Before I could react, Qin Xi walked away and walked up to a man sitting on a wooden pier smoking a cigarette. He said in a deep voice, "I've already called the police. Did you make up your mind to wait here for the police to come?" ?”
The man was holding a cigarette butt, and slowly raised his head when he heard the words. It turned out to be the homeless man I saw at the gate of the Qin residence that day. Quite embarrassed.
The middle-aged man took a puff of the cigarette, and the smoke ring spread, and a hoarse voice sounded: "I always thought she would live well."
Qin Xi looked at the dense forest on the green hill, his eyes were dark and unclear, and he said calmly: "I have never seen her live a good life."
"After her successful operation, I left X city and wandered around. I moved bricks and cement for others, and I went to the mountains with others and even limped a leg. Inner Mongolia, Tibet... I have been to many places, and I regard myself as an atonement. , Ten years is the time limit I set for myself. I resisted not to inquire about her news, and finally waited until the tenth year. I thought that if she hadn't remarried yet, I would try to ask her to forgive me, even if it didn't work... I can also look at her..." His voice was always calm, but it made people feel sad.
He threw the cigarette butt in his hand and crushed it under his feet, his old and crooked body became more and more bleak in the autumn wind, "I've been tired for so many years..."
I seem to see myself after many years, like him, using the rest of his life to redeem sins, wasting his life in misery, and then having a lifeless ending. I feel chills. This feeling follows the arrival of the police. reached its peak.
"Xiaoheng just..."
"Don't worry, we will take good care of him." Qin Xi promised him.
Qin Xi calculated the time very well and gave the middle-aged man time to escape, but it was obvious that the other party had no such intentions. I watched this man be taken away by the police.
If it wasn't him, then it would be me who was taken away.
"Why are you in a daze?"
I regained my composure, and it turned out that it was Qin Xi who had finished his notes and came to see me.
"Who is that person?" I asked unconsciously.
"He used to be my brother-in-law."
"how come… "
"You've seen him now, there's nothing worth talking about. He treated my elder sister very badly at the beginning, that is, when you loved me, I didn't love you. When I fell in love with you, I found that Si Ren was no longer there. Unclear debts, what's the use of asking these? Why don't you think about yourself. "
"Me? What am I thinking about..." I was a little stunned, and I couldn't react to the fact that Qin Fu was dead. I thought of many ways to kill Qin Fu, drugging him in kind, or making him suffer. It's a good way to relieve the depression in my heart, but the person died like this, and was burnt beyond recognition.
Qin Xi took a deep breath and said in a good temper: "Now that Qin Fu is dead, what are your plans for the future?"
I? I originally planned to die with Qin Fu. Although it seemed like a stupid decision, it was a good ending for me who had no worries and was about to become a lunatic. But now that Qin Fu is dead, I have nothing to do. With hatred can not vent.
What should I do? I feel more lost than ever.
"There was a reason why the second brother didn't fully recover."
I looked at Qin Xi, Qin Xi today is a little more patient and peaceful than before.
"He has never been able to mind the death of his eldest sister, thinking that he is an accomplice, and has been living in regret and self-blame. He can't let go of these things and start again. He can't really find peace in his heart, and he can't fully recover."
It's not easy to put your life on the line and want to live a life with no regrets. I am haunted by guilt and regret every day, and I am awakened by nightmares every night. I almost empathize with Qin Mu's situation. Heartbreaking pain.
"But now he has a new life and people who are important to him. He has been doing well for the past two years. Nothing can't be let go, and no one asks you to forget it completely, but you have to start a new life. , since the past cannot be changed, why not give yourself a chance to start over?"
Let go of the past and start over—start over
Wen Yang has found his own happiness in this life, and I can even predict his happy life in the future. Is this my atonement? Then can I let go of the past and start over
But can it really be let go
"Let's go, go to the United States. If you don't try, you will know that you will lose. It's not time to give up."
...
After an autumn rain yesterday, although the daytime is still hot and dry, the air at night is slightly cool.
I stood next to the flower bed in the downstairs community for almost half an hour, hesitating and daring not to take the next step. I have exhausted all my courage to come here.
Although I thought about leaving quietly like this, but after all I want to see him again, at least there should be a formal farewell between us.
The shadows of the trees are swaying, accompanied by the quiet cool breeze, a man and a woman come down from upstairs, the man is handsome and elegant, the woman is dignified and beautiful, they are like a pair of lovers who envy others, the conversation and laughter are getting closer, I seem to have returned to my previous life A certain scene in the movie, the one that completely ignited my madness.
"Shishan?" Seeing me stop, Wen Yang asked a little uncertainly through the shadow of the tree.
Hearing Wen Yang's voice, I froze all over, with mixed feelings in my heart. On the one hand, I was sore, but on the other hand, I was glad that I had prepared for it. I came here after taking the medicine, otherwise it might be ugly.
I stared blankly at the man who came over, and said with an embarrassed expression: "Well, I'm here to find you—if you're busy, forget it, another day... another day when you have time to talk about it!"
In fact, this is also good, there are some things I still don’t know how to say.
"Wait!" Wen Yang called to stop me, he turned his head and handed the car keys to Yang Xuan, "You drive my car, be careful yourself."
Yang Xuan took the key and said to me: "If you haven't eaten yet, you two should go eat something, have a good chat, keep an eye on him, and don't let him drink."
I forced myself to smile, and said "yes", in fact, for a moment just now, I almost wanted to say thank you, thank you for lending me Wen Yang.
Wen Yang and I went to a food stall downstairs nearby, the weather turned cold, and it was the best time for business, Wen Yang and I used to come here often to eat skewers.
"You lost a lot of weight again." Wen Yang said.
I lowered my head, my eyes were a little sour, and I smiled: "I haven't slept well all this time, I've gotten better these two days, you... you and Yang Xuan... did you just..."
Wen Yang handed me the cup that had just been scalded with hot water: "We were just going to see the house."
My hand shaking when I took the cup, although I knew the two were together, I was still taken aback by their progress. I was indeed the one hindering them. This realization made me very uncomfortable.
I raised my head and forced a smile: "That...that's very good..." The words were inexplicable. I wanted to say some blessings, but I couldn't open them a few times. Messy, incoherent, out of line, I don't know what to say, and I don't know what I want to say.
"It's rare for you to look for me today. You have been avoiding me before, and you can't be found. It's not easy to see you." Wen Yang poured tea into my cup, and said to me in a good mood.
I subconsciously wanted to deny that I was hiding from him, but when I thought about it, I was too obvious. I lowered my head and said, "I'm bothering you today."
Wen Yang smiled very gently: "It's nothing, Yang Xuan has a friend who knows the developer, and I just went to have a look today when I have time, I don't know much about these things, and it's not very useful to go, whenever you have time, you can help I will advise."
"Maybe... not very good." I took a breath and said, "I... plan to go to the United States."
I didn't dare to look at Wen Yang's expression, and became inexplicably nervous. I turned the cup in my palm with both hands, and said calmly, "You know I don't have many friends, and you are the only one. I have done a lot to make things worse. The embarrassing thing you did was originally for your own good, but the method was improper and caused so many misunderstandings, I hope...you don’t mind it in the future." I felt uncomfortable, thinking of the vicissitudes of life, this is not afraid that there will be no hope, and it will be hard to see when we will see each other again I foresee that if one day I really get better, I can let go of this relationship, see his wife and children and Le Ping An, and this life will be considered complete, but now I feel sore in my heart, and it is hard to let go.
Wen Yang didn't speak, I couldn't help raising my head, and met Wen Yang's piercing eyes, in the dark thick eyes there were emotions that I couldn't see clearly, anger, disappointment, forbearance, sadness... all emotions blended together Tuan, the inexplicable look in his eyes made people panic, staring straight at me, making me feel like I did something heinous and was questioned after being exposed.
"Why are you going to America all of a sudden?"
"The dishes are here!" The little boss came over with a large tray and served us dishes, "Mutton skewers, enoki mushrooms, shrimp clams, spinach peanuts, clams..."
After the good food was served, the little boss asked again, "The dishes are all ready, why don't you come with any drink? How tasteless!"
"No need to… "
"Bring some rice wine and beer." Wen Yang interrupted me, "If I knew you were going to leave, I should have chosen a better place for you to practice. You should drink some wine at this time."
I couldn't stop it anymore, so I had to say: "Then drink less."
Wen Yang handed me the skewers, looked at me and asked again: "Why are you going to America all of a sudden?"
"Not really—suddenly, I said that when I went to work at t·r, I was more or less selfish. I also found out that the United States is not as far away as I thought, and the distance between me and Jiang Ning is actually only ten miles away. A few hours on the plane, I don't want to waste time, no one can guarantee that she will be waiting for me at the same place, so I want to try it no matter whether it succeeds or not." I said these words very smoothly, Jiang Ning was the one before I came Just thinking of a good reason, it was the most plausible excuse I could find for myself.
"Are you going to the United States to find Jiang Ning?" Wen Yang paused, his face turned cold.
I said "hmm" and said: "You also said that if some people miss it, it is difficult to guarantee that they will not regret it in the future. I think that even if they fail, I can see different scenery outside."