The sound of the mobile phone in the pocket broke the tense atmosphere between us. Qiao Lang and I were in a stalemate for a moment, but still discouraged, we took a step back and took out the mobile phone to answer.
"Pei Jiyu, where are you! Why didn't you stay in the hospital, do you know what happened!" Lu Qingfan asked me loudly, I could hear his voice was unusual.
As if feeling something, my heart suddenly throbbed. I hurriedly asked him, "How is Dad?"
After a few seconds of silence, Lu Qingfan finally spoke. He said, "Father lost his breath a few minutes ago. The nurse informed me that I couldn't find you anywhere. It was Meng Siqi who told me your number..."
Suddenly there was darkness in front of my eyes, and there was a buzzing sound in my ears. It seemed that Lu Qingfan was still talking on the phone, but I couldn't hear it.
In a trance, a dark curtain descended slowly, isolating me from the world.
I saw my father and mother coming hand in hand, both of them looked like when they were young. They stood still not far away, looking at me and smiling together.
I knew in my heart that they were coming to say goodbye to me, and I became more and more anxious, trying to run over to keep them, but when I lowered my head, I found that my body was covered with silver chains.
Looking up at my parents, they turned around and walked away together. I was sweating profusely, but my hands and feet were bound and I couldn't move a step.
After struggling to open his eyes, he realized that it was just a nightmare.
But in reality there are still nightmares.
Qiao Lang came up to me as soon as I woke up, "You have this kind of disease, but you have been hiding it from me."
In his hand he held a box containing painkillers.
"You misunderstood, I only use these medicines for headaches."
I'm not going to let him know that this is just my business, and he is already irrelevant.
"Don't lie to me again. I asked a doctor when you were in a coma. He said you had symptoms after chemotherapy."
There is still an excuse for hair loss, but there are red spots on the body, which Meng Siqi said is due to chemotherapy-induced thrombocytopenia.
"My father passed away in the hospital, and I have to leave." I didn't care about him, and I lifted the quilt and got out of bed.
Joran grabbed me and held me tightly in his arms.
"I don't want revenge, and I don't want Qiao's family to pay any price. I don't want anything. I just want you by my side. Pei, I've already regretted it. Please don't leave me again." His voice was trembling.
I suddenly felt pity in my heart. Back to four years ago in a trance, the lonely boy was sitting in a corner of the square, his eyes were covered with white shadows of pigeons flying, I knew he was waiting for someone to take him away.
I almost fell in love with him, but fate turned around, and I still have to leave him alone to continue waiting.
I'm not the one he should be waiting for.
"Qiao Lang, I had everything four years ago, so I was able to put all my eggs in one basket for you, but now Pei Jiyu has nothing, and I can no longer give up anything for you. You can wait for a lifetime, but I don't have that long anymore Come back to your side." I said softly, "Joran, this time I don't want you."
Joey sent me out the door. Qiao Lang locked himself in the study and refused to come out.
Zheng Yijia had already left with Chen Erxin, but Qiao Yi did not go to her after all.
"It's incredible that Joram would let you go. How on earth did you persuade him?"
Qiao Yi was very surprised when Qiao Ranken let go.
"I thought he would do anything to keep you." Qiao Yi said with a smile.
I was suddenly tired of Qiao Yi's cynical attitude.
"I just let him know that it is impossible to turn back time, even if he is willing to give up everything, we can't go back to four years ago." I said, "No one will always wait for you to regret it. If you miss this time, it will be forever. You can't look back, it's impossible to start over from the beginning. Do you understand this, Qiao Yi?"
Qiao Yi was stunned by my words.
The driver of Qiao's house opened the door for me. I looked up to see where the study was, and Qiao Lang was standing by the window. His tall, thin figure blended into the dark background like a shadow.
I said goodbye to him silently.
The car drove me slowly away from Qiao's house. I watched the fine snow outside the car, which would gradually bury all the traces of the past.
I was not present at my father's funeral.
I fell into a coma on the way, and Meng Siqi rushed me to the hospital. When I woke up, everything was over, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and the dead will finally rest in eternal peace.
"After so many years, he can finally be with his mother. I think my father has been waiting for this day for a long time." The only last wish of his father before he died was to be buried with his mother.
"I didn't have time to see him for the last time." I stared blankly at Meng Siqi, "I owe the most to my father in this life. I'm always obsessed with him, but I can't be filial to my father. Am I right?" Filial son."
My conscience condemns me.
"He will forgive you."
I shook my head, "No, I'd rather he never forgive me. I don't deserve his forgiveness. I've failed him all the time. He doesn't deserve a failed son like me."
Meng Siqi put one hand on my shoulder, "You are tired, take a rest."
"I can't sleep," I put my hands on my forehead, and said in pain, "I'm afraid that in my dream, everyone will leave me, they will all leave, and I will be left alone, unable to go anywhere."
"Jiyu, your mood has been very unstable recently, and if this continues, it will affect your treatment." Meng Siqi's eyebrows were slightly worried, "Do you need me to prescribe you some tranquilizers?"
"I don't know, Meng Siqi, I don't know what to do. I have been doing wrong things, so I am rejected by everyone, and I can't keep anyone. It's all my own fault, and no one will forgive me."
I got emotional and started talking incoherently.
"Calm down, Jiyu." Meng Siqi hugged me tightly, wrapped his arms around me, and comforted me softly in my ear, "You still have me, and you still have me."
He patted me on the back, "I will always stay by your side, no matter what you do wrong, I will forgive you."
Meng Siqi asked me to take sleeping pills, and after a while I was finally able to fall asleep.
When I returned to the apartment from the hospital the next day, Meng Siqi was worried about my mental state and wanted to stay with me, but in the end I was driven to work.
When the ego meets him, it has many burdens on him. My feelings have always been weak, and I have relied too much on him. If things go on like this, he will definitely neglect other things.
Even if everything is his will, I don't want to be his emotional burden.
I should gradually learn to be independent of my heart. It is always unrealistic to expect to receive love or comfort from others forever.
It is not without reason that I have failed again and again.