I was woken up by the biological clock in the morning. I was sleepy and tired. I felt that I had no strength in my body. I stretched out my hand in a daze to check the time, but just as I raised my hand, a hand stretched out from behind me and covered me. on the back of his hand, pulling me away.
"Sleep a little longer." The voice was deep and hoarse, just waking up.
I froze, and slowly woke up from the drowsiness. All the memories of last night flooded up. It wasn't a dream. Yesterday was—
I struggled to get up in fear, but was pulled into Wen Yang's arms again, skin touched, body temperature melted, and I felt Wen Yang's reaction in an instant.
"If you still have the spirit, I don't mind working harder."
No matter how stupid I am, I understand Wen Yang's meaning, let alone in this situation, but I don't understand how things suddenly developed to this point.
Wen Yang half hugged me from behind, with his palms on my waist, I flinched a bit, before I had time to think too much, I suddenly thought of another thing.
"Jiang Ning..."
Wen Yang stopped, my heart couldn't help beating violently, but I didn't dare to make any movements.
A gentle voice came from behind: "She called yesterday, but you were already tired and fell asleep by then."
My heart skipped a beat and I asked, "How did you tell her?"
Wen Yang smiled: "I didn't say anything, what she said to me back then, I said what to her."
I couldn't get any clues from Wen Yang's words, because I didn't know what Jiang Ning sent Wen Yang by phone, and how did he know that those words meant Jiang Ning and not me.
"Wen Yang..." I moved my lips and whispered, "I have to go to work."
Wen Yang suddenly turned over and pressed me down, and put his hand on the quilt to the side of my face, he said in a hoarse voice: "I think Jiang Ning will ask for leave for you, you don't have to worry about this, you now There are other issues to worry about."
I was taken aback, and looked at him in horror: "It's really over, Wen Yang, we can't go on like this."
"It's already too late." Wen Yang lowered his head, breathed closer again, and gently kissed the center of my brow, and retracted his arms around my waist, "Even if this is wrong, I don't want to stop, I can ignore what happened to you in the past, but you can only belong to me in the future."
...
When I woke up again, I was alone on the bed. I raised my hand and looked at my watch. It was already afternoon. I sat up in a daze, and found that my pajamas were a little too big, and my belly was a little bit. The shame that goes away gets up and looks for something to eat.
The perfect combination of the open kitchen and the dining room is obviously not comparable to the apartment Wen Yang and I used to live in, but the elegant and gorgeous decoration makes people feel a little unreal.
I opened the refrigerator, and it was not as empty as I thought, but it was full of raw food. I searched for a long time, and took a tomato to fill my stomach first, but before I could enter, the kitchen door was suddenly pushed open.
I met the last pair of eyes full of panic and anger, my heart trembled, I felt that I was too worthless, obviously I just took a tomato, I actually panicked inexplicably.
Wen Yang strode forward, raised his hand to hold my arm tightly, and pulled me over. His eyes were full of anger, and his rising and falling breathing indicated the critical point of anger.
A tomato in my hand fell to the ground while being pulled, the corpse was a bit horrible, I looked at him for no reason: "Wen Yang, what... what's wrong?"
Wen Yang's face was gloomy, and he stared at me for a moment: "What are you doing?"
Wen Yang used too much force, I felt a dull pain in my wrist, I tried to break free, but Wen Yang seemed to be even more angry, but I didn't know what exactly Wen Yang was angry about.
I replied nonchalantly: "I didn't do anything, I'm just a little hungry..." I looked at the dead tomatoes on the ground, feeling a little pity.
I don't make noise or talk, and I take the initiative to look for food when I'm hungry. It's not annoying at all. In the serious late Stockholm period, why is Wen Yang still angry
Wen Yang leaned over and looked at me dangerously: "Don't think I don't know what you're planning? No matter how much you pretend, I can't let you go!"
The breath was a little closer, and there was a burning sensation in my neck. I leaned back slightly uncomfortably, resting on the smooth kitchen counter, and took a breath: "Wen Yang, let me go first, we need Talk to me, you can't keep me locked up, I'm...uh..."
In the middle of speaking, Wen Yang pulled hard, leaned down and bit my lips fiercely, this kiss was too rough and angry.
Wen Yang's movements were too big, pulling the discomfort on my body, and the pain caused crocodile tears to ooze from my eyes.
This kiss was too long, I couldn't help taking a quick breath, my warm thumb brushed my cheek, Wen Yang said with a smile: "One kiss is such a grievance, and there will be more excessive things to do to you in the future, you Show me more tears at night."
My chest jumped suddenly, and I was so annoyed by Wen Yang's words, I held it back for a long time before stammering: "You—you—Wen Yang, it's wrong to do this."
How can this not remind me of my previous life, we seem to have switched identities now, when I was no longer so hysterical, Wen Yang used such extreme methods.
Of course I have no right to dislike Wen Yang, but I don't want him to become what he once hated the most. He deserves all the good things in this world, and he shouldn't give up his usual arrogance and principles just because of me.
"What's right?" Wen Yang suppressed his smile, "If I didn't do this, would you stay with me honestly? Since it's useless no matter how hard I try, why not just like this, maybe Can make love for a long time."
I stared at him blankly, and said awkwardly: "Wen Yang! No one is a masochist. Doing so will only be counterproductive. No one's feelings are born like this." No one knows better than me that if this continues, it will become No matter what the result is, the seeds of love in the dark and harsh environment will only rot in the end.
"Really?" Wen Yang said noncommittally, "It's good to have love, but it doesn't matter if it doesn't. Since I plan to do this, I don't have any hope."
Wen Yang's words made me stunned for a moment, I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable, I lowered my head and muttered: "Wen Yang, have you ever thought about it, the label of homosexuality is harmful to your reputation."
"You don't need to do anything in my name, you might as well cooperate with me well, maybe one day I will get tired of you, and you don't have to worry about it."
"what?"
"What?" Wen Yang took me away from the bar and pushed me onto a seat in the dining room, "Sit and wait for a while, the meal will be ready later."
I sat on the chair in a daze, looking at Wen Yang who was busy in the kitchen, the light fell on him softly, obviously he was still the tall, majestic and gentle image, but everything he did subverted my previous recognition Know.
I never thought that Wen Yang would do this, do I blame him
No, I don't blame him.
It was my evasive attitude and dishonest behavior that caused Wen Yang to distrust me, and I was even worse in my previous life.
Am I annoyed and angry? I don't think so either.
There is no one else, only Wen Yang and I, throwing away the past, and being with Wen Yang without any sense of guilt, I can't get angry at such a thing, on the contrary, I am a little secretly happy.
There is a faint voice in my heart saying, look, I have refused, I have also resisted, but it didn’t work, I just passively endured these things.
Passive acceptance often makes people feel a lot less guilty than active decision-making. This is the so-called corrupt official mentality. I choose to ignore these for the time being due to the interests in front of me and my own cowardice.
I have psychologically succumbed to being with Wen Yang.
So can I try to be with Wen Yang, even if the final result is not perfect, at least in the future I won't regret it because I missed the piece of fleshy bone that was in front of me.
Of course, Wen Yang is not meat and bones. If you have to compare it with food, it is also a gluttonous feast, a dream that I have never been able to reach.
I'm not a big girl. I changed my mind after being slept with for one night. It's just that Wen Yang took this step against his own principles, which has already demonstrated his determination, so what else do I have to dodge
Maybe this is wrong, but I can't change Wen Yang's decision, let alone control my own feelings.
The most important thing is that I can't let Wen Yang become a poor ghost who begged for love, like me at the beginning, struggling in the abyss of what I couldn't get, how could I be willing to let him bear that kind of pain
Wen Yang arranged delicious food for me: "Let's eat."
I lowered my head to calm down, and raised my hand cooperatively to pick up the spoon in front of me.
I haven't eaten for a long time, looking at the browned omelette and the porridge made with bone broth, I immediately feel hungry.
But before taking a few bites, I raised my head slowly and looked at the eyes that were hard to ignore.
I saw Wen Yang was surprised and looked at me with incomprehensible eyes.
I looked at him inexplicably: "What's wrong?"
"No." Wen Yang shook his head with a smile.
I didn't think about it, and continued to eat with my head down. Wen Yang's cooking skills seemed to be better than before, and I felt a little full without realizing it.
When I put down my chopsticks, Wen Yang had already finished his meal. He looked at me leisurely: "I get up early to exercise every day, but I don't have enough strength. I eat a lot, but I don't see any growth. If I didn't know your current job, I thought You returned from famine in the third world."
I paused while I was eating, lowered my head and said slowly: "Actually, I gained three catties after returning to China." I hope he understands that I am not acclimatized in the United States. Slowly recovering, although the slowness makes people feel uncomfortable, but it is indeed getting better slowly.
Wen Yang nodded slightly, and said: "Then get fatter, I don't want to do half of it on the bed, and you faint before you have fun, I will take you to take a good look at it when I have time."
"Wen Yang!" I put down the enamel and looked at him angrily.
Wen Yang smiled, gentle yet ambiguous: "I didn't see you angry about what happened last night, but now you are angry because of such a thing, obviously you are not such a good-tempered person, but you have such a high tolerance for this matter. "
I paused, slightly avoiding his gaze: "When are you going to let me go back to work?"
"When you are willing to live with me."
"I can promise you now." I said.
Wen Yang looked at me deeply, and after a while, he smiled slightly: "I don't believe it."
If you don't believe me, I almost couldn't breathe: "Can I still lie to you?" When I met Wen Yang's gentle and affectionate gaze, I suddenly couldn't say the next thing, my previous record seemed... indeed a bit wrong great.
"Even if you... don't believe me, you can't keep me locked up like this. At least let me talk to Jiang Ning. She is not the weak girl you imagined, and she won't give up just because of what you said." I tried communicate with him.
Wen Yang's eyes faded, and he said in a deep voice: "It doesn't matter how reasonable what you say, I just know that not long ago, she took you away in front of me, I might think about it with someone else, But not just her."
"My relationship with Jiang Ning is not what you think, she has a boyfriend in the United States." I explained eagerly.
Wen Yang stood up, leaned forward slightly, looked at me and said, "So? I couldn't ask for it, and I went back to my friend's place to wait for the opportunity? Do you remember what you said to me before going abroad, why did you go to the United States?"
"I… "
Sure enough, people can't lie. I said something bad at the beginning, but I dug such a hole for myself. At that time, I felt that there might not be a day to see each other again. I wondered if it was jealousy. Seeing that the other party was in a good relationship, I also wanted to give the other party a false appearance of pursuing happiness.
Wen Yang's expression seemed to be suppressing something, he said in a cold voice: "I could see clearly at the time, her dizziness without knowing the truth can make you panic, who did you do this to?"
I hurriedly said, "I am like this to you too, you are all very important people to me."
Wen Yang gritted his teeth and said, "But you chose her in the end."
There was a moment of stalemate in the atmosphere, Wen Yang looked at me sullenly, and finally turned around and was about to leave.
When I saw that someone was about to leave, I grabbed him as soon as I was in a hurry, and things changed later. This matter can't be postponed until the next time.
I stood up, looked at Wen Yang, took a deep breath, my heart couldn't help beating violently, and my voice trembled a little: "You are right, you are different from Jiang Ning, at least I won't want to treat her That's it." After that, I closed my eyes and kissed Wen Yang with the courage of a strong man.