It was sixteen years old.
At that time, the spring breeze was warm in the afternoon, gently blowing across the porch, and the long branches covered with white flowers were floating on his shoulders. I couldn't help but move closer to him and said to him, "Lu Qingfan, do you know that I like you?"
As if in a hurry, he pushed me away.
He said, "You shouldn't be teasing me."
I froze and said, "I really like you."
He looked at me coldly, and took a step back, "Pei Jiyu, do you know what you're talking about?"
I refused to give up, I took a step forward and looked at him directly, "Is it because I'm a man?"
He pursed his lips, his back was tensed, and there was that mocking expression on his face.
"Master, I'm just a dog raised by your Pei family." He said mockingly.
Soon Lu Qingfan started dating Liang Baiwei, the youngest daughter of the Liang family.
Male talent and female appearance, standing together complement each other, how well-matched it makes me feel ashamed.
When I was young, I thought that if I liked it, I liked it, and if I didn't like it, I didn't like it.
Until that day when my father held a banquet, I accidentally saw him and a woman kissing in the corridor on the second floor, and it took a long time to separate.
My mind went blank, and I stayed in the shadows blankly until the woman went downstairs and left alone.
Leaning his back against the wall, he took out a cigarette and lit it.
"Pei Jiyu, you haven't come out yet." It turned out that he had already spotted me.
A faint smoke enveloped his face, and I couldn't see him clearly.
I walked up to him and asked in disbelief, "Is that person Bai Wei's friend just now?"
He looked at me coldly from the smoke, without saying a word.
"Don't you like Bai Wei? How could you treat her like this!" I was angry.
Lu Qingfan actually laughed. He looked at me with mixed expressions, sad and happy, "Jiyu, you are so naive. We are just using each other, they are just too lonely, and I need help. A dog at home. Do you really think that Liang Baiwei loves me?"
I was so shocked that I couldn't speak, as if the world collapsed in one day.
"A person's innocence has a time," he stretched out his hands to cup my face, "Jiyu, you shouldn't dream anymore."
Lu Qingfan lowered his head with a light smile and kissed my lips.
There are still traces of others on his lips.
I want to tell him, Lu Qingfan, I really like you.
But when I was sixteen, I couldn't move.
Soon after, I came to England alone to study.
I can no longer face Lu Qingfan, and I cannot forgive him.
He ruthlessly smashed my world into pieces, putting the filth and ugliness in front of my eyes. He told me plainly that what I fell in love with was just a despicable person whose power betrayed me, and he wanted me to wake up from my dream quickly.
He looked at me with pity, and he said to me, Jiyu, you should stop dreaming.
After a long time, I will meet even more hateful people, and I will forgive them, but I will not forgive Lu Qingfan.
Even if one day, Pei Jiyu will no longer love anyone, but he will still hate Lu Qingfan.
Because he was the first to disappoint me.
I just curled up on the floor and fell asleep. Fortunately, there was enough heating to prevent me from falling asleep forever.
When I woke up, I saw He Li sitting beside my bed.
I could hardly bear to wipe my eyes, He Li has not appeared in this apartment for nearly two months, because there are more beautiful characters worthy of his appreciation. Naturally, my old love is far away, so as not to hinder the beautiful scenery in front of me.
I didn't expect him to come back to me.
I stood up hastily, and my clothes were already soaked in pickles.
"How do you use space?" I was a little embarrassed to see him.
He Li didn't raise his head, the suitcase he packed last night was placed on the bed, he opened it, and flipped through the clothes I piled in it.
I originally wanted to leave today, but I didn't expect to meet him. That's fine, so I don't have to go to him and make him think I have something up for grabs.
"What are you packing up for? Are you going to travel abroad?" He asked casually as he rummaged through my clothes.
His voice was neither salty nor weak, although the meaning was unclear, but at least it was not angry.
I breathed a sigh of relief, originally I was afraid that he would get angry and refused to let me go.
I laughed at myself in my heart, Pei Jiyu, you think highly of yourself so that people don't care about you.
I shook my head at He Li, "It's not a trip, I'm leaving."
He paused while flipping through things, then slowly raised his head to look at me, with a smile on his lips, "What did you say, say it again?"
I thought he didn't understand, so I repeated, "He Li, I want to leave your side, I want to break up with you."
It couldn't be more clear.
The smile on He Li's face faded slowly, he slammed the suitcase onto the floor, the sound was so loud that I took a step back in fright.
"You want to break up with me?" He Li sneered, "Pei Jiyu, what right do you have to say goodbye to me?"
Shocked by his appearance, I fell silent.
I used the wrong word, Pei Jiyu is just a pet that He Li raises casually, how can I use the word "break up".
After a while, I said in a low voice, "Please let me go." I am infinitely humble.
I don't want to cause any more complications, I don't have time to entangle with him in love and hate.
He Li stared at me viciously, looking like a cannibal, but after a while he laughed again.
"Oh, Jiyu, you're playing tricks again." He smiled so clearly and yet so contemptuously, "Do you think I'll abandon Lin Ming and come back to you?"
He came over, stretched out a hand to touch my cheek, and said to me in a low and gentle voice, "Jiyu, you are still too greedy."
Slowly inserting his fingers into my hair, he lowered his head slightly and brought his face closer to mine, "You really like me so much, huh?"
The deep affection in He Li's eyes can make people addicted, but at this moment, like the pupils of Medusa, my heart was reduced to dust inch by inch.
Pei Jiyu, how naive did you have to be to think that this person loves you
He Li put his lips close to my ear, and said ambiguously and dangerously, "Don't mention this matter again. If you dare to leave me, I will kill you."
This sentence is not just a threat, he can do what he says.
But I will leave him eventually.
If you ask Pei Jiyu what he is most afraid of, it is death.
How could anyone be stupid enough to threaten a dying man with death? I laughed secretly in my heart, and suddenly felt very sad, because that person didn't even know that you were going to die, and he didn't want to care about your recent situation.
How can I not leave
Not long after He Li left, I got up from the bed, picked up my clothes and put them on.
Without looking at the suitcase that was swept on the ground, he just walked out the door.
Originally, I wanted to leave a note for him, telling He Li that I really left, and I wasn't trying to trick him. When I picked up the pen, I couldn't write a word.
It turned out that I had nothing to say to him since a long time ago.