Back upstairs, snowflakes fell on my shoulders.
Meng Siqi hadn't gotten off work yet, and I was sitting alone in the big apartment, suddenly feeling that the world was startlingly quiet.
I could hear my own breath hit the floor with a single sound.
I remembered what Chen Erxin said, and I asked myself, Pei Jiyu, why not give myself a chance to start over.
You are not dead yet, it is not too late.
No one loves you, so why don't you love yourself.
Why give up on yourself for others
Sitting alone on the sofa in the living room for a long time, I finally gradually figured it out.
Suddenly remembering his father, Lu Qingfan said that his time was numbered.
After my mother passed away, the relationship between my father and I became increasingly indifferent. He was busy with work and rarely cared about me. During the years in the UK, we almost never contacted each other, let alone these four years, father and son were strangers.
But he was my father after all.
Born me and raised me, the first person in the world who taught me to love.
For all reason, I should see him. If he is still willing, I will accompany him through the last journey with him.
If you want to see your father, you must contact Lu Qingfan.
I remembered that Meng Siqi once told me that the photo with the phone number was kept in the drawer of his study.
So open the door and go in.
Meng Siqi's study was quiet and tidy, and the bookshelves against the wall were full of medical techniques, most of which were related to tumors.
I went to his desk and opened the drawer.
The photo of me and Lu Qingfan was placed on the top, I looked at those two teenagers, and I was full of sighs.
Picking up the photo, he issued his order. There was a photo, neatly put together with a few pieces of yellowed sugar paper. Out of curiosity, I picked up the old photo for a closer look.
It was not a formal photo, it seemed to be a random snapshot taken at a wedding banquet, it was full of profiles or backs of the guests, without a single face.
I don't know why Meng Siqi kept such a useless photo so preciously.
Just as I was wondering, a hand suddenly stretched out from behind and snatched the photo away. I was so startled that I turned around, only to see Meng Siqi standing behind me blushing, with his coat still on.
I thought he was angry.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rummage through your stuff," I apologized to him, a little embarrassed, "I just came to find my stuff."
Meng Siqi didn't speak, but just looked at me with complicated expressions. I regretted it very much in my heart. I shouldn't be curious to peep into other people's secrets.
"I'm sorry." I said again.
His silence left me empty inside, with nowhere to go.
But Meng Siqi let out a long sigh, showing a disappointed and helpless expression, "You really don't remember." He said.
I didn't react for a moment.
"More than ten years ago, we met once, and you were only this size at that time, with a chubby face and baby fat." He gestured for height with his hands, "I am only this tall."
I'm at a loss.
"I think you have forgotten me too. After all, so many years have passed." Meng Siqi showed a lonely look on his face.
"Not long after my mother died of illness, my father ordered me to marry someone else. I was young and ignorant, and my stepmother was born to be at odds with me. I was very unhappy about my father's marriage.
On the day of my father's wedding, I hid in a corner and cried secretly. I just felt that everyone in the world was sorry for me. In short, I was wronged and sad.
My father invited many guests to the wedding, and he brought a lot of children, playing around, and no one noticed that my eldest son was missing.
So I became more and more resentful, thinking that I was abandoned by the whole world, and wished that the world would end at this very moment. Then you appeared in front of me.
At that time, you were only seven or eight years old. You were so naive. When you saw me wiping tears in the corner, you came over and said to me, 'Brother, don't cry. I'll give you my candy.' '
I looked up and saw a white palm spread out in front of me, with four milk fudge lying quietly in the palm.
You are pitiful, with a face full of reluctance, 'This is the last four, and I don't have any anymore. '
You thought I hid and cried alone because I didn't get any candy. "
Having said that, Meng Siqi smiled lightly.
I have forgotten about this old thing.
"At that time, I thought, this child is so innocent and cute, he must be cared for and grow up in the palm of my hand. On that day, I always thank you, because there are so many people, only you came to comfort me, gave me my beloved candy, called I don't want to cry anymore. It's just you," he said.
I also don't know that a small incident back then will teach Meng Siqi to remember it to this day.
I'm not even impressed.
"Later, my grandmother couldn't get used to my stepmother and took me away to live with her. I didn't come back to this city until I became an adult."
"Then the picture..."
"You are in the photo." He said, "I looked through all the photos of the wedding banquet, and only this one has your shadow on it. I don't know where you ran when everyone took pictures."
The language seems to blame.
"Where is me?" Why didn't I see you just now
"Here." Meng Siqi pointed to a small child among the figures, only half of his face was exposed.
I looked carefully for a long time, and it really was me.
I still need a long time to identify myself. I don’t know how Meng Siqi found me in thousands of photos.
"At that time, I took this photo and asked my friends everywhere, but they knew who this child was. Finally, I found out from a friend's sister that this boy is the young master of the Pei family."
He said it easily, but I know he must have been looking for it for a long time. His friends are all of the same age, how can he know someone who is three or four years younger than them.
"When I came back to this city, you had already gone to the UK," he said, "The Pei family kept saying that you were studying in the UK. When you came to the hospital that day, I thought I met someone with the same name, until I met someone with the same name in a restaurant. You, I just realized that you are really Pei Jiyu, you are the child who told me not to cry. Jiyu, I have been waiting to meet you again all these years."
I am speechless.
The chest was full of warmth, the nose suddenly felt sour, and I couldn't help but want to cry, so I had to slowly squat down and cover my face with both hands.
"Jiyu," Meng Siqi teased me softly, "Don't cry, I have a lot of candy now, don't cry anymore."
"I didn't cry, Meng Siqi, I didn't cry." I was laughing, no one knew how happy I was now.
I looked up at him from the palm of my hand, with tears in my eyes, but a smile on my face.
"You're scaring me again." Meng Siqi's ears turned red, heh, he would also be shy.
"Jiyu, I want to take you back to meet my grandmother. She will come to settle in this city next year. It's the New Year. Would you like to pick her up with me?" He asked me.
I was instantly nervous, and stammered my excuses, "No, no, no."
He lived with his grandmother since he was a child, and my grandmother is his oldest parent. If he takes me there during the New Year, it will embarrass him for no reason.
Meng Siqi smiled, "Grandmother, she knew that there was a little boy in my heart who gave me candies, and she would like you."
I was surprised that his grandmother was such an open-minded old man, the exact opposite of my father.
If my father had been tolerant to me back then, maybe Pei Jiyu would be another story.