No one has ever said this to me before, what I have always gained is ridicule and disgust, Qin Yuan called me a "second chair" countless times behind my back, Qin Fu completely gave up on me after knowing my sexual orientation, Wen Yang...
My emotions have never been recognized.
Sensitivity, hesitation, anxiety and uneasiness struggling in the air of public opinion, and those strange eyes often destroy my will and make it difficult for me to walk on the road of emotion.
I thought I would go on like this forever, living in my own dark world.
Looking at Jiang Ning, on the one hand, I feel the sadness that I feel, but on the other hand, I am suddenly released.
Jiang Ning lowered his head again in shame, turned on tiptoe in embarrassment, and said cowardly: "I... let's go back, if it's later, the dormitory will be closed."
Half an hour later, I sent Jiang Ning downstairs to the dormitory.
"Go up, I'm going back."
I turned to leave, but she grabbed my sleeve, and I turned around in surprise.
"Well, can I ask you something?" Jiang Ning quickly withdrew her hand and asked with her head down.
"what?"
"Can you give me a hug, my birthday will be in more than an hour, I think..." Jiang Ning said in a low voice, which could hardly be heard behind.
The moonlight is thick, the night wind shakes the shadows of the trees, the street lamps are dim, and the hazy lights are contrasted, and there is an ambiguous emotion in the air.
I stared blankly at the girl across from me. I was really intoxicated by the moonlight. Just now, I had the illusion that it would be good to find such a girl for the rest of my life.
Without my feedback, Jiang Ning sniffled sadly: "It's okay, I'll just talk casually, I'll go up first, thank you for sending me back..."
"Okay." I said.
I slowly opened my arms towards her: "Happy birthday, beautiful princess."
Jiang Ning closed his eyes, his long and dense eyelashes fluttered slightly, his face gradually turned red again, and the red cloud burned all the way to the base of his ears.
She hugged me slowly and said, "Shi Shan, thank you."
The corner of my mouth curled up, and I sincerely wished: "Beautiful girl, you will be happy."
A loud whistle sounded, and I looked back. On the window of the opposite dormitory building, Guo Yu's big head was exposed: "The head of the willow on the moon, after the dusk of the appointment... It's really embarrassing, haha, what are you guys doing?" It's an idol drama, it's so beautiful, I took all of you photos, San'er, don't forget to treat me to dinner.
Jiang Ning was taken aback, and hid behind me for a while, then said guiltily: "I'm sorry, they..."
I turned my head and comforted him: "It's okay, you go up first, don't worry about him."
"Then he..." Jiang Ning was a little worried, feeling that he had caused me trouble.
"It's okay, I will explain, go up." I persuaded.
Jiang Ning nodded, and went upstairs restlessly.
Guo Yu's loud voice was still shouting: "Siblings, don't worry, our Shi Shan is an absolutely good man. He hasn't been in a relationship for four years in college, and he is just waiting for you."
At night, when he yelled, a bunch of big heads stuck out: "What's going on?"
I went upstairs with a dark face.
This bastard Guo Yu has been hanging out with Yu Mingjie and those two idiots for a long time, and he has learned a lot about his strength, so he is really not afraid of big troubles.
As soon as I arrived at the dormitory, I was taken aside by Yu Mingjie, "San'er, it's amazing, is this done?"
"It's your size." I angrily pushed him aside and went to the balcony to get a basin to wash.
"Come on, how does it feel to be confessed by a girl?" Yu Mingjie leaned forward again without giving up, without winking at all.
what does it feel like I lowered my head and thought for a while, then replied, "Very good."
After hearing this, Guo Yu said dissatisfiedly, "That's a good word? That's my goddess."
"When did Jiang Ning become your goddess?" I looked back at him inexplicably.
"Ah, I went to the photography exhibition last week. Guess what I saw?" After Guo Yu asked, before we could guess, he said to himself, "Jiang Ning's works are actually exhibited there, and they are award-winning works. It’s making a fortune in silence, it’s too low-key.”
This surprised me a bit. Although I knew that Jiang Ning likes photography, I didn't know that she had already made achievements in this field.
Whenever there is a class activity, she takes the initiative to take pictures for everyone, but her DSLR often steals the spotlight than herself, as if someone has heard that it is very valuable.
And Guo Yu also likes photography very much. Since he got a new camera, he can play with it for nothing, and the whole dormitory is not disturbed by it.
Yu Mingjie sat on the chair, put his legs on the table like an old man, with a pensive look on his face: "It's not important, why do people like important people? Why doesn't anyone confess to me? Even if you don't get along with Saner Bi, even someone like Guo Zi has a girlfriend, what am I missing?"
"Bad brains! What do you mean even someone like me has a girlfriend? Your mother's IQ is not above the line, and she will be a bachelor for the rest of her life."
"Nonsense, my brother was admitted to x University by his own ability, okay? How can I have a low IQ?"
"You can copy serial people in cheat sheets. Your head is just to show off your height. You said that he was dating today, and you said that you are so stupid to get up. How dare you say that you have an IQ?"
Hearing the two arguing, I feel a little bit back to the reality of my school days, but it's a pity that I will graduate soon.
The bathroom was opened, and Wen Yang just finished taking a shower, and came out with wet hair, broad shoulders, long legs, and a black T-shirt, really a handsome word in capitals.
Naturally, I didn't dare to look too much, so I took the basin and prepared to go in.
"Jiang Ning will go abroad after graduation." Wen Yang said lightly.
"Huh?" I didn't respond.
"Is it true?" Yu Mingjie was also taken aback, "Then what should you two do?"
I subconsciously looked at Wen Yang, Wen Yang had already returned to his position without any concern, and concentrated on brushing his hair.
I turned my head, exhaled, and explained, "We're not together."
"what?"
"We're not together, why are you hugging, playing hooligans." Yu Mingjie jumped violently.
I didn't even bother to look at him, so I took out the towel and said, "I've got too many people in my arms, are you in charge, and I'm in a hurry to come here?"
Guo Yu: "... don't grind it."
…
"That's true. San'er and Boss Wen have slept together?" Yu Mingjie crossed Erlang's legs, "Our San'er has always had a good fortune, both men and women kill each other!"
"I even kissed Dayu's little hand today. This man is too corrupt. Boss, you met a scumbag." Guo Yu was indignant.
As soon as I was about to go into the bathroom, I heard Wen Yang say solemnly: "Indeed!" I almost staggered and threw the basin out.
…
Yu Mingjie looked shocked: "What's wrong with you, Wen Yang, don't you usually protect San'er? Could it be that you have finally seen through his sinister nature and plan to join our "Anti-San'er Alliance"?"
"What do you know? I'm jealous. San'er is our eldest's favorite concubine. She doesn't obey women's morals. She is pampered and coquettish. She hooks up everywhere. It's unbearable. Why don't San'er apologize quickly?" Guo Yu yelled at me.
I:"… "
Although Guo Yu didn't know the reason, he also knew that Wen Yang and I had an unpleasant quarrel before. Seeing that we didn't talk much, he talked to us quickly.
Only Yu Mingjie, with his rough nerves, didn't see anything.
Wen Yang also stopped moving, and looked over at me, his expression was a little dull, and there was a brief silence in the dormitory.
I secretly exhaled, lowered my eyes, and said solemnly: "I'm sorry, next time... I won't do it." Then, I took the toiletries and went into the bathroom, not caring about how other people felt.
I should apologize to Wen Tang. The hurt in my previous life cannot be offset by saying I'm sorry, but now I'm still saying some hurtful things in the name of staying away from him. To put it bluntly, I'm still selfish.
It was Jiang Ning who made me realize how to love someone.
How to say that sentence, rolling in the world of mortals, silently equal, why live a pessimistic life, move forward according to the established goal, don't need to be perfect, but seek perfection.
As soon as I got out of the shower, the dormitory was plunged into darkness.
"Hey, I haven't turned off my computer yet! Why are the lights turned off so early today?" Yu Mingjie shouted
Sighing, I crawled into bed and wrapped myself in the comforter, what a messy day.
It's good to sleep until dawn, and it's good to graduate soon. You don't need to go to class and you can sleep until you wake up naturally.
Wen Yang is still sleeping, probably because he drank too much yesterday, after I cleaned up, I still didn't see him move.
Wen Yang is usually very self-disciplined. I have never seen him stay in bed. Today is really abnormal. I walked over hesitantly.
I yelled twice and found nothing.
I subconsciously feel something is wrong...
I bravely stood under his bed, then stretched out my hand to shake his quilt, and called again: "Wen Yang?"
no response…
I suddenly had a bad feeling.
"Hmm..." There was a painful groan.
My hands trembled, and I quickly climbed up the bed ladder to check. I was too familiar with this voice in my previous life.
"Wen Yang... what's wrong with you?"
Wen Yang under the quilt had a pale face, curled up in pain, the sweat on his face flowed down his cheeks to his lips, and he pressed his hands tightly to his stomach.
I finally remembered that Wen Yang's health has always been very good, but since he broke up with his family in his senior year, his diet has become irregular, coupled with the pressure of starting a business, he has been talking about business and drinking.
Yesterday... He drank too much at the class reunion yesterday, so Wen Yang's stomach problem was the cause...
"Wen Yang, don't be afraid, I'll take you to the hospital—be patient—" I helped Wen Yang up, and found that my hands were shaking, it was the first time I was so scared after being reborn.
The classmates next door helped me take Wen Yang out of the dormitory, and I ran outside the school with Wen Yang on my back.
"Shi Shan, go to the school hospital this way."
No... I can't go to the school doctor, I have to go to the hospital.
I carried Wen Yang on my back, my warm breath hit my shoulders, my throat was a little sore, there was a faint stabbing pain somewhere in my heart, and my voice choked up uncontrollably: "Wen Yang will be fine, just bear with me." Shinobu, I'll take you to the hospital right away."
"Wen Yang, I was wrong, don't scare me!"
This kind of Wen Yang, such a lifeless Wen Yang, reminds me of how Wen Yang in his previous life left me like this, leaving without nostalgia in front of me.
He said it was like this in this life, but he never wanted to see me again in his next life.
He said he was leaving and everyone was safe.