"I will! I will help her"
"Then what will you say to her? How can you speak without being so obtrusive."
"I... I will say, classmate, are you a freshman here to report?"
"Very well, she may be very shy when she sees you, but she is still happy to tell you that she is a freshman, so that you will know each other, and you will report together, find the registration office, the payment office, and go to collect daily necessities..."
"...Then you found out that you are in the same major and the same class. You are really destined. Will you be happy at this time?"
"… meeting."
"Later you learned that Jiang Ning's parents were divorced, and they started their own families a long time ago. Her mother went abroad, her father had a tense relationship with her, and no one came to see her off when school started. You feel pity for the similar situation... You will go to self-study together, in time. Give each other help, two lonely people warm and encourage each other, everyone thinks you are a couple, and you also have a good impression of each other, you are a special existence in each other's heart, even if you like each other, you don't Dare to touch the guard at will, there are too many on-off and off-again couples in the university, you are all afraid... Why doesn't Shishan confess his love, what are you afraid of?"
"I... I'm afraid that we won't even be friends in the end."
"That's right, none of you confessed, but your relationship is getting better and better, you..."
…
"The four years of college passed quickly, and we were about to part. Jiang Ning asked you to go to the playground. The night was beautiful that day. She lowered her head and told you that her mother wanted her to go to the United States after graduation. She was very embarrassed. She Asking you with a blushing face, should she listen to her mother? At this time, Shi Shan, how do you answer her?"
"I… "
"She is confessing to you in a disguised form. If you reject her, she will leave here disheartened, but do you really not like her? You have experienced a lot in the past four years. You have encouraged each other, supported each other, and become each other. An inseparable part."
"I like... but—"
"Huh? You know that if you refuse, Jiang Ning will go abroad, and it will be difficult for you to meet again, but you want to make some achievements and make promises to the other party, so you feel very confused and don't know what to do Do it, right?"
"No—neither!" I struggled.
"What is that for?"
"Because—Where's Wen Yang?" I opened my eyes and looked sharply at Wang Kai, "Where's Wen Yang? Why isn't there Wen Yang?"
Wang Kai looked at me in astonishment: "Why do you..."
"Lance said you once hypnotized me, but it failed. I don't think he's telling the truth." I sat up and looked straight at him, "You really didn't make me forget Wen Yang, but you made me Forget about turning me into the culprit I am now, and downplay my hatred for Qin Fu."
Wang Kai looked at me and took a deep breath, "When did you find out?"
"Qin Fu's death didn't relieve me in the slightest. His death was too easy. Because it wasn't by me, I couldn't feel any pleasure of revenge at all. Whenever I think of it, I feel heart-burning hatred. , but I don’t know when I stopped worrying about these things, I clearly know that Qin Fu caused me to be like this, but somehow I don’t hate him anymore, but how is this possible?”
"So you suspect that I have tampered with you? You have been guarding against me hypnotizing you again."
"Prevention? Not before today. I know you hypnotized me, but the starting point of this kind of thing is for my own good. After that, Lance also promised me to respect my opinion, so I thought you would never The sword goes sideways." I stood up, walked to his desk, looked into his eyes, and said coldly, "But you shouldn't involve Jiang Ning, this matter has nothing to do with her."
Wang Kai stood up and said, "She likes you. If it wasn't for Wen Yang, you might have liked her. You are not really gay. You can have other choices. This is the best result."
Controlling the surging anger, I said in a deep voice, "Then why did you hypnotize? Instead of letting nature take its course and let Jiang Ning and I develop freely?"
"Because—" Wang Kai was at a loss for words.
I snapped: "Because you know it's impossible, you know that hypnosis is fake, have you ever thought about it, if one day the effect of hypnosis disappears, what will Jiang Ning do?"
Not only did Wang Kai feel that he took a step back: "I think you are not such an irresponsible person."
I grabbed his collar with my left hand across the table and looked at him with cold eyes: "So I will continue to lie to her? This is the best result you said. You never considered Jiang Ning's feelings. She is Innocent, she doesn't need to get involved in such inexplicable feelings for others!"
"She may not be unwilling. You saw her wanting to save you. She stayed here to take care of you when you were in a coma. If you can be together, it is a kind of compensation for her... Ah, Shishan you… "
I punched Wang Kai and hit him hard on the face: "No one would want this kind of compensation for charity, let alone your deceitful behavior."
I covered my chest, and said breathlessly: "You took advantage of my unpreparedness before, and gave me some hints from time to time. You saw that the relationship between the two of us is getting better and better, so you are going to repeat the old trick today. Let me 'completely' like Jiang Ning, you have no scruples about other people's feelings."
Wang Kai rubbed his left cheek, stood up and said: "I did this for you, if it wasn't for me, you might not be sure..."
The door was pushed open suddenly, and several medical staff rushed in, "What's wrong? Shi, did he..."
I looked at the few people who entered the door coldly, and said in English: "Tell your good colleagues, don't appear in front of me again, forever..." I pushed away the people who were standing at the door, and left here.
I was spread out on the sofa, out of breath, with cold sweat dripping down my forehead, that feeling was too terrifying, like you know you are dreaming, but you just can’t wake up, I was still jumping like crazy The endless chest, as if just woken up from a nightmare, the mood is difficult to calm down.
I think I'm going to leave as soon as possible and rewrite other people's lives at will. I don't know if I continue to be me.
Maybe it was because I was afraid of my rebellious emotions, which made my condition unstable. After that, I never saw Wang Kai again. As the weather gradually became hotter, my diary gradually became coherent. better.
If Lance hadn't mentioned Wang Kai to me again, I think I would be in a better mood.
"Shi, don't be like this. When Wang Kai left, tell me that you can resist his hypnosis, which means that your spirit has recovered very well."
I disagreed and said, "I think you Americans have very high standards for doctors' medical ethics."
Lance shrugged and said, "No matter how high the standard is, we should consider it from the patient's point of view. Although I don't agree with his approach, it's justifiable. Your situation at that time was indeed very bad."
I squinted and lay on the armchair, feeling the sunlight refracted from the window, and said coldly: "It's fine before, did he do the same later? He was just experimenting with me, but you seem to be conniving at his kindness." extreme."
"If I pamper him, he won't leave. Kai's work experience here will become a dark history on his resume. If you are not satisfied, you can even sue him. I'm just surprised. They said you were a very lenient man before. And people, now that you have almost recovered, why are you still so mean, or do you have any prejudice against our industry. "
I grasped the key words in his words, sat up quickly and asked, "What do you mean, I can leave here soon?"
Lance looked very unhappy: "Shi, don't tell me this with such a happy expression, we have never abused you."
"You're too sensitive. Do you think anyone would like to be sick all the time? When you get well, I will naturally appreciate your efforts."
"Most of the people who come here are not for medical treatment. The environment and service here allow you to live a life like an emperor. The Chinese chef hired for you is a huge sum of money every month. , if I give you a bill, you won't dislike this place so much." He smiled happily, "Actually, I didn't expect that your condition deteriorated at an astonishing speed, and we were almost helpless , I didn’t expect to survive like this in the end, thank God!”
I suppressed my patience and asked: "When can I leave?"
"You still need to rest now. It is difficult to walk around the Sara Lake behind with your current physical strength. Your cardiopulmonary function is not up to standard. You need to exercise more and pay attention to your diet. You must weigh at least 130 pounds. You know your disease. Yes, it is impossible to achieve a real recovery. No matter what time the emotions fluctuate, you must avoid the recurrence of the disease again, because you have taken a lot of drugs during the treatment, which has affected your body organs to a certain extent. Pay attention to the maintenance of your body, so as not to cause other diseases." Lance saw me frowning, and smiled again: "But you can rest in any place, but you have to ask someone to help you, if you have to leave, take Wendy , remember to come back regularly for checkups."
In less than a year, I seemed to feel as long as a century. Between life and death, it seemed that there was just a curtain of unknown material. There are thousands of difficulties, those things that you can't let go of, those things that you can't let go of, and those things you can't bear to look back on will all become the fetters of your life.
For three months, my life was hanging by a thread, but it took another half a year, and with the fragrance of midsummer, I left here.
Jiang Ning helped me rent a house in the suburbs, and I started to live a step-by-step life, following the schedule they gave me every day, getting up at six o'clock for a run, eating the nutritious breakfast Wendy prepared for me at seven o'clock, reading books and listening to music Cultivate the so-called sentiment, you can watch the news, but you can't watch TV movies that stimulate your nerves.
Jiang Ning will come here often, and even bring back the work of the magazine. I will cook some delicious food for her myself, or help her complete the work together.
At this time, Jiang Ning would always say, Shishan, you know everything, it's great to know you.
But I think it's really great to know her.
Although there are many misfortunes in my life, I have never lacked people who can help me. Without Jiang Ning, maybe I would really choose to give up at that time, and I have been immersed in the beautiful dream I wove for myself, and I will never be able to get out.
This world does not only let me see despair.
Maybe I can really start over.