does it look familiar?"
Wu Hao supported his forehead, looking extremely helpless: "You are enough, next time I see your family, I really have to ask, are you dissatisfied with desire or something, I haven't seen you like this before?"
"I'm serious, why are your thoughts so unhealthy?"
I held the cup and took another sip of wine. Watching them bicker, I was in a good mood. I suddenly thought of Guo Yu and Yu Mingjie. I haven't seen them for a long time. I don't know how they are doing now
Suddenly the phone rang, and I took it out of my jacket.
"Where is it?" The voice on the phone was as gentle and steady as ever.
I looked at the wine glass in front of me and said, "Outside, with friends, I'll be back later today, there's everything in the refrigerator, if you don't want to make it yourself, cook some dumplings." Wen Yang doesn't care too much about appetite Asked, but he likes boiled fish and dumplings very much. When Wen Yang is free on weekends, we will make a lot of them and put them in the refrigerator to freeze. Later, Yang Xuan also helped a lot. Well, very similar to what grandma made.
"If it's not an important party, come back early and don't stay outside too much..."
"Wen Yang..." I interrupted him, I don't know where the anger came from, "I am not only you as a friend, I also want to manage my own friendship, just like you and Guan Lei, they have their own circle of friends, Someone who can stand on my side and think for me at critical times, I am no longer the nerd who wants to be protected by you in school, so don't treat me with the old thinking, don't interfere with my freedom .” Once I become mean, sometimes I feel startled.
There was a long silence on the other side of the phone, and I thought I made him sad again. After a while, I heard him say, "Sorry." There was a rare tiredness in his voice, "I watched the news today, and that star ate so much food. It's a big loss, I'm afraid he will take your anger out on you... ",
This person is always gentle and makes me feel ashamed. I sighed and said, "I'm sorry, I know you are worried about me, but I'm a big man and I have nothing to be afraid of. Don't worry, I'll go back later."
I hung up the phone, thinking with a headache what was wrong with me