God probably favored me very much, so he called me non-stop.
Dr. Meng handed me the test sheet with a serious face, and I was dazzled by the miscellaneous data on it.
Quickly saving my eyes from the receipt in my hand, I asked him directly, "What's the result?"
I am dead or alive.
Dr. Meng said, "Mr. Pei, you have to be mentally prepared."
oh. One sentence makes it clear.
"That's malignant?" I confirmed to him.
He nodded.
"Oh." I also nodded, without much fear in my heart, after all, I have been disappointed too many times, and I have gradually learned not to hold hope.
"How long do I have to live?"
"Half a year, up to a year."
Dr. Meng's expression seemed to be three points more painful than mine, and I could hardly help comforting him: It's okay, I'm much better than those people who were hit by a car when they went out and died for no reason.
At least I know when I'm going to die.
"You should receive chemotherapy as soon as possible," he advised me.
I didn't say anything, turned around and left.
When I got out of the hospital, I crumpled up the test sheet and threw it into the trash can.
After sleeping in bed for a day and a night, I was woken up by the sound of my hungry stomach.
I ran to the kitchen barefoot, opened the refrigerator, and found nothing but three cans of beer.
Well, talk is better than nothing.
While drinking beer, wandering around the house, digging through old furnishings one by one.
This apartment was given to me by He Li, and I have lived in it for four years. In other words, I have been by He Li's side for four years.
Four years ago I was cornered and worked as a waitress in a nightclub.
Before that, I didn't know the difficulty of surviving. I let people call me around, insult me, beat me, and always greet me with a smile.
But I still swallowed my anger and insisted on doing it, because I always have to live.
But I didn't expect that there would still be times when I couldn't bear it, for example, a middle-aged man with a shiny face and a fat stomach in the box put a salty pig's hand on my buttocks and rubbed it.
Really couldn't bear it anymore, picked up a glass of wine and poured it on his face.
At that time, I was naive, proud and inexperienced, and my self-esteem was the highest price. Now, even if he puts his hand in my chest, I can continue to smile.
How much is half-faced skin worth? There are far more painful things in the world than selling self-esteem.
At that moment, no one spoke, and the whole box fell silent. Everyone turned their attention to me, some were shocked, and some were waiting to see a joke.
The middle-aged man was furious. I made him unable to get off the stage in front of everyone. He wanted me to live tonight and never have a tomorrow.
It's not that I'm not scared, but how have I ever been through something like this, and there's nowhere to ask for help.
I was abandoned four years ago.
I looked around in horror. There were many people in the box, all in suits and leather shoes. They probably came to have fun after discussing business, but they didn't expect to meet me so disappointingly.
I don't know who to turn to for help.
He Li was in that private room at the time, and I don't know what moved him, so he stood up and pleaded for me.
"Boss Fang, why let such a small person down the fun on such a good day today," he said suddenly.
Everyone turned to look at him, and so did I.
He was sitting in the corner, the lighting in the box was dim, I only saw a young man with one leg crossed over the other, extremely comfortable but overwhelming.
Seeing him speak, the middle-aged man hesitated.
He Li said to me, "Hurry up and get out, it's preventing me from discussing new cooperation projects with Boss Fang."
Although the words were powerful, there was a smile on his face.
Everyone else was unstoppable, so I hurried out.
It was only later that I realized that he replaced me with a deal that day. With the "new cooperation project", how could the boss not be willing to spare me a little waiter.
Thinking about how Li treated me well, it was indeed because I wanted too much.
After that, He Li often came to see me, invited me to dinner, took me to and from get off work, and offered all kinds of hospitality.
I fell in love with him then.
Because I thought he was pursuing me seriously, but he really loved me. How did he know that he just put in a little effort to cast a big net to catch a pet for play.
I deserve what I have today, who told me to be passionate.
I always fall in love with others easily, and then push myself to the edge of the cliff step by step, so now I am forced to advance and cannot retreat.
I should have learned to be smarter.
I'm thinking about whether to dedicate the remaining half a year to He Li, to be a person who has a beginning and an end.
I struggled with the contradiction for a long time, but in the end I had to laugh at myself. Even if I was willing, He Li might not be willing.
He longed for me to disappear, so that he could get rid of a trouble and free up a place for the next pet that would please him more.
With that in mind, I put down the beer can and started packing.
He dragged out a large dusty suitcase from the corner, opened the wardrobe and lockers, and began to organize the accumulated clothes.
It is only now that I realize that my things are pitifully small, almost as long as I throw away all the clothes in the closet, I can erase my traces in He Li's life.
He never had to think of me again.
When packing, I found a dilapidated and yellowed photo at the bottom of a drawer.
I hold it high in my hand and look up.
It is almost impossible to recognize the people in the photos.
It was me and Lu Qingfan when we were teenagers, probably in our teens, before I went to England.
In the photo, I hugged Lu Qingfan's shoulders, smiling brighter than the sun that day, while Lu Qingfan smiled more restrained, making him look even more mature.
He is always so cautious, his emotions are hidden deep in his heart, I can never see through him.
There is a string of phone numbers on the back of the photo, left by Lu Qingfan.
When he left, he said to me expressionlessly, "Pei Jiyu, if you regret it, you can call me at this number."
I don't know if this old photo touched my sentimental emotions. My enthusiasm for packing my luggage has ebbed like a tide for a while, and my interest is lacking.
I lay in the room full of clutter, pinching a photo in my hand, thinking of many past events, some were happy, but most of them were unhappy.
No wonder the tragedy is impressive. Because happiness is fleeting, but tears never dry up.
After lying down for a while, my stomach protested again.
The sky and the earth are big, and the food is the biggest.
I suddenly turned over from the floor and sat up. I felt a coldness on my back, and the coldness penetrated into my chest and abdomen. I was afraid that if I lay down for a while, my heart would be covered with frost.
He grabbed his coat and put away his wallet, closed the door and went downstairs, took a taxi and rushed to the nearest restaurant.