Dr. Meng is very young, wearing a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, handsome and dignified, but he is so serious that he can display it as a sculpture in an art museum.
I don't think he should be sitting here looking at my x-rays, he should be a movie star, squealing at a bunch of ignorant girls.
"Mr. Pei, I suggest you inform your family." He looked up at me with a serious face.
I have watched many 8 o'clock TV series, and I understand what it means to notify the family.
"Cancer?" I asked.
He shook his head, "I'm not sure yet, we won't be able to make a conclusion until the slices are tested, so you don't need to be too desperate."
I laughed out loud.
despair? Where do I have the strength to despair.
Dr. Meng frowned and looked at me. He probably thought that I was too stimulated and lost control of my emotions.
I shook my head at him, indicating that I was fine.
"When will the laboratory operation be done?" I asked him.
He said the sooner the better.
The two sides agreed on a good time, and I took a taxi back to the apartment.
The room was empty, the curtains were drawn tight, and there was no trace of life.
The broken glass was still where it was last night, and I didn't bother to clean it.
Sitting on the sofa and turning on the TV, the heroine suffers from a terminal illness, and the two men are overwhelmed by her, wanting to live and die together, so touching.
Suddenly feel very sorry for myself.
Pei Jiyu, you hateful person, no one in the world loves you.
Before going to bed, he took out a bottle of sleeping pills from his coat pocket.
He decided to commit suicide last night, but suddenly passed out while pouring water in the kitchen, and fell asleep until noon today, and no one noticed.
Going to the hospital alone, spending a lot of money and allowing others to see through him from the inside out, only to get a result of "50% chance of being terminally ill".
There are a few people whose lives can be like Pei Jiyu's, with twists and turns and surprises.
I couldn't understand for a moment whether God wanted me to die or not.
I told He Li that I want to resign.
He showed such an expression as expected, and said contemptuously to me: "Pei Jiyu, I thought you could pretend for how long."
If I don't explain it, he will take it as my default.
"You have to remember, you are just a pet I raised, as long as you obey me obediently, you will get everything you want," He Li pinched my chin, "Don't be so greedy, or I will will leave you with nothing."
I am silent.
He pinched the hand on my chin hard, "Why don't you talk, huh?"
There was danger in the words.
So I replied obediently, "Yes, I won't be so greedy anymore."
He Li, I should have understood him long ago.
It's a pity I've been obsessed with it for so long.
I met him at the end of my life, and he stretched out a hand to me at the bottom of my abyss. It was just a whim, but I thought true love had come.
He treats me like a pet, but I treat him like a lover.
It turned out that I was too greedy. Unfortunately, I only figured it out today.
Lu Qingfan once told me that there is a time for a person's innocence.
Fortunately, I wake up to everything today, it is not too late.
Lu Qingfan said again, Jiyu, you are so unscrupulous, one day you will exhaust all your innocence. What should you do by then
Now that I have used up all my innocence, what should I do
What else can I do
Naturally, I washed my face and dressed, and rushed to the hospital to check the unknown tumor in my body.
Dr. Meng said that it would take three to five days for the test results.
"Don't worry," he said, "it's probably a benign tumor."
That said, it's also very likely to be malignant. I thought to myself, every doctor speaks so skillfully.
"I never thought before that one day my life and death would be related to a small tumor." I said with some emotion.
"Even if it is malignant in the end, you may not die." Dr. Meng said, "Many people survive after treatment."
"Survive?" I laughed, "How many years can you live? Even if you do survive, you must take medicine on time, go to the hospital for check-ups every month, and control your diet if you ban smoking and smoking. No one will treat you as a normal person anymore, including you. I am also terrified, afraid that the old disease will recur. What's the point of living so cautiously?"
Dr. Meng looked up at me and said seriously, "Mr. Pei, you are too pessimistic about life. As long as a person is alive, there are infinite possibilities. But once a person dies, there is no chance to feel happiness."
But when a person dies, he will no longer be sad and disappointed.
I didn't tell him that.
He may not understand it, because there is only one Pei Jiyu in the world.
Maybe I'm really too pessimistic about life.
I have no respect for the sacred cause of being alive, because it has failed me so much.
I don't know if I prayed too devoutly before, but now I am so completely disheartened.
After bidding farewell to Doctor Meng, they met Lin Ming at the entrance of the hospital.
And He Li who was with him.
They go in, I go out, just meet each other.
I am very embarrassed.
Lin Ming was cowardly and weak, like a broken porcelain doll, pitiful and lovely, unsurpassed in beauty, and young and young, if I were He Li, I would choose him too.
Why didn't I understand it before, insisted on questioning him face to face, and the result was not humiliating myself.
If I had a sliver of self-knowledge back then, I would have silently packed my bags and fled from He Li's side after knowing that there was such a person as Lin Ming in the world.
At worst, I pretended to be confused, closed my eyes and continued to be He Li's obedient pet. When the day he got bored, he sent me away with a large sum of money.
How naive should I be to ask him, do you love me or not? Only then did he block Lin Ming at the door, forcing him to leave He Li.
There is no other fool in the world who is more stupid than Pei Jiyu.
Lin Ming shrank into a ball in fear when he saw me. He probably still remembers the time I slapped him.
He Li hugged Lin Ming's shoulders, wrapping most of him in his arms, protecting him like a glazed treasure.
He also had such a time with me, and he was afraid of melting in his mouth. But later, because of Lin Ming, he ordered someone to slap me ten times. My face was swollen and I couldn't see anyone for more than a month.
He Li said to me, "This time I'm going to teach you a lesson, to let you know how to behave. Pei Jiyu, it's because I spoil you so much that you forget your identity."
Not that I forgot, I just didn't figure it out in the first place.
I was like a clown on stage, making the audience laugh out loud with my ugliness, but I naively thought that they really liked me when they laughed.
Tsk, what a stupid word.
"Jiyu, why are you here?" He Li first asked me, he was a little surprised.
As if I shouldn't be sick and see a doctor.
"Oh, I have a cold, let's get some medicine." I lied.
Are you going to tell him the truth? I have a tumor in my stomach, and the doctor asked me to have a test today to see how many days I have left to live.
No, no, you can't say that, it just makes him despise me.
He would frown and say to me in disgust: "Pei Jiyu, you actually came up with such a cliche way to win my sympathy."
No, no, this scene hurts me just thinking about it.
I used to love this person so much, but now he has left me covered in bruises, and his casual words can be the last straw that crushes me.
"It's cold, you need to wear more." He looked at my slightly worn coat, "I'll have someone transfer money to your card, and it's time for you to buy some new clothes for the winter."
I nodded, "Yes, I will."
He already thinks I'm not bright enough, I'm just a worn-out piece of clothing in his eyes, he doesn't have to wait until this winter is over, he will abandon me like a piece of trash.
He Li didn't say any more, and walked past me with Lin Ming, without looking at me any more.
I stood quietly, knowing that the backs of the two of them disappeared at the corner of the corridor, so I hurriedly fled from the hospital door.
Running fast all the way, caused a lot of dissatisfaction among passers-by. I dodged into a dark dead-end street, crouching in the shadows of the buildings on either side. Wrapped tightly in the wool coat, but still shivering from the cold.
It's really cold this winter, but I'm too thin.
So I shouldn't blame him for wanting a new coat.