There are a lot of scenery to see here. Jiang Ning and I have been to many places in New York. I think that when our health is better, we will go to a place a little farther away to have a look.
Wendy is very strict with me. I even applied for the Internet several times with Lance first. I sorted out some travel strategies on the Internet, and planned the places to eat, play, distance, and time nearby. Well, when the time comes, I will make a travel plan according to Jiang Ning's time. Jiang Ning did all of these before. Now I try to do what I can to reduce her burden.
Opening the mailbox, there have been more than a hundred spam emails in just over a year, but it is also easy to delete.
There are a lot of warm emails in it, even at the end, the time interval is not long, he really has been looking for me, after all, I have affected his life and caused troubles to his life, this is not I hope.
It has been more than a year, or I should tell him that I am doing well now and let him not worry, I have walked out of the haze of life and started a new life, I hope Wen Yang can do the same.
I took a deep breath and clicked on the latest email.
...
... hurts, hurts...
It was as if a huge ax had split my head, and the nerves in my brain were torn apart one by one.
My heart seems to be torn apart, why does it still hurt, the pain is so painful that I have no ability to resist.
Consciousness seems to be swallowed up bit by bit. I have a cold all over my body, and it hurts... Who will help me
I don't know how long it took, but Jiang Ning's scream woke me up. The pain from my wrist made me lower my head. What caught my eyes was a bright red and the blood-stained fruit knife that had just fallen off my hand.
Jiang Ning ran over in a panic: "Shishan, what happened? Wendy, where's Wendy?" She yelled in a panic, but Wendy went out, she cried and took out her mobile phone to call 911.
Jiang Ning brought the first aid kit and bandaged it for me crying: "What's wrong? What's wrong, Shishan, why are you doing this to yourself?"
"I... I can't control it." I looked down at my hand, as if all the strength in my body had been drained, and my heart was full of sadness. I thought everything was over, and I agreed not to bother, but I Still can't control myself.
"Can't control what?" Jiang Ning shifted his eyes to the computer behind me, and tremblingly said: "Shi Shan, why can't you forget him? What made you so attached to him? He got married when he got married. What's the big deal, don't think about him anymore, okay?" Jiang Ning hugged me and cried and trembled, "Is that okay? It's not worth it, it's not worth it, woo woo—"
I hugged Jiang Ning, tears streaming down my face, the pain of tearing was followed by the lingering sadness and loneliness, I wanted to forget, I was really trying to forget, but seeing Wen Yang getting married, I still couldn’t help but want to go Destroy his happiness, want to rob and possess that person.
"Jiang Ning..." Tears flooded her cheeks and wet her shoulders. I cried for a long time, not understanding why I was so sad.
I held onto Jiang Ning's clothes tightly, "Look, he is married, and he wants me to be the best man. He will hold a grand wedding. The bride is breathtakingly beautiful. Many people will go, and the venue is full of Flowers, wine and blessings... I should also bless him, fulfill them as great as before, let him remember my kindness, instead of going crazy with jealousy, trying to destroy everything... "
"Jiang Ning, don't cry, don't cry for people like me, what should I do? Jiang Ning, I feel like I'll never get better, I'm a sinner."
"Don't be so stupid." Jiang Ning choked up, "Shi Shan, if... if you met me first, I would definitely not let you suffer so much."
I looked out of the window without focus, the sky is still bright, and there will be endless time in the future, but I feel that I have exhausted all my strength, and I am unable to look forward to fantasy.
…
I went back to the nursing home again. Everything that happened that day was like a farce. Even I didn’t want to believe that I could do such a thing as cutting my wrist. Even if I gave myself a knife in the chest, it still seemed heroic. Some, I don't want to admit that I made such a sissy move just because I saw the wedding email from Wen Yang, but the fact that the fine marks on my wrists can't be erased.
Jiang Ning gave me a watch, which was very valuable at first glance. Before I refused, she said that it was a watch brand represented by her uncle, and it didn't cost too much money. I owed Jiang Ning more and more.
When I first learned that Jiang Ning was a rich second generation, I was really surprised. Her mother had her own clothing brand in the United States, and after the divorce, the man she is now marrying is also very expensive. No one in our university would know about these things. Jiang Ning has never been willing to talk about her family affairs. In her opinion, these are not capital for her to show off, but rather not good memories.
Jiang Ning is now working as a photojournalist for a magazine. Speaking of which, the job is not easy. A girl often goes out on business trips with a huge and heavy camera, but she is very happy doing it by herself.
This time, Lance and the others gave me a lot of psychological construction and guidance, such as Wen Yang marrying a wife and having children, lest I have another self-harm tragedy, which seems a bit silly to me, because I have fantasized Countless times, I thought I could bear it, but in the end, I still fell off the chain.
When I think of Wen Yang getting married, my heart is full of sorrow, and I turn on the Daiyu mode, feeling inexplicably sad.
But later I found a way to redeem myself. Whenever I felt that I couldn't hold on and wanted to find Wen Yang, I would read Xi Murong's "A Flowering Tree" over and over again.
In this way, I seem to be able to go back to that intoxicating afternoon. Wen Yang sat on the sofa next to me with a gentle smile on his face, and read this poem to me with his unique clear and deep voice, which sounded like someone coming out of the window. The wind that blows in through the wall curtain is gentle and soft enough to warm my life...
At that time, I will have enough strength to say to myself, Shi Shan, do you still remember the oath you made at that time? You said, no matter how much suffering you will suffer in your future life, even if you are lonely, you can only move forward by yourself, as long as you think of that day, you will not regret it.
Now you have nothing to atone for, and you have nothing to help Wen Yang. Your illness will never be completely cured. Please stay away from him and don't bother him anymore.
...
When I left the nursing home again, it was already winter. My legs were covered with a thick blanket with a book on it and a cup of tea on the table. The room was peaceful and beautiful.
I looked up at the soft snowflakes flying in the air outside the window, and suddenly smiled.
Everything is pure delusion.
...
two years later...
I frowned, looked at the slip of coffee on the list, and finally returned the list to the waiter: "Lemonade, thank you!"
After the waiter left, the handsome guy with blond hair and blue eyes stared at me: "What's your relationship with Cherry?"
I looked at the handsome foreign guy, waited for a while, and found that there was no follow-up, with a standard smile on my face: "Sir, I think you need to introduce yourself before this."
The handsome guy straightened his muscular body and said, "My name is Gaby, and I'm Cherry's boyfriend."
I froze for a moment, then smiled and said, "It's not good to lie."
"I know you don't want to believe it, but it's the truth. Cherry is already mine. As a boyfriend, I ask you to stay away from her."
"... Sorry, I can't promise."
"Then don't blame me for being rude to you, I, gaby, are definitely not someone you can afford!"
Me: "..." Is this kid okay
Maybe seeing that I didn't respond, he said again: "If you can quit, Gaby will thank you very much."
So I met the foreign version of Ye Liangchen! I couldn't hold back the serious look of the handsome foreign guy. I bent down while pressing my abdomen with my hands, and laughed muffledly, "Well, what then?"
Gaby frowned, and muttered to himself: "Isn't it right? Don't you Chinese treat your rivals like this?"
…
Jiang Ning actually has such a suitor, a bit stupid...
"I'm not stupid at all, why do you scold people?"
I actually said what I was thinking, and I looked up at Gaby with some surprise: "You can understand Chinese?"
The handsome guy raised his eyebrows proudly: "I have studied Chinese for more than a year, no, almost two years, I can do anything for Cherry, you can't compare to mine, I hope you can withdraw from the competition."
I pushed aside the lemonade just brought by the waiter, touched the high-end watch on my left hand with my fingers, and said slowly: "Sorry, gaby, right? I don't think Cherry is a flirtatious person. When I went to school with her We were together, because she came to the United States, we separated for a short time, but then I gave up everything in China and came to the United States for Cherry. From this point of view, I love her more than you, and we are already together For many years, I don't want you to intervene in our relationship, and do you know what your behavior is called in China?"
"What?" The handsome foreign guy looked blank.
"Little San, do you know?" I looked up at him and said, "It's just meddling in other people's feelings, a very immoral behavior."
"You're lying." Gaby felt a little annoyed, "Cherry said she didn't have a boyfriend, and she wasn't with you."
I raised my eyebrows, yo... so it's not that easy to lie, I coughed, and then said patiently: "Cherry and I have some misunderstandings, but you can also see our relationship, whether it's work or life, we are very close. You are an inseparable partner, and we have a relationship foundation, so I don’t think you have any advantages in comparison.” As early as more than a year ago, I entered the magazine where Jiang Ning was, thanks to the previous I helped Jiang Ning do the work, so the process went smoothly. Sometimes Jiang Ning and I will go out for interviews together.
Gaby grabbed the edge of the table and leaned forward slightly, his tall body gave people a lot of pressure invisible: "My relationship with Cherry is not comparable to yours, I will not give up, no matter what you do in China, in China Here we follow the rules of the United States and compete fairly, and I will definitely not lose to you."
I sighed secretly, a little worried about my body that won't get back fat. I have recovered very well in the past two years, but I still can't be as strong as before. In China, I may just be a little thin, but in the tall and big The United States is really weak, but it will not lose in momentum. I said calmly: "I have been talking for a long time, where is your bargaining chip? Why don't you tell me how you know each other? I want to see it too." Are you a threat to me?"
When it comes to this handsome guy, he is full of interest, like a teenager who is drunk in love.
Except for the inconsistencies in the foreword and some exaggerations, it is probably the process that he and Jiang Ning met three years ago and were attracted by this special oriental girl (exaggerated words such as shy oriental elves and beautiful red apple girls are omitted here), It took a year and tried all kinds of methods to pursue, but the other party was not moved at all. Later, Jiang Ning probably got annoyed by being pestered, and directly told him that he didn't like foreign devils, which hit Gaby hard. There is no way to change the white race.
However, Gaby did not give up because of this, and he became more and more courageous. For Jiang Ning, he signed up for a Chinese class, and his skin color could not be changed, but the gap between the two of them in learning Chinese was naturally small, and it is still a small difference up to now. Success, so the offensive against Jiang Ning was launched again, but the result was still the same.
Gaby began to examine whether there was something wrong with his pursuit method, maybe there was too much difference between East and West? At the moment, his dog-headed military advisor—his friend in the Chinese class recommended several Chinese novels to him (you don’t have to think about the genre), and he started to learn them from the dictionary. He himself said that Jiang Ning is now familiar with He has improved a lot. The two had their first date yesterday. Of course, this has yet to be verified.
I really can't imagine that such a tall and strong foreigner goes to see a Chinese-style romance novel in which the domineering CEO falls in love with me. The scene is really shocking.
But for more than three years, this kind of perseverance is also worthy of admiration, but I feel a little lost in my heart. In the past three years, Jiang Ning and I can be regarded as dependent on each other, working hard together in a foreign country.
Although Jiang Ning has a mother in the United States, she has already re-established a family. With her own children, Jiang Ning only visits on holidays, and only when her mother has time.
When I thought life would continue like this, this foreign youth reminded me that Jiang Ning will have his own life in the future, and I need to face the future life alone, and there will be no one to keep warm with each other.